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Anonymous #1
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 Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? 
#14675864 - 06/26/11 06:52 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Well, my girlfriend got a call back from her gyno saying that she tested positive for HPV. She gets tested every year but last year some law changed in our state where girls had to be 21 for HPV testing or some shit so they didn't test her for it because she was 20 last year.
Seeing that we frequently have unprotected sex (she's on the pill), there's probably a 99.9999% chance that I also have HPV. I haven't been tested in about 2 years, but I know I was clean the last time I got tested and I've only had sex with two girls since then... my ex and my current girlfriend, in that order. I also got head from friend of mine who later told me that she found out she had HPV, but I doubt that was it.
At this point playing the finger pointing game is pointless, we'll never know if I gave it to her or she gave it to me. The thing is that there IS a chance that my ex gave it to me and I ended up giving it to my girlfriend.
So should I call up my ex that I haven't talked to in a year and tell her? I know she has health insurance and goes to the gyno relatively frequently due to a very high risk of breast and uterine cancer in her family. My guess is if she has HPV she would know about it already. Should I call her anyway?
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14675933 - 06/26/11 07:07 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Are you not strong-minded enough to make this decision on your own?
Call her if you want to. Otherwise let her infect the world with her sloppy pussy 
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 Victarius
So I herd you liek Boxxy
Registered: 12/17/10
Posts: 226
Last seen: 1 month, 7 days
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14675956 - 06/26/11 07:12 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Most women have PAP smears done on a regular basis. I'm fairly certain your ex already knows, so don't sweat the small stuff.
Also, as for HPV, don't sweat it either.
Of the nearly 200 documented strains, 70% of infections are gone in one year, with no ill-effects. 90% are gone in two years.
There are only 2 strains that cause 70% cervical cancer cases, and they cause the precancerous lesions after multiple infections.
Most strains that even show up only cause skin warts. Only two strains cause 90% of genital warts, and usually the infected person clears out the infection before warts appear. (giving the infection to others during this time is likely, though.)
80% of sexually active Americans will get HPV at some point in there lives.
So, don't sweat the small stuff.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: Victarius]
#14677718 - 06/27/11 01:18 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Are you not strong-minded enough to make this decision on your own?
Call her if you want to. Otherwise let her infect the world with her sloppy pussy
Seriously? Was that response really necessary? I've never been in a situation where I've had an STD and it's a weird deal for me... I figure some people here might have been in a similar situation and could offer me some words of wisdom rather than shit all over me like you did. Thanks for that, buddy.
Quote:
Victarius said:
Of the nearly 200 documented strains, 70% of infections are gone in one year, with no ill-effects. 90% are gone in two years.
There are only 2 strains that cause 70% cervical cancer cases, and they cause the precancerous lesions after multiple infections.
Yeah the girlfriend and I did a lot of research after hearing the results. It sounds like within the next two years it should be gone because we are both young and are able to fight it off. One thing that still confuses me is... If we both have it... Would we be passing it back and forth thereby lessening our chances of getting rid of it? I would think once the immune system builds the antibodies to get rid of it that it shouldn't really make a difference, but that question still burns in my mind.
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 anunnakian
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 12,804
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14677794 - 06/27/11 01:32 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Not even reading the post.
But yes you should.
My good friend got cervical cancer because of that. Her current husband passed it to her from a previous relationship.
They need to know so they can keep an eye on it.
BTW, it was fixed as far as I know because it was caught early enough.
Edited by anunnakian (06/27/11 01:34 AM)
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: anunnakian]
#14677851 - 06/27/11 01:42 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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why are women such disgusting creatures? see crystal g's thread in the pub. i'm glad im gay
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anunnakian
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 12,804
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#14677874 - 06/27/11 01:46 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
why are women such disgusting creatures? see crystal g's thread in the pub. i'm glad im gay
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 3 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: anunnakian]
#14678443 - 06/27/11 04:50 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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dude like almost everyone has HPV. if she's getting her paps like she's supposed to thats all she could hope to do.
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: dummy]
#14678445 - 06/27/11 04:54 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Fuck her thats why shes an ex
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automan
blasted chipmunk
Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 6,722
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14679172 - 06/27/11 11:38 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Well, my girlfriend got a call back from her gyno saying that she tested positive for HPV. She gets tested every year but last year some law changed in our state where girls had to be 21 for HPV testing or some shit so they didn't test her for it because she was 20 last year.
Seeing that we frequently have unprotected sex (she's on the pill), there's probably a 99.9999% chance that I also have HPV. I haven't been tested in about 2 years, but I know I was clean the last time I got tested and I've only had sex with two girls since then... my ex and my current girlfriend, in that order. I also got head from friend of mine who later told me that she found out she had HPV, but I doubt that was it.
At this point playing the finger pointing game is pointless, we'll never know if I gave it to her or she gave it to me. The thing is that there IS a chance that my ex gave it to me and I ended up giving it to my girlfriend.
So should I call up my ex that I haven't talked to in a year and tell her? I know she has health insurance and goes to the gyno relatively frequently due to a very high risk of breast and uterine cancer in her family. My guess is if she has HPV she would know about it already. Should I call her anyway?
