I took first 3 gram of dried Psilocybe Cubensis(unknown strain) at 19:20 and another 3 gram at 21:20. I took two
doses becouse at first I didnt mean to took that much but as all my previous mushroom times had been
around 2 to 3 grams, I got curios what more higher dose would be like. First it was pretty basic,
with all visuals and that. Around 22:00 it started to come on strong. I decided that it was time
to explore worlds inside my head. It turned out it was not that simple.
I live in urban enviroment and there is some backround noise. I didn't think it would been
that big of a problem, but I didnt count on that when tripping high your senses are really cranked up.
However after some adjustment to setting I was ready to go. I turned off lights and my computer
wich generated big humming sound, digged up my mp3 player and putted only one song in it,
relax with nature vol. 6 Forest Raindrops. I always have liked the rain and it was also efficient
for blocking outside world. I should have putted more tracks in it becouse the rain started
to annoy me at some point and it was way too big operation to turn computer back on and copy more tracks into it.
Mostly I liked the rain however and it didnt distract me from my path too much.
I covered my eyes with dark piece of cloth and keeped it loose enough so i could keep my eyes open under it.
I noticed that at the peak it was very difficult to close your eyes for longer time than a blink.
Closing eyes also made visions more blurry and chaotic. Eyes open it was much better as long as eyesight
was completely blocked.
First there was big colourful visuals that moved and changed shape. Many of them reminded me of nature
and textures that exist in nature. I watched colours for a while and wanted to move on. I had read
from other peoples experiences that there was much more behind these colours and I really wanted to
see what was in store for me. It was very difficult to go past the colours and lights and I was beginning to get
very frustrated. It was very difficult to focus my mind on anything, but I remembered very easy
meditation technique that I could try, despite that I have never mediated before. I focused on breathing,
lying down, and always when my mind started to wonder i focused more in to breathing and being still.
It worked beatifully and chaos was gone. I was floating in a raft through magical mushroom forest.
Beatiful giant mushrooms was everywhere and sound of nature was relaxing and beatiful.
I was really relaxed and felt at peace. After some time there I decided to let go of the control and see more.
Almost immediately, thoughts, visions and chaos were blasting its way into my mind.
It wasnt scary but I startled and as a reflex I focused again on breathing more and went back to the forest.
I didnt stay long however and gave it a another try. After letting go again, colours started to form skulls and
skeleton-like people that reminded me of me very much of mexican day of the dead celebration. I moved in
and out of the forest and saw many places and visions. Most of them were too hard to describe or too chaotic.
It was the first time so deep down there and I was so excited of everything that I wouldn't focus on anything for a very long time.
At some point I started to analyze myself and my life, but couldnt find any real issues that was worth
pondering. It seemed pointless. I tought that maybe some other time and moved back to exploring.
I needed to use the bathroom and lifted the cloth that was covering my eyes. Then the time froze.
It was like looking a photograph or painting, I thinked to myself that this must be what world looks like
through eyes of great artists or mentally ill. After a while time started running again and
I could go to the bathroom.
Several times I felt like an explorer that was writing a story. Some point I was in a jungle at some sort
of camp with several tents. It was raining really heavy and I was cursing the rain as I writed the story down
with an old typewriter. I noticed that I was telling the story in my head in english, even that my native
language is finnish. I think it helped me to build a gap over the real world and the mushroom world.
There was many other small invidual things that happened. At some point I was looking at a digital clock
next to my bed and it started talking to me. Not in sounds but the digital display jumped up and down like
it was sending a morse code. I didn't understand but listened to it for a while anyway. Many things that
I saw in the dark aparment reminded me of art and I wished to watch some paintings and photography
of different artists but I didnt have any art books and I didnt want to turn the computer back on.
Around 01:00 it started to come down and I felt exhausted. Experience was almost too intesive and there was
so much in it. I was completely drained and decided that I should probably wait for a while before doing another
high dose trip again.
For the next time I need to prepare the setting better. Clean the apartment better and put
away all uninteresting things. I think also better cover for eyes would be good. I Need to buy some art books at
some point. I also need to load my mp3 player full of music and ambient that I might like when