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Anonymous #1
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 just caught my wife... 
#14636361 - 06/19/11 06:36 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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texting some guy half naked pics of herself and talking about how she wants to fuck him. I am so pissed off right now. We have a son together.
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Anonymous #2
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possibly time to have a talk about an open relationship? or to leave a bitch?
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Anonymous #1
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She had been talking about separating recently. She said she just wanted her space to grow and that she didn't want to be with anyone. Then I find that shit. I'm so pissed. She couldn't have even waited until we figured things out. And all this happens on fathers day.
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 Rewindicus
Silly Goose
 
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 3,476
Last seen: 11 hours, 43 minutes
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totally sucks but your better off finding out now rather than wasting more time its obvious she didnt want to work things out and didnt have the she-balls to tell you how she really felt in the first place.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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Anonymous #1
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 Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14636394 - 06/19/11 06:54 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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she had been telling me she was unhappy, but she said she just didn't want to be with anyone. Then she does this. I was asleep with my son when he woke up and she came in the room to check on us. I changed his diaper then grabbed her phone to see what time it was when I found the conversation. FUCK! I'm so angry and just focusing on not doing anything stupid to make this all worse.
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 3,476
Last seen: 11 hours, 43 minutes
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agreed dont do anything dumb, you dont wanna lose your kid in all this mess. think about him and be the bigger man about the situation. it sucks but thats what being a dad is about.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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Blueflowers
Noobin
Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 174
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14636412 - 06/19/11 07:01 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Confront her with disappointment don't do it with anger she will use it to her advantage. All i can say is you are better off without her. What good is a companion who lies and dosn't share love.
Goodluck my friend , don't let your son get caught up in this 
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Anonymous #1
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14636418 - 06/19/11 07:05 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Thats the truth. I love my son more than anyone and want him to have a good life. This is going to be very difficult for me, but I will prevail. I have been mean to her, calling her many names. I know I shouldn't, but in the moment I was just so angry. I think I can hold it together now. My bad attitude will only make things worse. I am over the initial hurt. Now the question is "Where do we go from here?"
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 3,476
Last seen: 11 hours, 43 minutes
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dude the initial hurt hasnt even begun yet dont fool yourself. just being realistic with this kind of shit you gotta make it through one day at a time sometimes an hour at a time. stay focused keep yourself busy and now is most definitely NOT the time to be doing any kind of substances, alcohol included. focus on your boy and making arrangements for moving on or making up whatever it is you decide to do. hit up your RL friends and family get advice from them and make an informed clear headed logical decision.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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Anonymous #1
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14636439 - 06/19/11 07:19 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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yeah, you're right. I'm fucking furious.
I think I can refrain from the name calling though.
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Bipolarbear
Stranger with candy
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 11 months, 13 days
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Be calm and methodical. Is it an iphone? If so, you can take a screenshot of the conversation and then I would email that to myself. You want to have evidence that she was being unfaithful when you get a divorce. I'm saying when because that is a shitty thing for someone to do but if you choose to stay and work things out then I hope it works out for you. So when you get a divorce you can show that you are the fit parent to have custody of your son. Get your revenge that way.
I mean how fucking down low and dirty can you be doing that shit on Father's Day? Oh well some people care for nothing but themselves.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Bipolarbear] 3
#14636508 - 06/19/11 08:13 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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She already deleted everything. I don't want to take my son away from her. He needs us both in his life just as much as we both need him in ours. As mad as I am at her about everything I can't do that to my son. He deserves to know his mother.
Going for revenge won't help anything. This is just a huge obstacle I must overcome.
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 koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,206
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Quote:
Bipolarbear said:
So when you get a divorce you can show that you are the fit parent to have custody of your son. Get your revenge that way.
In my humble opinion, this is some grade A fucked up advice. I'm glad OP sees things differently. Unless there's a really good reason to suspect that mom's not capable of caring for the child at all (i.e. she's mentally challenged, a homicidal maniac or a meth-head), it's just not a valid option.
@OP: this sucks, but you don't need me to tell you this. The big challenge will be to work out things without the emotional mumbo-jumbo getting in the way too much. Obviously, your wife is in the process of leaving you, and I take it from your posts that there is no chance of reconciliation. At least not in the short term. So the best you can do IMO is to accept this and forget about the anger, revenge and whatnot. Try to vent that in the gym, on the track or while chopping wood. Let each other go, while making sound agreements regarding custody and the division of any material assets. I think it's a good idea to communicate right from the start to her that you don't intend to take your son away from her, and that you don't plan on ruining her financially. With a little bit of luck, that sentiment will be reciprocated by her. That will be the basis for working the administrative side of the matter out in detail. If she makes a claim to something that you'd have expected to naturally belong to you, try to see her side of the story, and explain to her while her claim is contrary to your expectation. Also make clear that you understand where she's coming from, but at the same time be clear about what you want, and why. In the end, some sort of compromise will have to be made on some issues, so think in advance which things (of any kind; valuable object, savings, but also stuff that is not financially valuable, but which either of you may have an emotional attachment to) you could part with, and which ones belong to the core set of items that you really want to take out of this.
