First Real Trip

First, this is quite long.  But I think it’s a pretty good story.

Alright, the first time I took shrooms it was during the summer up at some land of my buddy's.  It was a very small dose, and the only effect I got was a heavily stoned feeling (but that might have been from the weed we were smoking lol).  But it was a great time, so I really wanted to try them again.

The next opportunity I got to trip was a few months later in mid-fall.  One of my real good friends was back in town from college for the weekend (I'll call him Ted), so me, him, and another good buddy of mine (I'll call him Rex) got a hold of three eighths of an ounce of some really big capped shrooms.  We decided we were going to take them up at Rex's farm on Saturday, making sure that we had no commitments or anything that day.  We knew that his farm would be a great place because it was in the middle of nowhere, and there was no chance that we would be interrupted.

Needless to say, we were all really excited for the trip.  We had been wanting to trip pretty hard for a while now, and we were looking forward to it quite a bit.  We figured we would split the shrooms up, an eighth for each of us.  Once we got up to the farm, we put a pizza in the oven, and once it was ready, got it out and threw the shrooms on top for a delicious looking slice of shroom-pizza for each of us.  We gobbled them down quite easily, the pizza made it so we could hardly taste them.  Then we went out in front of the cabin to wait for them to kick in.

It was a freakin' beautiful day, the trees were just starting to really change colors and the sun was shining with just the right amount of clouds in the sky.  We sat out front of the cabin and smoked a bowl, and just talked and laughed.  I could tell we were all a little anxious for the effects to come on, and once we started to notice that the trees were really beautful, we all knew that it was just a matter of time before we were going to be hit hard.

So we took a walk down the big pond that he has, and sat on the dam and just looked out across the water.  It had been about 40 minutes since we ate the shrooms, and we could definatley feel the onset.  The sight was simply breathtaking, with the wind blowing across the water making it shimmer in the sun, and the trees swaying in the wind.  It was if I had never seen that sight before (even though I had sat there countless times before).  After about 5 minutes of this, Rex layed on his back and looked up at the sky.  "Holy shit, look at the clouds," he said.  Me and Ted looked up, and I can't tell you how beautiful it was.  The clouds were...dancing.  Thats the only word I can think to describe it.  I could see them morphing into shapes, and the edges were wisping around in the most beautiful patterns.  It was great.

After admiring the clouds for some time, we walked back up towards the cabin.  It was then that I thought, "I should go sit in the woods."  So I did, while Rex and Ted walked off in another direction.  I walked slowly through the woods until I reached a spot were I could sit against a tree and overlook a nice section of the woods.  I sat down, and once again was amazed by the beauty.  The wind was blowing through the trees, and the sun was shining down through the leaves, and it all added up into a scene that was indescribable.  I remember looking down at a small plant near me, and I could see the leaves breathing.  It was amazing.  I sat there for probably 15 minutes, just in awe of everything. The only thought that ran through my head was, “What is all of this?  What am I?”  It was very…deep.

I soon started to hear Rex and Ted laughing in the distance towards the cabin, and thought I should start back that way.  On the way back, I heard a slither in the leaves in front of me, and looked down to see a large blacksnake staring up at me about 5 feet away.  I have always loved snakes, so I wasn’t scared or anything.  I just stood there and watched it, and it laid there motionless looking up at me.  We stared at each other for what felt like hours, but probably was more like 20 seconds.  Then, the snake began to ever so slowly move away from me.  As I watched it move, I could almost feel its body against the leaves, and I swear I became like the snake for that brief moment, and then it was gone.  Exhilarating.

So I get back to the cabin, and Rex and Ted are sitting in the screened in porch smoking another bowl.  I didn’t really feel like smoking, but I think I took a couple hits anyway.  Sitting there, there suddenly was a feeling of awkwardness.  It was as if we couldn’t talk to each other.  We would blurt out meaningless stuff, and nod and laugh at each other, but real communication was over.  I sat there for a few minutes, and felt like there was nothing else to do.  So I went out into the yard and laid in the grass and looked up at the sky.  At this point, there were no clouds, just a clear, deep blue sky.  After a few seconds, I began to see what I can only describe as blue ribbons floating and dancing through the sky, moving in the most intricate patterns imaginable.  It was like one of those visualizers you have on iTunes, only infinitely more beautiful.  I remember thinking, “This must be what God looks like.”

Rex and Ted came out and laid down next to me, and were amazed by the sky as well, but there was still this communication breakdown between us.  It just felt kind of awkward.  Anyways, Rex then wanted to get in his truck and drive around his farm a little.  I didn’t think it was the greatest idea, but as they got into the truck, I said fuck it and ran and jumped into the bed of the truck.  We drove out into a field, and I looked towards the sun.  The warmth that it was showering upon me was incredible, and the sight that lay before me was beyond words.  Then I remember hearing Ted say to Rex in the truck, “Dude, I think I’m having a bad trip.”  Man, hearing those words had the weirdest effect.  It was as if a balloon had popped inside of me, and I remember thinking, “Aw man, don’t say that…”  The trip was never the same after that.

