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zZZz said:
NOOO! don't do it!

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Anonymous said:
it doesn't hurt to ask.. I don't have access to a gun and I Just want out...

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zZZz said:
listen to this in the mean time.

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Psylo Dread said:

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zZZz said:
NOOO! don't do it!

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And there's the reply he was seeking after all.

Massive heroin overdose would be a gentle, cowardly way to go.

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Thanks for telling him

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Anonymous said:
and yes I know from a dealer.. but I mean how to find one

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Psylo Dread said:

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zZZz said:
listen to this in the mean time.

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FUCK, now *I* want to kill myself.

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Prisoner#1 said:
I hate to be nosy  but what brought you to this point?

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Anonymous said:

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Prisoner#1 said:
I hate to be nosy  but what brought you to this point?

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I've always been depressed... even while medicated, the quality of life.. has just lacked flavor... its been a very robotic existence...

I finally found someone that was in short perfect.. and in essence breathed new life into me.. and inside of a week that's been dashed to hell.

Piling that on top of the rest of the crap I don't want to get into... I am just done. Medication doesn't help enough, I have no insurance so can't get the full on help I need.. and I am just tired of this constant fucking depression throwing me through a roller coaster of pain.. Even over stupid little crap like this.

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Anonymous said:

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Prisoner#1 said:
I hate to be nosy  but what brought you to this point?

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I've always been depressed... even while medicated, the quality of life.. has just lacked flavor... its been a very robotic existence...

I finally found someone that was in short perfect.. and in essence breathed new life into me.. and inside of a week that's been dashed to hell.

Piling that on top of the rest of the crap I don't want to get into... I am just done. Medication doesn't help enough, I have no insurance so can't get the full on help I need.. and I am just tired of this constant fucking depression throwing me through a roller coaster of pain.. Even over stupid little crap like this.

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Dr Cid said:
You aren't going to kill yourself. If you were you wouldn't bother posting anonymous.

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I would be lying to say Im not having depressed moments right now, simply cause money and work are really hard to come by, a good girl is really hard to come by, and cheap drugs like alcohol do little to help and probably only make things worse.

But this is what life is about. You even said it yourself OP: 'I finally found someone that was in short perfect."

In other words, you ran into a situation where you were able to make yourself feel better, even if you believed that someone else was doing it for you. That chick or whoever it was didnt put the neurons into your head to make you happy for that short period of time, YOU did. If you could do it once, you could do it again: and we all know the behavior of the mind as with most other things in life is that repetition of behaviors = habit.

You have fallen into a behavior of feeling depressed. You can change your behaviors of feeling depressed by working towards the goal of feeling good inside (think of your statement again, and the fact that it was YOUR mind feeling good). Suicide is the easy way out, and working for happiness is the hard way out. However the hard thing to do, and the right thing to do are usually the same thing, and definitely that is the case here. Cool thing is when you make changes in your life through hard work, you REALLY begin to appreciate all youve accomplished. You look back on hard efforts that paid off only in making you able to feel happiness. And contrasting that happiness with the depression you and most everyone else has felt at times in our lives, you begin to feel the way you did when you met this other perfect person. But theres no one else to make you feel that way, its just you. You are that perfect person.

Best way to commit suicide? None. Just need to work to ensure a good life for yourself. Id suggest finding a good group of people you can hang out with. Also, someone else said getting physical (they said fighting, id recommend joining a sport). For me hard exercise and competition (I play baseball with friends every wednesday) is invigorating. Even when I am feeling depressed about some shit, which I always and usually successfully find a bright side, but even when im feeling down, getting out on the field for those 3 hours turns my fucking week around.

GL OP

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nazakoo said:
Question for you... How do I go about this.. I have never been socially adept. Physically my feet are messed up... the best I can hope for is surgery or quarter-zone shots to get the nerve tissue to stop sending pain signals... I am not able to stand on my feet for long stints...

So if I am going to try that I am rather limited... The only thing I could consider doing is biking or some other sport where I am off my feet.. but that brings me to the original problem... How do I get into these things... I do want to die... I really do... but your words are comforting... enough to at least attempt...

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I hear you man, my feet are fucked up too in a way. I have extra bones or some shit, apparently theyve got a chance of being fucked up later in life. Its up to you whether you want to attempt surgery; I would talk with the doctor to see what the chance of success is vs something going wrong. I have always felt that being active is important in my life; I would opt for surgery if the outlook for success was good. And I will get surgery on my feet if/when my time comes later in life.

Biking is Awesome man! I ride my bike every other night down the coast in a big circle in my city. Im actually getting really confident in my endurance and am looking to do a 100 mile trip (im in southern cali) down to San Diego. Gonna be a hell of a ride . If you have a bike, try looking for some nice natural rides out there, if thats what youre into.

