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 Hix
Animal Mother
Registered: 02/20/06
Posts: 299
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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 DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE 
#6559810 - 02/12/07 08:56 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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So I have a drug test to pass this weekend and I'm desperate for something that works. There's not way in hell that I'm going to pass it so I need a for sure way to pass. I can't order anything out of a catalog or out of the internet, so I need some home remedies, or something from GNC or some shit like that. Please help me guys I'm fucked if I don't pass this thing. I need to know something that will for sure let me pass this test. THC is the only thing I have to worry about though.
BTW- this is a urine test
Edited by Hix (02/12/07 09:04 PM)
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Phishe
Lysergic Bliss
Registered: 01/21/06
Posts: 2,908
Loc: Planet Earth
Last seen: 7 months, 26 days
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: Hix]
#6559881 - 02/12/07 09:14 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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You can drink a lot of water until your pee is diluted, and then take some vitamins(i think B is the one) to make your pee yellow again.
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EquilibriuM
dream stalker
Registered: 07/17/05
Posts: 2,323
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: Phishe]
#6559897 - 02/12/07 09:17 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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YEP. drink tons of water the day of the test. Urinate at least once before the test and be sure to catch your urine midstream, you want to avoid the beginning and end of the stream...
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HELP!!!!!!!!!
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Hix
Animal Mother
Registered: 02/20/06
Posts: 299
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: EquilibriuM]
#6559910 - 02/12/07 09:20 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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I already got the water thing down but thanks anyways. And what is the difference between the beginning, middle and end of your urine stream? sounds kinda silly to me.
But what I'm looking for is stuff that works, I hear that Golden Seal from GNC converts THC from fat soluble to water soluble, thus easy to get out of the system. I don't know how exactly this works or if it does, so if anyone has anything to verify this i'll give them a virtual blow job or something i don't know.
Edited by Hix (02/12/07 09:22 PM)
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deadendeavor
rust to dust
Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 1,577
Last seen: 19 hours, 39 minutes
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: Hix]
#6559936 - 02/12/07 09:26 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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The only drug-test-drink I've ever tried was this purple drink called "The Stuff" from GNC, and it worked. It's $45, and it comes with a money-back guaruntee. You can't smoke (weed), eat or drink 24 hours prior to drinking it. It may be 12 hours actually. I don't remember but either way, The Stuff works. Fair warning: it tastes horrible and gives you the foulest smelling gas you've ever had, save for maybe mushrooms.
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"We dream of ways to break these iron bars..."
-Thrice
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Hix
Animal Mother
Registered: 02/20/06
Posts: 299
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: deadendeavor]
#6559948 - 02/12/07 09:31 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Unfortunately 45$ is above my budget  , but thanks for the advice I'll have to get some for next time.
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 SuperD
Lophophiend
Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 5,752
Loc: My stash box
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: deadendeavor]
#6559964 - 02/12/07 09:34 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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This is from a post I read yesterday at another forum I visit frequently. Take it for what it's worth. Very interesting read none the less. Good luck on your UA, I hope you do pass.
I know a thing or two about drug tests, specifically urinalysis and follicle. As far as I'm concerned, the debate ended for me after failing my first test. I can only speak to mj (the worst possible habit to have if you ever expect to be tested).
If you're in a job interview and they say something along these lines: "... and you're willing to take a drug test?", to which you reply "Absolutely!": there's a STRONG chance that THAT was the drug test (unless it's for the Gov't, or any vendor that may hold Gov't contracts). A simple rule of thumb: the more sophisticated the test the more it costs your new company to have that test administered. Another good rule: virtually every business is run by one or more cheapskate SOB's. And that's all the good news there is.
This debate never dies. Nothing that exists (or at least existed the last time I bothered looking, 3 years ago) is going to do anything but embarass you.
First obvious indication you are being scammed: the "Double-" or "Triple-Your-Money-Back-Guarantee". Hell, that even sounded like a fair insurance plan to me. So much so that I bought 3 such products in my brilliant plan to beat the first test I failed. Oh well, at least I had about $300 coming back too me on those refunds, right? I was determined - called the mfgr's of each to meet the refund reqt's, and they all said "No problem. Send us your receipt plus positive lab results." THAT even sounded perfectly reasonable, so I drive over to the lab where I submitted the sample. I had a stack of paperwork and receipts from the day they took the sample, but obviously none of that verified the results... When I asked the receptionist, all that was missing was the COPS soundtrack behind all the "double-your-money-back" wise-cracks. And then laughter... Oh Lord why the laughter? When she finally composed herself, she explained in her best "you're fucked" accent that they only give the results paperwork to the party who *PAID* for the test - clearly stated in one of those contracts I signed before pissing my life away in there a week earlier. Want a copy of the results in order to pursue your refund? Pay for the $450 test and retake (fail) it again.
