So I get to my mate's house after a long day of work hoping to unwind and relax with the company of friends and good ol' marijuana.
As I enter the room where my two mates were I hear manic laughter ("fair enough - they're stoned" I thought). They saved me a half smoked spliff and claimed they couldn't handle the rest of it, which I found odd seeing as they are heavy stoners, but I unquestioningly smoked the rest of it. I was oblivious to the fact the roach had been dipped in LSD.
After a short while we decided to go out to see a dealer for weed. I was completely unaware that I had taken acid and just thought I was high off some exceptionally good weed. As we got downstairs I heard Percy's (not his real name obviously) little brother complain to his mother "mommy, can you tell Percy to be quiet". For some reason - this was the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life. I collapsed on the stairs dying with laughter, holding my mouth to muffle the noise. I found it so hilarious I was crying. I just assumed I was incredibly stoned. I simply could not stop laughing and my stomach was hurting from it.
Percy, Samson (again, not his real name) and I left the house and set off. I collapsed with laughter along the way for a second time. After successfully picking up the shit, we headed to the high street to get some beverages. As I got to the high street I felt an unusual sense of euphoria. Everything about the high street looked beautiful, like it was Heaven or something. Although I wasn't hallucinating yet, things I looked at... felt different.
In the shop we bumped into an old friend Levitacus (...) and I felt so happy to see him. We invited him back to Percy's and he agreed.
That's when the weird shit started happening.
So we get in, proud of the Q we picked up, and smoked up like Gs. As we were passing the bong around I looked out the window, which was open, at the night sky. I could see what looked like hundreds of white bats flying across the sky, and occasionally saw the legendary 'moth-man' too. I distinctly remember thinking the exact words: "something is wrong with the night..."
As my attention turns to the bong I hear a noise. Like a massive bird flying in through the window. I panicked a little. "Did you guys hear that?"
Remember I had no idea there was LSD in my system
I dismissed it as "high thoughts" and carried on chilling. But I could not ignore the fact that something was moving under the bed. Something big. Something aggressive.
I kept on dismissing it, but the more I did, the more aggressive the 'thing' under the bed got. I kept seeing a claw in the corner of my eye - disappearing as soon as I looked directly at it. The claws kept on scratching my feet every time I looked away. "Guys", I said, "seriously there's something under the fucking bed!"
Then Levitacus turned to me and said, "err James, there's something we forgot to tell you", I listen intently, "we kinda... used a ouija board to summon a chupacabra, and it wants to kill you" (I know ouija boards and chupacabras have nothing to do with each other but... this was a bloody acid trip!)
I could not believe it, but it was all too real to me. I remember thinking "Oh my god this is real, this is actually happening" I could hear the growls of the chupacabra under the bed. It tried to rip a hole through the bed to try and eat me. I screamed "OH MY GOD!!" at the top of my lungs "It's a fucking chupacabra!"
I then tackled my fear and thought "No! I have to document this, even if it costs me my life!" so I reached into my bag and grabbed a video camera. Then suddenly all 3 of the others gasped and grabbed me by the arm saying "Don't do it! Don't! It hates electronics man, I'm telling you!" This freaked me out and ensured a temporary 'bad trip'.
Then Percy and Levitacus pointed at Samson and said "Look! It's talking through Samson!" I looked at Samson and he was twitching and rolling from side to side going "Must... kill... James..."
Now I have no idea where I got this idea from but I started rambling: "it lives in Percy's cupboard! It made a hole through the wall and now its under the bed!"
I was jumping from one end of the bed to the other, scared as hell. "What do I do?" I pleaded, to which Percy replied "Dude, you gotta repent to the Chupacabra, otherwise its gonna kill you". I wanted to oblige but I was too scared. I was too scared to look at it, as if looking at it would kill me or something. I was all like "I don't want to look at it, please don't make me look at it!"
While I was freaking out on the acid the munchies kicked in for my mates. They wanted to order a pizza. I was like "How could you be talking about pizza when there's a Chupacabra under the bed?!"
Then Samson used my trip to scam me hard. He said "Hey, if I repent to the Chupacabra on your behalf, will you chip in ?10 for the pizza?" At the time I instantly agreed as 10 quid seemed like a small price to pay for my life.
