Long time since i was last around, but then, my last trip was 2005 right b4 they banned them fresh at Glade festival watching Simon Posford as halucinogen :-D Superb gig and i've bought my tickets to go see Shpongle in london oct 30th as the pre-4th album release gig :-D it's gonna be incredible :-D
The thing is im all about tripping rarly, genrealy twice a year cept for this long break but right now i have the overwhelming need to go deeper and deeper. I have never felt this comfortable with tripping, it's due to a change in setting, not that the other settign were "bad" they were totaly fine, good people good place but i've tripped on my own twice b4 at about a teenth and felt very very connected to everthing that I shouldnt couldnt alow myself to flow with when with people, there wasn't the same lvl of safety? nah, same lvl of comfort maybe or rather jsut fukin relaxation and freedom knowing i could do and be anthing.
So onto the trip :-)
The Setting:- I had spent 2 days building a setlist in winamp, everything from Shpongle, Infected Mushrooms first 4 albums bar Citys of the Future (that track and the music after that point is aweful imho) to Vibrasphere, Juno Reactor, Ozric Tentacles, Ott, Younger Brother, Celtic Cross you get the idea :-) The second aspect of my setting was that I have bought a new pc not that long ago (i7 w00t!) and my new case is the Antec 900 Gamer Case which has this grating all around it with blue LEDs inside which when its dark light up the room with effervecent blue tainted checkers all over the ceiling and walls then add to that my next stage which was turning my big ass monitor at 45o to the ceilign and putting winamp on with Milkdrop visuals running which cooured the whole ceiling in ever changing colours in time with the music :-) put on my Sennheizer HD650s headphones, got into bed and came up on my own in that place :-)
The trip was my largest ever dose too, 5g of cubensis I dryed my self, very strong and 4 years zero tolerance :-)
I went into it with many questions about my life that i was looking for answers too, I generaly sit and talk to the bag of mushys and ask for help in the following things, the questions, and say why I feel i need to trip, alot of questions, alot of worry, alot of loss of direction, dissconection, shit like that which I just couldn't answer myself nor others could really help me with hence why I felt I needed to trip again, they've helped me in the past :-)
Anyway, I started commming up, got into bed whacked the music on, turned the lights off ect and delt with comming up.... for me commign ups not an easy thing, it fee just as though rushes of pins n needles but alot stronger (depends on dose too some) rushing thourhgh y body which gets stronger and stronger as the visuals get more and more intence over the next hour as I come up then BOOM! a HUGE wave of eurphoria, relaxation, warmth and calm flows over me as I hit peak (anyone else havea anything like that?) Now i was up i could look around and see how deep I actualy was, it was definutly deeper than i had been b4, the ceiling had layers of itself and colour not just a single flow, the shadows around the light were swinging in circles and the marks onthe celing were along sliding down through the wall. The music came onto some Juno Reactor, up till this point i had jsut had it on random which I now turned off, which was hard as hell as the buttons in winamp were 3 fold hehehe Juno Reactor really started getting going, pumping hte visuals harder nad harder I was Just completely struck by what the mind is acutaly capable of, the energy and power and magnitude of it all was incredible as I jsut constatnly flowed with it :-)
Then came the Nitrous :D:D:D I have ahd nitrous b4 (650 in one day one time) but nvr while tripping :-)
I had read a few reports on nitrous and mushys, most didn't really comment a huge deal others did adn one, whos first experiance on nitrous was while trippign was that he said it multiplyed the mushys, as though ya suddenly lost all tolerale for a time, this is what I was hoping for and this is what I got :-) I took it in and, trying to find the words, as it kicked in the line between me and the visuals started to, to what, to, argh, edge itself away from existing,
This was new....
I felt myself starting to fight it but I said, out loud "no! dotn fight it!" and i compeltely let go and i jsut disolved, only for a moment, but i disolved into it into me into just into!
.....then i suddenly woke up back out of it and realised I (the awake me, ) had jsut vanished and ther was jsut everything of which i was a part of for, god, like a second tops, and am now back... I dont htink this is ego death, ive never ahd ego death and it sure as hell didnt feel like dieing and i still dont know exacty waht "ego" is, so if I had had that die for a moment then I would surly know what it was now heh... no what I think it was was jsut hte high nitrous effect (ive been a dribbling mess for 30secs b4 on it hehe, altiough this was jsut msot of 1 16mg charger), but coupled with an increase in the mushys strength
The point is is that showed me that im a part of everything not seperate that it showed me I am a aprt of the world im not disconected from myself nor the world nor does the lack of direction mean i am no longer involed, contributing and existing in the universe inmy own uniqe way... I mean shit, I didn't even see a single entity this time, no beutifal dancing fairys, no demonic but friends faces (lke gargoyles) it was just colours, just flowing, jsut connection just incredible power and wonder and a feeling of "its been too long" and "why did i wait?" hehe :-)
The questions wern't answered, it didnt tell me what I wanted to hear, it gave me what i so badly needed :-)