A year or two ago we decided to try some fly agaric. Unfortunately I can’t remember the exact amounts used or the entire experience but feel it was life-changing enough to be explained best I can.
If memory serves me right we had 4 medium caps (may have been more) that were dried in an oven on the lowest setting with the door ajar for an hour or two. This dried material was then ground up in a blender and brewed just below simmer for 30-60mins. This was achieved by stirring the liquid as soon as it bubbled –to cool. A digital thermometer would work great here and 170-200F is the temp needed for the ibotenic into muscimol reaction to happen. NO HIGHER as this will destroy the compounds.
The ‘soup’ already had a magical aura as we made it –gazing into it one could see a multitude of colours like a swirling galaxy of stardust.
Three of us drank one cup, we waited an hour and with no effects noticeable two of us drank another (the third person was my girlfriend and I didn’t want to cause her any danger until I knew first-hand about the effects/dosage). I had tried to abstain from other drugs and alcohol the night before but as was customary at the time my will power hadn’t lasted and I was feeling a little worse for wear from the night before shall we say. I will steer well clear of such practices in the future.
My girlfriend reported little effects from the one cup other than feeling ‘a little happy’ and my other friend had to go home because of his girlfriend having a duck fit about this and that. When I met him again he said he felt very little, other than a few disturbing visions and a long, dreamy sleep. He had been heavier on the substances than me the night before however.
So I was sat there at my friend’s house thinking ‘Am I feeling anything yet?’ and looking about the room for any sign. 3D perception picked up a little (whereby the focus of the telly and the wall behind it was noticeable so that it seemed a great distance –or at least I could really tell the distance) and the ceiling and walls seemed to brighten up in colour, with everything a tiny bit hazy (sort of like your average mild trip). Things did seem a little different to psilicybe mushrooms however.
Then it really kicked in.
I was looking up at the furthest corner of the room wondering why it was interesting me so. I noticed that I could really make out everything in that little corner like I was zoomed in on it with a mega telescope or such like. I begin to notice a sort of predator like invisible fly (or spaceship?) weaving about in that little corner and came to realise I could see what was in that little space but can’t usually be seen.
Then it spread, shimmers came down the old woodwork and worked their way across the wooden top of the fireplace and towards me. Sort of like the wood was breathing and still very much alive. This kept happening sometimes being the focus of the side of the fireplace, top of telly etc but very much the woodwork. This pulsing/breathing was always in a small area but travelled in a line around the features of the room and towards me. I noticed throughout though that I seemed to have an aura about me that nothing I saw could enter, this filled me with confidence whereas such happenings would usually terrify. Afterwards friend’s reported that I was sat there looking this way and that way all over the room at things moving which of course they found strange.
There was a crashing and a banging and all the floorboards and wood (on show) holding the upstairs started creaking. I looked up and there seemed to be a strong wind of spectre like coloured clouds passing through the house, this I interpreted as radio/gamma rays and the like that pass through our atmosphere unseen by us, or other non-humanoid entities.
I very much got the feeling I could see things that are always there but we usually don’t detect. The house I was in was poorly maintained, my friends mother had about a dozen cats and round the edges of the carpets I could see loads of invisible things jumping in an arc from left to right etc –just as fleas do. Like the ‘fly’ I first saw it was predator like in that I couldn’t see it/them but it’s movement. There seemed to be a lot of little black dots whisping and flying about, small creatures, entities, space ships I even thought, or part of a bigger entities that I could not fully make out.
I got a strange feeling that there was another entity in the room, or looking down on us, not ghost/god like but like an alien form conducting research on how we live. There seemed to be hundreds of tiny flashes from the curtains and other spots that I thought were miniature reconnaissance teams recording what was going on. This thought of something there watching us without us knowing it disturbed me somewhat.