Samson leaned over and looked under the bed. Samson goes "He says he's sorry!" He then looked up at me and said "He say's its okay!" I felt the 'evil presence' leave the room. I felt so relieved I gave him the tenner. Cheeky bugger.
They ordered a pizza and I tried to relax. I was still shaking and still had no idea the chupacabra was all in my head.
Up until this point, although some crazy shit went on under the bed, I was still fully capable of conversation. Not for long though%u2026
The pizza arrived and I guzzled it down, super-hungry from the munchies and from the relief that I was still alive.
After we finished the pizza I heard Samson laugh. I was like "what's so funny". He goes "Nothing just%u2026 well, did that pizza taste a little%u2026 funny to you?" After giggling for a while, he goes "I put LSD in that pizza"
I went absolutely spare. "What the fuck are you thinking?! Of all the nights to give me LSD you had to do it on the day I had to deal with the fucking chupacabra! Why?" I was so angry at their stupidity, how on Earth was I meant to have a good trip after what just happened, especially for my first time?
Then I realised, hang on - Ouija boards? Chupacabra? LSD? I put two and two together and realised I must have been spiked earlier in the day. Samson revealed that the spliff had LSD on the roach. I was so relieved to hear that I was on an acid trip, that none of what happened was real. But then I realised that I had taken even more of the stuff. I thought to myself "Fuck it! I've always wanted to try LSD, I'm GOING to have a good trip!"
Did not quite go as planned however.
Levitacus left at this point. A couple minutes after finishing the pizza I heard Percy call the name "Ryan". I ignored it, as that is not my name. "Hey Ryan", he said again. I looked up at Percy, he was looking straight at me. "Ryan Mitchell, I am talking to you". "Who the hell is Ryan Mitchell?" I asked. The others laughed at me. "You, you idiot! How fucking high are you that you forgot your name?" I was like 'wtf%u2026' "Guys, my name is James". They laughed at me. "James? Isn't that the name of our dealer?" said Percy. "Yeah" replied Samson, "Why would you want to steal your dealer's name, Ryan?". "For fucks sake!" I exclaimed, "My name is not fucking Ryan! I am James" My friends continued to look at me like some sort of maniac. I spent what felt like two hours arguing that my name wasn't Ryan Mitchell, but they weren't having any of it. I got so fed up I said "Look, either you guys are fucking with me and you're dicks, or I'm imagining all this, either way - you can fuck off". I huffed and leant back against the pillow, fed up after a two hour argument about names.
As I lay there, Samson said "Hey James". I exclaimed - "JAMES! YOU CALLED ME JAMES!!" he looked at me like I was mad. I explained to him, "you guys have been calling me Ryan Mitchell for the past two hours, ever since we ate that pizza, was that a trip?" Samson and Percy exchanged looks. "Dude" he said "we literally JUST ate the pizza". I looked down at the pizza box. I felt it and it was warm. I had imagined a whole two hour long conversation in a matter of seconds. I was amazed at what the human mind was capable of.
Anyway long story short I tripped a couple more times that night. My friends made the creepy 'Aphex Twin smile' at me. Percy grabbed the scissors as if to stab me and said 'try to go to sleep James, try to go sleep'. I replied "look I know this is a trip, so nothing you guys can do can scare me". Percy then went "If you're so sure, then you can close your eyes and go to sleep, after all *glances at the scissors* this isn't real%u2026right?"
Another trip I had was when I pulled my alarm clock out of the bag and Percy said "Dude, why are you touching the bomb? It's two days away that we're gonna blow up parliament". I had another lengthy imaginary conversation about anarchy and politics. That was the weirdest trip of the night%u2026
But honestly to this day I'm not 100% sure what was real and what was not. Samson admitted that the whole 'repenting' thing was real, even though the chupacabra wasn't. However they claim the entire Ryan Mitchell/try to go to sleep/ bomb conversation was in my head. Still don't know what to believe%u2026 I reckon most of it was a trip in my head, but I'm not gonna lie - I bet Samson and Percy had some real influence in them...
Although I was scared for the beginning of the trip - LSD is amazing! Truly life changing stuff, I would like to experience it or shrooms in a different setting, like in a park during a sunny day.
Oh and for one part of the night I kept trying to get my mates attention but they completely ignored me. No matter what I did or said, it was like I temporarily didn't exist. Has anyone out there had anything like this?!