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really bad trip, can someone tell me why?

bad shrooms, bad environment



i should say first, that right before taking the shrooms, i had a procedure done at the dentist, and i was administered local anesthesia, which the dentist warned me, can make your heart beat fast. (that will come into play later lol) it didn't affect me during the procedure, but it does later. i HATE the dentist with a passion, and it was a tough experience for me. but, i was looking forward to taking the shrooms to cheer me up. also, i have depression, and i was in a depressed state for a few days before taking the shrooms, which i've been warned is bad, to be in any type of bad mood. but i didn't really think about it (my fault) but anyways.. here's what happened.

well i've taken shrooms three times. the first time, i didn't feel that much but i enjoyed the feeling. the second time, was absolutely amazing, and the most beautiful and moving experience of my life. both times, i was more in control than my boyfriend who i was taking them with. we took them outside, sitting by a lake at a park, and just thought and talked and smoked a couple blunts. it was amazing, i smoke weed alot, and i'm always the one that's level headed, and thinking clearly, no matter how gone i am. so, taking shrooms the third time with my friend would be a good idea, i thought. she's done lots of hallucinogens, and drugs in general, so i trusted her. she's gotten these shrooms from the same kid a bunch of times, and never had a problem with them. she told me they were really good.  we ate the shrooms with orange juice (i don't know how much exactly, two medium-sized, really really potent shrooms). at like.. 6 or 7 pm, and smoked a blunt. it started to hit us when we were sitting outside, like an hour later, and the branches and leaves on the trees seemed to be smiling at us, and sticking out their hands to touch us. it was really fun. we then smoked more, smoked cigarettes, drove to get some food, and did whatever. i was definitely tripping hard, but i was enjoying it. around 9, my boyfriend got off work, and we went to meet him at a park to smoke with him. i was doing fine, but was getting a little paranoid that him and my friend were flirting even though they weren't. i was also getting sketched out. i felt like i didn't know him, like he was acting really weird. i started feeling really.. guilty, pathetic, embarassed, a bunch of bad feelings that i always get when i smoke, but i can push them away. by this point i was too fucked up to drive, so my friend drove us home. when we got there, we went in her room that was filled with trippy posters, and i instantly felt weird. everything felt so incredibly uncomfortable to me. i just felt a huge weight on my head.. like something was pushing me down. everything felt wrong, i couldn't sit still, i was having panic attacks every five seconds. i've never felt my chest as tight, and my heart beating as strongly as i did. i literally felt like i could have a heart attack at any second. (was that from the anesthesia?) i kept making my friend change things, going inside, going outside, smoking, not smoking, eating, drinking, turning the lights off/on, turning the tv off/on, talking/not talking. everything made me feel so miserable and sick and uncomfortable. another thing, during my procedure at the dentist, they put on a temporary crown on one of my teeth. it's basically plastic/acrylic, and around this time, i started to feel like my crown was melting off. every time we smoked a cigarette, i felt like my mouth was full of plastic.. smoke. it was a really gross and uncomfortable feeling. we tried to go to sleep at like 1. we went in the room, had the lights on but not bright, and were watching tv. i made her rub my head and play with my hair cause it was the only thing that made me feel any better. i made her promise me that i was okay. around 2 am, i got up and threw up once. i INSTANTLY felt ten times better, completely sober. but five minutes later, i was tripping hard again. so i went back in the bathroom and made myself throw up one more time. i felt a lot better, but was still tripping a little. i ate some crackers and drank water, and was able to go to sleep by 4 in the morning. i felt fine the next morning. but, while i was tripping.. i seriously wanted to call my mom (who would have KILLED me, grounded me til i graduate) to take me to the hospital cause i was so scared. for a few days after my trip, i couldn't feel any emotions. i felt incredibly lonely if i wasn't with my boyfriend all the time. i went to my friend's birthday, didn't speak to ANYone, and left early because i was freaking out from all the people being there. i feel okay now, two weeks after, (aside from every time i smoke, i have small panic attacks that make my heart beat fast, and give me the feeling of "get the fuck out of here, now") but i'm still scared to take shrooms again, which sucks, cause i loved them before this bad trip. i also had wanted to try acid, dmt, other things. if anyone could explain to me why i had a bad trip, or how i could avoid it in the future, i would really appreciate it. it was probably stupid of me to go right after the dentist, still numb from the anesthesia. i also think it coudl've been from taking them at night, or taking them inside. i felt trapped. it also could be that they were just too potent for me, or they could've been bad shrooms, since i threw up. i really don't know but if someone could help me i would be so grateful! thank youuu.

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