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strippers, poop, puke, and dog shit
I'm now 200 dollars richer
The night started out like many a night. I'd just downed an 1/8th and was having a great time just rolling around on the floor in my room giggling and licking everything as usual. Things were on their way up! It was around 1AM or so and I probably took the mushies at around 12:15. I heard my room mate Ryan come in and heard some female voices but stayed in my room admiring the way the hair on my chest was starting to flow and trickle. I didnt know we would be having guests and I suppose it bothered me for a minute that there would be strangers in the house but that feeling only lasted for a second or two. My roommate flings open the door. He's drunk or getting there and he says: "hey, ----- what are you doing." I look at him and giggle flicking my legs around. He says- oh my god your tripping. I nod and laugh a little. He turns to female voices. Leaves the room for a minute. I can hear whispers but don't particularly care what's being said. He swings back in the room and says hey ----- I gotta suprise for you. In walk these two strippers one is a skinny white girl named angel and the other a black girl with tiny breasts but a ghetto booty named Alizaay. Now Im a naturally shy person when I first meet people so when these two girls walk in I grab my comforter throw it over my head and giggle and laugh and poke my head out from under the sheets. HEEEEEY TRIIPPIN BOOOOYYYY says Alizay. Uhhhh Hi? I say . Ryan breaks in through my giggles and says I met these two down at the triangle (local strip club) and we just got back from dinner. I'm still quite shy at this point. OOOKAAAAAY I say kicking my legs in the air. I know I probably look silly but Im tripping so all behavior is chaulked up to that. Hey trippin boy says Angel lie on your back RIGHT NOW!. Oh god I think, what the fuck is going on. Shes angry at me about something what did I do? I dont know this girl why is she angry what the fuck!. What did I do? I say. I lie on my back out of fear praying shes not going to hit me. I look at her lips- smiling- look at her eyes- smiling. I am not in trouble. I have done nothing wrong. She climbs on top of me and starts doing the stripper thing grinding me and rubbin me. My room mate is laughing his ass off in the background. The other stripper is laughing, things are ok, I'm ok, I dont register what is happening exactly but I know the mood is good. The girl is attempting to be aluring, stripper esque, sexual, which is hard to do when the person your grinding is laughing hysterically in your face. She tried. I will give her that, to give me a propper lap dance, but in the end, for her I guess, lap dances were supposed to be serious. She looks back and says something like this boy's crazy. Gets up and goes over to the other two. Ryan says alright man, you have fun were gonna go chill in my room.
Ryan's room.
Im crawling along the hallway with a camera in my hand it takes me forever to get there because I am very very interested in the wood floors. I love taking pictures while tripping then looking at that pixilated goodness after. I am stealth. I am a spy. I am going to take pictures of whatever is going on in that room. The effects of the mushrooms are growing, it is impossible to keep my mind on the mission. I finally get to the room and the strippers and Ryan are sitting on the bed. The notice me instantly. I'm staring at them. They are talking to me Im sure they are. Their mouths are moving but I cant really comprehend much of anything. Im staring mouth agape. Snapping back I hear, come in here!. OOOOOKKKKKK I say. For I walk in taking pictures of things and them and giggling and laughing and for the next half hour I cant remember a goddamn thing. The next part I can tell you only from talking to ryan. I rolled around on the floor and laughed alot the strippers loved me apparently. Liked the giggling. I took a movie somewhere in there where ryan is giving them both back massages. Then it cuts to me a little later Alizay is humping me in her stripper outfit doing amazing stripper tricks Im clapping. She says do you have a BONEY NOW? NO! I say. When Im tripping hard for some reason my dick literally ceases to function. I get very serious. OH MY GOD- I scream. THERE"S A BULL!. THERES A BULL AAAHHH!. The strippers G string looks like a Pink headed Bull gathering towards me. The stippers make some kind of vow or something to get me an erection but Im gone. Out in space. All Im interested in is hair and color and that bull in front of me. The other stripper leans in and starts making out with Alazay I could care less. I am completely focused on the tornado sequins on Alazays bra. The strippers notice I'm not paying attention. Alazay says "Trippin Boy! You ever seen a pussy breath? I dont know what shes talking about, what a pussy is, or how it could breath but Im sure my answer should be no. She flips over grabs my hair smashes the bulls head to the side and I'm looking at this hairless vagina that is circulating air into my face its rippling out onto her thighs with each breath. And then at this totally beautiful moment I feel very very ill.
