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Anonymous #1
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 Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation   1
#15488631 - 12/08/11 11:50 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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so immediately after i masturbate, i get this feeling of apathy and disgust. like i should've never masturbated in the first place. i'm just like, "why the fuck did i just do that?" it's really weird..
i've only had sex 3 times and it was with somebody i loved but i never really had an orgasm those 3 times, so i don't know if this same thing applies with actual sex.
i feel like i wouldn't feel regret if i had an orgasm from having sex with someone i love. but if it was a one night stand or something, then i'd probably feel very disgusted about myself.
it's a really weird feeling though.. i feel really bad about myself after i come from masturbating D: i don't know how to get rid of it.
Anyone else feel this way or know why this happens? 
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Anonymous #2
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 Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488666 - 12/09/11 12:01 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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It's natural. Don't feel guilty.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15488699 - 12/09/11 12:09 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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chemical release, loss of the feel good chemicals?
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15488703 - 12/09/11 12:09 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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it could be that you didn't want to in the first place, and when you do it you feel ashamed because you knew you shouldn't, but you still did it. you shouldn't feel guilty though, sometimes you gotta relieve some stress you know?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15488705 - 12/09/11 12:10 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
It's natural. Don't feel guilty.
but how? it seems like i can't help it. 
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488721 - 12/09/11 12:13 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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if you feel ashamed you probably shouldn't do it. control yourself you can do it, you are a human being not an animal.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #4]
#15488734 - 12/09/11 12:17 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
it could be that you didn't want to in the first place, and when you do it you feel ashamed because you knew you shouldn't, but you still did it. you shouldn't feel guilty though, sometimes you gotta relieve some stress you know?
at the time i really do want to do it, i swear. i guess i'm a real horndog. i'd rather not masturbate at all though, i'd rather have sex with someone i care about.
but unfortunately there's no one like that in my life right now D;
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #4]
#15488743 - 12/09/11 12:19 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
if you feel ashamed you probably shouldn't do it. control yourself you can do it, you are a human being not an animal.
yeah, i guess you're right.
i've always been a very sexual person though, and i haven't had sex in about two years, so it's hard D:
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488764 - 12/09/11 12:25 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Go forth and spread your seed sir. 2 years is FAR, FAR too long.  I seriously have trouble wrapping my head around that.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488769 - 12/09/11 12:27 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
if you feel ashamed you probably shouldn't do it. control yourself you can do it, you are a human being not an animal.
yeah, i guess you're right.
i've always been a very sexual person though, and i haven't had sex in about two years, so it's hard D:
Human beings are animals  .
My guess is that OP is a girl (no offence intended), most guys are told by society that it is not only ok to masturbate, its pretty much mandatory. I only feel regret if I was doing, looking at, or thinking about something that falls outside of conventional morality.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #6]
#15488803 - 12/09/11 12:35 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Go forth and spread your seed sir. 2 years is FAR, FAR too long. I seriously have trouble wrapping my head around that.
See, I can't really do that, i can't have sex with somebody unless i love them. :x to me, sex is about passion and love. and i don't have anyone that i love and loves me back at the moment D:
Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
if you feel ashamed you probably shouldn't do it. control yourself you can do it, you are a human being not an animal.
yeah, i guess you're right.
i've always been a very sexual person though, and i haven't had sex in about two years, so it's hard D:
Human beings are animals .
My guess is that OP is a girl (no offence intended), most guys are told by society that it is not only ok to masturbate, its pretty much mandatory. I only feel regret if I was doing, looking at, or thinking about something that falls outside of conventional morality.
you know, i don'tthink i feel regret because of anything society says >.> i just feel literally drained of emotion right after i come. i feel like it could be something hormonal or chemical. i don't know D: i just feel completely not horny right after i come and it makes me feel like a moron for masturbating in the first place.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488833 - 12/09/11 12:46 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah I can see what you're saying, but its more of a problem that I am a fidgeting horndog if I don't orgasm regularly. I start thinking of going to great lengths and crossing my personal boundaries in order to get sex which makes me feel like a dirtbag.
I feel pretty detached from the world after spending hours at the shroomery, and I feel like a moron for wasting so much of my time here, but I am still driven to post. Impulses that can't be controlled are troublesome I guess 
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488845 - 12/09/11 12:52 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Go forth and spread your seed sir. 2 years is FAR, FAR too long. I seriously have trouble wrapping my head around that.
See, I can't really do that, i can't have sex with somebody unless i love them. :x to me, sex is about passion and love. and i don't have anyone that i love and loves me back at the moment D:
I see what you're getting at. Sex with a person in a loving relationship is FAR better than outside of one. That being said, good chemistry is all you need to have satisfying sex, at least from my perspective. Have you tried that? I have tried one night stands without this chemistry when some girl was way into me and I didn't feel likewise and it was pretty meh. This made me feel kind of dirty.
