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Avoid Scots while tripping

....and Irishmen

i'm fairly used to tripping , i'm seasoned when it comes to acid and shrooms, i thought munching my latest flush was gonna be a hoot. i scoffed 6 shrooms between 5-6 inches all all the runts. i'd eaten that amount the week before and i was fine, well not fine, far from it but it was sweet.

i rolled up a fatty and put bad santa on cause i was feeling festive, about half way through i started feeling really sleepy and couldnt really move much, this was nice. by the end of the film i was seeing box shaped lights in my perriferal vision and what people where saying didnt seem to match up to what was happening on screen, the screen looked to be leaning back and the fluffy rug i was sitting on was rippling and the floor had a watery look to it. i stood up and went for a piss, the head rush didnt feel good, i was dizzy and not too much of piss actually went in the toilet.

i went and sat down again and things were getting really intense, still enjoyable tho. the corner of the room looked like it got further away wheni looked away, then slid back when i turned to it.

i put on south park, its always good for a laugh. about 10 mins in the voice sync went mental, this pushed me over the edge. i got really paniced , i thought id broken my brain. there was nothing actually wrong but i couldnt help feeling something really bad had happened.

when i switched back to tv it was mock the week on dave. there was a scottish dude and an irishman  shouting at each other. this was really freaking me out but i didnt realise i could change the channel, iwas laying and my bed watching swirling patterns on the cieling feeling wrose and worse. i felt like i was dying there people shouting at me in stupid accents really loudly
. i felt like i was in hole , the ppl laughing on tv really werent helping. i was disconnected things were happening but i wasnt part of it. i coudnt keep my mind on anything for more than a few seconds. i had no control of my thoughts

i decided i really had to do something, i needed sedating, i needed to go to hospital, i needed my stomach pumping. it was like my thoughts were slurring i was forgetting what i was thinking about as i was thinking it. i stood up with amazing eaze i found and wobbled downstairs. i live with my mother and brother and she was the only person in the house. i walked into the front room and just came out with it " ive eaten loads of those mushrooms i grow and im going insane" i felt like a 5 year old again. i was asking to go to hospital , she said that wasnt happening. then she put my nieces bambi dvd on put her puppy on my lap.

all of a sudden things didnt seem so bad, i still couldnt keep my thoughts together, the room was sliding around, i was nearly falling out the chair sideways ( casue the floor was tilting, obviously) but the warm little blob on my lap squirming round made me feel a whole lot better, the puppy is a chihuahua terrier cross and has bulbous eyes, but these looks massive, like a little frog. my sense of dread had gone and the more i focused on lily ( the pup ) the more normal i felt. i couldnt keep track of what was happening on the tv but it seemed freindly and calming.

without really taking note of where i was i pulled my rolling gear out of my side pocket on my combats, spent 45 minutes rolling what could be loosely described as a joint and sparked it in my living room, something i normally dont do if my mums there. the watery effect was leaving my vision and soon only the odd shimmer reamained, i was almost asleep and my mum prodded me and said she was going to bed. it was 2330, 6 hours had passed, there abouts, i was hungry i went and ate a huge plate of cold mashed potatoes. i actually felt really good, i was alive , i wasnt insane, my arms and legs worked, and i thought i was dying , silly me!

i actually laughed out loud, i was ok, prolly better than ok cause i was happy just to be healthy and sane. i went and grabbed my hot water bottle ( lily ) headed upstairs rolled another smoke, choked my chicken, and went to sleep feeling liuke id just dodged a bullet.

the moral of this story : the strength of mushrooms is almost ((impossible to gauge)) {final fantasy 11 joke} sure you can so say one strain is more potent than another but it can vary so much from crop to crop that may as well go out of the window, ive grown thai shrooms that are meant to be the tits and ive had crops that are much less potent than cubans which have never been noted as being particularly strong. just be careful ppls try and stagger your dose if you can, make sure theres someone not tripping that can talk you down ( like my ex hippy mum ) , id say just dont do shrooms but hey..... this is the shroomery

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