The bathroom
In the bathroom I'm confused. I have the feeling that when you get sick you need to do it in something. That is where puke goes. I get down next to the toilet and while Im sitting there waiting for something to happen I hear my stomach growl and know that I am about to have some serious diarrhea shits. I get up sit on the toilet but Im still totally nauseated. The puke comes first but I cant puke on my lap. Puke goes somewhere. I get off the toilet and lean down puking violently into the tub. As I am puking my anal sphincter muscles give out. Between gags and spits I notice that for some reason my puke is red (I'd been drinking red Cool Aid all evening) but to me red meant blood. I scream loudly at the thought that I may be bleeding internally. I am screaming, crying and then the thought occurs to me that the blood should not be out of my body, it should be in my body. I start scooping this red mass in front of me. That twirling gelatinous mass. And begin to try to eat it. Now I dont know youve ever tried to consume your own vomit but let me tell you. It doesnt work. Ever. vomit gives way to more vomit. Ryan has heard my scream of horror and come running. The strippers followed. I am just a vision half of me in the tub scooping, attempting to eat, expelling more, vomit. My unclothed butt shoots out untold amounts of diarrhea. This is what my room mates and the strippers see when the walk into the already open doorway. I look at them and scream IM BLEEDING IVE GOT TO PUT IT BACK!. Ryan breaks free from the shock first. He says some things which I dont really recall and throws me in the shower. Turns it on and leaves. Everything is being washed. My cool aid blood flows down the drain and things are beautiful again. I puke once in a while but it's really pretty and I feel good. I feel better and better. God bless trippin showers. I start to come down a little. Start to get my bearings. Ryan checks in on me. Im doing lovely. Beauty everywhere la la la. Ryan guides me through cleaning up. Commands work well with me for some reason. I throw some clothes on. I feel bad, that I have ruined the mood that I have ruined the evening. I cant imagine how difficult it was to get those strippers to stay but through some manipulation beyond my comprehension they did.
The garage
There was a warmth in those strippers and I was happy again. They didnt shun me for being a multi orifice excretory and vomit eater. They felt sorry for me for some reason. I was sitting down and Ryan was scolding the dog for shitting in the house (there was a lot of that going on) He had rubbed the dogs nose in his own shit (a practice I don't condone but have to deal with) . Now the licking. I lick fucking everything when I trip. I like to know the flavor of metal. The flavor of a lamp etc. The strippers comment on this and I dont really care that much because fuck it I want to know what things taste like. Alazay says- hey trippin boy. I will give you two hundred dollars if you lick the shit off of that dogs nose. I look at the dog. It looks sad. I want to make the dog happy I want to make him feel good about himself after being shamed by my room mate. Ryan pipes in- No. Dude dont do it. Dont do it. Just please. Youve done enough crazy shit tonight. The strippers smiling say two hundred dollars. I like smiles and happiness and Ryan seemed something shy of happy. I lean down and take a big long lick on the dogs nose. They dog seems happier. I look up. The strippers are jumping around squealing with a look of delight and disgust. I look at Ryan who is halfway across the yard fist over his mouth saying Oh my god Oh my God what the fuck. But a smile all around. My past transgressions have been lifted. I am ok. People are happy about the world. They share my feeling. Then there is the taste. Just a taste. Not good, not bad just a taste. I swallow. Angel starts saying- YOU BETTER PAY THAT MAN. Alazay opens her purse counts the stripper money in her hand and slaps it into mine. I do not appreciate the gravity of the situation but I know that things are good and thats all I really care about.
The night winds down
I dont know if these were just the craziest strippers on the planet or what but they stayed even after that. My room mate ending up having sex with angel while Alazay and I hung out in the living room. We talked about her dreams and what she really wanted to be doing with her life besides stripping and it was honest and it was open and fantastic. I knew that I would never get with Alazay after that evening but I asked if she wanted to cuddle and she said sure. We all fell asleep satisfied, amazed, content, and complete. That is that.
Ryan's room.
Im crawling along the hallway with a camera in my hand it takes me forever to get there because I am very very interested in the wood floors. I love taking pictures while tripping then looking at that pixilated goodness after. I am stealth. I am a spy. I am going to take pictures of whatever is going on in that room. The effects of the mushrooms are growing, it is impossible to keep my mind on the mission. I finally get to the room and the strippers and Ryan are sitting on the bed. The notice me instantly. I'm staring at them. They are talking to me Im sure they are. Their mouths are moving but I cant really comprehend much of anything. Im staring mouth agape. Snapping back I hear, come in here!. OOOOOKKKKKK I say. For I walk in taking pictures of things and them and giggling and laughing and for the next half hour I cant remember a goddamn thing. The next part I can tell you only from talking to ryan. I rolled around on the floor and laughed alot the strippers loved me apparently. Liked the giggling. I took a movie somewhere in there where ryan is giving them both back massages. Then it cuts to me a little later Alizay is humping me in her stripper outfit doing amazing stripper tricks Im clapping. She says do you have a BONEY NOW? NO! I say. When Im tripping hard for some reason my dick literally ceases to function. I get very serious. OH MY GOD- I scream. THERE"S A BULL!. THERES A BULL AAAHHH!. The strippers G string looks like a Pink headed Bull gathering towards me. The stippers make some kind of vow or something to get me an erection but Im gone. Out in space. All Im interested in is hair and color and that bull in front of me. The other stripper leans in and starts making out with Alazay I could care less. I am completely focused on the tornado sequins on Alazays bra. The strippers notice I'm not paying attention. Alazay says "Trippin Boy! You ever seen a pussy breath? I dont know what shes talking about, what a pussy is, or how it could breath but Im sure my answer should be no. She flips over grabs my hair smashes the bulls head to the side and I'm looking at this hairless vagina that is circulating air into my face its rippling out onto her thighs with each breath. And then at this totally beautiful moment I feel very very ill.