That being said, no sex gets too much to handle after like 4 months. It literally drives me insane and it's all I think about. Very distracting stuff. For that reason, I would bang just about anyone to release this tension after a dry spell for that long.
Edit: How long do you typically wait to have sex in a relationship context? Seems like waiting til love is a pretty hard bargain being that you're in this predicament.
Edited by Anonymous (12/09/11 12:54 AM)
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488858 - 12/09/11 12:59 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Additionally, there is some neurochemical released for males right after they cum which kills the sexual drive. I would imagine this exists in females as well; however, I wasn't really paying attention to that part of the pod cast. Perhaps this is what's happening to you.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #5]
#15488878 - 12/09/11 01:06 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Additionally, there is some neurochemical released for males right after they cum which kills the sexual drive. I would imagine this exists in females as well; however, I wasn't really paying attention to that part of the pod cast. Perhaps this is what's happening to you.
That was just a suspiscion that OP was a female, I'm actually not sure. I don't think it really matters as this is something I think both genders experience to some extent, but there are differences in what is deemed acceptable by society if that plays a part at all.
But, yeah, it sucks after an orgasm especially if there is a messy cleanup involved, fuck that part of it!
Edited by Anonymous (12/09/11 01:07 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #5]
#15488916 - 12/09/11 01:24 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Go forth and spread your seed sir. 2 years is FAR, FAR too long. I seriously have trouble wrapping my head around that.
See, I can't really do that, i can't have sex with somebody unless i love them. :x to me, sex is about passion and love. and i don't have anyone that i love and loves me back at the moment D:
I see what you're getting at. Sex with a person in a loving relationship is FAR better than outside of one. That being said, good chemistry is all you need to have satisfying sex, at least from my perspective. Have you tried that? I have tried one night stands without this chemistry when some girl was way into me and I didn't feel likewise and it was pretty meh. This made me feel kind of dirty.
That being said, no sex gets too much to handle after like 4 months. It literally drives me insane and it's all I think about. Very distracting stuff. For that reason, I would bang just about anyone to release this tension after a dry spell for that long.
Edit: How long do you typically wait to have sex in a relationship context? Seems like waiting til love is a pretty hard bargain being that you're in this predicament.
I haven't tried that, but I was thinking the same thing too; having sex with somebody I feel chemistry for. Honestly, all I think about is sex. I've only had sex with one person in my entire life, and I was absolutely insane for them as they were for me. We had sex very early in the relationship, we were crazy teenagers and both virgins. It was that insane, passionate, teenage fire romance. Cruel circumstances on directly either of our parts basically forced us apart (I was told I was going on vacation for 2 months, ended up moving for 2 years). But that's a long story. :P
I don't even know anymore, man. Life always gives me the Jeffery. -__-
Edit: I have a feeling that if I have sex with someone who I have no love for, even if I have chemistry for them, that my weird apathy-after-orgasm feeling will make me feel like a piece of shit after we have sex. It sucks.
Edited by Anonymous (12/09/11 01:28 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #5]
#15488919 - 12/09/11 01:25 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Additionally, there is some neurochemical released for males right after they cum which kills the sexual drive. I would imagine this exists in females as well; however, I wasn't really paying attention to that part of the pod cast. Perhaps this is what's happening to you.
^^^ This has to be what's happening then. It makes sense >.>
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15488966 - 12/09/11 01:42 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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It sounds like there are some unresolved issues relating to sex for you. I'm not going to attempt to discern what those are, however, I'll just offer a bit of a back story. I have suffered from a sexual guilt for my entire adult existence due to my mom CONSTANTLY going on and on and on about how sex is bad and you should wait til your married, etc. since as long as I can remember. I have long felt that these things don't jive with me, but because they are so ingrained in my person, they have been difficult to overcome. Two things solved this problem:
(1) try sex out with different people you feel comfortable with (i.e. not random dudes/chicks you meet at a bar). People are like flavors of nerds. There are lots of flavors, and it would be supremely unfortunate to not try out some of the flavors.
(2) Tune into the sex with emily podcast. She knows what the fuck is up and talks about sex in a really fun, non-condescending way. Plus, you learn about stuff people are hesitant to communicate about. Listening to her podcast over the years has really helped me overcome some of the issues that have been weighing me down. I think her old episodes are still free. I would start from around episode 100 when menace joins the show as the show blows without him. Currently, it's like 5 bucks a month. TOTALLY WORTH IT.
If those things don't work for you, you could always see a sex therapist about what's going on. No shame in that. It doesn't sound like a hormonal issue to me as your sex drive appears normal from what you've said.
Edit: Don't know til you try. I would try and go into it with an open mind though as your expectation of poor feelings post orgasm could color your expectations for future sexual escapades.
Edit to the edit: I'm not saying my back story relates to whatever you're going through. However, the solutions I offer should work for general undesired feelings towards sex.
