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Anonymous #1
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 Ladies... how do I approach you? 
#15684205 - 01/18/12 05:50 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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So I've been single for a few months now. Last relationship was pretty serious and ended pretty horribly. I'm ready to start dating again, but honestly have no clue how to approach girls. I feel so pathetic. I just started back at classes this week and there are so many beautiful girls on campus. Any input will do, but I would like to hear what the ladies think.
I feel like just telling a girl that she is beautiful would be cheesy and probably a little creepy as well. I'm generally an introverted person and keep to myself for the most part. Have always been the shy type. I can have a conversation with girls, but I just feel anxious and nervous around girls that I am attracted to.
I know this is all subjective, but what do the ladies feel is the best approach?
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 CarnivalBarker
wizard
Registered: 04/19/10
Posts: 2,668
Last seen: 7 months, 10 days
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 Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #1]  1
#15684244 - 01/18/12 05:57 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Have a normal conversation, flirt, ask for her number, hang out, get invited back to her place, make out, chill again, fuck, and there you go.
This can be done in 3 days or less.
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 TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Be friends first. Don't get pissed at girls when they don't want to date you and then stop talking to them. If you can have female friends without being a little bitch or wanting to fuck all of them, secure women will dig that. Last step, when you find a girl you actually can be friends with because you have things in common with them interest wise and have compatible personalities you have more of a chance. If you want something serious, look into what she wants for her future and see if it matches up with what you want. Don't look over things or try to impose what you want on her actions (ie, overlooking things you really don't like) or think she will change. If you want someone truly compatible for you, patience is key.
If you just straight up approach me, I'll straight up shut you down. I only fuck and get into relationships with friends. You have to earn me and show me over time you're a trust worthy person, with a consistent personality who I get a long with and understand the workings of. Women want security (if they're serious). I don't think I'm too different from others in terms of that.
Unless you want sluts. Then I can't help you
Dating is the most fail tactic ever. Friendship is a real way to get to know someone. If you are truly friends and things don't work out, even if it takes some time, you should always have that friend.
I also have no issues hooking up with male friends of mine who I am attracted to for no string attached shit. But they have to be my friends for a while and I have to know they're not going talk shit, be dramatic and disrespectful, or suddenly be super serious. I'm sure there are other women like this.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: TTT]
#15684707 - 01/18/12 07:42 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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That is pretty much what my perspective of this situation was.
Now my question is how do I express my desire to a lady friend without being awkward about it? There is one girl in particular that I started hanging out with a little after my previous relationship fell apart. I have had a crush on her since we were teenagers and still find myself attracted to her. Aside from being physically attractive she is intelligent and we have similar interest. I would just feel like such an idiot if I "made a move" and got shut down. I wouldn't be angry about it, just embarrassed.
Essentially this is just something I have to face and if I like someone enough I have to choose if I want to take that risk of looking foolish.
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tedthekid
Stranger
Registered: 11/13/11
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15685088 - 01/18/12 08:52 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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I'm not a lady but I believe I have some decent advice.
I've always been a bit shy around women I'm attracted to as well. Get nervous or whatever--sometimes lose my true personality around them because of it.
One of the keys is is to talk with all types of women. Girls you dig, girls you don't but like to talk with, ones you think aren't very interesting, or ones you may think are stupid right off the bat.
You don't gotta get into real relationships with the stupid or uninteresting ones, but even talking with them will help. First--who knows, maybe they will surprise you or something. Second-- it'll give you good practice simply being comfortable and confident around girls. I go to school too and used to make the mistake of only seeking out conversations with the women I found fine. Bad idea...If you talk with women and even make friends with some you're not attracted to, things will go smoother.
As for when you find one you dig...Don't think about what she wants or is thinking, aside from believing she wants and is thinking positively about you. Believe it and it's more likely to become true. And if it doesn't become true, tell yourself fuck it and move on to the next one. Just start out with a nice, normal conversation and ease into it. As you ease, don't be afraid to let them know your intentions, making it obvious you find her fine.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: tedthekid]
#15685137 - 01/18/12 09:01 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Tell her you want to dshsb.
