I had the most profound experience of my life last night on about 2.6 grams of psilocybe cubensis with two friends of mine in the woods not too far from one friend's house. I felt like typing this up now because I know some details will disappear as time moves on and the memories aren't as fresh, and I feel like sharing this trip with everyone while it's still fresh in my mind.
Since there were three of us and our friend Chuckie has never had mushrooms yet, we gave him about 1.7 grams. Me and my other friend Andrew divided the rest between us, which was about 5.2 grams; so I had about 2.6 grams. We made peanut-butter mushroom sandwiches,(which I thought was funny at the time because that's my name on the shroomery) and ate them on the way to a field not too far from our camping area. As we waited for the effects we smoked a bowl and soon after we began feeling so happy and the trip began.
We sat there on this field/hill in the grass and overlooked all the surrounding hills that reached out to the horizon. Looking in the sky, it was right after sunset. The sky was pink and there were some clouds that were making really beautiful designs. I seen an Indian looking man in the one cloud. It felt as if it was some kind of meaningful thing, but I dind't know what. The surrounding woods were full of noise. We were surrounded by the musical sounds of nature, to which we said, "Nature is a jam band."
At about 9pm, 40 minutes after finishing our sandwiches, we left to walk through the woods to go start the fire, as it was getting dark. Chuckie said he wanted to take the long way back, so he did. Me and Andrew took the shorter way, and right where the field meets the woods there is this old, dead tree. We stopped and examined it and talked about it for a while. How it was just there, and has been there for a long time, just being. No feelings, no thoughts, just there. We talked about it for about 10 minutes, going really deep into the subject, and then remembered, "Oh yeah, the fire!"
And so we began our walk back to the fire area, where we already had sticks and paper ready to be lit. During the time from between walking to the fire, and having it lit for several minutes, we had so many revalations we talked about and went really in-depth with. It was so easy to tap into this part of our brains where we could discuss and express ideas way easier with each other. We were loving the experience much better than me and Andrew's first mushroom trip already.
(I think this is a good time to point out how the lower part of the feild/hill was fenced in for horses. The fence went down right next to where our fire pit is. We camp out here quite often, and never see the horses. Chuckie had told me about a week ago that the horses had been dead for some years. Or at least he thought so. Again, we camp out here often and have never seen them. I'll explain more in a minute.)
By this time it was probably 9:30 or 10, but I'm not sure. Either way, it was pretty dark at this point; the kind of dark where if we looked at the hill, we could clearly see where the ground meets the sky on the horizon. So we're just sitting there talking and I turned around for whatever reason just to look into the fenced in area of the hill and I seen on the horizon two horses standing there. I was blown away. I literally felt like the Double Rainbow Guy. I was just saying, "I think these horses mean something! What do they mean?" It was just amazing because we've never seen them while camping down there before. But of course, the night we eat mushrooms there, we see them. For a little bit I thought they might have been some kind of horse spirits or something; because I was told they were dead. Thus, that's why I thought there was some kind of meaning or message behind seeing them.
After what seemed like revelation after revelation, the peak was coming on. This is the part of the trip where things turned confusing and mind-fucked during my first mushroom trip. I was fine this time. Chuckie had eaten about a gram less than us, and it was his first time; however, was not fine. He wouldn't shut up. He wasn't talking about things like we were earlier. He was saying things that didn't make sense at all and were completely illogical, and annoying; all while crawling on the ground. We would try to calm him down but he would say stuff like, "It's too intense. I like acid better." Once we got him in a chair he would find ways to sit that were so weird. He sat in the chair leaning completely sideways with his head and upper body over the arm of the chair and by the ground. Then he was bugging out about how he had broken the chair, which he didn't. He was having what seemed like a great connection to the chair. He was rubbing it and talking to it like it was some kind of living thing that understood him.
Me and Andrew are big fans of the Grateful Dead, and Chuckie isn't ever really into them. We convinced him to listen to them last night, and he liked them. However at one point he blamed the Grateful Dead music for part of the reason he was bugging out, but later I think he realized it wasn't really the music that caused his episodes.
