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Anonymous #1
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 How should I handle this? 
#15354394 - 11/11/11 09:56 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Here's the deal. I'm renting with a buddy of mine, been good friends for a while. He's having money problems right now and can't pitch for food shopping.
But... I see him getting high. 
One day he even had a "heart to heart" conversation about how the family wasn't doing to well due to recent events and he was running low on money and asked me to pitch in more money.
At the time I felt sorry and agreed to step up my part, but then I see him with this nasty "legal weed" (not even cheap stuff 20/3g, lasts him a few days), smoking it getting high. I just think to myself "dude?! you have money problems, yet you buy this every few days?!", but act calm about it.
To me... getting high with money problems is bad, but he loves his smoke.
The obvious answer is to me is to start getting our own groceries, but we are friends. Maybe I'm just too sick of this bullshit.
I even made it pretty clear to him that he should stop smoking until this blows over, but his reaction to it was, I want to say evasive. Excuse after excuse about how the money problem isn't that serious and he still has spare cash to get high with.
This made me  on the inside. I left him to be after that... astonished to say the least.
So he's obviously got issues facing the fact, but I've never been in a situation like this and am not really sure what to do.
tldr Roomate would rather get high than buy food.
Any advice? And remember, we're sort of friends.
Edited by Anonymous (11/11/11 09:57 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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now he's being sneaky with his habit 
and thinks i dont know what hes up to  I think he's being a baby.
i can fucking smell it for crying out loud...
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Anonymous #2
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Ask him if he likes food or his fake weed better.
If you're going to be pitching in to keep his lazy ass fed with a roof over his head, you'd soon find yourself saving money by kicking his ass out.
Hell, put it to him like that.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Ask him if he likes food or his fake weed better.
I've thought this would be the way to confront him.
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Anonymous #3
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your room mate is spending forty dollars a week on synth weed... he could only buy a small amount of food supplies(at least here in new jersey) with that but something is better then nothing in my book... and to add insult to injury, he had no problem asking you to step up... were you splitting costs down the middle before he asked you to pony up more? your buddy is taking advantage of you, some people can read others well and rule the situation... i've lived with friends before and none of them pulled this shit though sharing food did become an issue for me at times because people would eat my personal shit and nobody knew who did it...  my girlfriend quickly solved that problem by picking me up a small fridge to keep in my bedroom... problem solved... there's an idea for ya'... you'll have your own stash leaving him with slim pickens'... he eventually get the point... yeah, your buddy is VERY selfish, looking out for number one, a very weak human trait, but they're out there...
Edited by Anonymous (11/11/11 11:08 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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yep, we've split down the middle for over a year without any problems at all. hell, back when i used to smoke more weed, we split that shit straight down the middle, never had a single problem. i just feel times are changing....
because ever since i cut smoking weed enough to be buying an 8th twice a week, hes moved on to the synths (because the cost is all his and he finds it more cost effective, i think.).
i really did feel abused as a friend when he pulled that shit: asking to pitch more for food, and then he just turns and gets back on the subject of acquiring more drugs. one track mind, get high get high get high... (and im only talking cannabinoid high if that makes any difference on how you form your opinion, nothing hard or anything)
its not really about the issue of paying for more food, i just really feel taken advantage of and dont know how to deal with it. its the sneaking around thats getting to me. i dont want to start ranting, but i might have to.
1. He pleads for help because of a dire situation
2. I feel for him and agree to help out
3. He decides it's still okay to spend money on drugs
4. I confront him
5. He says he's fine and goes on to explain the situation will work itself out
Lines 1 and 5 are contradicting and i tried to make it clear to him they contradicted. cant fucking get over it. all i want is the truth from him, but hes always so evasive whenever it comes to something that makes making decisions for him complicated. i think my problem is i dont know how to deal with this type of conversation he brings, dodging the facts and all.
going back to line 5 ^^^... okay, if its going to work itself out FUCKING WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FUCKIN ASK ME FOR FUCKIN HELP?!!??!?!?!
the demons this man holds 
also, kensho, ive always loved your advice  even thought you dont know who i am
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Anonymous #4
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You could give him a time limit before it goes back to being 50-50. It's a less confrontational route, and IMHO, the way helping other people should work.
Don't be a party to training a social leach.