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andrewss
precariously aggrandized
Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,698
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 8 days, 16 hours
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15685592 - 01/18/12 10:43 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Tell her you want to dshsb.
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Jesus loves you.
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Natorade
LsDmThC
Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 1,548
Loc: CA 
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: TTT]
#15686183 - 01/19/12 01:38 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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ive also been wondering about this kind of thing (for too too long now)... what i just dont understand is approaching new women, not all pick-up artisty or tryna hit n quit, but really just conversing with a random girl in the library or out eating or wherever! i guess im just so worried about being awkward and not being able to keep conversation flowing that it gets me down about it. and even then, how would i go about transitioning a silly little one minute convo into a phone number / date / friend?
and TTT, you said:
Quote:
TTT said: If you just straight up approach me, I'll straight up shut you down.
but do you mean getting approached in like an aggressive, pick-up kind of way? or if any guy just randomly starts talking to you when youre out and about? how have you met all your guy friends?
and beside the fact that im not exactly the hottest dude in school, its just really hard for me to meet girls cuz i only have 1 friend here so i cant really meet people through other people, and in all honesty, theres just never a single girl in any of my classes that id be interested in (unfortunately most cute girls arent too big into math and science  )
and i dont mean to hijack your thread or anything at all op, just trying to get some more input, hope you dont mind 
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Natorade]
#15686845 - 01/19/12 07:23 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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I don't mind at all. The more input the better.
Sometimes I will be talking to a girl just fine and things seem optimistic.. but then it all turns.
Next thing I know she is all up on some other guy and I'm just like "wtf"
Of course this seems to be consistent when alcohol is involved.
I need a girl that hangs out in a bookstore and smokes pot.
Not some "I'm only a skank when I drink" type.
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redpoppy
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 282
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Natorade]
#15686873 - 01/19/12 07:53 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Befriend them. Be funny and confident. At the beginning get them to put their defences down. Sex and romance should be the last vibe they're getting. Chit chat about anything. Ask their opinions or advice. Women love talking. "can i ask your opinion on something?" "do women think polo shirts are gay/do women think Ryan Reynolds is hot/do women prefer a good body over a good brain/do women all conspire to confuse men?"
Just anything. "I've got a bet with my friend about women. Would you prefer somone buy you a gucci handbag/shoes or a day at a spa/an adventure weekend"
You won't run out of things to say. Ask opinions. Music, art, tv, films. Tell her that you have dry/oily skin and get some advice. Just talk.
Then once you've established connection invite her somewhere where there will be other people; if you've both said you love star trek say you've got a group going to the new trek film or if there's a party going on etc.
Once a level of connection is made remind her you are a man. "i love it when women play with their hair/wear wear dresses/tight jeans/have x it sense me crazy" or if you're feeling brave "don't walk like that/play with your hair/laugh like that its sexy".
Just take it easy and don't scare her. Don't be scared. We are all human.
Good luck guys.
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Powdered_Toastman
o lucid one
Registered: 05/31/11
Posts: 569
Last seen: 1 hour, 1 minute
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: redpoppy]
#15686954 - 01/19/12 08:45 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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i think there were alot of good points made in this thread. it really boils down to 2 things. trust and confidence. oh and remember, being scared of awkward silence only pursues it! haha happy hunting
-peace
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15687340 - 01/19/12 11:20 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
That is pretty much what my perspective of this situation was.
Now my question is how do I express my desire to a lady friend without being awkward about it? There is one girl in particular that I started hanging out with a little after my previous relationship fell apart. I have had a crush on her since we were teenagers and still find myself attracted to her. Aside from being physically attractive she is intelligent and we have similar interest. I would just feel like such an idiot if I "made a move" and got shut down. I wouldn't be angry about it, just embarrassed.