During the peak I was feeding the fire a lot. We had a big pile of sticks and some logs the were gathered previously for this occassion. Everytime I would walk the 10 feet from the fire to the stick pile, it seemed as if the wood was crawling with life. I seen mushrooms on some of the sticks, and bugs on them, which is probably what made them seem so full of life.
After the peak wore down and a little after 11pm we decided we should go up to the field; something Chuckie had wanted to do for a while and kept mentioning as he was freaking out during the peak. We began the walk to the field, which was amazing. There was such a feeling of freedom and openness as we left the woods and entered the field. We walked to the middle of it and plopped ourselves on the ground, looking out over the hills and into the sky like the beginning of the trip. This was better than earlier though. The sky was beautiful. I could only wish it was full of more stars, but I was happy with the number of stars there were, and can't complain because it was truley beautiful.
We laid on our backs looking up at the unknown, the infinite, mysterious universe. We talked about things on a different "level" like I have never before. We shared ideas and thoughts about existence and being. For quite a while we talked about how we are on this rock (earth) suspended in space, somewhere in the Universe, and how tiny we really are. We talked about how it's so weird that this rock that is just suspended somewhere in the Universe has all these complex systems on it. What we were referring to by systems, was the governments, societys, organizations, buildings, and etc. It was a very interesting discussion. It's amazing how we have all these systems here on earth. We also talked about completely illogical pseudophilosophy ideas, just to take a break from the serious thinking and entertain ourselves. I think at one point I said, "What if we've been lied to, and Earth really is flat?" Now I realized how illogical that was, but it was entertaining. I also mentioned as we looked into the sky that maybe earth is inside-out and we're looking in. Once again, illogical, but interesting and funny.
At some point we smoked a bowl on the hill. We turned on some sphongle and kept the music quiet, as it were there to be in the background and help us elaborate further on our profound conversations. Now we were talking about the systems on this tiny, floating rock we call earth. We discussed how people seem to use society as to make their life easier; because thinking deeply like we were during the time can only get us so far, till we "mind-fuck" ourselves. What we meant by "mind-fuck," was the point where we couldn't discuss existence or the Universe any further, because it would just become a conundrum and put us right back to where we were in the first place.
Anyway, so we talked about how society is like some kind of fall-back for some people. To escape the philosophical thinking that in the end, only gets us so far till we can't possibly explain any deeper because we just literally don't know any more about it.(The Universe, I mean.) We kept referring to mainstream America and society as "regular people," or something like that; because we are different in the way we see and think things through. Instead of trying to find out the secrets of existence and being, they go about their lives working a 9 to 5 job, making money to buy material things to make them happy, and living their lives under strict rules called laws and the government; making them seem like they're in a trap, being blinded. Not seeing some kind of light. But maybe some have and just got brain-fucked and decided they weren't going to figure out any universal secrets and turned to society as an easy way to live, where they don't have to worry about such things.
After we talked about all these things we took the long way back through the woods to get to the tent, where we would change into long pants. As I was in the tent changing Andrew was right outside talking. I said, "I can barely hear you." To which he replied, "It's ok, I'm talking to the horses." He was telling them about our experience on the hill. I wondered if they ever had any experiences on that hill like we did.
The night went on and got more relaxed as the mushrooms' effects started to go away. At about 3 am we finally decided to go to the tent and try to sleep. I sat there with my eyes closed, listening to all the sounds of nature communicate. I could hear two tree frogs talking to each other from different directions. I listened to them and the way they communicated. It was so simple. They wouuld use a simple series of noises consisting of two or three noises at a time, over and over again. I wondered why we humans have such a unique system of communicating, such as many forms of language. Language is a barrier. It can only help us know other minds to an extent. No matter how many words there are, we just simply can't describe exactly what is going on in our minds. I realized there are many forms of communication. One being touch, which I experienced with the horses earlier that night. After a while, I finally drifted off to sleep, hearing nothing but the sounds of nature; followed up by me saying in my mind, "Nature is a jam band."
This was my most profound psychedelic experience yet. I got more out of this trip than any other. Although I've only had eight trips at this point, 6 of the first ones being with acid. I feel like this experience will stick with me for a long time. I'm grateful I had a very profound experience because this is what I use psychedelic entheogens for.