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Anonymous #1
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 In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. 
#16074811 - 04/11/12 12:42 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I know its long but take the time to skim though and gimme even the smallest strategic nugget you have for me.
I want to make it clear I know How much of an asshole I would be if I dumped my current gf out of no where and picked up her friend and danced off in the sunset but that's not the case.
My current girl I have been with for 3 years and it has never been a good relationship, she is mean, insecure, controlling and cruel and since I have been with her its like her cancerous negativity has made me so hopeless and depressed I just stayed with her even though we both know its held together with tape and gum.
Well I am at the point that I just let her argue with herself because I just don't care. This has made things peaceful lately and this resulted in my gf ONLY cool friend coming to hang out which is always a breath of fresh air, she does drugs lightly but will try most things, even though she is a little younger than my gf by like 2 years she is 10 years more, secure, and intelligent.
We always hit it off and bullshit the whole time about stuff my gf either doesn't care for or doesn't understand so she pouts that we "ignore her" or whatever.
So one night the three of us all planned on taking some MDMA and having a threesome. It went fantastic and my gf's shockingly light upsetness about it later was overcome and even suggested we do it again. Well ever since our sexual adventure the friend has been keeping contact with me every other day or so and she will flirt with me so blatantly and try and get me worked up about how she is going to destroy my mind the next time she gets a chance.
Now when it comes to around my gf we act normal but now she will often snuggle up to me if were watching tv or whatever which my gf doesn't mind. Well there was only one rule laid down by my GF and agreed upon by everyone and that was no playtime without everyone involved somehow.
This friend of hers knows how nutty my gf is but shes so far above it that its like a child throwing a tantrum. I thought at first that this was just her being a little naughty and talking dirty to me but the other night we all got together casually to listen to some tunes and dose on some bomb Molly caps she bought.
We take our sacrament and her and I are just grinning ear to ear within twenty minutes because we both decided to fast that day. Well my gfs just doing regular shit while we chill on the couch listening to music, bass thumping and us just trying to enjoy ourselves innocently with conversation but we can both see my gf is grumpy(who takes MDMA and turns into a bitch? Really I think she just didn't take enough(half what we took)). Anyway we are giggling and dancing to ourselves like idiots having a fun time and at any opportunity my gf was just increasingly rude to me specifically and went from simply turning down the music to, by the end of the night her actually initiating a threesome and then breaking it off after she gets me all into it but I wasn't gunna let that bother me. I kept a positive attitude and ignored her attempts to get me angry because when I am hanging out around this other girl I remember who I really am and whats important in life.
Well by this time we were all totally sober and just laying in bed listening to music while my gf sat in the corner of the bed on FB. Well I already lost my pants in the original sex effort so to my surprise, she takes advantage of my distracted gf and uses our snuggle to hide her amazing old fashioned handy J skills!
she layed on my chest almost the whole night until she headed home and once she got home she sent me a msg containing the old adage about the man who spit on buddha but didn't get angry. She sent me this because one of the things my childish gf did to pick at my good time was spit in her hand and rub it in my face, you know, being "funny". I just shrugged it off because nothing could ruin my night.
I have never spoken to this girl about my feelings or hers because I don't know if we are just friends in an odd circumstance atm or if she has feelings for me. Obviously her being my gf friend makes this a much more dangerous minefield.
I know if I left my girl that she would still be my friend because we have more in common anyway and I see in her eyes how frustrated she gets at my gf. roughly my gf is 21 and the friend is only 18 and she already works full time, goes to collage and acts more mature and chill than many 35yr old women Iv met. on the other hand my gf is a sheltered, helpless, rude child and I cannot live with it anymore so I'm jumping off this already bomb-diving relationship soon anyway.
I could use any advice you guys have to offer. I just posted this anon because my psycho, sorry I mean girl will sometimes read my posts though a guest account.
I really like this girl guys, help me sail off into the sun with her at my side onto better horizons! right now I am just playing it safe and going with the flow which has worked good so far. 
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Anonymous #2
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16074836 - 04/11/12 12:50 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Ditch the psycho. Go do what will make YOU happy because in the end if you aren't happy what is the point?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16074850 - 04/11/12 12:53 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Also let me apologize for my spelling and writing. My insomnia has lent me perhaps 4hrs of sleep in three days so I'm due to crash hard today and my motor skills are lacking to say the least.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]  1
#16074893 - 04/11/12 01:02 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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The heart wants what it wants...
I'd say it's pretty likely she has some feelings for you too... But i'm not sure how you should go about making it happen.
