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The night I died
The night I died and became a new person.
So this is my very first experience with Psychedelics period, and I walked in with expectations. BAD IDEA. I took the shrooms at around 5 o'clock. 6 o'clock
comes around and im starting to feel the effects. I got really giggly and laughy, with friends listening to the music flow within me. The sky was so beautiful,
I just wanted to lay down in the open field we were at and take it all in. The sky never looked so incredibly amazing ever. I truly felt like I was one with
the universe. We were all looking for a place to smoke weed so, we were driving all around town avoiding cops and such there were alot out
that night might I add. We pulled into a random dark street when things started to really hit me.
I started to realize I was losing touch with reality. I thought hard about how I was feeling at that present moment. I started to try and think
rationally but I just couldn't!!!! It was starting to become frustrating! Patterns started morphing into the seats and I just needed to break out!
I felt very paranoid and thoughts of dying started to come into my head. I started to panic and break out into a cold sweat. When things got worse.
I continued my downward spiral into the abyss voices started morphing into my ears as the music seemed to have got stuck.
It sounded like a broken record, it just froze and kept playing again. Time was going by VERRRRYYYYYY SLOW. I closed my eyes
and started to see into kaleidoscope like visions and and patterns morphing into one another. I wen't home to take a shower where the water felt
like I was floating in the sky. Then I started to panic again and I forgot how to breath. Every now and then I'd start to think about breathing
and a jolt of air would rush into me. As if the life has just been brought into me again after being dead for 5 minutes. I layed down in bed trying
to hide from my family that I was dying. Imagine that, dying, and seeing God in the clouds and not being able to tell your family. I kept
praying to God to end this experience minutes stayed and froze like I was stuck in this time warp forever! Evil thoughts started to envelope
me like I was going to hell or something. And I would never come out of this. It was a very terrifying experience. Horror was strewn all
across my face. I couldn't decipher what was really happening or what was fake. Thoughts of
eating a poisonous mushroom came into my head, even though I grew them. I felt
like I was just dying. I felt like I lived 18 years on this earth and now it was all over. Total time loss was occuring. My ego flew away from me.
Miles away from me. I prayed and prayed so hard for all this to end. And then it happened. Enlightenment.
I turned the lights on and just said why? Why do I continue to feel this way. I finally reached the stage where I didn't care anymore. I was
comfortable with death. I didn't care about dying, so I got up in this fairytale land that I was in, and roamed around the house. My brother
was watching Meet The Spartans, and normally a movie like that I hate, but it became Hilarious!!! I was laughing nonstop I couldn't stop giggling.
I saw patterns coming out of the Television and I just played with them. Not caring at all! I felt like I died and went to heaven. One
thing I found that was very entertaining was looking into the mirror. My nose started to become elongated and my ears
swayed back and forth. I enjoyed these sights of pleasure. My face is warping!!!! It just felt so amazing. As the movie progressed
I started to come out of the fairyworld I was in. I waved goodbye to all the paterns that were forming. And I felt enlightened. I felt like
I never took value of all my things, family, and possessions. I felt like I had been given another chance by God to live this life right.
What a religious experience this has been. Im still a little hazey right now from the experience that has just happened to me. But
I look at life differently now. It is definitely not like the movies say it is. Its not like looking into a kaleidoscope. Try everywhere you look there
are patterns. It is a total different experience from Marijuana or being drunk. But it has taught me ALOT, and I love life now, more then I ever
have. If you can get past the fighting with your ego, you will enter another universe you never thought possible. You can manipulate time
and yourself! Definitely an experience I will never forget. I am finally reborn a new person.
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