Essentially this is just something I have to face and if I like someone enough I have to choose if I want to take that risk of looking foolish.
Does she seem like she may be in to you? Does she handle other guys expressing their feelings for her in a chill way well or does she push them away after? Thats really all you need to know to make a decision.
Quote:
Natorade said:
and TTT, you said:
Quote:
TTT said: If you just straight up approach me, I'll straight up shut you down.
but do you mean getting approached in like an aggressive, pick-up kind of way? or if any guy just randomly starts talking to you when youre out and about? how have you met all your guy friends?
and beside the fact that im not exactly the hottest dude in school, its just really hard for me to meet girls cuz i only have 1 friend here so i cant really meet people through other people, and in all honesty, theres just never a single girl in any of my classes that id be interested in (unfortunately most cute girls arent too big into math and science )
and i dont mean to hijack your thread or anything at all op, just trying to get some more input, hope you dont mind
If I get the vibe that you are talking to me to surprise me with a "lul lets date" after 3 months, I'll probably not go out of my way to hang out with you. If you're someone who seems like they may have a crush on me but understand that I don't want to date anyone I don't know for a while and you don't mind being a friend of mine first, I won't shut you down.
I rarely meet men who can handle the "friend zone" but I am hardly sad when they throw their tantrum and stop talking to me or try to make me jealous by bragging about new girls. The ones that can accept my terms and really like me for me are ones I consider.
Quote:
redpoppy said:
Befriend them. Be funny and confident. At the beginning get them to put their defences down. Sex and romance should be the last vibe they're getting. Chit chat about anything. Ask their opinions or advice. Women love talking. "can i ask your opinion on something?" "do women think polo shirts are gay/do women think Ryan Reynolds is hot/do women prefer a good body over a good brain/do women all conspire to confuse men?"
Just anything. "I've got a bet with my friend about women. Would you prefer somone buy you a gucci handbag/shoes or a day at a spa/an adventure weekend"
You won't run out of things to say. Ask opinions. Music, art, tv, films. Tell her that you have dry/oily skin and get some advice. Just talk.
Then once you've established connection invite her somewhere where there will be other people; if you've both said you love star trek say you've got a group going to the new trek film or if there's a party going on etc.
Once a level of connection is made remind her you are a man. "i love it when women play with their hair/wear wear dresses/tight jeans/have x it sense me crazy" or if you're feeling brave "don't walk like that/play with your hair/laugh like that its sexy".
Just take it easy and don't scare her. Don't be scared. We are all human.
Good luck guys.
This is sound advice. And if she seems like she doesn't enjoy your compliments she may not be into you.
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,371
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: TTT]
#15698218 - 01/21/12 06:24 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said:
Be friends first. Don't get pissed at girls when they don't want to date you and then stop talking to them. If you can have female friends without being a little bitch or wanting to fuck all of them, secure women will dig that. Last step, when you find a girl you actually can be friends with because you have things in common with them interest wise and have compatible personalities you have more of a chance. If you want something serious, look into what she wants for her future and see if it matches up with what you want. Don't look over things or try to impose what you want on her actions (ie, overlooking things you really don't like) or think she will change. If you want someone truly compatible for you, patience is key.
If you just straight up approach me, I'll straight up shut you down. I only fuck and get into relationships with friends. You have to earn me and show me over time you're a trust worthy person, with a consistent personality who I get a long with and understand the workings of. Women want security (if they're serious). I don't think I'm too different from others in terms of that.
Unless you want sluts. Then I can't help you
Dating is the most fail tactic ever. Friendship is a real way to get to know someone. If you are truly friends and things don't work out, even if it takes some time, you should always have that friend.
I also have no issues hooking up with male friends of mine who I am attracted to for no string attached shit. But they have to be my friends for a while and I have to know they're not going talk shit, be dramatic and disrespectful, or suddenly be super serious. I'm sure there are other women like this.