Of course, the primary 'thing' to discuss will be your son, and I'm glad that you indicate that you firmly believe that he's her son as much as yours. It seems to me that it is essential to indicate this to your wife right from the start, and stick with it (no matter how emotional you become somewhere down the line). Work out some sort of scheme in which both of you get to be with your son. Of course, this will involve making plans for how the both of you will live after the separation: where the both of you are going to get your income from, where you're going to live, how much time you will have to spend on the kid, etc. So it's likely to be an incremental process, with things becoming more specific as time progresses. During that time, I think it's wise to stick to the initial parameters that you are now to identify as important: what are the fundamental requirements that I have, what are the things that I will not do without after this is all over, and what are the things I'm willing to negotiate or sacrifice?
I wish you lots of wisdom and the best of luck, and I feel for you.
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dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: koraks]
#14637010 - 06/19/11 11:48 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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This is such a dark thread.
Revenge through your kid.. .. so horrible but i would do it.revenge is always bad but this is an acceptable revenge. I would do it if i could.
Now that you know she is walking all over you. sorry....
But now. NEVER EVER show her any positive emotions or feelings. meaning NEVER EVER do ANYTHING for her again. Kick her the fuck out of your house. You look for other women if possible which im sure its not. But do whatever you can to give her the bad side.
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trekie
Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 4,760
Loc: Large city 
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14637052 - 06/19/11 12:01 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Nothing worse then someone using your kid ageist you for petty shit that doesn't matter. Humans are not meant to be monogamous imo but then again you have to both really love each other and trust each other. While having great communication
An open relationship wont fix a bad relationship (it will end it) but its something you can add to a good one.....
You both sound unhappy and you should move on for every ones sake but just remember that a kid needs both parterres
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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Edited by trekie (06/19/11 05:39 PM)
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: trekie]
#14637257 - 06/19/11 12:52 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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You guys are crazy. That would make him a prime fucking example for his kid.
Learn to not be dominated by emotions and learn to be fucking men. Jesus christ people. 
OP, please work something out rationally that will preserve your childs life. By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness. Your life is for your offspring. Just because your wife is losing herself in the stress and responsibility doesn't mean you should stoop to a lower level to get PERSONAL satisfaction through revenge and ultimately harming your childs view on relationships.
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dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT] 1
#14637271 - 06/19/11 12:55 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said:
You guys are crazy. That would make him a prime fucking example for his kid.
Learn to not be dominated by emotions and learn to be fucking men. Jesus christ people.
OP, please work something out rationally that will preserve your childs life. By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness. Your life is for your offspring. Just because your wife is losing herself in the stress and responsibility doesn't mean you should stoop to a lower level to get PERSONAL satisfaction through revenge and ultimately harming your childs view on relationships.
OP dont follow his advice. while he has some good words.. He fails to see how you feel and in the end if you do nothing, you will always remember and grow to hate it.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14637308 - 06/19/11 01:07 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
dshow said:
Quote:
TTT said:
You guys are crazy. That would make him a prime fucking example for his kid.
Learn to not be dominated by emotions and learn to be fucking men. Jesus christ people.
OP, please work something out rationally that will preserve your childs life. By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness. Your life is for your offspring. Just because your wife is losing herself in the stress and responsibility doesn't mean you should stoop to a lower level to get PERSONAL satisfaction through revenge and ultimately harming your childs view on relationships.
OP dont follow his advice. while he has some good words.. He fails to see how you feel and in the end if you do nothing, you will always remember and grow to hate it.
I'm a she. Simple observation could tell you that.
Secondly, your advice is to destroy his child's life to seek revenge because another human fucked up, like we do. So therefore, he should add to the fucking up by further fucking her up, taking away a child's mom and indulging unhealthy emotions in OP. Thats fucking sound advice. None of your words hold any meaning but they show what an emotional driven, short sighted individual you are.
I understand how he feels. He feels incredibly betrayed, hurt, confused, and angry. Does that mean he should act on the negative emotions instead of finding a way to RATIONALLY approach this problem? I also understand how children learn from their parents. I understand, firsthand, how seeing a mother/father relationship get destroyed because one parent put their self-satisfaction over the well-being of their offspring(me) can skew a persons perspective on reality. I know what it does firsthand. It shows in my jaded perspective humnan relationships and my trouble in maintaining them myself. His son will live much longer than him. In this case, future life comes before the parents and thats an agreement OP made when he and his girl decided to keep their child.
Edited by TTT (06/19/11 01:13 PM)
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Solemente
Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,333
Loc:
Last seen: 3 days, 7 hours
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14637332 - 06/19/11 01:14 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah, keeping a woman from her child in this case doesn't really constitute "just" punishment to me.
What she did was wrong, especially since you guys have a kid together, but unless she is just completely unfit to care for a child I don't think keeping him from her is the best course of action to take.
I have no kids, and have never been married so maybe I don't have the best viewpoint for this situation, but that is just my opinion.
Good luck, OP
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the human abstract
malaka the werewolf
Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT] 1
#14637370 - 06/19/11 01:26 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Just because that happened to you doesn't mean its going to happen to everyone.
OP I would start making a 1 year, 5 year and 20 year plan today. Pick up a new hobby for the summer, something great would be motorcycling or even a biking. Get out in the world a little and just ride it off.
It's going to hurt but don't go back to this women, that is my best advice.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14637379 - 06/19/11 01:30 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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I'm not going to try and take her child away as I have already stated. I believe he needs us both in his life. 'Getting revenge' would only make this situation worse than it already is. My sons welfare is top priority and honestly she has been a great mom. This still hurts very badly, but I can only move forward into a brighter tomorrow. Holding grudges will only hold me back.
thanks for the good vibes solemente  I need all I can get right now.
