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 Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 168,361
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck 
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 Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today  [Re: BothHands]
#15546582 - 12/20/11 07:39 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bothhands said:Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
I have a steak recipe for vegetarians
believe it or not, I own my own tux... it's like this one
Haha, how does that work?
You have any pics of you wearing said tux?
cook the steaks of vegetarian s until desired doneness
there are pics of me in the tux as well as other suits but I do not have
them, some damned eastern european wimmins do and I havent seen them in
several years... maybe if I decide to dress for new years I'll see if
someone will take a pic of me for ya
I can take a pic of the tux though, it's in my bathtub with several other
suits and coats and stuff, the stupid rubbermaid closet rack shit fell and
while I did get ambitious enough to rehang it, handing the fancy duds was
low on the priority list
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there are 923 words in the english language that do not follow the "I before E"
rule, there are 44 words in the english language that follow the rule. this is
the shit our education funding is paying for and these liberals want more money
for education to keep making students stupid
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 BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc:
Last seen: 5 days, 14 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1] 1
#15546598 - 12/20/11 07:42 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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You're going to Hannibal me, huh? Feed me to myself?
Jesus, you've always got the strangest excuses. Eastern European women and underpants gnomes.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 168,361
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546619 - 12/20/11 07:46 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
You're going to Hannibal me, huh? Feed me to myself?
no... I couldnt do that. I can cook vegetables, it's just like cooking real food 
Quote:
Jesus, you've always got the strangest excuses. Eastern European women and underpants gnomes.
dont be knocking Deena or Sovi damn it
 
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there are 923 words in the english language that do not follow the "I before E"
rule, there are 44 words in the english language that follow the rule. this is
the shit our education funding is paying for and these liberals want more money
for education to keep making students stupid
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc:
Last seen: 5 days, 14 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546636 - 12/20/11 07:48 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Haha, I didn't say they were fake, just a stranger than normal excuse.  You get yourself into some whacky shit.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 168,361
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546653 - 12/20/11 07:52 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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it's because I have an electric mouth, the shit I say is often used against
me, about this time last year I almost had to go home with an amazon of a
black woman because I havent learned to shut the hell up. I'm kinda wishing
I had now...
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there are 923 words in the english language that do not follow the "I before E"
rule, there are 44 words in the english language that follow the rule. this is
the shit our education funding is paying for and these liberals want more money
for education to keep making students stupid
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc:
Last seen: 5 days, 14 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546669 - 12/20/11 07:55 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Hahaha, would have been one more story to tell us little whippersnappers.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 168,361
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15546703 - 12/20/11 08:03 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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it started all harmless, she was a waitress and I said "if you refill my
coffee I promise I'll love you for a week", she said 'only a week?' and I
said "yeah bit only for an hour at a time with an occasional smoke break"
then it was on, she started rubbing my neck and talking dirty. she was about
28 or so, apparently tired of black men with no job, I told her I'm not
allowed out of the house without adult supervision because I get into trouble
and she's like "I can help you get into trouble"
it all stemmed from me talking shit to a kid that was working with me, he's
19 and never even kissed a girl, lacked self confidence and I told him that
he's got nothing to be afraid of, he's a good looking guy and he just needs
to put himself out there. I really do get myself into a lot of shit, it's
rarely ever bad and it's usually pretty damned funny watching me try and
squirm my way out
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there are 923 words in the english language that do not follow the "I before E"
rule, there are 44 words in the english language that follow the rule. this is
the shit our education funding is paying for and these liberals want more money
for education to keep making students stupid
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BargainBab
Hey Dere Ho Dere
Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 1,178
Loc: Callisto
Last seen: 4 months, 16 days
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: shadowplay] 1
#15546743 - 12/20/11 08:12 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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I smoked out a mexican we found in front of home depot to do our tiling
We were just shooting the shit, we talked about futurama(we're both fans), dogs, credit cards, just bullshitting. As soon as I figured this guy was cool I whipped out a black and mild stuffed with the good. He was so chill about it when I passed it to him, he hit it without mentioning it. By the time we were done I was baked like fuck, and I had a pretty astronomical tolerance at the time.
He began to just fuck up the tiles so I told him to chill in the living room. It couldn't have been forty seconds before I hear a ruckus. I come back in and he had jumped on my recliner and rode it to the floor while doing the dance singing"B-E-N-D-E-R. BEEEEEENNNDDEERRR!" It turns out he had never smoked weed before in his life
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Oh wow, GOOD Nyborg!
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passifloracaerulea
glass miner
Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 4,131
Loc: oregon coast
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Prisoner#1]
#15546749 - 12/20/11 08:15 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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years ago these crazy mormon girls would come around my house every single week to talk with me. i was always out in my greenhouse or in the yard. they tried multiple times to convert me, and i swear they were trying to entice me with new single women each week. these girls were all over me, touching just about everything but my...seriously, it was a bit weird, but they were cute. i married a witch instead who ruined my life.
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shLong
Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 10,285
Loc:
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A mexican who has never smoked weed before?
what kind of shitty excuse for a mexi is he?
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x Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 5,781
Loc: Shpongleland, Canada 
Last seen: 53 minutes, 49 seconds
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: shLong]
#15546799 - 12/20/11 08:25 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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At least his first time wasn't with mexican brick weed. That would have sucked.
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Rexter
Tripper
Registered: 05/03/09
Posts: 8,696
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 18 hours, 15 minutes
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: x Ju x]
#15546814 - 12/20/11 08:28 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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And ironic
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Fuck any drug that dosnt have a vowel -me
"Ha! Marshall you're so funny man You should be a comedian, god damn!" Unfortunately I am I just hide behind the tears of a clown"
Meteloides said:
Stick to naturally occurring substances! Like Shrooms! And DMT! And Datura! And Amanita Phalloides! And Nutmeg! And Hemlock!