As for getting into groups, I would try everything. Depending on your location you can search google for biking groups

heres one i found that looks kinda cool. I found like 20 in my area.

http://road-biking.meetup.com/

Maybe craigslist as well. But whatever man, even if its not biking, there are plenty of ways to meet up with people. I'm not sure how old you are man but when I was in my early 20's I was dealing with a lot of social problems, anxiety, ocd, and depression. I was determined to overcome that shit (thats the OCD personality for ya ) and started reading self help books, meditation books, just anything I could find to help find answers on how to overcome the shit that I felt was out of control in my life.

I know it sounds a little cheasy but I was even reading those books on how to talk to people (larry king comes to mind, I liked the read!), how to influence people, and how to talk with and flirt with girls, Everything man. It took time and practice but eventually I was able to see that all that negative shit we feel, its all just bullshit going on in our minds. We really get to choose how we want to feel, whether it is feeling down, or embracing the rollercoaster that is life. A common theme among all those self help books and in my life I started to realize is that I have always had control, and I can have control any time I choose to. I just have to sit back, take a deep breath, relax, and remember that this is just a ride.

Look up groups in your area, and go to them, whatever the fuck they may be. There is a really interesting thing ive been looking at trying called the Toastmasters Club (if it costs anything do something else, you dont have to pay to find social groups) where you get up and speak in front of a group of people. Its actually kind of a rush, especially when youre used to being more isolated. But that shit is what its about man, breaking out of the shell youve been in; if its not working, break the fuck out and keep trying new things till you find your niche.

I would check out community centers in your area, maybe they have like an acting/improvisation class available (girls love that shit, and youre chances of meeting some really cool chicks in arts are high). If youre not in college, join a class man, even if youre not interested in getting a degree. When I was taking classes at my community college back in the day I told myself, 'Im gonna hang out and talk to whoever I can!'. It wasnt very hard, there were people everywhere who were interested in talking after class. By the end of the semester there was a group of 4 or 5 of us talking for hours after every class session, like it would get dark and wed still hang out taking. Im still friends with some of these people years later. Put yourself in those situations, as awkward as it may be at first. Youre human, humans learn and youll find your rhythm.

Im telling you this. I put in a lot of work, especially to get over the anxiety, OCD, and it paid off so fucking huge. Even though I get down from time to time, having gotten through that much harder shit earlier in life has made me strong, and given me confidence that I can overcome the odds to better my life. I know things can be Reaaaaly fucking shitty, but if you can get through it with hard work, you will be a monster of confidence, you will love yourself, love life, and embrace every moment man. At 30 I feel like life is just starting, its been awesome, even through the hard shit, but now that I am stable in all those ways i struggled with earlier, its like Ive got a 60 year vacation ahead of me, at least emotionally hehe.

If you have more questions please ask Ill help you with anything I can. I can recommend a million good books to read. Glad you called your friend. Friends are such a great resource, you should force yourself to get out there and meet as many people as you can.

Stay positive bro!

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mick said:
Biking is Awesome man! I ride my bike every other night down the coast in a big circle in my city. Im actually getting really confident in my endurance and am looking to do a 100 mile trip (im in southern cali) down to San Diego. Gonna be a hell of a ride . If you have a bike, try looking for some nice natural rides out there, if thats what youre into.

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  As for getting into groups, I would try everything. ... even if its not biking, there are plenty of ways to meet up with people.

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I'm not sure how old you are

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when I was in my early 20's I was dealing with a lot of social problems, anxiety, ocd, and depression.

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Quote:

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I was determined to overcome that shit and started reading self help books

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Quote:

---

I know it sounds a little cheasy but I was even reading those books on how to talk to people (larry king comes to mind, I liked the read!), how to influence people, and how to talk with and flirt with girls, Everything man. It took time and practice but eventually I was able to see that all that negative shit we feel, its all just bullshit going on in our minds.

---

Quote:

---

We really get to choose how we want to feel, whether it is feeling down, or embracing the rollercoaster that is life. A common theme among all those self help books and in my life I started to realize is that I have always had control, and I can have control any time I choose to. I just have to sit back, take a deep breath, relax, and remember that this is just a ride.

---

Quote:

---

Look up groups in your area, and go to them, whatever the fuck they may be. There is a really interesting thing ive been looking at trying called the Toastmasters Club (if it costs anything do something else, you dont have to pay to find social groups) where you get up and speak in front of a group of people. Its actually kind of a rush, especially when youre used to being more isolated. But that shit is what its about man, breaking out of the shell youve been in; if its not working, break the fuck out and keep trying new things till you find your niche.

