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Anonymous #1
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 Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. 
#15611037 - 01/03/12 06:12 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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I met this extremely beautiful young girl 6 months ago.
The girl told me she had been using cocaine for a few years... used it heavily for a period of 6-7 months on an everyday basis and after that and till today, she uses cocaine whenever avaliable (once every 15 days or once a month) or whenever a <friend> shares some with her (this happens often since she is ultra hot)
In between, she tries to get high off alcohol, weed ,mdma and whatever avaliable in a persistant way. I tried to tell her in a very polite way, that she might be feeling such an urge for intoxication due to the withdrawal from the cocaine.
We tripped on psychedelics together, multiple times in an atemp to distract her mind from the harmful dust. The trips seemed to help a bit, but the urge to go out on weekends with the hope to find whatever or cocaine in order to get high didn't seem to fade.
I talked with her brother and close friends about the problem that she so passionately denies to have. Her brother and close friends talked to her about it, but now she thinks i scared the shit out them all, because i overreacted and talked heavily about a small problem and made it sound serious.
She usualy denies her addiction and says it is not serious, she is often sick tho..
She didn't liked the fact that we talked about her problem with her brother and friend behind her back as she says, and felt very angry that we say she has a problem.
Do you think this anger is because of the denial of the real problem? She told me she completely lost her interest in me because of what i did to her and the problems i have caused to her life.
I feel i have done the right thing, but i am very sad to see her hate me. She needs support, and i knew she wont get any unless some people around her see it this way. As i said ,she denies that she has a problem most of the times to me.
Will she ever understand and forgive me? Did i loose her forever because i ade her feel problematic?
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 King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows
 
Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 4,164
Last seen: 11 hours, 46 minutes
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 Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15611076 - 01/03/12 06:20 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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It is NEVER a problem until the user feels it is. Mostly because problems come with a solution and if a person doesn't want to get clean their is no way to make them
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Your god is dead, and i killed him.
The moment you refuse the human rights for just a few, what happens when that view includes you?-Chuck D.
The X I got won't find you treasure, it'll leave you rollin so hard you leave in a stretcher-Chris Webby
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OGTubs
Stranger
Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 693
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15611081 - 01/03/12 06:21 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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She sounds like your typical druggy slut. Good riddance. Those are the bitches you bang and toss. Sucking dick for coke is not wifey behavior.
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 mrGerard1277
Registered: 10/03/11
Posts: 263
Loc: Detroit 
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15611096 - 01/03/12 06:25 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Yea u went about it all wrong. Unless shes on the corner selling ass or stealing shit u should of not told her family. Twice a month is not a crisis or a need for an intervention. Yea she probaly hates u bro. I hope im worng
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mrGerard1277
Registered: 10/03/11
Posts: 263
Loc: Detroit
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: OGTubs] 1
#15611117 - 01/03/12 06:31 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
OGTubs said:
She sounds like your typical druggy slut. Good riddance. Those are the bitches you bang and toss. Sucking dick for coke is not wifey behavior.
Chicks jonsesing for more A1_yola will do preaty much any thing to get it.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: mrGerard1277] 1
#15611159 - 01/03/12 06:42 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Its not your place to help her. Let her do what she wants.
 If she was smart, she'd figure out the flaw in her cycle of abuse on her own. Don't waste your time trying to save her. You can never save an addict from themselves.
It sounds like she just wants to party and be fucked up all the time. If she can't realize thats not a sustainable way of life on her own, you certainly won't be able to convince her of it.
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Mr. Bojangles
Breathe In
Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 1,534
Loc: The Dirty
Last seen: 19 days, 6 hours
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: mrGerard1277]
#15611226 - 01/03/12 06:55 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Do you think this anger is because of the denial of the real problem? She told me she completely lost her interest in me because of what i did to her and the problems i have caused to her life.
Yes.
Quote:
I feel i have done the right thing, but i am very sad to see her hate me. She needs support, and i knew she wont get any unless some people around her see it this way. As i said ,she denies that she has a problem most of the times to me.
Ehhh....you should never call an addict an addict, they need to come to this realization themselves. They deny it even more when it comes from family. This is coming from an ex heroin addict. Tough love works for a lot of people. When family and friends stop supporting them, they'll finally be so broken to finally accept it. Sooner or later she'll realize they have a problem and seek help or she'll hit rock bottom and when no one wants to support them they come to the realization, or she'll be at rock bottom and her Dad will pick her up and say he's taking her out to eat but instead drops her off at an inpatient rehab where, after many hours of classes, counseling, and sober living she realizes she's an addict (yeah...that last one works sometimes too  ).
There's really no easy way to get a person to get help for a supposed addiction until they want it themselves. People can be in active addiction for years or decades, in and out of rehab's with no progress whatsoever. This isn't meant to put you down but we're very very stubborn when we're using, our brains aren't working correctly and our ego is out of control.
My advice is to just leave it alone. If she really does have a problem, providing support while she's still using is enabling. If her use is not making her life unmanageable then she'll continue to use as she see fits.
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"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong."
-Fracois Marie Voltaire
Edited by Mr. Bojangles (01/03/12 07:29 PM)
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
 
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,348
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 15 days, 11 hours
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15611290 - 01/03/12 07:13 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Do you think this anger is because of the denial of the real problem?