I think I will focus on creative endeavors such as music, writing, and visual arts. I have a lot of emotion to pull from right now.
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dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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the human abstract
malaka the werewolf
Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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If the wife is capable of raising or helping raising the child it needs to be in your plan.
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★★★ ★
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the human abstract
malaka the werewolf
Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14637411 - 06/19/11 01:38 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
dshow said:
That's what I feel myself but we don't know the whole story.
OP needs to make sure he's making the right choice for his child.
If a women does this to her husband that she has a boy with I feel the man should have full custody. That is a lot of weight on the fathers back for having the women even involved with the son.
Most people find out at about 13-15 what the worlds about TTT. I see no fairy tail happening. I only see problems if this kid finds out what his mother did.
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★★★ ★
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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OP first off you're not the first person this has happened to. You know what's right and what's wrong, the biggest thing for now is to center yourself before taking any steps toward or away from the situation. If your wife is confused right now the last thing she needs is you helping her decide. Never let them win, I did that and it sucked ass for me. The way I would handle your situation if it was me (again) would be to calmly ask her to sit down with you so you can brainstorm and find the best solution for the two of you. The ball is in your court, and it's all in how you play it. Tell her that it's fucked what she's doing, and that if she can't wait for you guys to figure your lives out she needs to sign a statement recognizing she's having an extra-marital affair. This would be a good time to suggest counseling and getting an attorney. She's obviously not wanting you at this time, and perhaps she is just after a fling with this guy to "spice up" her life.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. In fact, it's got absolutely nothing to do with you, this is her doing her thing. People make decisions all the time, and they always benefit ourselves. If you were any part of this or her life right now, you'd be involved.
Sorry to be grim and blunt buddy. I truly wish you the best and know what you're going through. Name calling won't do anything but make you feel good for a minute. Remain calm and cool, maybe stay at a buddy's house for a while after you talk to her. If you show no emotion, and discuss it like you would if she had backed the car into the garage or something you will be much better off and will come out of this in a better place.
Happy father's day from me and the shroomery, if you'd like to discuss further feel free to 
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14637649 - 06/19/11 02:42 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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best solution for the 2 of them? lol... she already made her obvious choice. and that is going behind his back and fucking other guys.
He needs to get some anger going and use that anger to fuel a better life.
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14637688 - 06/19/11 02:53 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Yes for the 2 them. He doesn't wanna take their son from her, and she doesn't think marriage and a relationship is what she wants in life. If she doesn't feel capable of being with someone she chose how's she gonna be happy with a child?
Watch Big Lebowski, emulate the Dude. Use the negativity (anger, dismay, sadness) to build something positive. Only two people in your life can make you happy man you and your kid, just be sure you find it first.
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
Edited by fngbronco (06/19/11 02:57 PM)
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 4 hours, 20 seconds
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14637731 - 06/19/11 03:07 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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i do not appreciate sexist stereotypes being given as 'advice', TTT. 'be men', wtf? i swear it seems women are often so quick to compare men to the status quo archetype. do you want us to start pointing out how unlady-like you are or can we just drop stereotypes all together?
i'm sorry OP i don't mean to derail, but that shit bothers me.
i really feel for you dude, what you're going through is one of my biggest worries. how can someone agree to such a commitment only to be so weak in the face of it? not only that, fucking over several lives in the wake of that weakness. i feel for you man... good luck! it sounds like you're going to do well!
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
the human abstract said:
Quote:
dshow said:
That's what I feel myself but we don't know the whole story.
OP needs to make sure he's making the right choice for his child.
If a women does this to her husband that she has a boy with I feel the man should have full custody. That is a lot of weight on the fathers back for having the women even involved with the son.
Most people find out at about 13-15 what the worlds about TTT. I see no fairy tail happening. I only see problems if this kid finds out what his mother did.
Dude, really?
No fucking shit we don't live in a fairy tale. But, when or if he finds out wwhat his mom did, he'll be old enough to form his own opinion and will most likely come to the conclusions that people make mistakes, people can be selfish, but most of all, people can love and forgive. I'm sure he could learn to love his mom because shes his mom when he finds out about it in time. I love my dad because he was my dad but I spent my whole childhood hating him and wondering why did I fuck up my parents life. Now that I'm in my early 20s I understand what was going on and I can understand both my parents.
Don't you remember what its like being a kid?
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14637946 - 06/19/11 04:01 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
dummy said:
i do not appreciate sexist stereotypes being given as 'advice', TTT. 'be men', wtf? i swear it seems women are often so quick to compare men to the status quo archetype. do you want us to start pointing out how unlady-like you are or can we just drop stereotypes all together?
Because its one that everyone understands and some people relate to it more readily than others. Its basic and to the point. Regardless, it holds true. You have to be the mature, strong and rational one for those you love sometimes, even if it hurts you for a number of years.
Our archetypes for masculinity have some validity, but they shouldn't be guidelines in which all men fall under, but thats not related to whats going on.
I swear men are so quick to grab small portions of a reply and twist and misconstrue it in a way to find offense and bitch over when its only a small part of a much greater theme. An expression if you will.
See what I did there--see what you did there? heh
Edited by TTT (06/19/11 04:04 PM)
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Bipolarbear
Stranger with candy
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 11 months, 13 days
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT] 1
#14638524 - 06/19/11 06:14 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Who said anything about taking his child away from her? You guys are such drama queens it's funny to watch threads spiral out of control when you come back to them hours later...