Man, I'd probably tell her. Chances are, she does know. But if she doesn't, she at least needs to know to tell her gyno so they can be more proactive on cervical cancer screenings.
HPV is kinda like abortions in secrecy. I was sitting around with some guy friends of mine last year and we were drinking and talking about life. One of them said something related to abortions and I saw he was really thinking about it. So I chimed in and told him about when I was a teenager, I got my gf preggers and we got one. There was a silent moment, then half the guys chimed in saying the same. We'd never talked about it before. I never asked my buddy about why it stressed him, but he took comfort that more than half of us had been there/done that.
Later that night, drunker and in a rare talking mood (guys can go a decade without being in that mood, it seems), we are talking about girls we'd had sex with. I brought up that one girl gave me HPV, then all but one guy chimed in saying they'd caught it too. Basically, some tiny bumps show up after a while, then they go away. This was 6 years ago for me and they haven't come back, so I guess on the STD scale... it's not so bad.
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No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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mick
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 7,948
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 7 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: automan]
#14679422 - 06/27/11 12:52 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Even though your HPV has cleared up do you still disclose this to new sexual partners, or did you ever?
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: automan]
#14679631 - 06/27/11 01:56 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah I was doing some reading and 90% of HPV cases are gone within 2 years. I guess out of all the STDs to get HPV or chlamydia(easily treated with antibiotics) would be the easiest to deal with.
I guess I will give the ex a call tonight... After a few beers. Man this is gonna be awkward. "So how have you been? Been a while, right? Yeah, well I have HPV. Just thought you should know."
Ugh...
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caringstd66
Stranger
Registered: 03/21/11
Posts: 6
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#14684072 - 06/28/11 04:11 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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ummmm. i know it's hard to accept it..why me? but you have to..just get treated actively.. if you like, you can check others' hpv treatment ways on STDdatings. hope it helps. good luck.
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automan
blasted chipmunk
Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 6,722
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: mick]
#14685245 - 06/28/11 11:40 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
mick said:
Even though your HPV has cleared up do you still disclose this to new sexual partners, or did you ever?
Always. I've only run across one girl that turned down sex after telling her. The rest just said, "wrap it up"
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No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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mick
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 7,948
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 7 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: automan]
#14686335 - 06/28/11 03:33 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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How do you tell them? Are these typically girls you just met, or have developed something of a relationship with?
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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automan
blasted chipmunk
Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 6,722
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: mick]
#14686788 - 06/28/11 04:40 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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If it's just a hook up date, I tell them after the first 2 drinks. I ask her what 'deal breakers' she has. Like, what's she afraid to tell people. If she says 'nothing' and it's obvious that she's truthful, I'll get a few more drinks of liquid courage. Eventually, she'll ask the same question. If I can see that there is something and she just doesn't want to say, I'll say that I have HPV, but there is nothing showing and nothing has shown for 6 or 7 years. Before she has time to think about it, I'll start probing as to what her big secret is. "If I'll tell you about some minimal HPV on our first date, which I could've easily hidden because there is no visible signs, you can trust me to hold your secret too." About half the time, they admit to HPV too. I've even run into a few girls that have had the vaccine, which is awesome. About a quarter of the time, they've had some form of abuse in their lives. The rest is usually chicken shit stuff they've blown way out of proportion.
If it is someone I want to have a relationship with, I tell them my 2 big pieces of info on the second date. One is HPV. The other is that my son is autistic. If they can't deal with either of those, I'd like to know as soon as possible so I don't invest too much time in them.
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No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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mick
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 7,948
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 7 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: automan]
#14689221 - 06/29/11 12:54 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Interesting man. I was diagnosed and treated over a year ago, and everything has cleared up. I pretty much feel like my casual sex days are over, because it seems so difficult to drop that kind of bomb the night/week you meet a girl. That doesnt really matter cause im not much of a casual sex guy anyways.
For relationships i would think it would be easier, cause there is at least some commitment, though I still thought it would be better to mention it a little further into the relationship. so you wouldnt wait until things got sexual to talk about it?
Im definitely not a deceitful person, so I know it would eat me alive to potentially hurt a person who didnt know any better by not telling them. I would want to be told.
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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automan
blasted chipmunk
Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 6,722
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: mick]
#14690821 - 06/29/11 11:27 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
mick said:
so you wouldnt wait until things got sexual to talk about it?
I do. I don't know what age bracket you're in, but at my age there is no 'base' system. Once making out starts, you usually get laid. That's why I tell the one nighters after a few drinks and tell the relationship girls on the second date.
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No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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mick
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 7,948
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 7 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: automan]
#14691657 - 06/29/11 03:07 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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what do you mean by no 'base' system?
Im 29, going on 30
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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automan
blasted chipmunk
Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 6,722
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Re: Found out I have HPV, should I tell my ex? [Re: mick]
#14691734 - 06/29/11 03:22 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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like, there is no 1st base kissing, 2nd base petting, 3rd base oral, home plate sex.
once the making out starts, it's on.
you should know what i'm talking about at your age. i am a handful of years older than you, but we're in the same ballpark (though, we wouldnt have been at the same high school)
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No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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