That'll expand the shit out of your DNA.
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shLong
Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 10,285
Loc:
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Rexter]
#15546831 - 12/20/11 08:30 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Sad story, but I never even seen kind buds (dro, hi grade, whatever you call it etc) until I was 19 or so. (thats 5-6 years of only brick/schwag.)
It didnt even look like weed to me, I thought it was the craziest shit I ever seen.
Edited by shLong (12/20/11 08:31 PM)
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BargainBab
Hey Dere Ho Dere
Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 1,178
Loc: Callisto
Last seen: 4 months, 16 days
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: shLong]
#15546864 - 12/20/11 08:35 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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 That sucks man, big time lol. When I first started smoking I had copious amounts of cash(it's not like I spending it on pot before then) and a hookup for medical grade and eventually lost that job and that hookup. Now I'm mostly on mids, and every so often reggie comes over
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Oh wow, GOOD Nyborg!
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Cj-B
All the same...I saw it first.
Registered: 07/16/11
Posts: 2,616
Loc: Illinois
Last seen: 1 hour, 8 minutes
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15547658 - 12/20/11 10:55 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
Haha, that'd be cool if you were.
Quote:
danielx said:
good thing you didn't get victimized. I don't know where you live, but I don't answer the door to anyone I don't know.
I do live in a ghetto neighborhood, but I had a rottweiler. He wasn't going to do anything funny. My rottie was licking his hands to see how he tasted if he decided to do anything dumb.
Yay! Someone else with a rottweiler! I loves rottweilers. My family used to breed em.
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Men are born for games. Nothing else. Every child knows that play is nobler than work. He knows too that the worth or merit of a game is not inherent in the game itself but rather in the value of that which is put at hazard. Games of chance require a wager to have meaning at all. Games of sport involve the skill and strength of the opponents and the humiliation of defeat and the pride of victory are in themselves sufficient stake because they inhere in the worth of the principals and define them. But trial of chance or trial of worth all games aspire to the condition of war for here that which is wagered swallows up game, player, all. - The Judge
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Remix
grammer natze
Registered: 08/05/10
Posts: 4,077
Last seen: 3 days, 2 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15548285 - 12/21/11 01:23 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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...what if it was really an undercover narc you smoked with. 
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Visionary Tools
I <3 Thomas Jefferson
Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 6,743
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Remix]
#15548922 - 12/21/11 05:39 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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last day of freedom, I'm tripping on cactus with friends, they order pizza. Guy stares at my friend, friend stares back, friend says "You're as red-eye jedi as I am." they giggled, pizza was parted, and he went on his merry way.
He looked like he had shit to do for the next 32 hours so he didn't partake.
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Wiccan_Seeker said:
slide down a pole than with your legs spread and using your pussy as a brake. Ask the fire department 
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc:
Last seen: 5 days, 14 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: Visionary Tools]
#15549697 - 12/21/11 11:35 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cj-B said:
Quote:
BothHands said:
Haha, that'd be cool if you were.
Quote:
danielx said:
good thing you didn't get victimized. I don't know where you live, but I don't answer the door to anyone I don't know.
I do live in a ghetto neighborhood, but I had a rottweiler. He wasn't going to do anything funny. My rottie was licking his hands to see how he tasted if he decided to do anything dumb.
Yay! Someone else with a rottweiler! I loves rottweilers. My family used to breed em.
Rottweilers are my favorite dog ever. I've had them since I was a baby. We've never not had one. They're the sweetest friendliest warmest dogs I've ever known. And they're low energy too, so they don't mind just chillin for hours. If you get a collie or something, you have to exercise them for like 3 hours a day, but rotties love just chillin. Super good with kids too. We routinely have little ones over, and he's so gentle, and has never so much as knocked one over. They're all in love with him.
I love him so much 
Quote:
Remix said:
...what if it was really an undercover narc you smoked with.
Why would an undercover narc be at my place. I've got like a quarter gram of weed in my house, I'm no big fish. I've never sold drugs, and I barely have money to even do them myself. If I had more to be worried about, I'd definitely worry more. But I think I'm fine.
Quote:
Visionary Tools said:
last day of freedom, I'm tripping on cactus with friends, they order pizza. Guy stares at my friend, friend stares back, friend says "You're as red-eye jedi as I am." they giggled, pizza was parted, and he went on his merry way.
He looked like he had shit to do for the next 32 hours so he didn't partake.
Yeah, those pizza delivery guys are usually baked as hell.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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imachavel
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 8,713
Loc: Florida - not listed
Last seen: 1 hour, 17 minutes
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: BothHands]
#15549829 - 12/21/11 12:12 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
BothHands said:
He came by my house trying to sell me magazines. We talked for about 5 minutes before we came to the topic of magazines, and I made it clear I didn't have the money to buy any. He kept talking though, apparently he only had 10 minutes of his shift left, and was trying to kill time. Eventually asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. I told him no, and he asked me why. I told him I was gay. He took this opportunity to sit on the chair on my front porch, and ask some more questions. So I asked him if he wanted to smoke a bowl. He said SURE, and we got baked as FUCK. Now he's stoned out of his mind and wondering our neighborhood. 
Anyone have similar stories to share?
wow that is fucking awesome. you should have given him a hit of acid LOL
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BothHands
Dog Coffee
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc:
Last seen: 5 days, 14 hours
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Re: So I smoked out a door-to-door salesman today [Re: imachavel]
#15549865 - 12/21/11 12:21 PM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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Haha, if I had acid I'd be taking it myself.
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Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.
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