The same theme dominates this debate as well: over-complicated, damn-near medical journal forum post clearly demonstrating "no credible claims from any product, notably the extra-useless Product X...". Followed immediately by a one-sentence reply like "Yo- dude is whack. I toked the bong ON THE WAY to the test, rubbed Product X on my testicles, upper lip and doorknob EXACTLY like the pics on the box showed, and passed 100% clean! Just follow the box pics and you're totally safe - haters suck!"... and the debate just restarts. Potheads...
Here's my simple explanation for all such posts that claim to have successfully beaten ANY test with a product "designed" for that purpose: that person submitted a sample and they never tested it. It really is all that simple and in reality happens all the time. My company, for example, might hire 5 ppl and send then to the lab to submit samples. What no one except the HR Mgr and the Lab knows is that once the 5 samples are collected, only one is then randomly chosen for an actual test to be performed... The other 4 people simply went to the lab to piss in a cup that ends up being tossed as soon as they're out of sight. Cruel, isn't it?
"How do I pass a Parole/Probation Screen?" - you are an idiot for even asking. A sample that's merely flagged 'untestable' (wrong pH, wrong temperature, "congrats sir, you're pregnant", "can you explain how the urine sample you provided to us is horse urine?", etc...) is a one-way ticket to prison, remember? These tests (you know the ones run by Drug Courts for crying out loud) are thorough and sophisticated. The State isn't paying per test - they have so many to do they build their own labs and hire full-time personnel. In other words, those guys know ALL the tricks. On the bright side (whatever), from what I've seen on TV you may be able to trade sex for more drugs once back inside. Wish you luck on that.
"How do I defeat a screening related to a civilian DoD Security Clearance?"- First of all, if you've made it far enough at any company to be considered for a real-deal DoD clearance and there's even a snowball's chance in hell of worry about any type of drug-screening... then congrats, you and I are the only two I've ever heard of. This "drug-test" isn't really a drug test at all, costs your employer upwards of $40,000 and the U.S. taxpayers another $15-20,000.
But seriously, clearances are an entirely different ball of wax. There is no sample to test and no lab - only a polygraph machine and an FBI agent showing up at your office one day asking questions. That 'one day' just happens (unscheduled on purpose to immediately throw you off-guard); usually 10-12 months after you first submit the 4-inch thick form. The key difference and most important thing to remember: they already know the truth about 99% of the questions you are going to be asked. Security clearance has nothing to do with how many, or even specifically which skeletons are in our respective closets. We all have such skeletons - in fact, if you've done an especially good job at hiding your skeletons you probably unknowingly qualified for one of those cool intelligence positions you see in the movies (and I'm not even joking).
Only ONE thing is truly being investigated during a security clearance investigation: whether or not you can be trusted with state secrets, period. Under no circumstances can you allow them to determine otherwise. Only way that will be possible is to be 100% truthful, so start making some tough decisions... And if you're a traitor, just be afraid.
Before volunteering for the clearance investigation, you are given the standard "no worry" assurances: it's a real FBI investigation, however your employer will never be privy to any details, nothing will be held against you as long as you are forthcoming and honest to the best of your ability questions, and finally no reason will be given if you are not granted a clearance when the year-long process concludes. Official denials, you are told, occur frequently and that by Law nothing can be inferred (good or bad) when a civilian is denied a clearance, yada yada yada. However, about 3 minutes after being granted that clearance you discover that all of that is absolute hooey.
If you've mistaken anything on the [4-inch thick] paperwork, or accidently confuse anything during the polygraph: "uh-oh"... 3 years might go by and all you know is that you never heard back about your clearance (and there is nobody you can call to check on it's status). If they *catch* you in a lie, now you're simply fucked with a capital F. Just imagine any crazy-assed tinfoil-hat conspiracy theory and you've essentially described the next 30 years of your life: "Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't following me!" about sums it up.