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Anonymous #5
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dude im not gonna lie. that fake weed is kinda addictive. maybe times are hard but
hes addicted and doesnt even know it?
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
If you're going to be pitching in to keep his lazy ass fed with a roof over his head, you'd soon find yourself saving money by kicking his ass out.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
dude im not gonna lie. that fake weed is kinda addictive. maybe times are hard but
hes addicted and doesnt even know it?
I know what's going on in his head, and ya, he's addicted to getting high.
This sounds whiney, but I thought I knew who he was... he was a friend. we used to be similar, but i can feel myself changing, moving forward in life, on step was cutting back smoking which really helped for me. I've taken leaps leaps of progress in many aspects of my life. but my roomate... oh, my roomate... i wouldnt call him a lazy pot head, only because he keeps up with classes, but id call him a closed off pot head, so contained within his own ideas of the situation. stubborn.
this may no longer be an issue about living together and splitting costs, but an issues on who we are and how we interact.
not gonna lie, hes a fucking troll to me. i honestly cant remember the last time we've had a real conversation or even a conversation that doesnt get lost in confusion and utter dumbassery on his part. i want to say sometime before he started up the synth habit.
but i know hes a good guy, hes just blinded at the moment. im just looking for a way to get the message across without beaing mean.
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Anonymous #5
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dude youre gonna have to be mean. i had a best friend like that and i stopped hanging with
him and at first he thought it was hilarious cause he used to piss me off so much
(dumbassery) but then he realized i was serious and the situation was getting outta hand
and he needed to stop with the lazy thoughts and not thinking things thru. its funny cause
we both smoked that fake shit at the time and he seemed stupider than ever when he did it
he doesnt sound like a dumbass and just tell him and be mean if you have to, its helping him
in the long run. once he sees you (his best? friend) is serious, hell take a sec to think
about it and come to his senses
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Anonymous #1
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youre right.
and damn, i can tell you went through pretty much the same thing im going through, you said it perfect, lazy thoughs and no thinking thigs through fully.
fuckin lazy thoughts, i think they are worse than death. come on, at this point youre not even living.
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Anonymous #5
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it was like he was an empty soul and just said yeah.... to whatever i said
he'd forget the lighter when i went to pick him up when he intentionally stole my last one the night before to smoke. little shit like this. ya know, like id pick him up to smoke, and he'd forget his pipe
but it wasnt an every once in a while, im a pot head so excuse me, type of thing. it was a daily
youre a retard how the fuck do i know you thing.
yeah but dont say anything youll regret cause the point is to be harsh and get him to see what happened
and still not hate you for making him feel like shit. just tell him what the situation is (bluntly), preferably when he's fresh out and dont got cash so he doesnt go and smoke and try to forget what happened
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Anonymous #1
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he is always smoking and always getting cash by selling plasma.
id like him to smoke less (keep it to a relaxing in the evening kind of thing) and spend some cash on food, but he wants the high 24/7 which perfectly paid for by the plasma with like 5 bucks left over. i think with him its either all or none, as in smoking, with none not being an option in his head, so hes left with the 24/7 and no extra cash.
hes just stuck in his mind, wont consider anything else.
i like the "just lay it all out there bluntly idea". sort of vocalize the facts at hand, no opinions.
I just have a strong feeling i know how he'll react, but we'll see how it goes.
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Anonymous #5
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doesnt matter how he reacts. tell him how you feel dont let him say his excuses
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Anonymous #5
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and you guys live together so when things calm down after a few days, you can go to his room and have
buttsecks together
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Anonymous #1
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har har har i was waiting for the gay comments to come
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Anonymous #3
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I've been following this thread. I really hope you can work this out because it's clear this friendship means alot to you. I didn't realize synth weed was addictive, I avoid RC's like the plague and i'm definitely not interested is smoking that crap now. I used to party real hard years back until I became addicted to coke and spent four weeks in rehab. I went through almost eighty grand of savings, I was totally out of control, so I understand addiction. I hope you can work this through. Keep us posted by updating this thread. PeaCe2U
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Anonymous #6
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Don't blame the fake weed, it's your friend.
The shit is as addictive as weed. Come on. He's just being a lazy slacking fool.
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Anonymous #5
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Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:
Don't blame the fake weed, it's your friend.
