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My first psychedelic trip and ego loss experience

Salvia Divinorum

Hello everyone, this is Arvind. I am new to shroomery and would like to begin my first post by sharing a very strange trip i had experienced on salvia a couple of weeks back. 

Recently, one evening, I went to an acquaintance's house whom I had met through a common friend. This acquaintance, who is now a monk in a Hindu temple, was deeply into psychedelics, eastern mysticism and had a lot of "far off" theories, whereas I have a more scientific, conservative approach to life. We decided to trip together and log our journeys in the hope that our opposite backgrounds would complement our analysis of our trips effectively.

I had never done anything except pot, one light dose of shrooms and MDMA a few times before. So when my friend offered me some salvia, I gladly accepted it. My friend put on some trance-like dijeridoo music while we sat on the floor and smoked a bowl of weed, following it up with a bowl of salvia using a vape. A minute after the hit I felt a wave going through my body, and I felt my body relax. And then suddenly me and my friend started meditating. This was very strange as I had no intention of meditating prior to smoking it, but once I did, it almost seemed instinctive. Within a moment my consciousness had shifted to a different form. I opened my eyes and saw myself and my friend as, believe it or not, in the form of hermits. We were in an ancient snow covered cave with a fire place in between us. My friend was a very old hermit with a flawlessly-white flowing beard. I had a feeling of being a very ancient and powerful sage, yet my body was relatively younger than my friend's( I guess I would be around 60 yrs). There was also a feeling of a feminine presence behind me, although I did not turn back to check who it was(my friend said that I was experiencing the feminine spirit of the salvia). As strange as all this was, the weirdest thing was this: Right in front of me, on a part of the cave wall was a hole. And through the hole, I could see my life! (the 23 year old Arvind's). Myself as a baby, myself walking on the street, myself talking and so on.
It felt as if the "elder saintly" hermit was conjuring up my life in his imagination and projecting it on the cave wall. I(the hermit) remember giving some advise to my friend regarding his spiritual methods being too conservative(which he said was a great insight into his mind as he developed his techniques only by reading books, etc and not by experimenting meditatively). I(the hermit) also remarked mischievously how I(the actual me) was unaware of his true powerful nature, but went through life facing a lot of hardships in an ignorant state. The hermit knew that he could grant me great powers if he so wished, but he also said that I had to cross many hurdles on my own. During my come-down I could see a great series of blue dots forming a series of squares if they were connected, imprinted on a black background. My friend remarked that he could see a great light through my third eye(Knowing him, I guess he was more likely tripping balls, but his comment co-incided very well with my vision)

After a while I came down a bit into my normal self, and my friend offered me some more salvia. He said he had taken enough, but I felt like I could handle it and toked another bowl from the vape. The most insane thing in my life happened. Reality shattered. Not just break apart, but the very fabric of 3 dimensional space-time was ripped, propelling me into a multi-dimensional reality. I saw the room I was in, and it was solid and at the same time, was full of many squares. I guess this would how bees would see the world. Each of these squares was a replica of the room I was in, and in turn was further broken up into further squares. In effect, the universe had broken into a fractal form. I could focus and go into these squares and after going into these series of squares further and further, I lost track of my original frame of reference. I had no feeling of my body, only a vague realization that my world had shattered. There was a slight anxiety in me that I might return to my "original" frame only to realize that my body had fallen of from the balcony or somehow died. Eventually, I stopped tripping so hard and my ego returned. I saw my friend, the room where I had been, and it seemed just like a dream. I felt like I had been in this state for 5 minutes, whereas my friend told me I had been in this trance for 2 hours! I looked at the clock, and realized that it was time for me to go back to do some work. I then stumbled into the restroom, feeling relieved when I looked at myself in the mirror. It seemed like I was looking at myself for the first time. When I said I had to go, my friend gave me a Hindu book about the Upanishads and said goodbye. While I walked back, everything looked different, it was as if I was in a lucid dream. I pinched myself, and felt a realization of pain(but it felt distant as if someone else was feeling it and hence did not hurt).  I even went shopping with a couple of friends later that night where I was talking to people, and doing "normal stuff". However I did not feel like I was actually doing them, but rather simply observing things in the same way that one would watch a first person view of a movie scene(only this was 3d touch smell,etc.). Adding to the madness, I could switch off my ego-sense and go exist in a different fantasy reality. Truly trippy stuff. I began to have doubts upon which reality was the "real" one(my normal reality, or all these new ones).  For a while I thought that I would be in this state forever. Eventually, things began to to become more stable and my normal reality started taking predominance. I went to bed, had a good night's sleep and  by next morning I woke up completely normal, feeling that I had dreamt the whole thing, but left with a touch of euphoria. However my doubt that it was all a dream vanished when I saw the book that my friend gave me lying on my chair. The next day went very well ( I was fully functional and even aced an interview I attended).

The above experience may seem a bit crazy/vague to you, but I have written it down as truthfully as I can without any bias to make it seem more "logical". I feel a bit defensive about posting this as it was a very personal experience, and I felt a bit shy to post it. But after reading some of the other's experiences, it did not seem as weird. By sharing it, it might help some of you complement your experiences and also analyze my trip with your far greater experience with psychedelics. Thank you for patiently reading this far. This experience seems completely contradictory to all my existing rational/atheist belief-system. I guess that overall, it has made me more open towards alternate explanations to reality and given me a lot of respect towards psychedelics.

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