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Anonymous #1
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 Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? 
#16015164 - 03/29/12 08:30 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I'd like to think most people here have grown up and rode through the emotions of their first love. All my friends who are an awful lot more experienced with regards to relationships constantly remind me that there really is nothing like your first love. No matter what girl you meet later down the road, you'll never seem to experience the same emotions that you once did that first time round. That I can fully appreciate. But at the same time, it can make certain situations much more troublesome.
Only recently, I found out that my girlfriend has cheated on me on a number of occasions while out on nights out. In her defence she was extremely drunk during each occasion and woke up with nothing but regrets the following morning. Unfortunately, she was never honest with me, and I had to find out the news through one of her friends instead. I don't think it would have been as big a deal if she had confronted me and explained the situation right after it had happened.
But anyway, looking at the big picture, the sensible option would be to walk away, but like I've already mentioned, this girl is my first love and has been for quite some time. I feel she cares for me like I care for her but she sure can do some stupid things when she's out at a club getting drunk.
Anyway, let's get straight to the point. What would you do in this particular situation? Would you give her a second chance and try make things work? Or would you turn your back on her and try find yourself someone else a little more sensible? It's a real horrible situation and I feel that I'm sitting on the fence with this one.
This is the first time round that I've had to post in this part of the forum but I'm fairly confident that someone here will be able to give me a sensible answer that might be able to help make my mind up. Love sure is a crazy thing... a little too crazy at times! 
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 Nefertem
Registered: 11/17/11
Posts: 159
Loc: 
Last seen: 3 months, 26 days
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]  1
#16015182 - 03/29/12 08:32 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Post deleted by NefertemReason for deletion: MUAUM
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Nefertem]
#16015227 - 03/29/12 08:38 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Leave her. Saying she was drunk is nothing more than an excuse for her being a slut. If she really cared about you she wouldn't of cheated or she would of at very least come foreword about it instead of keeping it from you.
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sun_spots
renegade starship
Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 9,102
Loc: Nirvana
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Nefertem] 1
#16015241 - 03/29/12 08:40 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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One of two things needs to happen here:
a) She needs to stop going out drinking without you - she obviously can't be trusted.
............or.................
b) You need to get out of this relationship - she obviously can't be trusted.
Either way, there is no trust here and there can be none at this point. She has done the damage. As painful as it may be, you need to be strong and end things with this girl. She may see the error of her ways later, and want you to take her back, and you may be tempted to let her come back, but don't. It will never work; the trust has already been irreparably damaged.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, and I do hope things work out for the best.
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ToiletDuk said:
If you have a cat, it would be a good idea to fart on it, as this will bring you much luck.
"This is an environment of welcoming, and you should get the hell out." ~Michael Scott
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: sun_spots]
#16015264 - 03/29/12 08:44 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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What above said - leave her.
OP you must be young - your sabotaging your happiness because its your "first love" "which is the best"..
That's not true at all.
With time you will realize not there is more to love than that hot lust feeling and the time stops still feeling.
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sun_spots
renegade starship
Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 9,102
Loc: Nirvana
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#16015286 - 03/29/12 08:48 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I agree with you on the idea of the first love not necessarily being the best. I've been with my fiance for going on 3 years, and I still get butterflies when I look at him. He is far from my first. But he is my last and best.
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ToiletDuk said:
If you have a cat, it would be a good idea to fart on it, as this will bring you much luck.
"This is an environment of welcoming, and you should get the hell out." ~Michael Scott
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 Lynnch
Strangerer
Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 4,241
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: sun_spots]
#16015365 - 03/29/12 08:58 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Its true, your first love is special. But special doesn't equal perfect, or even right. Most people leave or lose their first love, and for good reason.
Your girlfriend cheated on you. On a number of occasions. It doesn't matter that she was drunk. If she was blacked out and raped thats a different story, but I for one have never been sober enough to fuck but drunk enough to not know who it was. At the very least she knew she was putting herself in a position for this to happen.
Stick around and get laid if you like, but wear a rubber. Definitely don't invest any emotions in this girl.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Lynnch]
#16015419 - 03/29/12 09:07 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Thanks for the quick responses. In all honesty, I had a feeling this was going to be the overall consensus among everyone here. Like I said, love can be misguiding. You might be fully aware your making the wrong decision but emotions can sometimes be overpowering.
