It was my second time that I had eaten shrooms. The first being a fairly non-event, as I only ate one or two and it didn't really do much. This time I ate around 5 and the experience was much more intense.
It started at a pre-drinks party, and we all ate one to begin with. 30 minutes after, a few of the people I was with (who have previously done shrooms on the odd occasion) started asking me if I could feel anything, - I couldn't. We ate another one, and just talked, listened to some music. It was great. Another 30 minutes after the second shroom, I could definitely feel something. I did start giggling at nothing in particular, and I was very much more immersed in the music now, listening to it intently. We decided to eat another perhaps another 30-45 minutes after that, and by that time, if I concentrated on one of the walls, it began to slowly come closer to me, which was fun. I wasn't scared or anything, and I kept trying to trip myself out by staring at certain objects for long periods of time.
Pre-drinks were wrapping up at this time, and we were about to talk a walk into the city to go to a club and listen to some techno. Before we left, we decided to eat another one and a bit for the walk ahead (about 15-20 minute walk). - By this time, I was finding it hard to talk to people, as it felt like I was completely disinterested in everything anyone had to say. All I wanted to do was look at things, and think, - although I wasn't even thinking. It felt like I was in a state of limbo, where nothing was going in, and nothing was really going out of my head. I would have liked to describe me feeling as nice, but it was neither nice, nor bad, it was... "balanced".
As we packed up to leave, I went to the toilet and was told to look at the map of the world directly above the toilet. As I started to piss I gazed at the map, and it definitely started to warp. It was great and I started to laugh. The map was moving in and out with my breathing. When I took a breathe in, the map shrank, similarly when I exhaled, the map would enlarge. I remember laughing and thinking, "wow, this really is how people describe it".
The first step outside was light a breath of fresh air. It was a completely different world from the one which I had occupied for the past few hours. The bleakly lit room was instead filled with amazingly coloured traffic and street lights which shone on the trees and created an incredibly beautiful and crisp image. I instantly smiled and laughed and was so excited I asked for another shroom. I was told to wait until we go to the club, so I waited.
As the group of 10 or so walked ahead, I decided to walk alone, a little behind to really take in what I was seeing. There was something different about the buildings and the streets that I couldn't exactly identify. The shape was the same, the colour was more so the same, but to me it looked and felt like it was the first time I had laid eyes on these 'miraculous marvels of human integrity'. I remember thinking how amazing the human race was, and how without it, I wouldn't be able to see the trees look so vibrant against the fluorescent light. I remember thinking that humanity and nature go hand in hand, and to survive, one relies on the other. The walk continued and I was in a very peaceful state of mind. We stopped at an intersection, and a carload of boys stopped, and put the windows down and started yelling what ever a car of early 20 boys yell. I didn't like it at all, and they all looked very angry. I remember asking myself why people feel the need to act like that. I thought the world would be such a better place if people just acted friendly, and not tough and macho, - there was really no need for it. We walked on, and I quickly forgot about the car and entered back into my own world which, at the time I can only describe as being full of nothingness. To me, everything I saw looked like it had been left on a 2-3 second long exposure shot, - the colours were most intense, and the lines were much more sharp.
We finally got to the club, and I tried to pull it together for the bouncer as I was still in this vague mind-frame. We entered the club and ascended up the bleak cold stairway. I immediately felt uncomfortable. I didn't like the enclosed space, and I wanted to leave and go outside. This is where the trip began to turn to shit. There was a screw up at the door regarding our free tickets, and the door girl and security guard were getting quite pissed off, and they had every right to be, - we were holding up the entire line, and our names were not on the list, - we were not going to get in free, and that was that. We ended up waiting in the stair-well for at least 15 minutes, while hoards of unfriendly looking people walked into the club. I distinctly remember one man, who had obviously been bashed fairly recently, with crooked teeth, a black eye and stitches on his forehead. When I'm sober I would never usually feel uncomfortable about this, but the mushrooms definitely made me feel very vulnerable. I stood there facing the cement wall, looking nervously at all the bumps and tiny holes that come with any cement wall. It was almost like I was able to zoom right in and notice things I would never have before. We were eventually told to leave and go stand in the alleyway, so I eventually just said fuck it, and left my friends. Usually I wouldn't just 'leave' my friends like that, but there felt like there was tension between the group and I just didn't want to be there.
I ended up walking and getting into a taxi. Things began to happen very quickly. Everything went from very calm and peaceful to chaotic and rushed. I hoped in the cab and told him to drive me to a bar on the other side of town, where my other friends were. This cab ride was horrible. The driver didn't want to talk, and I began to feel very encapsulated. I started to breathe faster, and I would have looked very uncomfortable to the cab driver. It felt like the cab took so long. We managed to catch every red light, and was surrounded by fools who walked the street drunk and angry. My stance on humanity switched completely, and I was disgusted with everyone, my emotions were running wild, and not necessarily in a good way. Finally the cab drive was over, and I was able to meet up with my other friends (who were simply drinking, thus on a completely different wave length to me). Again, the feeling of vulnerability made me feel very fragile, and I felt like I needed to be hugged. My friends here were all about to split up, one was going home, one was going out to another bar, and one didn't know what he wanted to do, this made the feeling of anxiety even stronger, as I definitely didn't want to be alone.
I ended up calling my ex-girlfriend and catching a cab back to my house with another friend.
The anxeity was over once I came home. I put some tracksuit pants on, put some nice ambient music on, and made myself a cup of tea. We all sat and chatted (although I still found it hard to focus, and often found myself just ignoring what they were saying to me, - the feeling of nothingness still very much present). We looked at some art, and I began to see it warp again and this brought on this cheered me up again. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I walked closer to the mirror and put my face right against it. I could see a perfect reflection of myself inside my dilated pupils. It was a little unnerving, so I went back a lay on my bed for a while. I could feel the trip coming to the end, and the world beginning to spin at a normal speed again. I was relieved that my ex-girlfriend was there, so that I had someone to hug as I drifted off to sleep.
Overall it was a good learning experience, although there was a period of 1-2 hours where everything was a little hectic.
Choose the right people to do it with, and choose the right place to do it at. I am excited to do it again in a more user-friendly environment.