The bathroom
In the bathroom I'm confused. I have the feeling that when you get sick you need to do it in something. That is where puke goes. I get down next to the toilet and while Im sitting there waiting for something to happen I hear my stomach growl and know that I am about to have some serious diarrhea shits. I get up sit on the toilet but Im still totally nauseated. The puke comes first but I cant puke on my lap. Puke goes somewhere. I get off the toilet and lean down puking violently into the tub. As I am puking my anal sphincter muscles give out. Between gags and spits I notice that for some reason my puke is red (I'd been drinking red Cool Aid all evening) but to me red meant blood. I scream loudly at the thought that I may be bleeding internally. I am screaming, crying and then the thought occurs to me that the blood should not be out of my body, it should be in my body. I start scooping this red mass in front of me. That twirling gelatinous mass. And begin to try to eat it. Now I dont know youve ever tried to consume your own vomit but let me tell you. It doesnt work. Ever. vomit gives way to more vomit. Ryan has heard my scream of horror and come running. The strippers followed. I am just a vision half of me in the tub scooping, attempting to eat, expelling more, vomit. My unclothed butt shoots out untold amounts of diarrhea. This is what my room mates and the strippers see when the walk into the already open doorway. I look at them and scream IM BLEEDING IVE GOT TO PUT IT BACK!. Ryan breaks free from the shock first. He says some things which I dont really recall and throws me in the shower. Turns it on and leaves. Everything is being washed. My cool aid blood flows down the drain and things are beautiful again. I puke once in a while but it's really pretty and I feel good. I feel better and better. God bless trippin showers. I start to come down a little. Start to get my bearings. Ryan checks in on me. Im doing lovely. Beauty everywhere la la la. Ryan guides me through cleaning up. Commands work well with me for some reason. I throw some clothes on. I feel bad, that I have ruined the mood that I have ruined the evening. I cant imagine how difficult it was to get those strippers to stay but through some manipulation beyond my comprehension they did.
The garage
There was a warmth in those strippers and I was happy again. They didnt shun me for being a multi orifice excretory and vomit eater. They felt sorry for me for some reason. I was sitting down and Ryan was scolding the dog for shitting in the house (there was a lot of that going on) He had rubbed the dogs nose in his own shit (a practice I don't condone but have to deal with) . Now the licking. I lick fucking everything when I trip. I like to know the flavor of metal. The flavor of a lamp etc. The strippers comment on this and I dont really care that much because fuck it I want to know what things taste like. Alazay says- hey trippin boy. I will give you two hundred dollars if you lick the shit off of that dogs nose. I look at the dog. It looks sad. I want to make the dog happy I want to make him feel good about himself after being shamed by my room mate. Ryan pipes in- No. Dude dont do it. Dont do it. Just please. Youve done enough crazy shit tonight. The strippers smiling say two hundred dollars. I like smiles and happiness and Ryan seemed something shy of happy. I lean down and take a big long lick on the dogs nose. They dog seems happier. I look up. The strippers are jumping around squealing with a look of delight and disgust. I look at Ryan who is halfway across the yard fist over his mouth saying Oh my god Oh my God what the fuck. But a smile all around. My past transgressions have been lifted. I am ok. People are happy about the world. They share my feeling. Then there is the taste. Just a taste. Not good, not bad just a taste. I swallow. Angel starts saying- YOU BETTER PAY THAT MAN. Alazay opens her purse counts the stripper money in her hand and slaps it into mine. I do not appreciate the gravity of the situation but I know that things are good and thats all I really care about.
The night winds down
I dont know if these were just the craziest strippers on the planet or what but they stayed even after that. My room mate ending up having sex with angel while Alazay and I hung out in the living room. We talked about her dreams and what she really wanted to be doing with her life besides stripping and it was honest and it was open and fantastic. I knew that I would never get with Alazay after that evening but I asked if she wanted to cuddle and she said sure. We all fell asleep satisfied, amazed, content, and complete. That is that.
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