---

Quote:

---

I would check out community centers in your area, maybe they have like an acting/improvisation class available (girls love that shit, and youre chances of meeting some really cool chicks in arts are high). If youre not in college, join a class man, even if youre not interested in getting a degree. When I was taking classes at my community college back in the day I told myself, 'Im gonna hang out and talk to whoever I can!'. It wasnt very hard, there were people everywhere who were interested in talking after class. By the end of the semester there was a group of 4 or 5 of us talking for hours after every class session, like it would get dark and wed still hang out taking. Im still friends with some of these people years later. Put yourself in those situations, as awkward as it may be at first. Youre human, humans learn and youll find your rhythm.

Im telling you this. I put in a lot of work, especially to get over the anxiety, OCD, and it paid off so fucking huge. Even though I get down from time to time, having gotten through that much harder shit earlier in life has made me strong, and given me confidence that I can overcome the odds to better my life. I know things can be Reaaaaly fucking shitty, but if you can get through it with hard work, you will be a monster of confidence, you will love yourself, love life, and embrace every moment man. At 30 I feel like life is just starting, its been awesome, even through the hard shit, but now that I am stable in all those ways i struggled with earlier, its like Ive got a 60 year vacation ahead of me, at least emotionally hehe.

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nazakoo said:
just kinda not exactly sure what to look into.. but I will do a googy search for just any sort of random group around my area

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nazakoo said:
27

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nazakoo said:
Currently ADHD, Depression and Bi-polar...

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nazakoo said:
any [book] recommendations for depression... I mean severe depression? for that matter what would be some of the better books you could recommend on actually talking with girls / flirting...?

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nazakoo said:
How do I even get started with atleast one step in the positive direction when I am going head first into a bottomless pit of depression????????

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nazakoo said:
I do not exactly know what has happened to me in the last two days.. but I am starting to do a total 180...

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fngbronco said:
that people are content in point painful lives of depression and continuing down the path even when it hurts, but can't push through the physical pain of working out, knowing once you get used to it you feel amazing and it goes away.

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nazakoo said:
Yeah... I am still struggling with that... He has stopped my hand more times than I can count.. and I have had ... to many real life close calls... the kind that something physically stops you from moving... and if it didn't you would be dead.

I hope whatever he has in store... its worth it.

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nazakoo said:

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Dr Cid said:
You aren't going to kill yourself. If you were you wouldn't bother posting anonymous.

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Ya I am no longer anonymous.. but still feeling like shit and boarder-lining suicide... I am taking some advice I have found while looking for similar posts on this subject... The only one that really stayed my hand was calling a friend lastnight... Its the only reason I didn't gas myself in the garage...

Quote:

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I would be lying to say Im not having depressed moments right now, simply cause money and work are really hard to come by, a good girl is really hard to come by, and cheap drugs like alcohol do little to help and probably only make things worse.

But this is what life is about. You even said it yourself OP: 'I finally found someone that was in short perfect."

In other words, you ran into a situation where you were able to make yourself feel better, even if you believed that someone else was doing it for you. That chick or whoever it was didnt put the neurons into your head to make you happy for that short period of time, YOU did. If you could do it once, you could do it again: and we all know the behavior of the mind as with most other things in life is that repetition of behaviors = habit.

You have fallen into a behavior of feeling depressed. You can change your behaviors of feeling depressed by working towards the goal of feeling good inside (think of your statement again, and the fact that it was YOUR mind feeling good). Suicide is the easy way out, and working for happiness is the hard way out. However the hard thing to do, and the right thing to do are usually the same thing, and definitely that is the case here. Cool thing is when you make changes in your life through hard work, you REALLY begin to appreciate all youve accomplished. You look back on hard efforts that paid off only in making you able to feel happiness. And contrasting that happiness with the depression you and most everyone else has felt at times in our lives, you begin to feel the way you did when you met this other perfect person. But theres no one else to make you feel that way, its just you. You are that perfect person.

Best way to commit suicide? None. Just need to work to ensure a good life for yourself. Id suggest finding a good group of people you can hang out with. Also, someone else said getting physical (they said fighting, id recommend joining a sport). For me hard exercise and competition (I play baseball with friends every wednesday) is invigorating. Even when I am feeling depressed about some shit, which I always and usually successfully find a bright side, but even when im feeling down, getting out on the field for those 3 hours turns my fucking week around.

GL OP

---

Question for you... How do I go about this.. I have never been socially adept. Physically my feet are messed up... the best I can hope for is surgery or quarter-zone shots to get the nerve tissue to stop sending pain signals... I am not able to stand on my feet for long stints...

So if I am going to try that I am rather limited... The only thing I could consider doing is biking or some other sport where I am off my feet.. but that brings me to the original problem... How do I get into these things... I do want to die... I really do... but your words are comforting... enough to at least attempt...

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