I have a hard time being friends with women...thenagain I have a hard time being friends with ANYONE. Id say I have one female friend who I really hang out with regularly more than an aquaintance...she has a boyfriend and even if she didnt I wouldnt try or even want to have sex with her. She's not ugly or fat, just not what Im attracted to. I think that makes it easier for me to be friends with her than if I was attracted.
Well actually Id say I have a few more than just her...but she's the only one who I hang out with a few times a week, go over to her house often, have her over, etc. She's just like any other one of my dude friends, I get along with her due to similar taste in music and drugs. She's one of the small group of people who would let me crash at her place if I had nowhere to go.
Quote:
I rarely meet men who can handle the "friend zone" but I am hardly sad when they throw their tantrum and stop talking to me or try to make me jealous by bragging about new girls. The ones that can accept my terms and really like me for me are ones I consider.
I can think of two times I reacted like that to the friend zone thing but in my defense I felt like I was unfairly led on(cuddled with, told I was sexy, teased, texted constantly, hell both of these girls even said they had romantic feelings for me)and I feel like it was unfair of them to make it seem like I had a chance when they really werent even interested. I dont like to be led on, whether it be relationship wise or in any other area of life. I felt like I was just used for favors (drugs, rides, concert tickets, etc) and they had no interest in me but were just pretending. That hurts me. I do things like that for true friends normally and had they approached me in a friends-only way from the get go and stuck around Id have had no qualms with helping them out but it was that false pretense that killed me. Why should I waste my time on someone who doesnt care about me truely when I can find someone who does instead?
Weeded one of them out when I moved 20 minutes a way and she said she no longer had interest in going out with me due to the distance and later when I told her Id visit often she said was a lesbian. Looked to me like she was just looking for an excuse to get rid of me, even 1000 miles is not a deal breaker for me if I care about the person. She also wouldnt kiss me deeply. Even had a boyfriend within a few weeks (who I kinda feel like she is just using). She also told me she used to date a guy who had a six figure income for his money when she wasnt too into him really.. Just seems like a user in general. She cuddled with me every night but said she had no interest in sex. Yet on the other hand she acted like I was the most attractive person in the world.
The other one had mad intimacy issues and was all crazy about me on my nuts at first...but then later she wouldnt cuddle or kiss me anymore. Wouldnt sleep in the same bed with any male whatsoever. However she initially pursued me. The whole situation made no sense whatosever.
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Dominar
Stranger
Registered: 12/25/11
Posts: 20
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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I think 'When Harry Met Sally' sums it up pretty well:
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Dominar]
#15701077 - 01/22/12 11:26 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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I think thats total bullshit. Guys aren't that helpless to your libidos.
Coming from someone who primarily hangs out with men. Some people can't handle that and I choose not to handle those people.
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greys
Mushroom Dork
Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 37,370
Loc: nunya
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: TTT]
#15702035 - 01/22/12 03:52 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Pick 5 of your male friends who are straight. 4 of them have fantasized about nailing you.
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Uzziel
Stranger
Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 4,737
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: greys]
#15702093 - 01/22/12 04:03 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
greysRDbest said:
Pick 5 of your male friends who are straight. 4 of them have fantasized about nailing you.
Guarantee it. Unless you're an ugly hag, or something.
It's not that we're shallow, we just really like sex. Or maybe we are shallow. 
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redpoppy
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/07
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Uzziel]
#15702346 - 01/22/12 04:55 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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No. No. No. No.
What if they're all attached. And like short?
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Othyem
Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 1,019
Last seen: 11 hours, 39 minutes
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: TTT]
#15702446 - 01/22/12 05:17 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said:
I think thats total bullshit. Guys aren't that helpless to your libidos.
Coming from someone who primarily hangs out with men. Some people can't handle that and I choose not to handle those people.
All of your guy friends would fuck you given the chance, if they are not gay and your not gross.
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thoughts
imagining.
Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 15,310
Loc: here.
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: TTT]
#15705485 - 01/23/12 03:18 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Just ask them if they wanna have sex, only way to know for sure.
