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It Just Is.

Reality as a single, evolving sound.



Its around 11 last night and my friend texts me saying he left a bar because it was boring, and two seconds later there is a knock at my door. I was half asleep at the time, and the knock did nothing to really wake me up fully.

We got to talking and decided to eat what was left of my cubensis mushrooms. I wanted to test out the capsules I had been working on, so we got out the mortar and pestle and ground up thirty pills, filled each pill with .4g dried. It didnt take too long, and we decided to try dosing 5 pills each, which we calculated should add to about 2g dried. Then we waited, watching a mushroom hunting DVD I recently got. After almost an hour, we had both realised that we werent feeling much at all. So we dosed 5 more each, which we calculated to have added up to 10 pills at .4 grams a piece. 4g dried cubensis total. Another hour goes by and we realise that we still arent feeling much at all. My friend was at a high level 1 (he said he was getting some slight visuals) and I felt just a slight bodily high. We gave it another 20 minutes and I decided that either my tolerance had gotten the best of the trip, so I took some sleeping tabs and decided that it was time to hit the sack. At this point, I was no higher than a level 1, 2 hours in.

I crawled into bed, shut my bedroom television off after finishing up a movie my girlfriend had been watching and tried to sleep. Within about 10 minutes of sitting in complete darkness, the trip came on like a freight train. I felt the rush of color whether my eyes were closed or open. I laid there for a little while, figuring that the sleeping pills would make me sleep. They didnt.

Soon, I was in the full throes.

The full trip came on around this time. I was laying on my back in silent darkness. I began to be unable to tell whether my eyes were open or closed. Then the sound came. This sound is almost indescribable, as I have almost nothing to compare the sound to in waking life. It was almost as if I was hearing a modem connecting, but the sound was much wider. Much bigger. And it did not contain the polluting noise of a working modem. It was almost like the sound you may hear when a huge, tought rope of steel begins to move on itself. Deep, angular cuts of metal on metal, only it sounded organic. As if the sound eminated from something alive. Organic. The feeling was as though I was inside of some monstrous cylinder by which the massive sound bounced and echoed through me. After a few moments (or years) of hearing this sound, I saw something I cannot explain. It seemed grey and brown and viscous. Although I was far away from it, it took of the majority of my "vision".  It came down from overhead, behind, above and to my right. It seemed to take up almost half my vision when I could get a good look at it, but I somehow knew that I was only seeing a miniscule portion of it. It seemed to have scales, but they were not scales. The "skin" of it looked grey and wet, and seemed to undulate even though I could not witness the movements of something so huge. The scales, if that is what they were, looked like pyramid growths of tan-brown. Closeley resembling a pyramid, with the top half chopped off. I only saw one of these. The biggest thing I could bring out of this first experience was "its alive".

Still in complete silence and complete darkness, my eyes flew open. I found myself unable to concentrate on any of the real shapes that occupied the room. I found it harder still to keep my eyes OPEN, even though I desperately tried to over the course of the next events that transpired. After leaving the "vicinity" of the sound and whatever "creature" I had just seen, my eyes drifted shut again and I figured I may be able to sleep. Reality had another thing waiting for me.

It started as a couple random thoughts. Those thoughts seemed to grow exponentially in context and in internal volume. It felt like I was being assaulted on all sides by my own thoughts, which began to move so quickly through me that no single thought remained. External stimulus became triggers for momentous events in my mind. The rustling of the covors as my girlfriend moved, a car alarm that beeped its horn just one time. All of it became like waves crashing over my psyche. I lost myself in it. Soon, a single sound would happen and it would recur thousands and thousands of times in my ears. Not like a looping sound, but as an infinite evolution of that single sound. It was like taking machine-gun fire of a single, pure sound. Even my thoughts got jumbled into the barrage, and got swept away in it. My eyes kept drifting open, but I still could not keep them open.

Soon, I started to come to. The first thing I could think was that I wanted a bowl of cereal. I went into the living room and found my friend on the chair, passed out. As soon as I passed him, he asked if I was okay. My words were mumbled and hoarse.

We began to talk about what had transpired and the more we spoke of our individual trips, we realised that we had experienced nearly the same thing. He had heard the organic, high pitched uplink sound. He had been barraged by the evolutions of single external stimuli like machine gun fire on fast forward. We attempted to analyse it, talking about what it could have been, or meant, but the only thing we could come it up with was that "it just is."

Soon, as dawn came, we retired to our respective sleeping quarters in the hopes we would hear the sounds again. I did not. It was as if the more we looked into it, tried to work it out, the farther away it became.

Though this report comes nowhere close to the full extent and power of what I experienced, this is the best that I could put into words.

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Our conversations came up with a few key thoughts:

"Our minds as an infinitely blossoming flower on fast forward."
"A single bit of information, if you look deeper, is made of even more information. There is no source."
"Madness. Pure madness."
"What if, at the same time we were swimming in that chaos, a quantum physicist was looking into a pool of energy and seeing random ions of energy flittering through at random. What if those ions were us?"
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