The shit is as addictive as weed. Come on. He's just being a lazy slacking fool.
no. its worse. trust me when i say this.
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Anonymous #7
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sounds like a junkie in the making.
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Anonymous #6
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #6 said:
Don't blame the fake weed, it's your friend.
The shit is as addictive as weed. Come on. He's just being a lazy slacking fool.
no. its worse. trust me when i say this.
I don't smoke weed, I only smoke synthetic. For the past two years or so. Almost daily, though I go through tolerance breaks every now and then.
Roommate is just being a bitch, seriously, he could go without buying fake pot if money was that tight. Cannabanoids are not that addictive period.
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Anonymous #8
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Tell him to go to a food closet or something, or get food stamps. I understand why he would rather get high than buy food, especially when he's under financial stress.
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Anonymous #9
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
your room mate is spending forty dollars a week on synth weed... he could only buy a small amount of food supplies(at least here in new jersey) \
Forty bucks can feed you for a week, even in Jersey.
That's a LOT of rice and beans.
Shit, if you don't mind committing slow suicide, ramen.
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Anonymous #3
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
your room mate is spending forty dollars a week on synth weed... he could only buy a small amount of food supplies(at least here in new jersey) \
Forty bucks can feed you for a week, even in Jersey.
That's a LOT of rice and beans.
Shit, if you don't mind committing slow suicide, ramen.
Tru dat Tru dat! I stand corrected. 
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Anonymous #10
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I got addicted to synth weed. It really sucks. If you want to be a friend give him what he needs, not what he asks for. Get his ass off that fkn shit or let him be homeless until he figures it out. That stuff is harmful more than anyone will know.
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Anonymous #5
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thank you. i really didnt feel like arguing with the tard that said that shit isnt addictive.
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Anonymous #6
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Quote:
Anonymous #10 said:
I got addicted to synth weed. It really sucks. If you want to be a friend give him what he needs, not what he asks for. Get his ass off that fkn shit or let him be homeless until he figures it out. That stuff is harmful more than anyone will know.
Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
thank you. i really didnt feel like arguing with the tard that said that shit isnt addictive.
I'm pretty positive the only "tards" here are the people who get addicted to fake weed.
If you get addicted to fake weed you should probably give up on life now. 
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Anonymous #5
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ok w.e you say bigman. check back in in a few years and let us know how
that manmade drug that wasnt meant to be used on humans treated you.
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Anonymous #10
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
no. its worse. trust me when i say this.
ill agree to that. when i quit i got cold shivers and my hands would sweat.
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Anonymous #1
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You are obviously not having the same problems as my buddy, and I'm curious of what you plan to contribute from your point of view.
Besides calling him a little bitch and telling him to get over it.
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Anonymous #6
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
You are obviously not having the same problems as my buddy, and I'm curious of what you plan to contribute from your point of view.
Besides calling him a little bitch and telling him to get over it.
I have contributed, what else do you want me to say? lol wtf "problems as my buddy" what's the problem, he's fucking lazy? 
He sounds like the type of person who'd rather get high than take care of his priorities. You know, like I know, that if fake weed didn't exist this loser would be buying the real stuff regardless of his money situation. You even said it yourself, "he loves his smoke."  Why is he having a money situation? You left that part out.
I'm pretty sure your buddy just sucks. But go ahead continue to blame the fake weed.
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Anonymous #11
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To be honest I'd probaly rip you off as well, you seem like a push over. Stand up for yourself if you do not wish for people to take advantage of you.
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Anonymous #12
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You can't be nice about this OP. There's no justification for what your "friend" is doing here. His lack of initiative towards his financial issues is raising your cost of living. He's sitting around getting high while you're buying him sandwiches.
He is your friend so confronting shouldn't be an issue. You tell him to put down the fucking pipe and start saving, or starve high. You are not a charity.
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Anonymous #13
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dude, why are you asking us.
Sounds like you KNOW what you need to do, you're just being a puss because he's your buddy.
here's a perspective for you, pretend you're him, taking money from your "friend" (you) because you can't afford food, but then you go and buy drugs with your money. can you see what a selfish bastard he's being?
honestly, if you straight up tell him that you won't give him more money for food until after he quits smoking, then you're not being the bad guy. because he's already being a huge douche.
tl;dr don't be a pussy, tell him to stop being selfish.
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