I guarantee none of them will say "but we're just friends durrhurr."
Unless they're way serious about someone else.
Or ghey.
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thangin'.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,720
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: greys]
#15705730 - 01/23/12 05:01 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
greysRDbest said:
Pick 5 of your male friends who are straight. 4 of them have fantasized about nailing you.
Yes, I agree. But fantasizing about it and actually making a move are different things. I think TTT means that she doesn't hang out with the kind of guys who can't help themselves and actually 'have to' make a move. But of course TTT's friends all fantasize about it. And since they're her friends, they are wise enough to keep their traps shut about it.
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egodeathflux
Guttersnipe
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Posts: 2,736
Loc: The Stygian Pits
Last seen: 1 day, 3 hours
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: koraks]
#15705743 - 01/23/12 05:08 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Lotta truth in this thread, sorry ladies.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: egodeathflux] 1
#15706657 - 01/23/12 01:58 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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While some of them may want to bang me if they had the chance, they respect me enough as a person to not let their primal desires get in the way of a healthy, functioning and beneficial friendship. Or they're intelligent enough to realize we aren't compatible in a more than friends way and are able to keep such feelings aside. Like I don't want to fuck some of my friends when I am super horny. I don't because I have a brain and treasure my friends more than instant gratification.
I hang out with mostly men, I am not oblivious to how you guys work, think and act.
If they can't handle being just friends with no extra "perks" than our friendship, I won't hang out with them. I hang out with my friends because of who they are as people, not their reproductive drive. Its pretty easy to eliminate those that can't separate the two.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,720
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: TTT]
#15706667 - 01/23/12 02:02 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said:
While some of them may want to bang me if they had the chance, they respect me enough as a person to not let their primal desires get in the way of a healthy, functioning and beneficial friendship.
I'd like to add that your friends are probably aware of the fact that letting you on about their 'primal desires' would destroy their friendship with you. There are other women out there who can deal with this. I'm putting this out there to let people know that not every woman will respond the way you do.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: koraks]
#15707265 - 01/23/12 04:29 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
TTT said:
While some of them may want to bang me if they had the chance, they respect me enough as a person to not let their primal desires get in the way of a healthy, functioning and beneficial friendship.
I'd like to add that your friends are probably aware of the fact that letting you on about their 'primal desires' would destroy their friendship with you. There are other women out there who can deal with this. I'm putting this out there to let people know that not every woman will respond the way you do.
My friends tend to be pretty straight up about things haha. I just don't ...really care? As long as they can keep it words and not get pissy, its all good.
Not all women are like me, this is true. But there are some.
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Dr. P. Silocybin
I dig love
Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 1,601
Loc: limbo
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: redpoppy]
#15707574 - 01/23/12 05:49 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
redpoppy said:
Tell her that you have dry/oily skin
Then once you've established connection invite her somewhere where there will be other people; if you've both said you love star trek say you've got a group going to the new trek film.
hey baby, I've got really dry skin and a bad case of acne. do you want to go to a star trek movie with me?
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millzy
Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 6,875
Last seen: 6 hours, 41 minutes
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silently, from behind always works for me.
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It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.- Philip K. Dick
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pwnasaurus
Stranger
Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 8,664
Loc: Canada 
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: millzy]
#15707799 - 01/23/12 06:47 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
millzy said:
silently, from behind always works for me.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15709966 - 01/24/12 03:18 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Now my question is how do I express my desire to a lady friend without being awkward about it?
You never want to over express your desire. Telling a girl how much you like her should happen about 3months into a relationship. Until then you are still establishing the attracting and you can easily come off as pathetic. Women typically have negative connotations to pathetic behavior and neediness due to previous bad experiences.