I could just make out a hazy, ethereal, roughly humanoid figure in the corner of the room and got a feeling like it wasn’t too happy I could see it. I could feel my aura protecting me but felt the need to reassure myself in my mind anyway as I have seen a ghostly entity before that was less than friendly and such thoughts helped me in that situation (another story!). I thought similar thoughts of ‘I’m an honest lad who tries to be good to all so surely good will protect me from any evil’ or something along those lines when all of a sudden…
I felt some invisible force throttle me and throw me back in my chair as if to say ‘don’t take the piss’, sounds scary but it was not, I got the feeling this was the wrath of god (I’m not very religious by the way).
Then with a puff of smoke two stone tablets with curved tops (just like in the bible) then appeared in the air before me with a transcription starting "The honest man..." A booming stereotypical god-like voice then spoke "He the honest man who shall live..." and followed with a short passage, sentence describing what will come of the honest man.
Unfortunately my short-term memory is terrible (too many ecstasy tablets over the years no doubt) and straight away and now still I cant remember the exact words except for it was very biblical and extremely meaningful ‘The righteous path of the honest man’ or such like.
Eventually I decided to venture to the kitchen (I had been sat in back in an armchair the whole time) to prepare more fly agaric. On the wall by the door on the way out the room was a picture of my friend’s little brother with a cheeky grin dressed in Victorian attire. As I passed it and glanced at it the face should it’s head to the side and gave me a wink! I turned round laughing to explain this to my friend’s but in my head I interpreted this as a sign of the ‘third eye’ –one eye looking into the world around us, the closed eye looking into the soul.
I turned back to head through the door but as I passed into the dining room a non-threatening, welcoming even, middle-aged man (with short brown hair, brown beard and brown clothing) was stood in the corner and beckoned me in with his arms. I got the distinct feeling this was a meeting with god and turned back apprehensive and a little shocked.
As I headed back into the dining room this figure was gone as if to allay my fears. I headed into the kitchen and began trying to prepare more muscaria. The pulses I was on about at the beginning started coming down the worktop towards me but stronger and larger, one even threw me off balance. There was a stool in the corner of the room and I could make out a 13/14-year-old lad sat there with his elbow on his knee and supporting his face with his hand. He wore a baseball cap, had a piercing stare and grin, I interpreted this as the devil as it was not friendly.
An entity seemed to loom behind me and was pushing into me throwing me off balance. This was much bigger than the entity before but the same white light, I could only make it out quickly in the corner of my eye. Still the boy in the corner stared and grinned.
Becoming quiet distressed I turned to go and fetch my girlfriend to be with me but as I turned she came up to my face as if to make me jump (‘Boo!’ type thing) then disappeared. I interpreted this as the malevolent spirit messing with my mind.
I managed to clamber back to the front room and fetch my girlfriend to come be with me (which she couldn’t see why was so absolutely necessary). There was still a presence in the kitchen, the boy in the corner faded in and out but as long as I could SEE my girlfriend, I wasn’t attacked again.
I have little memory of what happened after this; suffice to say slowly the breathing walls etc. died down. All this seemed to last an hour or so but in fact it was several. I felt I had witnessed a world that is always there but we can usually not see and my perspective of the world has changed forever more.
For weeks after I got the little black ‘whisps’ flying about on rare occasions, like I could just make out something moving which cannot usually be seen. This reminded me of the world opened up by the fly agaric is always there; you just usually cannot make it out.
Psilicybe mushrooms are definitely spiritual but this opened the door to a whole different ‘good and evil’, holy or whatever world. And also a world where you sense all that is going on in the space around you. It is said humans can only sense a small percentage of the universe around them (examples, radio waves, microscopic beings to start with and of course other dimensions etc etc) this mushroom opens the mind up the a lot more, maybe not all, but a lot more.
These mushrooms are not to be messed with. I seriously do not recommend you take them without friends with you, but a lot can be learned about yourself and the world around us if you pay them the RESPECT they deserve. They are not for recreational use.
Personally, I don’t know if I could manage the whole ‘death and re-born’ experience… this was intense enough and there was no vomiting or deep sleep as is reportedly usually the case