Very unlikely. It's most likely she's angry at you because you went behind her back and because you're trying to change her. You have no right to do that no matter how fucked up her life is. Offer help only when asked, you're not her savior and she doesn't need to be saved from something she doesn't want to quit.
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All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
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mrGerard1277
Registered: 10/03/11
Posts: 263
Loc: Detroit
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: MushroomTrip]
#15611370 - 01/03/12 07:28 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Thats the truth.
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withoutawire
Bunny Lover
Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 10,922
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 5 hours, 44 minutes
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: mrGerard1277]
#15613335 - 01/04/12 02:22 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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I am 5 months sober myself and I can tell you she sounds exactly like a drug addict. She hasn't had consequences so she doesn't see that she has a problem. There is nothing you can do except tell her how worried you are and she's going to lose everything if she keeps it up. What she does with it is her choice only.
You need to dump her and tell her it's about the cocaine and be 100% honest. You will NEVER have a future with this girl. You will NEVER be happy with her. she will cause you pain and turmoil ONLY. Get out now.
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Jwlst
Stranger
Registered: 02/24/05
Posts: 1,338
Last seen: 8 months, 3 days
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: withoutawire]
#15613807 - 01/04/12 06:22 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Buy an 8ball, call her up and offer her some. Suppose you are right, then the bitch should come running back, let her suck you off for some of the coke then chuck her out.
If she is truely an addict like you say, you will be suprised at how often she will keep returning, each time trading her pride and respect for a line. This will solidify to you the point that she is nothing more than a cheap co(c)ked out whore.
Rinse and repeat using her for sex until she is out of your system.
If you were wrong, she will tell you to get fucked and you will deserve it for being such a dickhead and making shit up about her.
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shimishimiman
Jaded Optimist
Registered: 03/21/09
Posts: 423
Loc: Shmexas, Texas
Last seen: 16 hours, 25 minutes
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Jwlst]
#15615199 - 01/04/12 03:34 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jwlst said:
Buy an 8ball, call her up and offer her some. Suppose you are right, then the bitch should come running back, let her suck you off for some of the coke then chuck her out.
If she is truely an addict like you say, you will be suprised at how often she will keep returning, each time trading her pride and respect for a line. This will solidify to you the point that she is nothing more than a cheap co(c)ked out whore.
Rinse and repeat using her for sex until she is out of your system.
If you were wrong, she will tell you to get fucked and you will deserve it for being such a dickhead and making shit up about her.
Damn, that is fucking brilliant.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: shimishimiman]
#15615532 - 01/04/12 04:53 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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yeah dude its a shitty situation
the girl ive been hooking up with and chilling with the last couple months is a recovering H/opiate addict...and its just really hard to trust this girl and ive def suspected her of doing it once or twice since we have been toegther
honestly if i ever find out for sure shes doing it, the first thing im gonna do is tell her parents...i just dont wanna watch someone i care for ruin their life
i mean she would def be pissed at me and not wanna hang with me for a while, but i think it wold be worth it...deep down no matter how pissed she would be at me, she would know i would be doing it for her own good
i guess the difference btwn ur situation and mine is that your girl hasnt truly admitted it to herself yet, my girl has been to rehab 3 times now and just got off methadone like 6 weeks ago
u did the right thing, even if ashe breaks up with you, if you care about her, it was worth it
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OGTubs
Stranger
Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 693
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15615919 - 01/04/12 06:09 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Brother is one thing, parents is a dick move
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Mr. Bojangles
Breathe In
Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 1,534
Loc: The Dirty
Last seen: 19 days, 6 hours
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15615977 - 01/04/12 06:21 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
honestly if i ever find out for sure shes doing it, the first thing im gonna do is tell her parents...i just dont wanna watch someone i care for ruin their life
i mean she would def be pissed at me and not wanna hang with me for a while, but i think it wold be worth it...deep down no matter how pissed she would be at me, she would know i would be doing it for her own good
I think you underestimate the power of an active addict's brain/ego to completely fabricate it's own reality.
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"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong."
-Fracois Marie Voltaire
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withoutawire
Bunny Lover
Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 10,922
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 5 hours, 44 minutes
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: OGTubs]
#15618093 - 01/05/12 01:19 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
OGTubs said:
Brother is one thing, parents is a dick move
No. She's on fucking heroin. Everyone deserves to know.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,348
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 15 days, 11 hours
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: withoutawire] 1
#15618657 - 01/05/12 04:08 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Similarly, everyone deserves to know you post on the shroomery and everything about your drug use.
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All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
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OGTubs
Stranger
Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 693
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: withoutawire]
#15620486 - 01/05/12 04:34 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
withoutawire said:
Quote:
OGTubs said:
Brother is one thing, parents is a dick move
No. She's on fucking heroin. Everyone deserves to know.
I see your point but trying to fuck up her life even more isn't going to help her. The only real intervention around is hitting rock bottom.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: OGTubs]
#15620497 - 01/05/12 04:37 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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shes had a problem with it before and im not gonna sit there and just let her ruin herself
its past the point of moderation for her
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,348
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 15 days, 11 hours
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Re: Cocaine addiction and girlfriend. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15620569 - 01/05/12 04:50 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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And who are you to decide how her life should be? Your thinking is completely disgusting. 
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All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
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