Usually what I do when testing the waters is find something we both like to do and go do it together alone. Like a show, checking out a new bar, football game, whatever… Getting to know some of the local music can facilitate this because you will have ample opportunity to say “oh hey want to check out this band I just heard about”. While your hanging out together, look at her body language, don’t be a creep. Your mainly looking for indications that she’s into you, PUA’s would call them IOI’s or “indicators of interest”. These indicators rarely lead you astray and have worked so well for me that I don’t make a move until I get three different IOI’s, once I do I make a move and sometimes it’s a big. Honestly, you wouldn’t believe..
Quote:
Anonymous said:
There is one girl in particular that I started hanging out with a little after my previous relationship fell apart. I have had a crush on her since we were teenagers and still find myself attracted to her. Aside from being physically attractive she is intelligent and we have similar interest. I would just feel like such an idiot if I "made a move" and got shut down. I wouldn't be angry about it, just embarrassed.
Your moves need to be subtle, like I said look for IOI’s. It’s best if you can have a drink with her, alcohol may make her feel more comfortable showing you interest, if there is any. Look up common IOI’s, women can be extremely obvious about them. And if you aren’t getting any, chances are you aren’t getting any…
If I get IOI’s I usually go in for the kiss, but you don’t have to be that bold. You can just use it as an excuse to get a little more physical with her. Touching, teasing, tickling ect.. And escalate it from there. This can happen very quickly.
If she is not into you DON’T FRET!! Its all good, and having good gal friends can get you laid. But if you feel the dynamic going this way, put your interest in her aside completely and open up to her. Tell her you’re looking to date, get her to take you shopping and help you look like the mak. This is where gal friends really shine. I’ve literally gone into bars with a girl as my wingman! Like I said, these are invaluable relationships! By the time a girl is helping you in this capacity, believe me she will be so valuable to you as a friend that you won’t want her as anything else!
Immature guys will want to fuck every girl they talk to. Or some guys start a friendship with a girl thinking that someday he will have his chance with her, and thus avoids subjects like relationships or dating. I say screw that, if a girl wants to be my friend she’s going to know and like me for who I am, and that’s a sexual person that wants to date women. A woman that wants to be your friend would have to be extremely unreasonable not to respect you being real with her in that capacity. And most of them will help 
I had a really good friend of mine, (super hot) help me with an online dating profile. She helped me take pictures, choose clothing, and even took a pic with me where she was fawning over me playing guitar. I got so much tail off of that profile that I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. The key is that I was just real with her, and we developed an extreemly close friendship.. And guess what happened when she saw me around town with tons of hot women? I’ll give you one guess.. Just don’t be a tool and you can have it all, it amazes me how few men realize it.
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redpoppy
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 282
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Quote:
Dr. P. Silocybin said:
Quote:
redpoppy said:
Tell her that you have dry/oily skin
Then once you've established connection invite her somewhere where there will be other people; if you've both said you love star trek say you've got a group going to the new trek film.
hey baby, I've got really dry skin and a bad case of acne. do you want to go to a star trek movie with me?
Hahahaha. Almost irresistible! Try i more like this - "hey, can i ask you for some advice. You seem to have nice skin. My skin's been getting a little dry. What do.women do about stuff like that?"
Notice "nice". Not beautiful. Just nice. You don't even fancy her. She is not a sexual thing. And the rest is "me man! Me not know silly things!"
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CarnivalBarker
wizard
Registered: 04/19/10
Posts: 2,668
Last seen: 7 months, 10 days
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: redpoppy]
#15719174 - 01/26/12 02:12 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
redpoppy said:
Tell her that you have dry/oily skin
Then once you've established connection invite her somewhere where there will be other people; if you've both said you love star trek say you've got a group going to the new trek film.
If a relationship develops out of this, you can probably get some pretty kinky star trek roleplaying going on.
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Anonymous #1
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Well, I appreciate all the responses this thread has gotten. I have a son who is two and the lady friend I mentioned earlier will be watching one of our friends son who is about the same age for the weekend. She asked if we would come over so that the two could play. I'm hoping this will be a good opportunity for us to interact and maybe I can determine if she is interested in me beyond our friendship. Either way, it will just be nice to hang out with someone and watch my little guy play with someone his age.
