The following experience was given to me as an original diary entry from a friend, who asked me to translate it from greek to english and publish it wheresoever I deemed appropriate. This said, I can only attest for the truth of the experience, since I was my friend's sitter during this voyage. My friend is a grown-up, serious family man, with a strong theoretical background in spirituality. His intended use of psychedelics is, I quote, "to only facilitate contact with the higher planes of existence." No recreational use, no parties, no abuse. I kept the emphasis and capitalization of the original greek text
Date: Jun 17 2006, 2:20pm
After my 2 previous failed attempts (i.e. poor results) with psilocybe mushrooms, I decided to give it a definitive final attempt, this time doubling the ingested dose. My friend and sitter arrived at my house and we carefully weighed 12 grams of mushshrooms. (Translator's note: my friend is a really big guy, towering at 2.03m - almost 6ft 7".) I put them in a food processor, together with some orange juice and some ice, unsuccessfully attempting to make a smoothie. I gulped down 3/4 of the glass container, yucking all the way, and put the rest in the fridge as an additional punch, if needed. I hadn't eaten anything since I woke up that morning, trying to fast somewhat. 30 minutes later, and since I didn't feel any particular symptoms, I drank the rest of the "smoothie". I held firmly in my mind my intent: I wanted this to be a beneficial, mind expanding experience.
The onset was quick. I felt numbed and I looked at the points where the shadows crossed on the ceiling. Without warning I found myself in the middle of a sensory storm. I started seeing colourful "psychedelic" streams of colour, warps, flows, waves, hex cells. My hearing became extremely astute and the background street noise became annoying. I asked my sitter to close the window and I turned down the music volume. The colours on my laptop screen glistened heavenly beautiful! I could see unbelievably sharply, almost into the very structure of matter. I began murmuring "unbelievable, unbelievable", and let myself be carried away by the music. The sound I perceived now was full of depth, sentiment and pure energy. And then it came.
The transition must had been really abrupt, because I can't remember anything in between. The cosmic joke was revealed in all its glory and it was so funny, so hillarious, so obvious that an unstoppable laughter took over me. I laughed and laughed and enjoyed it, I felt redeemed and grateful that I was given the chance to comprehend it. Time started losing its meaning; it slowed down so much that ultimately stopped altogether. And then I became one with the universe. I felt all my self spreading across infinity and everything else being part of me and me being part of everything else, only there was no longer "self" and "else". I felt I was my friend, I was my wife, my kids, I was all and all were myself. I grasped the meaning of the phrase "God is within". I began laughing again (if I had stopped at all, that is) and yelled "I'm melting, I'm melting, I'm melting!" My ego melted completely away and disappeared. Time stopped completely and I finally came to understand that it's an illusion, it does not exist. The Eternal Now unfolded around me and I started jumping to different emotional states, exploring them. I lived my life in every possible variation and died every possible death. I understood that nothing is as important as they make us think and all we need is to live our life and squeeze every joy and sorrow she offers, because life - she's a gift. I felt that had I died that very moment nothing whatsoever would change and that tought had nothing scary in it. "Why?", I asked myself and the answer was already there within me, I already knew it: There's no birth or death, there's only transformation, transition to eternity. I tried to explain to my friend the things I lived "right there right then" and I kept receiving the same response from within: "Don't try to explain, he already knows! He just hasn't realized it yet!" (Translator's note: indeed, my friend burst in pure and hearty laughter and described precisely what's written above - only in a much more analytic, profound and convincing way; he almost ruined his experience talking, trying to explain the things he felt. I tried to keep some notes only to discover later that he had no need for them, as he had absorbed the quintessence of his journey)
The feeling of timelessness was so intense, so alive, so endless, that for a moment I feared it would never end. I quickly overcame that feeling and focused on the experience. I started to reflect on the spiritual stuff I'd read so far and the important parts flashed like lightning in front of me. I understood how and where those who had written them had experienced, one way or another, the same thing I was experiencing then. I understood that the Teachers could have existed or not; it didn't really matter because all of us can be ones. I comprehended the logical obstructions a man has to overcome, tiled like a brick in the Wall of a now deprecated logic, if they were to plunge into infinity. There were no questions anymore, only answers, precise and clear. And it seemed soooo easy to merge with infinity. I snapped my fingers and I told my friend that it was that simple, that fucking simple, the universe is but a finger snap away. I became Jesus Christ, I became Buddha, I became Castaneda's Don Juan, I became everyone and everything and it was so easy. I felt Love as a locomotive force permeating everything.
I started observing the room around me and I focused on a bottle on the table. And then it struck me like a lightning: "there is nospoon!". The bottle wasn't really there, it was only the focus of my perception that made it exist. Unwittingly tried to bend it but I didn't make it. I thought of the famous scene in "The Matrix" and it occured to me that it's the universe I must bend. I failed again and immediately knew why: because I could not believe it's possible, I had yet to bring down my logical barriers. But I definitely knew it can be done and I realized how and what it is to be a sorcerer: you only need to believe and know it can be done. I stood up and felt being outside my body. I perceived my body as a lattice of energy, the space around me was energy. I inhaled and laughed: that wasn't air, it was another illusion. I went to the bathroom and laughed. I saw myself in the mirror, my face changing shapes and it didn't look funny or peculiar, it was that normal. That magical. I realized that one doesn't really need shrooms to achieve that state, it's something that anyone can achieve. Anyone! I also realized that different psychedelics achieve the same end result, it's their ways and feeling that differ.
I picked up the phone to call my wife, to tell her what I had learned. I immediately knew she was out of the house and wouldn't pick up, and she didn't. The thought returned: "she also knows already, you'll waste your breath - and you'll save yourself a rebuke". But I wanted to tell her anyway. A little later I called her again, knowning again she wouldn't pick up. She didn't. The effects of the divine mushroom started wearing off. Time accelerated and I started grounding.
I called my wife again and I knew this time she would pick up. She picked up. I knew what I was gonna say and how she was gonna react, but I said it anyways and she reacted just as I knew she would.