Don't do it unless you can deal with the possibility of losing them both.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16074920 - 04/11/12 01:09 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Ya know...sometimes life delivers us opportunities in odd ways...ways that seem like they may be 'wrong' - as in getting with your girlfriend's friend. But what truly feels right to you? What do you want to do? Then that is what is right for you, in this situation.
Never be afraid to move into the next phase of your life - even if it hurts someone indirectly. As long as you're not doing anything directly to hurt someone, do what you feel you need or want to do - that's what life is about. Explore. Enjoy. Love. Have a good time! Of course life is about much more, like loving others and caring for others, but you have to take care of yourself before you can truly effectively help others.
You've come to a fork in the road - this alternate path is obviously fun and exciting for you - why stay on the shitty one? Because you don't want to hurt your gf's feelings? I understand, and I've been there - and I was the one who stayed on the shitty path. I learned my lesson. Staying on the shitty path does justice to no one. It's an illusion. Follow your heart.
And enjoy!!! 
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #4]
#16075122 - 04/11/12 02:03 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
Ya know...sometimes life delivers us opportunities in odd ways...ways that seem like they may be 'wrong' - as in getting with your girlfriend's friend. But what truly feels right to you? What do you want to do? Then that is what is right for you, in this situation.
Never be afraid to move into the next phase of your life - even if it hurts someone indirectly. As long as you're not doing anything directly to hurt someone, do what you feel you need or want to do - that's what life is about. Explore. Enjoy. Love. Have a good time! Of course life is about much more, like loving others and caring for others, but you have to take care of yourself before you can truly effectively help others.
You've come to a fork in the road - this alternate path is obviously fun and exciting for you - why stay on the shitty one? Because you don't want to hurt your gf's feelings? I understand, and I've been there - and I was the one who stayed on the shitty path. I learned my lesson. Staying on the shitty path does justice to no one. It's an illusion. Follow your heart.
And enjoy!!!
This is how I'm feeling. I'm not spiteful although it might swanlike it in my writing. I know for a fact that this relationship is bad for both of us and breaking up is for the best and I see her friend growing up and away from her and I'm right there too.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16075216 - 04/11/12 02:20 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Yup, well there ya go man. Go with the obvious flow.
And don't worry I didn't think ya sounded spiteful at all - I totally understand. I've been in a similar situation with a girl that I loved very much, but she just had too many issues to work through to be in a relationship without frequent pain and suffering for both of us.
It gives me great joy to feel that you're going to do what you want. Life is so short; we really should jump on every decision that will give us increased happiness and well being...it may seem insensitive or self-centered, but if everyone did it, and the people who had serious issues worked through those issues and then followed suit, we'd all be happier and in more satisfying places in life. We tend to let our minds cloud our judgement and pass up opportunities that we later will regret not taking, once we realize that we were wrong for staying in the 'safe zone'.
And part of my joy also comes from knowing the intense fun and excitement you're going to have in doing this. When you've been with someone for a while and it's time to move on and then a new sexy adventure pops up......mmmm. So awesome.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #4]
#16075258 - 04/11/12 02:33 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Asside from how amazing this women is mentally she is totally on my page in the sac. And my current gf cannot if life depended on it cum from simple vaginal penitration. The vibrator is always present which really bothers me. But when I was with our friend it's like we both knew what we wanted and she was clearly enjoying it and it boosted my pride and was awesome! Where as my current gf could complain about anything and is like one other thing is she is lazy a hell in bed and around the house. So after three years of this I felt like a robot repeating the same motions everyday until this girl came along and she was fun, relaxed, openminded and when I hit on her g spot she would moan ever so sexily.
I like everything about this girl, I just want to really get to know her more so were more comfortable talking about things that cannot be said to just any "crush" she is my close friend but I wouldnt chance our friendship if I didn't have some indication on her being interested in me long term or at least being friends.
Obviously no matter what happens with dream girl I need to get away form the cancer stuck to me now.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16075434 - 04/11/12 03:17 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I think I'm going to make more of an effort to get closer to her so she might feel more comfortable expressing how she feels or what her expectations might be, if any. I would be a absolute fool to pass this girl by if she truly has feelings for me and is willing to take the step to outgrow the child. both of us have clearly had enough tnough to still be friends which I'm sure she is but once I blast this cancer with a Radiation Laser I'll be able to invite this girl over as a friend and we can see where it leads. Maybe it will turn out we find out a relationship isn't right for one of us but from what iv seen and the connection we have; it makes me pretty sure she would be in a relationship with me after I leave my gf. From the advice from family and friends that all agree that the kids got to go and I should just see what happens with the new girl.
I don't want to be one of those guys who won't dump a girl unless they have someone inline behind that one.
I respect this girl even if she is almost 4 years my junior. We share a lot of similar interests but were very different and when I talk to her it just feels so easy and we both comment on how we always seam to be on the same page.
