Oh, man, I ate the whole bag.

This happened around two or three weeks ago.


It was around 5:00PM on a friday night. I'm graduated from school, meaning the only thing I have to focus on is my fulltime job. I had the next two days off, which I planned on relaxing and hanging out with my group of friends as much as possible. I was laying in the living room on the couch watching tv, being extremely tired/lazy. I could hear my cellphone vibrating on the wood from my computer desk down the hall in my room. Since it was vibrating on the wood, it was loud enough for me to hear it, (thank god). As I got up from my couch and walking into my room, I grabbed my phone to see it read, "1 new TXT message!". I clicked, 'Read Now', it was from one of my best friends named, Robby. The Text Message said, "Hey, johnny, what are you doing tonight? If you aren't doing anything, I can get us some mushrooms". Now, for the past few months I had been baggin' on Robby that I wanted to try mushrooms. We drink every Friday and Saturday night at our friend, Nick's house. Everytime we get drunk, or simply hang out there, I always mention how terribly I wanted to try mushrooms. Robby would always laugh and say, "yeah, I know you do, man. We'll get some soon, I promise". I was so happy when I read that Text Message I immediately replied with, "how much, and when can you get them!?". He said that they'd be 30 dollars each, seeing as how we were both going to get an eighth to ourselves. I told him I was going to shower, help my parents really fast, and i'd be over to pick him up within the hour. 

I quickly showered, helped my parents, and I was out the door and on my way to his house within 45 minutes. As I pulled up to his house, he was already outside waiting on his porch. He climbed into my truck and began calling our drug dealer. Robby talked on the phone with him for only about a minute or so. He hung up his cellphone and told me where to go in order to meet this kid. We pulled up at one of our local parks, (everyone gets drunk there, whether you're underage or not, the cops will drive-by and won't do anything. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. I've been drunk/high there plenty of times before). The kid came over to my window, I rolled it down, and he said, "do you have the money?", I pulled out my money, and Robby gave me his. As I handed him the sixty dollars, he handed me two bags full of dried mushrooms. He counted his money, said, "enjoy" and casually walked back towards his car. As I rolled up my window, I looked at Robby and began laughing. He asked me what was so funny and I replied with, "well, god. He acted exactly like the drug dealers do on the movies. Haha, so extremely stupid", Robby began laughing, and started examining each bag carefully. As we drove off, we started discussing where we were going take the mushrooms at.

We eventually decided we'd take them at our friend, Nick's house. He's the same age as we are, (19), but he got a 17 year old slut pregnant, and married her too. They are far too immature to be raising a family this early in their lives, so they fight and argue 24/7. Their arguing is enough to make me want to kill myself when i'm sober, let alone when i'm trippin' balls on mushrooms. We both knew damn well what we were getting ourselves into by taking mushrooms at Nick's house, but we decided to do it anyway. Once we got there, we went upstairs to see Nick sitting on his couch playing GTA4 on his Big Screen/XBOX 360. We showed him what we had, and he grabbed them and said, "so, you finally got your hands on some, huh?" we nodded our heads, (I had the biggest smile on my face i'm sure). He laughed and told us he was really excited to be with us when we were tripping. We went over the ground rules with him as we poured ourselves a glass of Orange Juice, (because we all know shrooms go better with juice). The only rule was absolutely NO arguing with his wife at any time during the night. He agreed and asked if it was okay if he got drunk tonight since we were going to be tripping. We were kind of iffy about the idea of him being drunk, seeing as how they argue the most when those two are drunk, but we had no place else to take the shrooms, so, we said it was alright. It was now around 7:30PM, when we finally sat down with our Orange Juice and began rummaging through our bags. We each began eating one at a time. We'd both take a few sips from our Orange Juice everyonce in a while -- dried magic mushrooms don't taste all that great, hahaha. After about 5 minutes, both of our bags were completely empty. We even ate all of the crumbs/flakes that fall of some of the mushrooms. We threw the bags away, drank the rest of our Orange Juice and just relaxed, waiting for the shrooms to begin kicking in.

Well, I eventually got the feeling that I had to shit. So, I let my friends know where I was going, and headed for the bathroom. I sat in there for maybe five minutes without any luck. So, I just took a piss, cleaned up, and walked back out into the living room. As I walked out, Ciera walked up the stairs, (she was sleeping and had just woken up). We told her what we had done, and explained the ground rules to her as well, she agreed. She asked us some questions regarding the mushrooms which we answered, and she just laughed and told us how she'd never be able to take mushrooms due to the fact she can't even eat the actual vegetable. We told her they don't even compare to real mushrooms, but she just said, "whatever, I still can't even muster the thought of eating those things". After It was about 7:55 when I started feeling the drop. (My friends and I call it the, "drop" because of the pressure you feel on the top of your spine when the mushrooms start to kick in. It's sort of an inside joke between us). I told Robby how I was feeling the drop already, and once he started to think about it, he could feel it too. He was amazed because most of the time he doesn't start feeling the drop until about 50 minutes after taking the mushrooms.