Custody doesn't mean he is lording his child over her but a DIVORCE from his unfaithful wife will mean that they will be living under separate roofs from then on. That means that they have to work out a scenario where the child will be living with one another parent for set times. In my experience this time never never, never, ever is equal. If you wish to be the fool and not look after your own interests and stake a stronger claim for his time then go ahead. I doubt your (ex)wife will make the same mistake.
And another thing, I have seen many amicable divorces and there is always a tug-of-war with the children even in the best of cases. But to each their own. Don't say you weren't warned.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
Bipolarbear said:
Who said anything about taking his child away from her? You guys are such drama queens it's funny to watch threads spiral out of control when you come back to them hours later...
Custody doesn't mean he is lording his child over her but a DIVORCE from his unfaithful wife will mean that they will be living under separate roofs from then on. That means that they have to work out a scenario where the child will be living with one another parent for set times. In my experience this time never never, never, ever is equal. If you wish to be the fool and not look after your own interests and stake a stronger claim for his time then go ahead. I doubt your (ex)wife will make the same mistake.
And another thing, I have seen many amicable divorces and there is always a tug-of-war with the children even in the best of cases. But to each their own. Don't say you weren't warned.
Um, a few other posters did. Hence my reply to them. The OP is being wise, IMO. Hes pacing his actions.
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 4 hours, 20 seconds
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639316 - 06/19/11 09:18 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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i see you've justified your sexism. thats totally lady like.
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,834
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14639385 - 06/19/11 09:39 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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wait... she actually told you she wasnt happy and nothing was done on your part to fix this at that stage?
well hind sight and all...
start putting in effort for the kids sake maybe something good will come of it.
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the human abstract
malaka the werewolf
Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14639437 - 06/19/11 09:53 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
dummy said:
i see you've justified your sexism. thats totally lady like.
no one cares.. lets help this dude out
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TheCreampie
Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 657
Loc: Corner of crack and 8-bal...
Last seen: 24 days, 23 hours
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This some Maury shit right here dawg.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14639797 - 06/19/11 11:12 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said:...By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness...
you obviously are not a parent. being a father has brought more joy into my life then anything else by far.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
dummy said:
i see you've justified your sexism. thats totally lady like.
Quote:
closed veil said:
Quote:
TTT said:...By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness...
you obviously are not a parent. being a father has brought more joy into my life then anything else by far.
I meant as in you put your childs well-being before your own.
I would never be a parent, fuck that shit.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639841 - 06/19/11 11:21 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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Anonymous #3
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639854 - 06/19/11 11:23 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Im a dead beat dad so its like not having a kid 
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 4 hours, 20 seconds
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639856 - 06/19/11 11:23 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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its too bad she couldn't be upfront with you. i went through something similar. shit went south and it was clear. instead of being honest with me she said she needed time alone. what she meant was she needed to be alone with this one dude in particular she had her eye on. it hurt because i was always so honest. eh. stay strong man. you sound like a good dad so i'm rooting for you!
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14639864 - 06/19/11 11:25 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,834
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Quote:
closed veil said:
it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
one could also think that by partaking in drugs and or drug activity while having a child is crazy and insulting. but im not here to argue that..
im here to help op in saying that, if she isnt sleeping around maybe working it out and putting in some "honeymoon" stage work wouldnt be such a bad thing in the long run
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
closed veil said:
it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
You're doing precisely what I mentioned in another post. Picking one thing out of the greater whole of what I said that alone can be interpreted as meaning anything you want it to because its a broad, ambiguous statement and making it seem like I'm the bad guy.
I MEANT that he puts his kid before himself. He thinks of his kids happiness before his own personal happiness. That is the ultimate sacrifice dedicated parents all throughout the animal kingdom make. I never said having a child doesn't flood you with feel good bonding emotions and make you happy. Thats not relevant to this specific issue and plausible ways of handling it.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639976 - 06/19/11 11:50 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said:
it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
Quote:
rackem said:
one could also think that by partaking in drugs and or drug activity while having a child is crazy and insulting. but im not here to argue that..
u are assuming i either partake in drugs or have my child. i'm taking a brake from drugs and i'm fighting for custody of my daughter. i would never do drugs around my child.
Quote:
TTT said:
You're doing precisely what I mentioned in another post. Picking one thing out of the greater whole of what I said that alone can be interpreted as meaning anything you want it to because its a broad, ambiguous statement and making it seem like I'm the bad guy.
I MEANT that he puts his kid before himself. He thinks of his kids happiness before his own personal happiness. That is the ultimate sacrifice dedicated parents all throughout the animal kingdom make. I never said having a child doesn't flood you with feel good bonding emotions and make you happy. Thats not relevant to this specific issue and plausible ways of handling it.
i read your whole post and i don't disagree with you nor an i trying to make you sound like a "bad guy" i'm just saying that one sentence that i pulled out is kind of insulting and crazy for a someone who is not a parent to say.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,834
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i didnt make the assumption of anything (that would mean that i gave a shit about the argument)...
just throwin it out there. 
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Altered States
Synesthesia seeker
Registered: 04/18/10
Posts: 336
Loc: USA
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My advice is to get a lawyer ASAP and start the whole custody/visitation proceedings rolling, the sooner the better!! If shes the kind of person that has that kind of evil in her there's know telling what shes liable to do next. Don't set yourself up to be screwed out of being a father to your son. I've just went threw that scene with my ex. The sooner you get some legal guidelines and stability set up the better.That piece of mind will save you a world of grief. Good luck
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  SUPPORT M.A.P.S. "MULTIDISCIPLINARY ASSOCATION FOR PSYCHEDELIC STUDIES"
DRUMMING ON THE EDGE OF MADNESS!!
