Night in hell.

It all started when my friend Nick and his girlfriend Chelsea came over. We smoked a couple bowls and I was baked off my ass.

First mistake: I decide to do the shrooms (Dried Copelandia Cyanescens). I was baked out of my skull and didn't know what I was doing, didn't have a scale so I said fuck it and started trying to grind the dried mush into powder which didn't work.

Second mistake: I read .8 grams = about a teaspoon so I just stuffed a bunch of shrooms in a teaspoon which didn't make any sense. I stuffed at least 10 of them in there. So I'm pretty sure it was more than a gram like I wanted but I didn't care.

So I chewed them up with some sprite and some from the bag ended up on the floor. Probably around 4. Nick said "Dude you dropped some." and I just shrugged and he ended up eating them because he was stoned. (I didn't know he ate them until later.)

So about 20 minutes later I'm tripping. I saw some cool shit. But then it started getting bad. Nick just wants pussy from Chelsea and she's really wierd, they kept arguing about if Nick would hook up with another girl if he was stoned and that put me in a bad mood.

I started thinking it was all a fucking soap opera and Nick just tried to manipulate her and Chelsea has mental problems.

I was sitting in the corner of my room talking about how I'm a raving lunatic. It wa slike I was sitting inside my head while they were just oblivious to me, and I tried explaining but to me I sounded insane. I just kept saying "You guys just htink I'm a fucking raving lunatic."

Then it got bad when my mom knocked on the door and said "Nicks mom is coming." in a distressed tone. She was coming to get Chelsea to bring her home because Nick was sleeping over. I freaked and told them I was going to pretend to be asleep and Nick just kept trying to tell me to go out there because he thought I could act sober enough when I was actually around level 3-4. (On my first trip lol) He gave me a hard time for a minute then he finally went out into the living room.

So then he comes back in and they're gone. By this point nick starts tripping and forgot he ate shrooms so he's like "Dude I've never been this stoned."

Then hell broke loose. I started thinking about everyone, my family and friends, and they were all conspiring against me. They all thought I was a dick and hated me. I saw every single flaw in my personality. And then me and Nick started talking about it, and he doesn't really like other drugs than pot so he started going on about how he didn't like it but I could tell he wasn't in a bad trip. Then he started being a dick and fucking around and telling me my eyes were crossing and shit. So at this point I was in hell.

I told him we needed to try and sleep to get out of it and sober up. Ha. Fat chance. He eventually closed his eyes and shut up after repeated "Shut the fuck up dude!" from me.

This was the worst part. Silence. Insanity. Never ending. I was so convinced it would never end and I would change forever. My parents always tell me psychedelics can change people so I started freaking. I KNEW I was going to be wallowing in despair for the rest of my life insane. I thought "This is how those fucking insane people got insane." I didn't want to live like that. I thought about killing myself twice last night, along with destroying the rest of the mushrooms. But luckily I would slip back into reality for just enough time to realize that if I could just hold on the rest of the night I could have a chance.

I layed down for hours, every minute was an hour in hell. Finally at 2 AM I got up. I looked around and realized I wasn't in a bad trip anymore. In fact I was so happy, I looked out my window at the river and started to cry with joy. Everything was so beautiful. I wanted to run upstairs and wake up my mom and dad and tell them how much I loved them. Then I realized how stupid I was to think I could handle anything. I hope no one ever has to go through what I had to go through. It isn't like any physical pain you will ever experience. You can't get away from this. You can't go to sleep, you can't shake it off. It's the feeling of being insane.

I feel it was a good experience. It taught me, and I know now that they aren't somethign to mess around with and setting is everything.

Be careful with drugs, they can get scary.

I'm going to continue on my psychedelic path, but with double the caution.