Edited by Anonymous (12/09/11 01:49 AM)
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Anonymous #7
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #5]
#15489085 - 12/09/11 02:28 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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I used to feel really guilty when I first started, and it took quite a long time for that to go away. I don't anymore, as there is no reason to. Nothing wrong with it. It feels good, relieves some stress, and it's completely natural. Interestingly, I also got those feelings again the first time I was sexual with a girl. They did go away too though. I'm not the type to just have sex with someone, I have to be pretty into them and be with them for a long time before I'll do it. So I was in love with her, but I still felt dirty and ashamed and wished I hadn't done it right afterwards. But I began to enjoy it and appreciate it. Now that we've broken up, I miss it. Oh well, back to beating off.
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Anonymous #8
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #7]
#15489192 - 12/09/11 03:12 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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OP are you religious at?! Even with out that, I think most people feel shame directly after masturbation, especially in the beginning. Don't worry though, keep at it, as time passes those feeling of regret/shame will fade. Happy jerking!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #5]
#15489378 - 12/09/11 04:22 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
It sounds like there are some unresolved issues relating to sex for you. I'm not going to attempt to discern what those are, however, I'll just offer a bit of a back story. I have suffered from a sexual guilt for my entire adult existence due to my mom CONSTANTLY going on and on and on about how sex is bad and you should wait til your married, etc. since as long as I can remember. I have long felt that these things don't jive with me, but because they are so ingrained in my person, they have been difficult to overcome. Two things solved this problem:
(1) try sex out with different people you feel comfortable with (i.e. not random dudes/chicks you meet at a bar). People are like flavors of nerds. There are lots of flavors, and it would be supremely unfortunate to not try out some of the flavors.
(2) Tune into the sex with emily podcast. She knows what the fuck is up and talks about sex in a really fun, non-condescending way. Plus, you learn about stuff people are hesitant to communicate about. Listening to her podcast over the years has really helped me overcome some of the issues that have been weighing me down. I think her old episodes are still free. I would start from around episode 100 when menace joins the show as the show blows without him. Currently, it's like 5 bucks a month. TOTALLY WORTH IT.
If those things don't work for you, you could always see a sex therapist about what's going on. No shame in that. It doesn't sound like a hormonal issue to me as your sex drive appears normal from what you've said.
Edit: Don't know til you try. I would try and go into it with an open mind though as your expectation of poor feelings post orgasm could color your expectations for future sexual escapades.
Edit to the edit: I'm not saying my back story relates to whatever you're going through. However, the solutions I offer should work for general undesired feelings towards sex.
Awesome insight. Honestly though, I kind of feel like I'd be getting the abridged version of sex by not having it with someone I absolutely have flaming passion for. Nobody influenced me to have this outlook on sex, I've just always valued sex for some reason. I think it's pretty much the most personal thing you can do with a person, and I guess I just want to save it only for the people who mean most to me. 
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15489467 - 12/09/11 05:17 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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If it works for you, it works for you. Don't fix it if it ain't broke. 
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #5]
#15489547 - 12/09/11 06:28 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
I think it's pretty much the most personal thing you can do with a person, and I guess I just want to save it only for the people who mean most to me.
Precisely the reason why I prefer masturbation to interpersonal sex. I only want to have sex with the one who means most to me   
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Anonymous #9
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #6]
#15489617 - 12/09/11 07:31 AM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Sometimes I get post-nut-syndrome, where as soon as I ejaculate, I realize, woah... this isn't worth it.
Or woah... what the fuck porn am I watching?
I must've gone into instinct animal-mode.
Sometimes my instincts overcome me, and I just go maniac for getting some, then once I've got it I'm like.. shit, what the heck came over me?
Overall, I do not have a problem with ejaculating at all.
Perhaps it's a neurological disorder, or it could be a psychological one, did you grow up religious, where it's offensive or something?
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Anonymous #10
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #6]
#15490641 - 12/09/11 01:50 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:
Quote:
I think it's pretty much the most personal thing you can do with a person, and I guess I just want to save it only for the people who mean most to me.
Precisely the reason why I prefer masturbation to interpersonal sex. I only want to have sex with the one who means most to me
I'm in the same boat, I have done 1 night stands in the past but didn't feel that great afterwards, as opposed to a mutual relationship which progresses organically over time, sex that way tends to be wilder and less intimidating .
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Anonymous #11
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Re: Feeling apathy and regret after masturbation [Re: Anonymous #10]
#15522423 - 12/15/11 08:29 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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I'm in the exact same boat as you OP. Save sex for people who mean something to me and almost every time I masturbate, I will be really horny and feeling it but the moment I cum all of a sudden my mood shifts I feel kind of out of it dazed and spaced and overall pretty shitty/ also not horny and wondering why I just did that. Seems to me in my head now that masturbating can be a bit pointless and I'd rather put my time and energy into a real person. But yeh you're not alone in the way it makes you feel.
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