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Anonymous #4
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14640784 - 06/20/11 02:44 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said:
Quote:
TTT said:
You're doing precisely what I mentioned in another post. Picking one thing out of the greater whole of what I said that alone can be interpreted as meaning anything you want it to because its a broad, ambiguous statement and making it seem like I'm the bad guy.
I MEANT that he puts his kid before himself. He thinks of his kids happiness before his own personal happiness. That is the ultimate sacrifice dedicated parents all throughout the animal kingdom make. I never said having a child doesn't flood you with feel good bonding emotions and make you happy. Thats not relevant to this specific issue and plausible ways of handling it.
i read your whole post and i don't disagree with you nor an i trying to make you sound like a "bad guy" i'm just saying that one sentence that i pulled out is kind of insulting and crazy for a someone who is not a parent to say.
Agreed.
And I'm not even a parent myself.
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Anonymous #1
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I am so frustrated right now. She blames me like this is all my fault. She claims she told me she didn't want to be with me, that I wanted this to happen.. ? WTF! I knew she wanted her space, but god damn why would I want her to fuck around with someone else? She acts like I wanted this to happen just so I could have a 'reason' to be mad. That is complete bullshit! All I ever wanted was for our family to be happy together.
She wants me to let her take our son and the vehicle that I am paying for to her parents that live about 2 hours away. Why should I let her take our son and vehicle when I'm the one who works to pay for shit!?
Am I being selfish because I don't exactly feel like helping her out right now? Maybe if she hadn't done that I wouldn't mind being more helpful, but shit..
"you've got to go through hell before you get to heaven."
I'm certainly on the long hard road out of hell right now.
Is it wrong that I don't think she deserves shit considering I have worked so that she could stay at home and watch our child grow? Like I said, if she hadn't done all this and we just separated I would be more willing to help her out. But after what she did I don't feel like helping her do shit.
SO ANGRY!
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 3,476
Last seen: 11 hours, 43 minutes
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no i agree you shouldnt hand over the kid and the car. like people earlier have said get in contact with a lawyer and tell her to get her own ride to her parents. her turning this around on you like its your fault is just a form of manipulation and blame trading.
i dont know how things are where you live but where im from unless the mom is a crackhead DCF usually gives temporary custody to the mom while court shit is going down it can be a pain in the ass of a process and lengthy and costly but at least once its all said and done you wont have to deal with her hanging visitation with the kid for money over your head. a good friend of mine is currently in that mess and it SUCKS.
her continuance to be a bitch is further fuel that theres no reconciliation and you can hopefully see that but through it all you have to keep record of EVERYTHING get her to put anything you guys agree on now in writing you will need it in court and it will show your the mature and responsible one in the long run and thats what your going to need most.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 3,476
Last seen: 11 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14641331 - 06/20/11 06:35 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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and dont give her money for stuff for the kid if she needs diapers buy diapers same for formula and clothes an all that shit and again get it all in writing not only that she said the kid needed things but that also you got those things for the kid save all receipts and records.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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DarkMatterOfFact
ZealtheDealforthePill
Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 1,558
Loc: South Cali
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14641371 - 06/20/11 07:09 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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just out of curiousity how old are you and your wife? because the hole situation seems immature.
now shes trying to manipulate after all thats happened? that sucks. sounds like a really unhealthy relationship if shes a big control freak. sucks you have a kid you care about involved too.
ide try to fix the situation with honesty after a few days. to let things sink in though. if it was my wife and if it were me.
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Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.
Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.
Edited by DarkMatterOfFact (06/20/11 07:10 AM)
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14641815 - 06/20/11 10:41 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rewindicus said:
and dont give her money for stuff for the kid if she needs diapers buy diapers same for formula and clothes an all that shit and again get it all in writing not only that she said the kid needed things but that also you got those things for the kid save all receipts and records.
:this:
Keep receipts, paychecks, mortgage/rent receipts, checks, car payments, all of that. It's such a dirty painful thing but you need all you can get. To go along with what TTT said and got flamed for, YOU ARE MALE. Court systems are gonna eat you alive and shit you out. TTT was in no way being sexist, sadly this is how america works (assuming you are in the US) and worse than that California will give a crackhead mom custody, welfare and child support. Don't give her the car, if she wants to go to her parents they can come pick her up, if she has that guy come pick her up, so be it, just be sure to get pictures. If she wants to take the boy, tell her you would rather he stay there with you. She will use grandma and grandpa's house to lure him, if she does tell her that she's being low and manipulative and tell her you will bring him by later.
You're handling this well my friend, just don't let your emotions guide you the dark side of the force is powerful but evil!
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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greys
Mushroom Dork
Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 37,370
Loc: nunya
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
She had been talking about separating recently. She said she just wanted her space to grow and that she didn't want to be with anyone. Then I find that shit. I'm so pissed. She couldn't have even waited until we figured things out. And all this happens on fathers day.
dont take it personal....some people (especially women) cannot be alone. some are almost hardwired to have someone already there before they end a relationship. Part of it is probably insecurity etc.
Dont take her back though...they tend to not respect you anymore and if they have cheated once...they WILL cheat again guaranteed.
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JesusGoneRogue
Have a little face.
Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 7,616
Loc: my happy place
Last seen: 18 days, 22 hours
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this thread is full of deceit, sadness, and anger.
so spread the love! 
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Bipolarbear
Stranger with candy
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 11 months, 13 days
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I stand by my original advice. Have you not realized yet that you're being setup to lose this divorce? But by all means, don't listen when a handful of us say to lawyer up and collect evidence to prove you're the faithful and good parent in all this. She already deleted the evidence proving her infidelity and now she is blaming you for her adulterous ways. Smarten up boy. You're being taken for a ride.
Apologies if that sounds rude, I really mean that. You do however need to fully appreciate the sticky situation you're in and just how bad these things can get. Indemnify yourself against any possible recriminations.
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Anonymous #5
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You are approaching the union of two people like its a business transaction. Just sayin.
The court doesnt have to permit phone logs as evidence in a divorce case anyway, if they dont feel like it. So stop acting like it makes a big difference.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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i'm gonna have to agree with Bipolarbear,.women have been favored in family court for so long, they have begun to take advantage of it, even in some cases, abuse it. courts do not like being used in this manor. get a good lawyer, start collecting evidence. look over old CC bills looks for anything out of the norm, hotels, restaurants, ect. emails are great evidence.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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Anonymous #5
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You act like theres a fortune at stake. I'm pretty sure as long as he gets decent visitation with the son...thats all that matters.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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what makes you think he's get that w/o a good lawyer? been almost a year since i've seen my daughter. had one court date, still haven't got a ruling from the judge.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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Anonymous #5
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I was assuming he wasn't a degenerate like you.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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oohhhhh OTD poster in the house?! why don't you un-anon yourself if your gonna be insulting users you pussy!
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Thing is, marriages are like business partnerships. Granted it's not a financial exchange, TS a business through and through. With what closed veil brings up, I know a lot of people who have 50% visitation (which consists of like 2 weekends a month so it doesn't add up) that don't even get their time. Then you have to go back to court and fight it and nothing changes. Men get the shaft. Get a lawyer and get true legal advice, cuz the law is what decides.
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14645614 - 06/21/11 12:02 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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unfortunately, in family court, a judge decides what is best for the children. all they have to go on is evidence, testimony and the laws of that state.
OP-get a lawyer, like yesterday!
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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greys
Mushroom Dork
Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 37,370
Loc: nunya
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Why worry about that which is mostly out of your control (according to you)?
Do whats required: Pay the child support, Honor your visitation schedule, and in general do what you're supposed to do.
If she wants to use the kids as a device to get back at you through the court system, so be it, her loss and the kids loss.
If you feel that strongly about winning, set up a fake meth lab in her garage and drop a dime on her. There is mans law, gods law, and your law. Which is most important to you?
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: greys]
#14645989 - 06/21/11 01:05 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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well thanks for the advice, but it mostly doesn't apply to me. the court hasn't made a ruling, so i have no visitation and no child support. her actions, like with-holding our child from me, may be her down fall, and i may get custody. she lives way to far away to plant any such meth lab, and my belief in karma would keep me from doing any such thing anyways. i have faith that God will make things right.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
Edited by closed veil (06/21/11 01:17 PM)
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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If she's near Idaho just say the magic words  joking. I really hope it works out the way it should for you CV. There's some fuckered up people in this world that seem to have it easy, though to them they're suffering, and there's good people who work legitimately and are actually good hearted people who get screwed daily. Abusive pedos with kids, and a provider who gets no visitation.
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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Anonymous #6
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14647321 - 06/21/11 10:34 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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You mentioned the "I'm not happy in this relationship. I don't want to be with you." part, but you left out you saying "you can date other guys or whatever, just don't bring them home"
this whole argument is pretty much over anyway. I'm just saying.
You KNOW that I'm not the kind of person that would use your son against you, or try and take you for all you have or any of that stupid bullshit. I don't give a fuck about possessions, never have. Sure, I wanted to USE the car but just because it would be a HUGE HELP in getting things in order so that our son has a good situation to be in while he's living with me. Especially because you do still have your own truck. So.
Taking any of this advice would probably be the worst thing you could do because if you tried to put our son in this situation where he's like a possession that's being fought over, I would probably just hate the shit out of you.
I hate the idea of 'no, you can't see him. today is MY day' cuz that's fucking retarded. If he wants to see you, he will get to see you. You will always be his daddy. I'll probably even invite you to go with us when I plan to take him places just because I think he would like for you to be there. I can still be totally cool with you and appreciative that you're such an awesome dad. He needs you in his life just as much as he needs me.
It does bother me that you act like you're the one that's done all the work in our relationship. Even tho for the whole first year of his life, I was the one that fed him every meal and put him to sleep every nap time and bed time, woke up in the middle of the night with him while you were snoring. My job is 24/7. I never got a break.
Sorry that things were kinda shaky before I found out I was pregnant. But I don't regret sticking around just so that you could be a part of our son's life from the beginning of it.
I just haven't been happy for a really long time and you already know that. I seriously told you every day for weeks prior to my brief moment of retardation that I didn't want to be with you anymore and that I wanted to find a way to compromise how we would handle separating so that our son wasn't treated like an object that was the center of our struggle. You wouldn't listen to me and just kept telling me that I can't take him from you. I guess I just started to feel like you were just trying to use him to keep me stuck in a situation that I had expressed repeatedly I was unhappy in, so I freaked out. I've already apologized IRL but here is your virtual apology also.
