Return to Field of Dreams

Names and places will be disguised for security purposes ;D

Warning: Language filth

12/14/09

It was a Monday work shift and a relatively easy one at that 4pm-9pm. Prior to this I had a discussion with my friend Bob about getting messed up on some type of illegal substance. We had come to the conclusion of psychedelic mushrooms and he knew just the guy. It was sometime after 9pm when I called him, but the guy he knew wasn't as reliable as thought, so he asked if I wanted to hit a field that we had hit many times before hand. I gladly obliged and told him to pick me up when I had some hot food in my stomach. I called him when I was ready and he stopped by a bit later. At first we had a hard time finding the spot, but after awhile we started to recall the buildings and scenery and found our way back to The Rabbit Hole. On the way down the road we passed by a car and even though it is a road people travel down often we thought that car came from The Rabbit Hole with our bag full of merriment. We arrived at The Shack and for some reason this night it looked quite dreadful. I was paranoid about leaving the car in such an open spot behind The Shack so Bob improvised and parked it in the graveyard. Which made us all the more paranoid. We started off in Nigwood by Trailernig. I couldn't seem to find anything, but shrooms that had already been tipped over which gave me the feeling that we were a little too late. After scouting Nigwood I came out empty handed, but Bob found one flourished cap. Outside Nigwood most of the fields were transformed into swamps and for us they were cock blocking our shrooms, so we hopped a near by fence and made our way around. We checked the main field into The Rabbit Hole and came up shroomless. Hope was at an end. We had 3 shrooms in the bag. One was beautiful, one had white gills which we kept because we were desperate and made ourselves believe it was good, and the last one was ugly and uneatable even for the most hardcore shroomer. We actually named it **** ****** it was so ugly. Depression started to rise as we walked back to Bob's car and then suddenly an inspiring sight. Another fully flourished mushroom was at our feet. I told him we should stop being pussies and check the entire field and that we did. After it was all said and done we had at least a half an ounce of shrooms ( we threw out the useless ones.) All were grown in their maturity except for 3 tiny ones that Bob had spotted, but you could tell they were potent by the coloring of their gills. But we did not get out pure. Needless to say I was covered in a mixture of cow shit and mud from my shins to my heels and the stench carried with it. As we walked back to Bob's car I flung out his knife weary of ThatTown boys to strike at any moment, but then we reassured ourselves of the reality that ThatTown boys are completely afraid of fighting and are probably reading high class books at Books-A-Million while drinking five dollar coffees and feeling cozy in their Hollister clothing. When we got to the trunk of his car I didn't notice that I never closed his switchblade and just put it in my pocket, but for good reason. I had fucked it up and the button flew off somewhere. Probably from my paranoid act of ThatTown boys trying to take our harvest. Bob was not upset in the least though. He put the shrooms in the trunk of his car, but we were going to sort them out so I went and got them. When I looked in the trunk of his car it looked like a full blown murder scene with an open knife on a towel. Before we left the car I was worried we might get stuck from the rain, but he said if it did we would just push it out. He's never worried about anything. But we didn't get stuck anyway. Righteous, I thought. We started making our way back and decided to get some drinks to wash down the shrooms with. We went to a gas station near by which was said to be 24/7 on the window, but when Bob went to open the door it was locked. He spit on it in disgust and we left. We instead went to Gas Station #2 where I saw him jack something out of the corner of my eye which I was worried the ladies working there would see while they talked about the fruit cups they were stacking. I got a Mug Root Beer and I don't recall what Bob got but a beverage none the less. The lady that rung us up was very eager to make conversation with us. Which I found ironic because she had maybe four teeth in her skull. Which made me believe she saw Bob's act of illegality. Bob got rung up first and he waited inside the store for me which also made me believe that we were going to haul balls. Leave it to Bob to run for a candy bar or a bag of potato chips I thought. But I guess they didn't have a security system or something. Anyway, we get in Bob's car and it turns out he took a white chocolate Hershey's bar. It was king size which he made him glad. We started back from Gas Station #2 and I asked Bob for a light so I could prepare our meal from the bag of triumph. Leave it to us to turn a car light on while going down a road at night time eating a bag full of mushrooms I thought. I wondered how we should eat them since I was having a hard time counting with all of them intertwined. So I would get two mushrooms that were near identical and we would both eat