Essence of Weird

Whenever I think of mushrooms I think of fun. But it isn't until I begin to feel the effects of the psychedelic that I realise what I've done to myself. There are certain things that come to mind when I think of hallucinating: frogs, skinny humanoids, bubbling, melting, altered texture, anxiety, cold, extra dimensional, indescribable, universal, shamanistic, two-faced, insanity, twisted, the truth, a past lifestyle, weird. When I start to trip I try to remind myself that I should not be afraid or on edge. I know that the drug will wear off eventually, but that doesn't matter because any one moment can be an eternity of insanity. I'm at the point of saying no I don't want to trip out because it's too intense for me. Then I think to myself, Why can my friends have such a good time but I freak out and lose control each time I trip? Then the competitive half of me kicks in and says you can make this better, you don't have to lose it. Be a man and go with the flow. I know that all I have to do is have an open mind. The innocent child in me tells me that drugs are harmful to you, and they give you an altered perspective and attitude on life. I'm always afraid that I'm betraying myself when I use these drugs. I think it may be just me. Perhaps my genetics aren't used to the ingestation of psychedelic drugs. Sometimes I wish my ancestors had used more of them so that I may have an innate ability to control the rollercoaster that is mush. One strange thing is that when I think of hallucinating tripping out, I feel like I'm somehow bound to it. It seems familiar to me. I feel like I've used these drugs in a past life. I feel that I knew about what it was like since I was brought into existence. There is more to this life than what we can see. Our reality, "sober" reality, is just a chemical mask covering up the truth. Altering time. Altering perspective. Altering stimuli. I sometimes feel angry at the human biological function because it doesn't show us what we need to see. It gets boring. 3rd dimensional reality is just a cover for what's underneath. What we see is bullshit. What we hear is that bullshit. If you consume the raw product of that bullshit it will imbue itself into your psyche and give you a taste of the real reality.