After weeks of attempts by my friend to share DMT with me it finally happened last night.
It was a bold glimpse at the power and potential of the drug; however, I found myself pulled out of my travel prematurely as a result of an inconsiderate "let's get fucked up" type sitter.
I'm a bit of an elitist prick when it comes to psychedelics, I have my rituals, prefer to be isolated, and usually avoid using them casually. My friend on the other hand is more of the recreational type and as a result I found myself compromising my usual procedure to break through. Furthermore, he was providing the substance for free as a gift so I was even more required to do things his way.
Despite my desire to go at it alone, he insisted on staying by my side "to guide me through." So he and my girlfriend are by my side. I'm sitting cross legged supported by a small tree with my girlfriends hand in mine and my buddy to the other side of me.
I went at it much in the fashion of Terence Mckenna... the first toke "loooooong and hard" holding for as long as I could then followed directly with another long and hard hit. While holding this second hit I began to heavily hallucinate. I exhaled and had a quick giggle at the moving tree line and surrounding vegetation that seemed to crawl with energy before taking a third toke to really get me through.
After the third inhalation, my eyes closed and my head dropped. I had the sensation of traveling to a physical place within my own mental existence. With eyes closed I could see my face lined vertically with ribbons of yellow , red and purple with dripping white dots. My breathing was heavy and deep with an occasional quick patter. My breathing and the hand within my own left hand were slowly dissolving as my ability to perceive the actual physical world diminished.
I was sinking further into the trip when my friend had to ruin it. He began talking across me to my girlfriend, "He is totally wrecked right now" and he then he proceeded to go into lecture mode about the effects with my girlfriend. Their words and language brought me out of my internal expanse and snapped me back to reality. I tried to go back but the conversation was too distracting and like timid sea creatures the place seemed to amusingly hide itself.
I tried some friendly "shhhh's" but it was to no avail, my friend loves to talk about himself and just can't shut the fuck up. I had a feeling before hand he wouldn't stay silent like I asked so i gave up and opened my eyes to experience the extra voluminous trees with wonderful fractal masses of leaves. I tried to enjoy myself as much as possible while my buddy continued to ramble on about himself. Eventually he convinced me to go inside.
It really takes an inconsiderate asshole to not let somebody just sit there in peace for 10-15 minutes. I'm inside, still lightly tripping and this guy won't even listen to me attempt to explain what I saw or what I am seeing. My attempts to verbalize the world around me are interrupted with story after story of his "more epic" "most fucked up" stories. It was a real drag having to entertain my friend's ridiculous ego while I'm still tripping. I've eaten large amounts of mushrooms and found myself entertaining him in a similar fashion, even my head nods get interrupted. He meant no harm, and was likely just excited that the absurdity of his stories would be more understood having been newly "experienced."
While I'm still pretty loopy, my girlfriend goes outside to give it a shot. She took it in the same fashion. Long and hard so into it that you are unaware you are even smoking it.
She closed her eyes and I watched her upper body teeter a bit while she made a range of faces from intense concentration to that of smiling. My buddy once again tries to start up conversation, but I gesture to stop and keep things silent for her. After doing her thing and a bit of drooling she breaks out on her own, speaking amongst attempts to restrict her own laughter laughter, "how much time has passed." It couldn't have been 5 minutes, I told her "not long" and she laughs and eventually we go back inside to entertain my friend's stories.
I had a great time, and I was grateful that my friend wanted to share a profound experience with me, but his own inability to let me experience it fully as an individual kept the trip at a level that I could only describe as like watching the same t.v. movie for the 100th time. It's a good enjoyable movie, but I've seen it enough and I know how to change the channel by myself. The visuals were spectacular and the experience was enjoyable but I was abruptly pulled out of the water by my ankles when my friend began speaking and I became more a matter of his amusement than an autonomous explorer.
As frustrated as I am, I knew my friends borderline disrespect was a possibility. I knew I might not be able to get as far under the circumstances but I thought it was still a good opportunity to become more familiar with the drug so that I can with the utmost confidence blast off a large dose with nothing but the elves to explain myself to.
I will be more stubborn as to my preferred method of total isolation and silence the next time.