emotional crap

(note: "never the same" trip report is about the same journey into the woods. I'm not the one he's talking about with all the wierd past-life stuff though)

That being said...
I'm a pretty resourceful person, and I know where to get things sometimes. My mushroom hookup is legit, and the mushrooms he provides are very potent. We bought half an ounce and split it between four people. 1/8th apiece. That's the dose I've taken every time I've shroomed (except for once when I took only half an eight), and it's a good amount, especially considering the potency of the mushrooms we had.
So we had our sacrament, and we had a holy place picked. Rather, a holy place had us picked..I won a camping trip up in the mountains a week prior to the trip, and I knew we were going to do it that weekend, so things lined up perfectly. But as is often the case with free things, somebody just wants to make money off of you somehow. The campground turned us away because neither I or any of my colleagues are over the age of 30. I guess people 30 and up are more likely to buy lifetime memberships to camping resorts. *shrug* whatever. Luckily, we found another campsite that was far superior to the originally planned one. It was much more primitive, and had easy access to a plethora of holy-nature-shrooming places. So we were better off in the end.
I try to research things thoroughly when there's complicated things at hand. (I recommend this site and erowid.com for very reliable information) I had read that you shouldn't trip if you're going through emotional crap, and now I know why.
My girlfriend just dumped me for another guy (Waaaah) and It's been on my mind since it happened (a few days before thanksgiving). I wanted to trip because I love to trip, and I thought that a good psychedelic experience with four of my closest friends *ever* would help cheer me up, generally. That was absolutely not the case.
We ate our mushrooms as soon as we got there (about 11 am), set up the tent, and trekked off in a random direction toward the woods. The walk got our blood flowing and got the psilocybin nice and broken down into psilocin and into our brains. We saw some deer and it was beautiful. I could feel the familiar re-orientation 20 minutes after ingestion, and I began to think think think think.
We hopped about in the woods and laughed at things, then I seperated myself from the group and just cruised around, hugging trees and appreciating the faces that seemed to be emenating from them.
Then more think think thinking.. Sarah with OtherGuy. OOh, look at the bark on that tree! Sarah not with me. Wow, that's nice mr. squirrel. Sarah. Sarah and me in love, things were great. Sarah moving on. Sarah smiling at someone else...you get the point. Sarah dominated my mind. Fortunately, when I do mushrooms I can't really keep a steady stream of thought for more than about a minute and a half. So it was off and on. Tears of sorrow would turn to tears of joy and back again. Eventually it got to a point where I was hallucinating so good that I could just sit on a rock or pile of leaves or whatever and appreciate what was going on in front of my eyes..the best show ever.
I reunited with the group and we smoked some pot. They were all talking and laughing and I'd get in on it occasionally, but I was generally somber. Trek trek trek. I don't know how far we went, but luckily we had someone with us who had an acute sense of direction so I wasn't too worried about finding our way back. Things got a little nutty when direction-boy decided that his "trip did a 180" and climbed a tree..a really big tree. Shit. Somebody had to go after him, and nobody really wanted to except for me. I love climbing trees, and even though I was frying really hard, I managed to reach his location (about 40 feet from the ground) on a tree that was growing from the same spot as the one he was on (think big V with a shallow angle). We talked about how he was feeling. I tried to be as comforting
as I possibly could, and we eventually made the trip back down the tree together.
About this time, the one who wrote "never the same" and the one who thought he was looking at him funny were getting into their little thing, and I tried to ignore it. Back to Sarah. Sarah Sarah Sarah. Bleh. They had their thing, and I tried to convince them that it was just the drug, but hallucinogens are funny like that. We laid about in the grass, getting up and down, looking at random interesting things. Somebody had the idea to go back to camp, so we were off in the direction we came, walking leisurely. I was still thinking about Sarah and how we weren't together, and how shitty that was. It cast a dark pall on the rest of the camping trip for me, and I couldn't resort to my old friend, THC, because he wasn't around. So I had to face my problems and thoughts clear headed, coming down off of mushrooms.
Coming down was easy, no bad effects. And the trip was fun, as most hallucinogenic experiences are, despite the crap that was going through my feeble little mind.
So in conclusion, if you're going through emotional crap, be prepared to deal with it if you want to hallucinate. Have fun, and be safe.