Out of curiosity, if for example, she had confronted me immediately after cheating with someone, would this have been a different situation since she was genuinely honest about her mistake? Is there any significant difference in that approach? I know it never happened but I'm curious as to whether or not this would have changed your opinions on the whole situation. Or is it one of those ones where once you've been cheated on, the trust among each other can never be mended?
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Lynnch
Strangerer
Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 4,241
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16015471 - 03/29/12 09:17 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Well, it all depends.
How long into the relationship?
Was it a one time thing or a drawn out affair?
Has it happened before? Are there other trust and behavior issues?
But really its a personal thing. If you have a strong enough bond that cheating doesn't bother you, who am I to tell you to break up? Never say never, anything can be talked out and worked out... but I think most of us would have a real problem with being cheated on.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Lynnch]
#16015501 - 03/29/12 09:23 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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We've been in the relationship for just over two years. This was my first real girlfriend and someone that I ended up losing my virginity to. Like I said, she meant a great deal to me and still does. But at the end of the day, being cheated on really does take a hit on the relationship. No matter how hard you try and brush it off, it really isn't as simple as that.
No, it wasn't a drawn out thing. She had been out on two separate night and ended up sleeping with a random guy on each occasion. At the time she was filled with drink in addition to the occasional line of coke. I can certainly see how the intoxication could have clouded her judgement but then again, I seem to be defending her every action.
Like I said before, I've got strong feelings towards this girl but at the same time, don't want to be made out like a sucker who just can't seem to turn his back on someone who in the end, might not be the right girl after all.
Like you said Lynnch, I guess only I can really answer this question for myself. I really just created this thread for a second opinion. A little advise can go along way, especially in a situation that you've never had to deal with before.
Thanks for the help guys and girls, it's always appreciated!
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sun_spots
renegade starship
Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 9,102
Loc: Nirvana
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16015521 - 03/29/12 09:26 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Ultimately, it is your choice whether or not you leave her or even confront her about this. As a person who has been in some doomed relationships, however, I strongly advise you against trusting a person who has already proven her lack of trustworthiness. Unless she is mature enough to make a lasting change, I don't see this ever working.
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ToiletDuk said:
If you have a cat, it would be a good idea to fart on it, as this will bring you much luck.
"This is an environment of welcoming, and you should get the hell out." ~Michael Scott
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Jwlst
Stranger
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Lynnch]
#16015569 - 03/29/12 09:33 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Ok.
Not only did she cheat on you, but she kept it hidden and you found out through other means. She was never going to tell you. Then she actually has the hide to makes up an excuse for her behaviour like it is ok and you are now considering staying with her?
No wonder she cheats on you. How can anyone ever respect you when you have absolutely no respect for yourself. Some of the stupid shit I read on this forum is unbelievable sometimes.
My advice? Why the hell are you even still giving her any attention (positive or negative, doesn't matter humans get off on both). You are in control now, she has done the wrong thing. I would ignore her completley, no calls or nothing, if you live with her kick her out or move out straight away. When you have a concrete decision ready, you can initiate conversation with her. She cannot be the one iniating conversation with you. You should start enjoying being single and leave her hanging, even if you think you might want to get back with her (moronic choice).
It still Doesn't matter what you do with this relationship as it is already fucked, but no need to worry about that you need to worry about you. Go to the gym, learn some new skills (sports, instruments, language), make some money (focus on education/job), maybe do a bit of solo traveling or sky dive and hopefully you will gain some self respect for next time you want to give this whole human breeding thing a crack. You honestly sound like a really nice person, but often that is not enough to win a ladies attention for very long, so please try and get some goddamn self respect and a bit of depth to your personality.
Best of luck to you.
Edited by Jwlst (03/29/12 09:38 PM)
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JacksonMetaller
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Jwlst]
#16016187 - 03/29/12 11:24 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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normally i'm one of the guys who tries to make things work out, but in the case of cheating i'd leave her in a heartbeat. my first love cheated on me too and i have nothing but regrets for staying with her longer than i should have. OP i assume you've been drunk... well i've been close to black out and never once felt the desire to cheat on my girlfriend. its really a weak excuse that girls love to use for slutting around.