one. I never had mushrooms that were a wetness of this magnitude and neither did Bob from the looks he made as we gobbled them up. We weren't even tripping yet, but I laughed like we were because of how harsh it was to eat them. He had the idea to use his candy bar in the mix which helped him. We had eaten three to four mushrooms in and I was getting full and Bob hoped this agonizing feast was near over. Two or so more to go and we had finished. Nothing but tiny pieces of former shrooms remained at the bottom of the bag and neither of us had any desire to eat them. I told him we could go to my house but dad was there and the last thing I wanted was my dad up our asses while we tripped on mushrooms in the storage building, so we went to Bob's river house. Which was a very homey place, good to trip at. We entered and a strange, erry noise was coming from the stereo system... country music. Bob said it just randomly turned on. Twas odd. I sat down on his couch and was observing the Johnny Cash picture in front of me waiting for something trippy to happen, but nothing yet. We went into kitchen area for a moment then back to the living room. He turned on the television and cops was on. He didn't think it was the best thing to watch, so he switched the channel to the weather station. We went back into the kitchen I believe, then the living room again. And at some point in time I could feel it, the mushrooms had karate chopped my brain and I was tripping. The weather channel brought up a live recording of the causeway. Then Bob was amped up about watching a live feeding of the causeway on the computer and I responded with a why and then he wasn't quite sure and said that I was right and it was a stupid idea. Which we had a good laugh about for a WHILE. From this point I'm not sure how accordingly the events went... just that they happened. But I'll try to document them the best I can. I couldn't seem to sit still at this point. Everything was all in rainbow and moving wave fashion. I told him to remember the time 2:54 which was when I realized the trip had set in. I thought there was some guy in Bob's river house and I told him and he said “You saw some guy in the house?” And I responded “Yes, well not really, but I did see him, but well he was in my head, but I thought he was there and I was about to kick his ass.” “Yeah, your thoughts don't have a right to come out of your head” “Yeah, fuck him.” After that for a long while we were mesmerized by the floor and it's abstract features. Sometimes the floor was like a blue board of chess. Each square of blue had it's own pattern of something going on. At other times the whole floor was a moving squiggle within a spiral. Eventually, we went in the kitchen because Bob wanted to check out what was going on in this live training room feed. I didn't realize until later that it was three something in the morning and our bitching about they're lazy work ethnic was meaningless because they were most likely asleep. We went back into the living room and he got a toy crocodile and started jabbing it in my face to try to trip me out, but he had more fun with it than I did by the way he was jousting. I pointed out this statue that resembled an African American witch doctor in the corner by the television. I told him it was creeping me out and he said it creeped him out even when he was sober, so he put it somewhere behind the couch. A good while later he showed me this pink rabbit with a huge penis on the stereo system. The designer of the toy was really trying to make a point because the penis was the size of everything else on it. I held it for a moment and put it back on the stereo system. But as I sat on the couch I felt as if the penis was getting closer and closer and trying to poke my eye out. So I told Bob to put it with the statue, which he did. We listened to techno. First Innocent Game ( club mix) by Felixx, then Ballanation by No. 4 RMX. Bob turned the lights off to set the mood. To my ears it was like starring up at a full blown moon with stars crowding outer space and nebulas as far as the eye can see hovering behind the stars. If that makes any sense at all to anyone who isn't me. After awhile we came back to our senses...somewhat. Bob had the idea to go riding in his golf cart. Which I thought was a terrible idea. We got in the golf cart and I was worried we would wake up the neighbors and wondered who actually road around in a golf cart at 3 something in the morning. He couldn't find the switch to turn it on at first, but out of no where we started backing up and went wayward. Even though we couldn't have been going over 15 MPH, it was quite the adrenaline rush. As we drove I saw little lines making an aura in our path. It reminded me of the lines they use in cartoons when some action part is happening. On our way we saw two electric raindeer and couldn't help but laugh. Bob went down some road that had a bunch of houses and one house turned it's back door light on and we thought it best to end our little adventure. We returned to the house and I pointed out that he's the adventurous type that just doesn't give a fuck and I on the other hand do give a fuck and want to make sure that everything goes in our favor. For some reason I called him Crocodile Dundee for being so