At first, I did just want a temporary separation to clear my head and figure out what it is I really want out of life but the longer I felt like you weren't listening to me the more I just started to not like you and didn't want to be with you at all any more.
So, sorry everything has escalated to this point. And sorry I couldn't just live my life pretending to be happy. I'm not going to turn into my mom.
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Well son of a bitch! If my ex fucking told me that I'd do whatever to work through the differences.
Anon#1's wife: it's easy to be spiteful towards the one you feel has done you wrong, and its understandable where you're at. You honestly aren't in the spot to find someone to make you happy tho. You need to make you happy, and honestly as much as dating or finding someone else seems like te right thing, It's not. For your sake, a month away from everything (including your son as hard as it may be), will really help you find what it is you're looking for. Being a spouse, a parent, or even a significant other is a full time job. It's more stressful than work, and is everywhere with no escape. You sound like you feel neglected and left out so you're trying to find someone to fill your emotional void. You guys may even try counseling, bu please please if you do, and it doesn't work, FIND ANOTHER COUNSELOR!!! Divorce is such an easy solution but it really is the most cowardly way out (with certain exceptions).
Best of luck to the both of you!
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14647894 - 06/21/11 01:19 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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i know so many users in the market, i could have something illegal mailed to her, don't think i haven't thought of it. but i'll just leave well enough alone.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Quote:
closed veil said:
i know so many users in the market, i could have something illegal mailed to her, don't think i haven't thought of it. but i'll just leave well enough alone.
I think guil would set in and bug ya. Shit has a way of working itself out, and though it may not be what you would've chose, you'll find happiness in it.
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,206
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14648001 - 06/21/11 01:41 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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It's so good to see the other side of one of these stories as well for a change. Anon#6, thanks for posting this. Even if it turns out to be a fake. It would still show how complicated this shit is.
Sadly, our family is wound up in a similar event, although the couple involved is >15 years down the line from where OP and his wife are now, and the process of separation is also in a much more advanced stage. I can honestly say that if you have never witnessed this from up-close as an adult, you can't judge.
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meams
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 17,446
Loc: In a Tree
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I seriously told you every day for weeks prior to my brief moment of retardation
Was the 'brief moment of retardation' the moment where you caught interest in the man you're sexting, or the moment where you TOOK the pics themselves, or the moment where you SENT the pics? or was it the monent where you deleted the evidence?
You just sound shady. If you're unhappy with someone, leave them. You're fucking with our OP's emotions, and its shitty.
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Mrbobster
Stranger
Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 89
Loc: H-town
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
texting some guy half naked pics of herself and talking about how she wants to fuck him. I am so pissed off right now. We have a son together.
Yeah Man she is no Good.>! A Great Teacher of mines once told me, Nobody gets caught the First time..! and if you think about it its true... if you caught her this must be her 5th 6th or God knows how many times.............
Plus CHicks Dig single Fathers....
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---------No me quite la rason. Si te doy el motivo !!!-------------
DILE A TU MARIDO QUE ME SUELTE
 YO NO ME DEJO MARICONASO, VEN ACA CUAL E MIEDO?
 PLOMO PLOMO, PLO PLO, PLOMO PLOMO, 5 estrella de que??
PLOMO PLOMO te voy a dar ati Palomo..!!!
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DarkMatterOfFact
ZealtheDealforthePill
Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 1,558
Loc: South Cali
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Mrbobster]
#14649103 - 06/21/11 05:26 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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this hole thread is why kids should not have kids.
this world is annoying as fuck with this type of lifestyle of lets have a kid but we dont even love each other bullshit.
its no wonder r society is so devolved really. like that 16 and pregnant show on mtv. 
--------------------
Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.
Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.
Edited by DarkMatterOfFact (06/21/11 05:45 PM)
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Anonymous #4
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*our
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DarkMatterOfFact
ZealtheDealforthePill
Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 1,558
Loc: South Cali
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hey ithink. 
still a grammar nazi i see.
--------------------
Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.
Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.
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Anonymous #7
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Anon 1, how old are the both of you?
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Quote:
DarkMatterOfFact said:
this hole thread is why kids should not have kids.
this world is annoying as fuck with this type of lifestyle of lets have a kid but we dont even love each other bullshit.
its no wonder r society is so devolved really. like that 16 and pregnant show on mtv.
well i was no kid when i had mine.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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greys
Mushroom Dork
Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 37,370
Loc: nunya
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Quote:
DarkMatterOfFact said:
this hole thread is why kids should not have kids.
this world is annoying as fuck with this type of lifestyle of lets have a kid but we dont even love each other bullshit.
its no wonder r society is so devolved really. like that 16 and pregnant show on mtv.
I'm fairly certain this generation didnt invent having children out of wedlock,unprepared, or too young. Whats your point?
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Anonymous #4
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: greys]
#14651027 - 06/21/11 11:38 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Well, of course this generation didn't invent it. The media has however made it more popular, and the rise of teenage pregnancy has been increasing over the years.
I'm pretty sure that's his point.
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Anonymous #7
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There should be tests and minimum qualifications before a couple is allowed to reproduce. IMO
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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well, in MN you can't get a vasectomy unless you are 27 or have 4 children. we're fascist about ppl not having kids, why not have fascist laws regulating reproduction?
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
There should be tests and minimum qualifications before a couple is allowed to reproduce. IMO
Tests?
Like that's ever going to happen anyway...
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meams
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 17,446
Loc: In a Tree
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
There should be tests and minimum qualifications before a couple is allowed to reproduce. IMO
Tests?