Good vibes will be much appreciated.
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Dr. P. Silocybin
I dig love
Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 1,601
Loc: limbo
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15720278 - 01/26/12 12:40 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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AcidMonster
Mindful Warrior
Registered: 07/13/11
Posts: 472
Loc: OR
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I'm at lost for approaching women in public such as school or eating somewhere. A situation where there's not enough of a mutual connection to go off of for the first sentence. Which is always the hard part for me. Any suggestions what works for you would be appreciated. I feel like I try too hard in my mind or talk myself out of it the other 50% of the time.
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Dr. P. Silocybin
I dig love
Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 1,601
Loc: limbo
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: AcidMonster]
#15723757 - 01/27/12 05:38 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
AcidMonster said:
I'm at lost for approaching women in public such as school or eating somewhere. A situation where there's not enough of a mutual connection to go off of for the first sentence. Which is always the hard part for me. Any suggestions what works for you would be appreciated. I feel like I try too hard in my mind or talk myself out of it the other 50% of the time.
hey man you're not alone. It's not even just women, I have no ability to make small talk. I don't know how to start conversations with random people. I mean if I have something real to say and someone random person happens to around at the right time I'll say it to them and get into a conversation, but I'm not able to go up to people with the sole intent of starting conversation. What the fuck am I supposed to say? I don't know you at all, should I just ask some really deep/intimate question so we can avoid the light small talk bullshit? I want to talk to people I don't know, I just don't know how to do it without trying to do it. because the real problem is that I'm trying to make conversation, and anyone can tell that, it needs to flow naturally.
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Anonymous #1
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What bothers me is when I actually have something to say, but there is that one person who will just not shut the fuck up and give anyone else a chance for input...
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Anonymous #3
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Quote:
Dr. P. Silocybin said:
What the fuck am I supposed to say? I don't know you at all, should I just ask some really deep/intimate question so we can avoid the light small talk bullshit?
Are you serious? If you don’t know someone, do you really think that asking them a really deep/intimate question is the way to go? 
I’m sorry but that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard... Ever wonder why they call it small talk?...
I have had a gf for years now, so I don’t approach random women anymore. But last time I got laid I had started the conversation by telling a group of people about some article I read about a guy digging up a human skull in his back yard and turning it into a bong lol.. Try to avoid the deep/intimate stuff until you hook her.
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Dr. P. Silocybin
I dig love
Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 1,601
Loc: limbo
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#15725586 - 01/27/12 05:44 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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alright #3, obviously I wouldn't go up to a random girl and ask her how her relationship with her parents is, or if she knows anyone who has died of cancer, or anything really personal like that. I really just meant deeper than talking about the weather. something like, "what makes you happier than anything else" I don't think that would be any weirder than telling random girls about some dude who made a bong out of a human skull. I mean I see how its an interesting story, but it would be kinda weird to approach a random chick in public just to tell her about skull bongs. I think the only reason that worked for you was because you were talking to a group of people. Approaching girls one on one and opening the conversation with skull bongs can't have a very high success rate.
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AcidMonster
Mindful Warrior
Registered: 07/13/11
Posts: 472
Loc: OR
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Asking them for help or their opinion is a good jumping point. Again, that needs to be in the right context though
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Skylar
Sexy Model Physique
Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15729067 - 01/28/12 01:54 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Just be you....
I don't like corny pick up lines. Women notice gentlemen like characterisics before you even speak, so mabye just start opening a few doors for pretty women,
Skylar
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Ladies... how do I approach you? [Re: Skylar]
#15729475 - 01/28/12 04:07 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Well, I hung out with the lady friend this morning and let the boys play for a bit. She left for nap time, but asked us to come over for dinner
I still had the slight feeling of nervousness just being around her, but chasing after the little guys helped ease that tension.
Looking forward to tonight.
Nothing like good food and a pretty girl. Hope the boys play well so that we can have a better chance to talk.
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