I'll need to preface this with a paragraph about my week leading up to the trip, so you can understand how refreshing and amazing this trip was for me.
The last couple of weeks or so have been incredibly tense for me. I've felt familiar relationships strained and worried about them. Particularly, my good friend Joe and I decided we were going to do shrooms this weekend, and I wanted to make it happen. I asked a friend to help me get them--a relatively new friend but someone I've become close with recently. In my mind, I needed to do them this weekend and my friend worked VERY hard to get me some great shrooms. It strained us a bit because I was very set on getting them, and I was constantly talking to my friend about it until he came through. It was also a semi-emotional rollercoaster because I thought I would get them, didn't get them and got bummed, then was told I'd be getting them, then didn't hear from the guy, etc. But I finally got them, and:
I was very nervous about trying psychedelics for the first time. I was very scared that I would get stuck in my own mind and find that it wasn't a great place. It was NOTHING like that. My friend Joe and I treated today like we would be taking a trip, and I'm glad we did because we absolutely did take a trip, to a place I have subsequently named "shroomworld". Joe and I took them in our arboretum on campus (we go to UC Davis), and we specifically set up our home for the day in an area that I knew very well. I set up my very calming hammock between a couple of redwood trees, we laid a blanket and some speakers in the grass, and ate our sandwiches. Joe had about 3/4 of an 8th; I ate 3/4 of an 8th (dried) and then the last quarter. I'd say about 1/3 of it was cap. Joe was really in it way before I was--he doubled over in laughter for a solid ten minutes or so--those were the only pictures I took today. I realized that Joe had been drinking some Orange Gatorade, and I had some to intensify the experience. I still wasn't quite there, so I ate the rest of my shrooms and smoked a bowl of weed--that sent me over the top.
Before the weed, I noticed that colors were absolutely beautiful. I got some good visuals--vibrating and pulsing objects, things moving that weren't actually moving, beautiful colors. But I had an overwhelming sense of self and I was essentially in my own world, but seeing it differently. Then things really started to take effect. When I peaked, I was in a different world (shroomworld). I was really able to understand that it was a different world and not just my world that looked differently, because I had been to these places many times before sober and they looked completely unidentifiable. I "knew" we were physically in the arboretum, but mentally and visually I was in a place that was no distance away, just a completely alternate reality and world. It was about this time that Joe and I decided to take a walk and really explore and discover how beautiful everything was.
Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here albums really provided some good mellow background music, and we went walking. We walked around the arboretum for probably an hour or an hour and a half, barefoot (my feet are so hurting!), and discovered some really pretty sites including some beautiful meadows and an oak grove that was wonderful to relax in. Joe couldn't stop talking the entire time--his mind was working on overdrive, and he really worked out some very spiritual things that I also helped him figure out. He discovered perspective (all things that are not a matter of fact are simply a matter of preference your preference is not better than anyone else's because everyone lives in their own reality). I tried to help Joe come to this conclusion and understand that--he realized that he often tried to push his reality on others, whereas I naturally accept that my reality is my own and will never be right for anyone that doesn't embrace it by themselves. Joe talked non-stop for 3.5 hours, while mind was literally blank. I don't remember thinking ANYTHING during that time--I made no spiritual discoveries. Instead I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and belonging in this new world; I felt confident and relaxed, the same as I do when I'm backpacking. I wasn't overwhelmed by anything new and completely open to it. I was relaxed, and just felt very positive the entire time.
As I was coming off of the trip, I really began to be able to reflect on it. The one discovery I had on my trip was an affirmation of the way I do things. Joe was overwhelmed by the beauty around him, and I was too, but it was nothing new to me, since I believe the entire world is that beautiful even without the drugs. The visuals might be there, but beauty isn't only visual; I'd say the mushrooms simply provided a visual representation of the way I've always seen the world. It was really reassuring to me, and I really felt like it was an affirmation of the way I live my life and that I'm doing what's right for myself and don't need to immediately change anything. I called several people on my trip, and all of them were perfectly willing and happy to set aside their time to talk to me. After my trip, on reflecting, I realized how much I appreciated and valued those people for their patience in talking to me while I was on amazing experience. It was completely selfless of them, and I felt very supported by my friends the entire time. Very understood and cared about, like I haven't felt in a long time. I was grateful for those conversations, because it showed me that my friends had a patience for others that I believed was only present in myself.
After the trip, my friend who provided the mushrooms invited me to his place to mellow out. We went over just as the visuals were completely disappearing and our appetite was back. It was a wonderful feeling, again--I felt like I had been away from the Earth, and my friend and a few other people (some I had met, some I hadn't) were welcoming me back. They knew we were exhausted and drained, and made us as comfortable as possible. We ordered a pizza, I asked for some water and was rewarded with sprite instead (amazing), and they sat and listened to our adventures while providing their own insight and recounting their own trips. Everyone was very loving and happy for us, and it was really nice to feel taken care of, because I'm usually the one taking care of others (like I did Joe during his 3.5 hour internal/external dialogue).
In the end, I felt like I got back from a wonderful vacation. All of the stress I had been feeling the last couple of weeks was gone, and I felt like I had just gotten back from a week-long backpack in the mountains. My friend who provided the mushrooms and I shared a few knowing looks. He knew how much I appreciated what he did for me, and I knew that he had really been trying to prepare me and help me have the best trip possible. I felt any tension we had had melt away. Most of my reflections came after the trip as opposed to on it, but I came away with an incredibly positive sense of self and feeling. It was wonderful to take a vacation away from Earth for awhile and into a new world, and even more wonderful to feel completely at peace there without a care in the world. Time even ceased to matter, like it does while I'm in the mountains. I came away with a reaffirmed sense of self and a deep appreciation for the patience my friends had toward me. I'm very glad I took the trip, and I had no reason to be nervous at all.