This trip happened last night, so I want to put it in words before it fades anymore than it already has. I'm not usually one much for writing, but I have to try. Although I will in no way be able to convey how amazing this experience was.
So I had an ounce a few weeks ago for me and my friends. All that was left was a whole lot of crumbs in the bag. I figured 'what the hell', I had no idea how many grams were in there because I'm used to sorting out caps and stems and usually have a good idea of how much I'm taking. A good trip for me is usually 1-2g. In hind sight, I'm thinking that last night I must have eaten 4-5g.
So at 8:30 I down the crumbs. The whole time I'm thinking, 'I hope I did enough to give me a good trip'. Little did I know what was in store for me. Every other time I did shrooms I did them with a bunch of friends and it's always been an awesome time. But I've been wanting to do them by myself just to experience the full effect of what they have to offer with no distractions.
So at about 9 I feel the first effects, slight mood change and my arms and hands were starting to feel strange. At this time I was still sitting at my computer having a beer, listening to some Pink Floyd and watching a cool visualization on windows media player. I decide I had better pour myself some water and move to the living to get comfortable. I also proceded to down a vitamin C pill and drink some orange juice, as this is suppose to intesify the trip I've heard.
I turn on my PS3 for some music and darken the room, the only light is my TV and this very cool projector the shoots green moving stars all over the ceiling(this thing by the way is amazing, everybody I've shown it to is awe of it, check it out here, http://www.spencergifts.com/product/Star-Laser/
). So I get comfortable on my sofa with a pillow and blanket and procede to listen to some mellow music and stargaze so to speak. Not long after I start to realize that my trip is getting pretty intense, my mood was especially altered at this time. I was feeling somewhat scared that my trip might turn bad and I was it would just level out.
About another 30-45mins go by and I realize that my trip is just getting more and more intense. I'm pretty sure it was around 10:00 at this point and I'm thinking that I really should move to my bedroom casue I had the feeling that at the rate I was going It was going to be the most intense trip I've had to date. I was feeling anxious and a little scared. I just kept saying to myself 'It's all in my head, I just took a drug' and that would seem to calm me down for a short while. At this time I realize the my whole living room was doing some very strange things. It was like the room was coming alive. My PS3 was still playing music and anyone who has one knows how cool the visualizer of the Earth is. But for me it was starting to do some really weird things and I decide that the music was getting a little too intense as well. I get up thinking that I don't want to be all fucked up on the sofa cause if my roommate comes upstairs later it would probably freak me out.
On my way to the bedroom I stopped to get more water in the kitchen. I was then that I notice that the floor in the kitchen was not only moving, but it was like I could see through the floor. I see what appears to be liquid coming up to the floor and then spreading out underneath it as if I was looking through glass. I also start to see faces in the liquid, everything I'm seeing is the same color as the floor but it was like the faces were riding the liquid up to the floor and were staring at me before washing away. The whole floor was doing this and the best I can describe the faces would be that of some tiny wooden creatures with menacing faces, but the whole time I didn't feel scared of this, I remember saying 'Holy fuck, that's just awesome'. lol
Once I got into bed is when things really started to get intense. My whole bedroom started to come alive, the walls were losing their normal shape and were twisting and bubbling and I was starting to have very strong visions. It was at this point the was really getting scared. It felt like I was losing all control over my body, my vision was becoming really fucked up and things were really disjointed and everything I tried to look at was not what is was supposed to be. My breathing was the biggest thing on my mind, I was feeling like it was taking all my concentration just to keep breathing. My throat my feeling tight and dry. I remember looking at the clock and it was 10:35 and again after what felt like an hour later it said it was only 10:38, I couldn't comprehend that only 3 minutes had passed. I was starting to become so scared that I might die that I was just wanting the trip to end. I remember in my last moments of cognitive thought that I couldn't move my body anymore. I was seeing all the walls of my room and everything in it, strecthing upwards, morphing into other shapes and were stretching, arching over me and coming down and taking over my body until I couldn't move and not long after I wasn't even aware of myself. I eventually became unsure whether I was thinking or I myself was being thought. It is very hard to describe what I was a part of at this point. The images that I was seeing are almost beyond imagination. As my Self separated from its biological shackles, and overflowed its confining boundaries, my ego was shattered and I lost myself. Thus I became what I had always been; pure, radiating Awareness. Universal Consciousness. I saw visions (in my minds eye) of seemingly cosmic origins and I seemed to be remembering forgotten knowledge from times long passed.
For the next 3 hours, I bounced back and forth, from long trips into this other world to short waking spells where I could see the time and drink some water before I was off again. The world that I was visiting was full of wonder. It was full of all kinds of entities that were seemingly uninterested in me. But at the same time I felt that I was one of them. I felt that this world has always been there and always would be, it was full of the most amazing colors and fractal paterns that no words can describe. It was at this point that I realized that I was not afraid anymore, I wasn't afraid of anything, not even dying. This world I was in felt like it was from before time, like my mind had crossed over to another dimension and I was in absolute awe of it. I was filled with flows of mystical and meaningful emotions. At some points I could hear my physical voice saying over and over 'It's So Beautiful', but my voice seemed like it was a million miles years away, kinda muffled like when you're under water. The creatures of this world were astounding, the only things I could possibly compare then to would be, faeries, elves, gnomes and other creatures which defy description. I remember feeling filled with something so great, so much bigger than me, It was as if I had unlocked all the secrets of the Universe. I remember openly weeping in awe of the beauty that I was a part of.
Tears in my eyes, I was again overwhelmed by revelations, and I realized I was never alone, for I knew that I was infinite, immortal and connected to all beings and all life. I was stroked with waves of spiritual euphoria, for I felt the Life of everything. I WAS the Life of everything, I was in a warm state of euphoric bliss and I'll never forget it as long as I live.
After this it became clear to me that, behind the thin veil of the Human ego, all Reality, and this whole life, is a never ending mystical experience. The Universe is but a cosmic being exploring itself, learning about itself and enjoying its own existence through all creatures, and all things, in an infinite dance of Life, and like a fractal tendril you are a minute part of it, and you are All of it...