So Ted thought it would be a good idea for him to go back to the cabin and lay down for a while, thinking it would make him feel better.  I wanted to talk him out of that, because I knew that it was not a good idea for us to leave him alone if he was really having a bad trip.  But, that communication breakdown was still there, and I couldn’t put my thoughts into words.  That, and Rex was saying, “Alright man, just let him do what he wants, he’ll be okay.” So we drove him back to the cabin.  I felt really bad leaving him there, but Rex was wanting to drive some more, so I trusted that he would be okay and we took off again.  We drove to the middle of the farm, and got out and walked around.  I laid down for a bit, and looked up at the clouds that were back in the sky, and once again was amazed by their beauty.  They were morphing into pirate ships and sailing across the sky, leaving trails of wispy whiteness in their wake.  But the whole time I didn’t feel right knowing that Ted was back in the cabin all alone when he should have been out there enjoying it with us.  But me and Rex walked around some more, and tried our best to talk what was on our minds, but simply couldn’t put it into words.  “Blah,” was all we kept saying, and laughing at it, because everything was so beautiful yet somewhat bizarre and foreign.  It was as if we were seeing everything for the first time again.

Me and Rex then got back in the truck, and drove around some of the county roads around his farm (probably not the smartest idea, but hey, we survived.)  Again, the beauty of the countryside was indescribable.

Once we got back to the cabin, we walked in to find Ted laying on the couch.  He got up and we asked him how he was feeling, but I knew the answer before I even asked it.  He still didn’t feel right, and his not feeling right was somehow making me not feel right.  I mean, this guy is my best friend, and there was just this separation between us that I could feel.  It was…weird.

Back at the cabin, I once again got the feeling that there was absolutely nothing to do, and that nothingness was kind of scary.  I felt like it was pointless to do anything…we could drive to the nearest town to get some food, we could walk around the farm some more, we could do whatever we wanted, but it all seemed to not matter at all.  Again, very weird.  And the weirdest part was not knowing if anything was every going to matter again…I pictured going home the next day and eating dinner with my parents, and I imagined that I would just sit there, not saying a word, not caring about the food in front of me, not caring about my relationships to my friends and family, and basically never being the same.  It sounds really negative when I write it, but it wasn’t negative when I was thinking it…it was neither negative nor positive…it just “was.”  That indifference was very foreign and it scared me.

After basically sitting on the grass and trying (and failing) to really talk to each other, we got back into Rex’s truck and drove into the small town that is just down the road from the farm to get some McDonalds.  The ride there was very uncomfortable.  Me and Rex knew that Ted was still in his bad trip state, but by that time I was beginning to question if I was having a bad trip or not.  We barely spoke a word all the way there and all the way back.

By the time we got back, it was getting dark outside, and I started to realize that the effects were wearing off.  It had been about 4 and a half hours since we ate the shrooms.  Inside the cabin, I tried to eat some of the food but it just wouldn’t go down.  I was still in a weird state of mind, but I was beginning to get some rational thoughts back.  After giving up on trying to eat, I went outside and wanted to start a fire.  As I was collecting wood, I really started to get back to normal.  However, Ted was still not quite back.  He would stand there and look at me, and all of the sudden blurt out “What? Wait…Oh shit…” and that’s it.  We couldn’t get anything else out of him.  Then he started saying some crazy stuff, like he had had the feeling we were going to rob him of something.  Me and Rex just looked at each other and didn’t know what to say.  Rex was getting a little pissed off at him because he was being so ridiculous, but I was just worried that I was never going to get my friend back to normal.

I got a fire going, and sat there by myself next to it for a while, finally realizing I was almost completely back to normal.  Rex and Ted were inside the cabin, doing what, I didn’t know, so I decided to go check on them.  I walked in, and they were sitting in chairs, kind of just looking at each other.  I laughed, somewhat uneasily, and asked them how they felt.  “Man, that was insane,” Rex said and I agreed.  I told them that I was back to normal, and Rex said he was almost completely back.  Ted was still pretty quiet, but I could tell he was coming back.

Rex decided to go to bed after that, but me and Ted went back out and sat by the fire.  After about 30 minutes, Ted was completely back, but we both were still just dumbfounded as to what had happened.  We took a walk around the farm and talked about it, then sat next to the fire some more and talked about it, and basically came to the conclusion that we all had just had our minds blown, and that’s why it was so weird.  We stayed up and caught up on stuff, as I hadn’t seen the kid for a few months, then decided to go to bed.

So that’s my story.  Sorry it took so long, but it felt really good to write it.  In closing, I would like to say that shrooms can be fun, but they can also be dangerous.  I think it was Timothy Leary who called psychedelic drugs like shrooms and LSD “psychological dynamite.” And that’s the best term I’ve heard for them.  They are great for opening your mind to new thoughts and ideas and views, but sometimes those thoughts can be very bizarre and even scary.  I haven’t done shrooms since then (been about 4 months).  I would definatley do them again, as I feel like I gained some really good experience from that trip.  I feel more confident now, and I think that confidence is important.  My advice to anyone who wants to trip is this: do it with good friends, in a good environment, at a good time.  But even that is not a guarantee that you won’t have some scary experiences, as I was with two of my best friends in a great environment, and still have some aspects of a bad trip.  It’s a gamble, but I think no matter what, you will walk away with something that you didn’t have before.  Even if it is a bad trip, don’t let it scare you away…bad trips can reveal some very important information to you that maybe you weren’t paying attention to before, and by confronting some of the issues you may face in a bad trip, you can gain a lot of good.  Thanks for reading.