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Methoxymoron

5-MeO-DMT; 24 Aug 2010



This was my first experience with the stuff. I've used n,n,DMT countless times, but had never used 5-MeO-DMT before. Being a Shroomery member, of course I've read numerous accounts of its effects and the descriptions were pretty spot-on.

I set up a dose the size of about three match-heads (don't have a scale) on some aluminum foil beneath a two liter bottle with the bottom cut out. As I held the lighter to the foil the sparkling white powder melted and vaporized quickly, releasing a huge cloud of smoke- so much it began to creep out of the bottom. I quickly unscrewed the top, inhaled deeply, and began to feel the effects immediately as I replaced the top and vaporized another cloud of thick, opaque smoke. I took the other hit and put the bottle aside as my mind was catapulted into an alien land in a familiar territory.

I felt the physical threat consume me- my temperature sky-rocketed and my face turned blood red. I quickly grabbed one of the instant cold-packs that I had purchased earlier, crushed the bulb within to ignite the endothermic reaction, and lied down on my bed with the freezing pack over my face. If not for the cold-pack I'm certain I would have become very ill and the experience would have been wholly unpleasant.

Lying on my bed in complete terror and amazement, the thumping music in my room was destroying me- ripping my mind apart and scattering the pieces. I somehow managed to ask my brother to turn the music off at which point I finally found relief and release. Looking back, I'm certain that at that moment my ego was too firmly attached to my body, and clinging to it desperately with the onset of terror the 5-MeO-DMT had brought about. 

The scramble and the terror of the onset had rocked me, but throughout I kept repeating "Let go; let it take you; this doesn't have to be a struggle," and as I began to peak I was enveloped in an endless expanse of intimate contact with my senses- I whited out; transcending through an ever onward rising column of white light, not unlike being in a tube. The grandeur of the glowing whiteness around me, strewn with vibrant white designs, flowing in and around and through each other like liquid light fixed on surfaces of solid light.

The odd music from the living room was greatly amplified in my mind and its pulsing beat echoed rippled through my body.

Engrossed in the experience, the world around me was a white void of nothingness and of everything; I had become a body of pure energy, pulsating with frigid electricity. All I could do was lie there, enraptured in a euphoria of mind and body- they had become one in the same- everything about me had become one in the same; my senses had become a single sense- and that sense was everything within myself, melded together, flowing as one among many other rivers of pure light, fixed in this realm of infinite illumination. 

I came to retained my senses, but they were not separated and they were not merely sensory input to my brain- they were simply drops of water in the river of pure life-force I had become. Light and energy, white and pale-blue, flowed through me in torrents, sending showers of little drops of glistening light across my surroundings as I moved. Individually, there was nothing left of me- nothing independently functioning; but everything existing within myself had intertwined to function as a single entity of powerfully flowing love and euphoria.

Orgasmic euphoria. Nearly literally so, I believe.

The intensity of the experience slowly faded and for the next couple of hours I was left feeling entirely exhausted and overly stoned. By the two hour point I was back to baseline. I believe the dose I used was probably an overdose and will not soon repeat the experience with that amount. Half that amount would probably be optimal- giving me the intensity of the hyper-space white-out without the initial physical threat and uncontrollable panic which caused the initial tearing of my ego. I have come to prefer experiences in which I can at least somewhat willfully surrender my ego to psychedelia- having it ripped right away from me by force humbled me greatly.


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