Now I'm pretty sure that the vodka was a misake. My head seems to think it isn't in my skull right now, but that's pretty much bound to be the alcohol hangover, right?
Had about 20g fresh cambodian.
It all started off well. Slight traces, nice colours, etc. Then I had to go and harvest more... probably another 10g fresh, and sat there popping a small pile of 2 inch shrooms. Picking one at random and eating it like a Roman eating a grape. "Pass me more vodka!"
I'm sure I should be remembering more about what actually happened, but the overwhelming sensation is that of having explored my own limits of wrong and found myself wanting. Or to put it another way - I really didn't realise quite how wrong I was until last night. Imagining, suggesting and doing things that were quite agressive and violent with a lovely smile on my face and love in my heart. Wanting to evicerate the cat to see what lovely shapes and colours I could make out of the entrails. But not actually doing any of it. Pretty/disturbing - take your pick.
I do remember thinking at one point, "So this is why they're illegal. God take it away. Where's zero? Whats normal please?" I'd describe it as a k-hole with the ability to move about.
It took a lot of effort trying to remember/distinguish what I could and couldn't do. I could make tea, but I couldn't get it right. I couldn't go outside and scream to such a high pitch that my eyes fell out, although I really wanted to. There were lots of these urges:
"go and get the hammer and nails now..."
"clothes are rubbish. get them off me get them off me get them off me..."
"where are the cigaretts? please I just want a cigarette. why can't I have a cigarette. it's not fair I want a cigarette... I''m going to the shop..."
"I demand a cuddle... but don't toutch me"
"I can't move but if I could I'd walk staright into that wall and not stop until I got to the other side... I know I could do that..."
All in all I'm really not sure what to make of any of it. Was is a good trip? On balance, yes. I actually really enjoyed myself and can't wait to do it again but I'd really like to avoid the 2/3 bottle of vokda next time