After we started to feel the drop, we started to get the giggles. I'm talking an extremely large case of the giggles too. Nick could simply crash his car, or pick a fight on GTA4, and it'd send Robby and I into a sea of laughter. Everyone looked like they had sunburns due to the fact we were all sitting on their bright red couch, and we were all blending into it, as if we were all some sort of chameleons. I mentioned that to everyone, but only Robby and I started laughing. He said he could see it too, but Nick and Ciera just looked at each other with confused looks. Well, everything was going just fine, until Nick spotted Ciera texting someone on their cellphone. (They are both extremely picky/jealous people. If they see one another talking to someone else, it doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl, they always ask, "who was that?" or, "who are you talking to?"). Nick asked who she was talking to, and she replied with, "well, to be honest, Nick, i'm looking for someone to sell me some weed. I know that you know I used to smoke before I got pregnant, and i've been craving some like crazy lately. And seeing Robby and Johnny do mushrooms, just makes me want it even more". Nick immediately got angry and they began to argue about it. They weren't really yelling, but they had that angry tone in their voices as they talked, which was making me feel extremely uncomfortable. Ciera got up and walked in the direction of their bathroom, and Nick said, "where are you going?", Ciera replied with, "to the bathroom. Do you always have to know where i'm going?" Nick then replied with, "yeah, actually I fucking do!". Robby and I looked at each with worried faces -- we both knew that if the night kept up like this, we'd both be knee deep in a bad trip. 

Ciera came back out of the bathroom and said, "who used the bathroom last?" I told her that it was me, and she said, "come here from a second". I asked here why she wanted me to go to the bathroom with her, but she just said, "just come here" in a serious tone, and walked down the hall towards their bathroom. Now, with me being on shrooms for the very first time, their arguing, and her serious tone, was making me extremely worried that I had maybe broken something while I was trying to shit earlier that night. I got up off of the couch and slowly walked into the bathroom. On my walk to the bathroom I though to myself, 'maybe I accidently missed the toilet when I shit earlier." and as I walked into the bathoom, I guess it was my mind playing tricks on me because I could instantly smell shit.  I asked her what she wanted, and she said, "let me see your hand". I gave it to her, and she brought me closer to the toilet, and slowly pulled my hand onto the handle of the toilet and pressed down, flushing the toilet using my hand. I was extremely confused and she said, "you guys NEVER flush the toilet when you're here, so I decided to make you flush it this time". I instantly let out a HUGE sigh of relief and walked back out into the living room, telling her to never do that again. We explained what had happened, and even Robby let out a sigh. I guess he too thought that I had broken something, or at least something was wrong in there. This was when I finally knew that the mushrooms were finally in full-effect.

Nick and Ciera began arguing some more about his wife wanting to get some weed. So, Robby and I felt it was best if we went outside in order to get away from their bad vibes. Unfortunately it was too late for me. I was already experiencing a bad trip. Once we got ouside, the trees that's in their front yard began bothering me. They began merging together, making extremely creepy shapes/shadows etc. I noticed my breathing picking up, and I began to panic. I told Robby that I had to go back inside, and he told me to wait until he finished his cigarette, but I just ran inside and ignored him. As I was going up their stairs back towards their living room, Ciera and Nick were coming down the stairs. They asked me where I was going, and I said, "upstairs to lay on the couch for a second". I heard one their front door open and shut, thinking they both went outside. About a second later, I could hear one of them doing something downstairs, (Nick was going through his closet trying to find a jacket). I started hearing an extremely loud pounding noise. I shouted, "hey, what in the fuck are you hitting down there?". When I got no reply I sat up off of the couch and realized it was Evany, (their daughter) banging one of her toys into those wooden gates that stop children from going into certain rooms, or down the stair. It was so strange because in reality the noise produced from her banging her toy would of been almost un-noticable, but while on shrooms it sounded like a jackhammer right in my face. This strangeness only made my bad trip amplify. I quickly jumped up, and ran down their stairs and outside again. They were all outside, (except Nick who was still in his room), and I told them I was having a bad trip. Robby told me to calm down, and began telling me funny stories and jokes, (the usual thing he does when he's having a bad trip). I began laughing like I was earlier when we had the giggles. We sat out there on his front porch for what seemed like hours to Robby and I telling jokes and laughing, but in reality it was probably only about five minutes. 


We decided to go for a walk and experience some nature. Nick said okay, and that he'd be drinking once we got back, (thankfully Ciera couldn't get any weed that night anyways. That's the only reason they didn't argue for the rest of the night). We walked all around town for what I thought was around four hours, but when I pulled my cellphone out and looked at the time, it had only been ten minutes since we left Nick's house. I couldn't believe how badly time gets destorted when you're shroomin'. We walked around for about an hour in real time, seeming like 10 in psychedelic time, before we finally decided to venture back to Nick's house. Once we got back Evany was fast asleep, Nick was drunk, and Ciera was knitting some blanket for Evany. We decided to put some music on, and just chill at his house for the rest of the night. We listening to Trophyscars, Circa Survive, The Mars Volta, Portugal. The Man, The Beatles, and Pink Floyd. The music was so amazing, I can't even begin to describe how it made me feel. In fact, I can't describe a lot of things I felt that night. The nature walk was so amazing, it has really changed my life. Nick eventually passed out, Ciera eventually went to bed, and by now it was 3 in the morning. Robby and I were still shrooming pretty good, so, we decided to go sit out on Nick's front porch again. We just sat and bullshitted for the next two hours before the effects of the shrooms were finally gone. We talked about past girls, our lives, how long we've been friends, what we plan to do with our lives, our band and how we can't wait to start touring our state. It was such an awesome experience that not only did I share with myself, but with one of my best friends, Robby.

That was my very first time doing mushrooms. I haven't done them since, but I plan to again, very, very soon.

This time, we won't do them at Nick's house. We love that kid, but he seriously has a lot of issues he has to work out with his wife.