out going and I don't even know if Crocodile Dundee is out going to begin with. We went back into the living room sometime later and in a very hilarious way that is indescribable in words he held up the witch doctor statue with his eyes closed, turned away, arms fully straight out in kamehameha form pointing it at me. Which is quite possibly the funniest thing to ever happen. We went back into the kitchen and Bob was intent on getting caffeine in his system. He vigorously spoke while he walked with swift movements about how he needed coffee, so he wouldn't be tired. But I guess it was just the brink of his idea that excited him. He was tripping hard and couldn't remember how to make coffee and I have never had to make coffee, so I didn't know either. He started shouting “Shit! Fuck!” Or something, so I instinctively unplugged the coffee maker because I thought it was going to explode or start a fire. After throwing away the coffee and coffee filter a minute later he declared he remembered how to make coffee. I kept starring at this ashtray in the center of the kitchen table imagining two silhouettes smoking cigarettes. And right then and there I was ready to pick up my worst habit after eight or nine days of quitting. Awhile earlier I told him we should just go get in the spaceship ( car) for different scenery though I enjoyed the vibe that was going on in the house. But now I wanted cigarettes, but then I changed my mind again that it was a really bad idea to drive. Bob said he was fully capable of driving though, so eventually we left. But before we left I told him we shouldn't because we couldn't watch the coffee maker because I don't know how coffee makers work. After about four or five times of reassuring me that the coffee maker wasn't going to burn the house down we left to get the cigarettes. While we were driving I couldn't seem to find the road, but nothing seemed bumpy so we were good. About half way there Bob shouts “WE DIDN'T TURN THE COFFEE MAKER OFF!” and I reply “ OH SHIT! TURN AROUND! SHIT!” and then I realized he was just fucking with me and he said “Calm down, calm down. I was just fucking with you because you were worried about the coffee.” Sometime later and not knowing how, we arrived at a gas station. I asked him where the fuck are we and he told me it was some place near by. I kept trying not to laugh, so I could go buy some smokes, but everything we said was hilarious. After a couple minutes of not getting out of the car I started getting worried. And some lady stuck her head out the window which worried me further. So I told him we should go to a gas station far away where no one knew us. So we did. Everything was going great until about this time. Bob was on E about to run out of gas and he told me he had been on E all day and my parents called me. My dad left me a voicemail wondering where I was because I had to be at work in 3 hours. Which made my trip change dramatically. I started getting worried that we wouldn't make it to the gas station, much less work. You would think right about now a cigarette would be great, but now I didn't even want one. Which was good. But we got to the gas station and I asked Bob for help at the pump because I couldn't do it alone. We put in five dollars because that's all he said he would need. I almost got back in the car when I forgot about the receipt part. I went back and the machine said “ Would you like a receipt?” I pushed “No.” And it said “One Moment Please... Thank You! Come Again.” And I thought to myself why would it tell me to wait and waste my time when I didn't want a receipt? After that I got in the car and we headed back. When we got back to the river house Bob was making us some coffee. I told him that I had to take a shit so lets not talk while I'm in the bathroom ( which is right beside the kitchen.) He asked “Why?” And I told him it would be weird if I talked to you through a wall and he agreed, but we ended up talking anyway. From this point on we referred coffee to joe. I put four cups of sugar in my coffee and he thought that was quite alot wondering if I was going to drink that. I assured him I wouldn't fuck with his sugar like that. It was around five in the morning by now and I started contemplating how I was going to get to work. Because time was not something I could cope with right now. From then we just started talking about personal things. The introspective part of the trip. In the end it turned out like any other shroom trip. Starts off good times, shits and giggles, and ends with the meaning of life, what tole it has taken on you, the revelation you play, and what you should do to fix and make things better. I asked him if throwing up was an option to help with my pupil dilation and he said by the time we get to my house your pupils will still be big. But I did anyway, just to see if it would help. After talking for awhile again we lost track of time and by then it was time for me to head home. As we were driving to my house I checked my pupils again, still as big as craters. But then I realized why should I even care. Life is too short to worry about things that won't even matter in the long run of the scheme. About then we pulled up in my drive way. And with a parting by the pounding of the fists we went our separate ways.