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Ego Death

My first time experiencing it on a larger scale.

Prior to the trip my friend and I were intrigued by ego-death. We had both wanted to experience the splitting of our egos. I had told my friend about how I had a short ego-death experience before but this night was nothing what I had expected at all. 

10 – 10:30 PM

So my friend arrives at my house and I grind up the shrooms in my Magic Bullet and mix it in with Sunny D. I do not know the exact amount we had. But I had maybe more than 2 grams and my friend had at least a gram. We decided we wanted to get some bud. Before we leave to pick it up I figured I should just drink mine now but my friend wasn’t going to because he was going to drive. We pick up a dime for a blunt to smoke later and by the time we left my dealers house the effects were arriving.

11:30 PM

We get back to my house and I’m seeing heavy breathing and feeling euphoric. My friend then drinks his and begins to roll the blunt. During then I was laying on my bed enjoying the visuals. So then I had the urge to look at my Jimi Hendrix poster, which was quite a show [http://www.everybodysposters.com/bigpics/33411.jpg]. So as I’m getting lost into the poster from all of the manipulation it’s taking I lose track of time for quite awhile.

12 AM

I check the time and to my surprise it was 12:08. I didn’t know if it zoomed by or if it dragged by. I was so unsure. As I look around my room, my perception is way off and my room just doesn’t look like my room. Anyway, I turn on some tunes and I grab this floodlight light bulb, which reflects my entire room. I was able to see my entire room from its reflection and it was just so interesting. I then feel like I should put it away because I was dropping it a lot, even though I had carpet and I’m sure that there really wasn’t any danger, but I put it away and lay on my bed. I then tell my friend that it should be a great time to check out our CEV’s and boy were they amazing. If only I was able to depict the pattern. It was beyond basic fractals. But it was amazing because the image that I was seeing was in sync with the music we were listening to.

1 AM [Not sure if the times are correct after this, but I tried]

I suggest that we turn off the lights but my friend was a bit hesitant but then he agreed and I proceeded. During this time, my memory gets quite hazy and I cannot remember much. I know I was laying on my bed for awhile but then I got on my computer which definitely put me in some kind of trance because the screen would just mesmerize me. I had seen a lot of melting and spinning within my background and it was amazing.

1:30 AM

We decided it would be a good time to spark the blunt. During our smoke session I began to feel very sober but had still been laughing a lot before even smoking.  So we smoke outside on my front step and my friend tells me he’s starting to trip pretty hard. We finish the blunt and I really didn’t feel like I had just smoked. As we step back into my house I felt the same as before when we had taken a walk. It was Déjà vu and I erupted in laughter because it was so weird.. So I figured that I was still not sober and tried to make sense of it. I figured my trip was prolonging due to the fact that I had ate dinner at around 6-7. Anyway, we get back into my room and didn’t bother to turn the lights on. By now I think my ego had split. I hadn’t noticed at the time but then now that I look back I can notice my personality change. We turn on the tunes again and we were just in a trance. I believe both of us were seeing sounds at this time and I had definitely seen OEV patterns. They were also beyond basic fractal patterns. I was seeing blue, yellow, and pink with a intricate cog pattern. There were so many different sizes of cogs. It was so beautiful.

2 AM

We fall out of the trance and I check the time. It was 2 AM. As the next song begins to play we fall into our trance, which felt like hours. I look at the clock and to our surprise only 8 minutes passed. This shocked us both and we erupted in laughter. As that subsided I got off the floor from my laughter and I believe my friend begins to have out of body experiences and his ego is splitting. Anyway, from the floor I get on my bed again and I do not remember much.

2:30 AM

 I think we went to the bathroom to check ourselves in the mirror and it was like a bomb hit me. I had forgotten I had been smiling. As soon as I seen that I was like “…wtf.” I couldn’t even look at myself because I couldn’t stop smiling and I couldn’t control it. So I’m just looking everywhere but in my mirror and my friend looks like he’s just bugged out. My friend suggested putting some music on and all I had was a burned CD. I tried looking for a song that would make him feel better but the first 4 or 5 songs just had a weird vibe to it. It seemed like those songs were talking about how my friend’s trip was. So I decide its enough being in the bathroom and we leave to my room. 

3 AM

This is when thing get very weird for us. I’m sitting next to my computer and I believe I had lost my ego for an unknown period of time and I would feel like I was back to my old self. I would then notice every single time when I would change personalities and it was a bit much. But after so long I accepted the fact of my ego splitting but my friend wasn’t taking it so well. I know ego-death is shocking to some people out there and he must have been one of them. He was pretty much freaking out I think. I think he was just afraid to let go of his ego and go with the flow. As if he didn’t want to be acting different. So that put me in a worry for him. He kept fighting the trip and I had no idea what to do for him. He had wanted me to record him with my cell phone and I did, but I don’t know the exact reason for me to. But he was telling me he thought he was up and about but I told him he was just sitting there.

4 AM

So around now, he wants to go home and I wasn’t sure if he was ready to. But after 10 minutes maybe I think it’d be best if he did because I wanted him to be at his “safe” place. So he leaves and I’m still tripping pretty hard. My blinds looked as if they were constantly rolling up and it freaked me out a bit. But the music helped calm me down and I lay in my bed with the lights off. I had a few out of body experiences during this time. I remember looking around in my room but I would remember that I had never gotten up and as soon I remember I open my eyes and I’m just laying there on my arm in my bed. However, I didn’t even remember closing my eyes. So I close my eyes and it happens again. It was really cool this time and I enjoyed it. I then get up and look at things around my room and my poster on my ceiling began morphing. It took no shape but it was becoming 3D. I was standing looking at it and I got a bit freaked. I lay back on my bed and my journey has ended.


This trip was definitely my strongest. I have left out a lot of events simply because I can’t explain it. I wouldn’t say this was a bad trip at all but it was very very very very weird. 

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