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Manoa said:
I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin.
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Hix
Animal Mother
Registered: 02/20/06
Posts: 299
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: SuperD]
#6560022 - 02/12/07 09:50 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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I choose to be paranoid, but thanks I guess
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roby000
me
Registered: 02/28/05
Posts: 9,186
Loc: nazi poland
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: Hix]
#6560077 - 02/12/07 10:04 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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with those double your money guarentee which labs do you think are accepted? becuase you can purchase a 15 dollar piss test at albertsons then send the specimen to a lab for a 25 dollar charge and get specific results, now thats like 40 dollars, but if the thing cost 45 dollars to buy (the "detox") you just made 5 bucks! and if its tripple your money you just made 45 bucks! id test this,
the post from super d is accurate...
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DayTripper1
Just a Box ofRain
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 368
Loc: South/East US.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: roby000]
#6560205 - 02/12/07 10:36 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have had much experience with this. My advice: Take green tea extract capsules. water pills, and niacin capsules (500MG) (If you do not have these at your house, do not go and purchase them, they are not a necessity). FLOOD YOURSELF WITH WATER THE DAY BEFORE THE TEST AND THE DAY OF THE TEST (this will cause serve discomfort but you must do it, you should be pissing every 30 min. at least). If the test is a dipstick, then with drinking water you will be able to dilute the THC to were it is undetectable (*and pass). However if they send your urine to a lab (like they do mine) it will just come back saying " water content to high" and you will have to take it over again (THOUGH,IT WILL BUY YOU EXTRA TIME).
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________________
If God controls the land and disease,
keeps a watchful eye on me,
If he's really so damn mighty,
my problem is I can't see,
well who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
~Jay~
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DayTripper1
Just a Box ofRain
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 368
Loc: South/East US.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: DayTripper1]
#6560214 - 02/12/07 10:38 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Is your urine going to be sent to a lab or is it a dipstick?
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________________
If God controls the land and disease,
keeps a watchful eye on me,
If he's really so damn mighty,
my problem is I can't see,
well who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
~Jay~
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udontknowme
Psychonaut
Registered: 04/20/06
Posts: 198
Loc: The Funk Parade
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: DayTripper1]
#6560238 - 02/12/07 10:43 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Best things to do are,
1 Excercise from now till a day or two before to try and burn some fat cells. But stop a day or two before so you stop burning fat
2 1 Cup cranberry juice along with 2 cups water is best just not right before the test.
3 Eat fatty foods the morning of the test. I like to eat a big snickers bar, makes you store fat instead of burning fat
4 Try to stay relatively still for about 15 mins or so before the test. THC is very heavy, so it'll sink to the bottom of your bladder. SO, DON'T start OR stop pissing IN the cup. Piss a little, fill the cup, and then finish.
My job isn't allowed to test us more than twice in a row for an inconclusive test. So if my piss is too water diluted the first day, I drink a lot the next morning cause i know I'll be going for a test again, and give a second inconclusive test, and they have to leave me alone for a while or it's considered harrassment. But I can't neccessarily make a pattern of it obviously.
Good luck
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EquilibriuM
dream stalker
Registered: 07/17/05
Posts: 2,323
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: Hix]
#6560322 - 02/12/07 10:58 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hix said:
I already got the water thing down but thanks anyways. And what is the difference between the beginning, middle and end of your urine stream? sounds kinda silly to me.
But what I'm looking for is stuff that works, I hear that Golden Seal from GNC converts THC from fat soluble to water soluble, thus easy to get out of the system. I don't know how exactly this works or if it does, so if anyone has anything to verify this i'll give them a virtual blow job or something i don't know.
If you had it down, you wouldn't be asking. water works. It isn't rocket science, the urine midstream is less concentrated with toxins then the urine at the beginning and the end of the flow. It wouldn't sound silly if you had done some reading on the subject as opposed to looking for a magic pill.
If your test is soon, don't do any exercise or take anything that will "solubize the thc" this will obviously make concentrations HIGHER in your urine. If the THC is in your fat, you want to keep it there for the test. However if you have a week+ then you can do the diet/exercise/supplement thing.
B complex vitamins will turn your urine yellow, if you think that matters. It probably doesn't. They test for creatinine levels, that is what people are talking about when they say "the test came back 'water content too high' " Creatinine levels were too low. You can supplement creatine to avoid an inconclusive test if you want. Creatine converts to creatinine in your liver also, it is unstable in water so if you mix some creatine in water and let it sit, it will convert to mostly creatinine in a matter of several hours. Then just drink it.