Guess we shall see what is made of this.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16075910 - 04/11/12 04:50 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
I don't want to be one of those guys who won't dump a girl unless they have someone inline behind that one.
Yeah definitely not. I wouldn't worry too much about how far things will go. I think it's best to not have expectations.
You know you want out of the relationship you're in, so that's that.
You know she's interested in AT LEAST having fun with you and being friends. That's obvious.
The rest? Let the chips fall where they may man. Don't think about it too much. Just do.
Quote:
Guess we shall see what is made of this.
I wish ya the best!
Edited by Anonymous (04/11/12 04:53 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #4]
#16075972 - 04/11/12 05:02 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Thanks Anon #4 I know ending this relationship is the best and smartest choice but I get such strong feelings around this other girl I would hate if she had to put boundaries between us to keep my ex/her friend happy. I need to find a way of finding out if she has any sort of romantic feelings for me withought directly asking her. If there is a hope that we could be together in the future then I feel like that will give me the strength to finally cut the cord on this relationship. I hate that I have to har that cruch but I know I'll procrastinate forever if I am in the dark.
I know it's stupid but I just can't help how I feel.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16076028 - 04/11/12 05:17 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Drop the cancer, if you wanna see how she feels about you, spend a day with doing w/e she wants and pay attention to her, you should be able to find out how she feels about you. Wish you luck 
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #5]
#16076161 - 04/11/12 05:42 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Thanks for the support guys. This is what I needed.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16080370 - 04/12/12 03:19 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Well guys I had a long talk with my gf's friend and she told me she feels the same way about me. Complicated situation but I'll figure it out.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16080381 - 04/12/12 03:20 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Sounds like your running from one psychotic bitch to another bro. You need to take a break from the emotional investment
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #6]
#16080416 - 04/12/12 03:27 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:
Sounds like your running from one psychotic bitch to another bro. You need to take a break from the emotional investment
Not like that at all mate. This girl is a lot like myself an she's nothing close to psycho. She hates confrontation and is just totally chill. Iv known her long enough to see how she truly is. She's a good chick man.
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Anonymous #7
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16080485 - 04/12/12 03:46 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Having been with a psycho, I said break it off with the psycho and pursue the chill friend.
Things will eventually end with the psycho anyways, and you will probably be heartbroken if you aren't ready for it, so don't miss your chance with a girl that can treat you with respect.
Mind you, I'm speaking from experience as someone who didn't ditch the psycho.
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Anonymous #8
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16080489 - 04/12/12 03:47 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Some good replies..
If the relationship has been crap before her friend was involved it's time to move on. You don't even sound happy with her through text on an anonymous msg board.
If her friend wasn't involved at all, would this relationship have naturally run its course?
I was in a similar situation, minus the threesome and fun drugs. We both moved away from a toxic person and had a very good relationship together.
I'd just make sure it's not the "taboo" that's turning her friend onto you. It might be nice and swell that things seem great now, but she might also be getting off on the fact that a person you mutually hate is suffering because you two are happy.
I'd talk with her friend after you feel things out for a bit. Who knows, she might want to hurt your girlfriend and you're the easiest available. That could cripple any future relationship with her.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #7]
#16080495 - 04/12/12 03:48 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #7 said:
Having been with a psycho, I said break it off with the psycho and pursue the chill friend.
Things will eventually end with the psycho anyways, and you will probably be heartbroken if you aren't ready for it, so don't miss your chance with a girl that can treat you with respect.
Mind you, I'm speaking from experience as someone who didn't ditch the psycho.
My feelings exactly.
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Anonymous #8
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16080512 - 04/12/12 03:54 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Better keep us updated.
Wish you the best. I really do hope it works out. Sounds like you and the friend could be very happy together.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #8]
#16081827 - 04/12/12 09:16 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I'll update when things change.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16083131 - 04/13/12 02:26 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Update:
So my gf and I broke up last night and today I made plans with the other girl to hang out at my buddies place to smoke and watch a movie. Its the beginning of happiness in my life!
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Anonymous #9
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16084150 - 04/13/12 11:36 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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congrats!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #9]
#16085654 - 04/13/12 05:47 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Well this morning my dream girl came to visit before work. We talked for a bit but things moved to the bed where we foole around lightly until she had to leave for work. This is working out great.
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Anonymous #10
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16086635 - 04/13/12 09:59 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Anonymous #11
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Re: In need of serious advice about possibly date with my now gf's friend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16086807 - 04/13/12 10:48 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I say do it. The only thing holding you back is this simple formula. How much your GF's friend wants your dick/divided by how close they are as friends multiplied by how big your dick is.
Simple math.
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