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This is Why You Respect the Shroom
I've only ever eaten mushrooms 4 times, this is the story of the 5th. I had taken the day off from work so I could get some extra sleep and hangout with friends later in the day. Around 4:00 pm I went to my friends house so we could go to the fair. We waited around for another friend for over an hour and it really ticked me off. You see I'm an impatient person, I already had the mushrooms and I was dying to eat them, but I had promised my friends I would go to the fair with them. So I was already in a bad mood before we even left for the fair, not good. In the car we smoked a blunt and I got ridiculously high, I mean hard to walk a straight line high. We walked around the fair for a couple of hours and my mood lightened, but I couldn't stop thinking about getting home to eat the shrooms. When I finally got home around 8:00 I ate all 4 grams that I had, the most I had ever eaten before was 3. I laid in bed and turned the TV on so I would have some colors to look at, then I put on a mix of psychedelic Beatles music, about 20 minutes later I fell asleep. When I woke up it was around 10:00pm and nothing was right. I was hallucinating like a crazy person, the river was flowing on the bottle of Ozarka water sitting next to my bed, everything looked like a sketch, as if it had been drawn around me. It was incredible at first, I couldn't stop laughing at how crazy everything seemed. I had a very intense body high, I couldn't really feel anything, and at the same time I could feel everything. This went on for about 10 minutes then, very rapidly, I decided I wanted it all to stop. But that's the problem with being egotistical about taking a psychedelic drug, you don't get to decide when it's going to stop. I laid there in the dark for a little while longer and was quite sure I was going to die. I thought something was seriously wrong with my body and that if I didn't do something that I wouldn't survive. I tried my best to focus on anything but to no luck, so I finally decided to call my friend, who has experience with mushrooms. I asked him if it was ever going to stop and he assured me it would, but I didn't believe him, in my mind this was an irreversible condition. I asked him if I had taken mushrooms and he said yes, then I asked if I had taken them today or yesterday and he said today. I hung up and began to feel my nose was bleeding and that scared me even more, I touched my nose and realized that I was just imagining it. I went in and out on consciousness several times, unaware if what I was doing was real or imagined. I called my friend again and asked if my best friend was someone I just made up in my mind, he told me that I didn't and that he was a real person, then I asked if he was my cousin, he said no he wasn't. I hung up and become locked in a catch-22 in my mind, I felt that if I could just think a certain thing then I would be able to pull my mind out of it, but every time I got to what I thought would pull me out, that thought would just repeat the loop of thinking I just had. I called my friend again and told him I couldn't handle it anymore, he told me I had to focus on something, I said I couldn't. He forcefully told me to get up, unfortunately my body just wouldn't respond anymore, he asked if I got up or not and I said no, he said I had to get up. I finally managed to get up and turn my light on, he said to get a pen and paper and draw something, shaking I grabbed a pen and paper and promptly lost consciousness. When I came too again I decided that I had created my entire life, my family was a figment of my imagination, this made everything even worse because I felt that I was now all alone in the universe. I thought that if I could remember something from real life that I could end this nightmare. I kept repeating my friends name and the names of family members, but I eventually couldn't remember who they were. I remembered that I had been listening to the Beatles earlier and I tried to focus on that, but very quickly I couldn't remember who the Beatles were or if they were even real. A lot of the night I don't remember, I thought I talked to my friend only twice that night, but when I checked my phone the next morning I had called him 6 times, he's the only reason I know about the conversations we had. The shrooms wore off around 12:15am and it was the greatest thing in the world. I didn't learn anything existential or profound, but I did learn a lesson. The mind and mushrooms are very powerful things, they are not trivial things that are under our every control. You cannot approach mushrooms with an egotistical mindset because you will not win. Mushrooms can be a doorway into very deep and spiritual thought, but you must respect the power they have and the power your own mind has to transform you.