You should learn to take peoples advice a little more seriously and Keep It Simple Stupid.
Always worked for me...
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HELP!!!!!!!!!
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aelephant
Stranger
Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 311
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: EquilibriuM]
#6560561 - 02/12/07 11:44 PM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Almost none of the magic cures work, if any work at all. Drug tests are based on metabolite concentration in the urine (in the case of THC, THC carboxylic acid) and most of the magic cures work by dilution plain and simple. Save some money and drink a ton of water. Take a B vitamin to color the urine. If it is completely clear they may throw it out or ask for another sample. If you take too much water your test might show up inconclusive due to dilution. Since they test creatinine levels in the urine, take creatine and creatinine levels will be higher in your urine (then they will not be able to prove that you diluted).
If you are a chronic smoker THC metabolites can be detected in your urine for over a month. For a single hit it will last anywhere from 2 days to a week. It is not possible to fail a drug test from second hand smoke, so do not even consider that as an excuse. The military conducted an experiment where they locked a bunch of volunteers in a weed-smoke filled room for 6 hours a day for a week and none of them tested positive at the end.
FOOL PROOF METHOD: If you are not being observed attain a urine sample from someone you know is clean. Place the specimen in a condom and tie it shut. Tape the condom to the inside of your thigh. Conceal a needle or other sharp object elsewhere on your person. When the time to test comes puncture the condom and fill the sample cup with the urine from the condom. Depending on how smooth you are and how closely you are being watched this method can work for observed tests as well. Taping the sample close to your thigh is meant to keep it at a temperature close to body temp. If it is too cold when you deliver it to the collector they may throw it out or request another sample.
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As we live a life of ease,
Everyone of us has all we need
Sky of blue and Sea of Green
In our Yellow Submarine
Edited by aelephant (02/12/07 11:48 PM)
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udontknowme
Psychonaut
Registered: 04/20/06
Posts: 198
Loc: The Funk Parade
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: aelephant]
#6560764 - 02/13/07 12:25 AM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
The military conducted an experiment where they locked a bunch of volunteers in a weed-smoke filled room for 6 hours a day for a week and none of them tested positive at the end.
niiiiice 
Never heard of that before, but I have heard that THC is such a heavy molecule, it sinks straight to the floor even though you smell the smoke. (same reason for pissing midstream in the cup)
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wireless
Thizziswhatis
Registered: 11/06/06
Posts: 3,948
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: udontknowme]
#6560838 - 02/13/07 12:38 AM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Also do not pee the first amount of pee in. Piss for about two seconds and then piss in the cup "mid stream" and then remove the cup before you finish. This helps a lot too as well as tons of water and I've had great sucess with niacan.
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blewmeanie
Sativa Cyborg
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 28,512
Loc: Jacksonville FL 
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: wireless]
#6560994 - 02/13/07 01:10 AM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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To test for dilution, they look at how yellow it is, and the creatine content. So Take one of those crazy gas station b vitamins that are like 1000 percent, and take a creatine supplement for a few days before. Its worked for me in the past.
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ItsaMeMario
Stranger
Registered: 01/01/07
Posts: 359
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: blewmeanie]
#6561459 - 02/13/07 02:52 AM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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start running. no, seriously. start excersizing like your pants are on fire. then drink coconut water, milk- lactose stuff. and anti-oxident stuff like pom juice. nothing cleans out your system faster
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Tikiwoo
Psychedelic Monk
Registered: 07/11/04
Posts: 136
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: ItsaMeMario]
#6561492 - 02/13/07 03:08 AM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Creatine and some how Aspirin works great, but creatine must be taken @ least 3 days before the test. Its all about salt levels. Here is a good read. http://www.marijuana.com/420/urine-testing/19579-dilution-aspirin-technique.html Worked for my PO.
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 Fallow me to the odyssey and the ecstasy of Psychedelics.
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Defconx3
Shroomerite
Registered: 11/10/06
Posts: 72
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: DRUG TEST DRUG TEST HELP PLEASE [Re: Tikiwoo]
#6561516 - 02/13/07 03:22 AM (6 years, 3 months ago) |
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Save some money and get the...
Will work every time 
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