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Drugs to try: Alcohol, Weed, LSD, Mushrooms, DMT , LSA, Ayahuasca, Changa, Mescaline, 2c-b, MDMA, DXM, Ketamine, N2O, MXE, Salvia, Kratom, and some day farrrr down the road Ibogaine
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mick
living in perverty
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16020310 - 03/30/12 07:26 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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i think the whole first love thing is bullshit. almost every girl i dated (including my first) from 6th grade to highschool were not my favorite relationships. Some were 9 month, highschool love, were getting married type relationships. others were first girl, broke my young little heart type relationships.
i dont give a shit about any one of these girls today. if i saw them, id probably say hi or whatever, but my great relationships were from 19-present. those were the ones I remember years after the fact and think about from time to time with sentimentality.
As for your chick who is cheating on you by 'getting drunk'; she is a bitch. leave her ass in the dirt and move on. it is the BEST thing you can do for yourself to not keep yourself in a shitty realtionship. First love or not, there are ALWAYS other options, and much, much.... much better options than the piece of shit one you think youre stuck with right now.
id leave that bitch in a heartbeat and never look back. go enjoy vegas with your friends as a single man or something.
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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mick
living in perverty
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16020317 - 03/30/12 07:29 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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and do it soon, before she gives you an STD, then youll really never be able to forget her lol. drop that idiot youre dating.
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Bassfreak
Bass in Your Face
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: mick]
#16025020 - 03/31/12 06:21 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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thats basically what happened to me...she basically left me for another dude and i can think of one time when i had good suspicions on whether she cheated on me or not, but now i dont even really give a shit anymore
i was real hung up on her for a month or two but then i got a lot better and got back into the swing of things and being single
the dude she left me for i met at the bar once and i was being a huge douchebag to him (this was before she left me for him, but i kinda knew what was coming)...this kid was giving me a ride back to my car and i was literally as drunk as ive ever been and i was having him drive me from place to place that i knew my car wasnt at, just acting like i forgot where my car was
he was getting pissed and my gf was too and i was laughing my balls off in the backseat...honestly im not gonna go looking for this kid but if i ever seen him again im gonna knock that motherfucker out, he wont even see it coming
basically dude, chicks you cant trust suck and dont bother with them unless its only for one night, thats what ive learned...i knew before we even started going out that i couldnt trust her and i didnt care i just wanted to be with her and get laid, but she was a real cool chick while we lasted
part of me just fucking hates girls so bad
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 Uzziel
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Bassfreak]
#16025443 - 03/31/12 08:17 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I would say
GOD DAMNIT YOU'RE A FUCKIN WHORE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. You better not have gotten me a god damn STD. OH alcohol made you rip off your clothes and gobble his cock down huh? Man fuck off. Stupid fucking cunt. I have better things to do than waste my time with a cheating whore who lies and makes up excuses instead of accepting that she fucked up big time.
Or something along those lines. Definitely would NOT give her a second chance.
A lying cheating cunt in my eyes, will always be one. Is that true? No, but damn once you lose trust like that in someone, there pretty much is never getting it back.
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acidxprincess
Livin day by day.
Registered: 01/07/11
Posts: 1,193
Loc: partylands, WI 
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: Uzziel]
#16028750 - 04/01/12 01:05 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Why would you fight him though? That's just not the way things work. My first love cheated on me with a few girls. Some being ones off the internet 
People like that just aren't worth your time.
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"what do you call Discovery?
I call it rape of the natural world."
"Too weird to live..
Too rare to die"
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preschooler
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: acidxprincess]
#16028760 - 04/01/12 01:08 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Mine did it with my best friend at the time .....ended up horribly..... i stalked them n shit..... just try to get away man. It will be better that way.
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AUX
Entheogenist
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Re: Being cheated on by your first love, what would you do? [Re: preschooler] 1
#16054421 - 04/06/12 10:49 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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End it. She has no respect for you and if you roll over and let her stay, nobody else will have respect for you either.
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