Like that's ever going to happen anyway...
I bet thats what people in the 1700s used to say about the prospect of the internet, and being able to video-conference (words they wouldn't even understand) with someone who ison the other side of the world, with near-zero delay, for free.
so :holdyourtongue:
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greys
Mushroom Dork
Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 37,370
Loc: nunya
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Quote:
closed veil said:
well, in MN you can't get a vasectomy unless you are 27 or have 4 children.
as if you cant leave Minnesota. You have to start thinking outside the box man. srsly.
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DarkMatterOfFact
ZealtheDealforthePill
Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 1,558
Loc: South Cali
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: meams]
#14651558 - 06/22/11 01:12 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
meams said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
There should be tests and minimum qualifications before a couple is allowed to reproduce. IMO
Tests?
Like that's ever going to happen anyway...
I bet thats what people in the 1700s used to say about the prospect of the internet, and being able to video-conference (words they wouldn't even understand) with someone who ison the other side of the world, with near-zero delay, for free.
so :holdyourtongue:
they had pc's in the 1700s?
my internet access aint free and my pc wasnt either 
china has regulations on parenting already though, not saying thats a good approach.
who knows what is? maybe birth control, maybe education or maybe both.
i have also had buddies who've done the same thing and it seems situations like aforementioned
are damn common and could be avoided. its really just selfishness IMO , raising a kid while separated.
--------------------
Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.
Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: greys]
#14651662 - 06/22/11 01:39 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
greysRDbest said:
Quote:
closed veil said:
well, in MN you can't get a vasectomy unless you are 27 or have 4 children.
as if you cant leave Minnesota. You have to start thinking outside the box man. srsly.
well i'm over 27 so it doesn't matter to me, i just think the very idea of the law is crazy.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 4 hours, 20 seconds
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i find reproduction regulation laws completely crazy. let nature sort that shit out!
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14651886 - 06/22/11 02:34 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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aren't you the same user that was proud of being a dead-beat dad?
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 4 hours, 20 seconds
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no. no kids. was that some sort of attack?
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14652139 - 06/22/11 04:01 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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no. some user posted something about being a dead-beat dad like he was proud of it. thought it was you. my mistake.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Testing for babies is not only a violation of our rights, but an impingement on religious views. Honestly there's some trash out there, working on baby number 6, only the 2nd meth baby, but the 3rd to be exposed to her HIV, all in an attempt to get a large welfare check. Believe me if we could regulate it'd be great, but that's as fascist as saying what closed veil mention. I know of couples (same sex) that would make better parents than 30-50% of parents, possibly more, but aren't allowed, or harassed for adopting. It's like breeding dogs. Those puppy mills are flooding the market when there's perfectly good ones in foster care, shit some even potty trained lol. Yes I did compare us humans to dogs, overpopulation takes many shapes an forms, as does neglect amd abuse.
Back on topic tho, if that anonymous post was in fact homeboy's wife, they have bigger things to worry about than being dead beats or immature. I know it sounds selfish, but if they can't tale care of themselves and ensure their well being, they're only harming their child.
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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Anonymous #6
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco] 1
#14653408 - 06/22/11 12:58 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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I see absolutely nothing immature or unintelligent about not wanting to raise a child in a situation where his mother is unhappy and just sticking around so he can have 'a picture perfect family'
I think that there are many different ways to raise a child. The biological mom and dad shouldn't feel like they have to stay together just for the kid. Especially if one of them isn't happy. I've tried to express this multiple times. What's been said here is really only the tail end of the story, everything building up to that point wasn't mentioned at all in the OP.
I've been trying to, for the past year, explain that I'm not happy in this relationship and that I love him as the father of my child but that's about it. Our relationship has been weird from the beginning.
The kids shouldn't have kids thing is true, sure. But there are tons of people who love each other and are in relationships for a long time that are still kids having kids and the way that they raise their children is still determined by what is the social norm. Sit them in front of tv all day, take them to church, dictate to them what they can and can not do instead of helping them learn how to make decisions, etc.
If you think that anything that I have done or will continue to do is just because I am an unintelligent and immature person, then perhaps you should consider that you don't know all of the details of the situation that you are choosing to judge.
I have been in constant inner struggle over what is the right thing to do for a long time now. At some point, yes, that stress caused me to make some bad decisions. If you've never made a single bad decision in your life then by all means, continue to play the judge. No matter how many ways I have said 'I am unhappy here.' it has fallen on deaf ears.
First it was I want to move, there is so much pressure here from your family that I feel like I can't be myself and it is getting to me. Then, that you're pessimistic about everything and I can't be around this any more because it is causing me severe mental anguish. Over and over again I have run myself in circles because of this. No matter what I say, it changes nothing. I did something drastic, crazy things started to happen, but now some changes are actually being made.
I see no reason that we can't both continue to be civil toward one another in spite of all that has been said and done between us. I just want what I have always wanted. For us to both find a way that we can both be happy.
I think there's too much emphasis being placed on that we're losing something by splitting up. Sure, we are losing the opportunity to live with our son every single day. But the environment that he's in has been one of depression for a long time now. What do we have to gain? Him living with us separately and being able to see both of us happy... Giving him an opportunity to have not only 2 people who love him, but possibly 4...
I really don't see how more people loving my child is a bad thing.
Edited by Anonymous (06/22/11 03:09 PM)
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,206
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I see absolutely nothing immature or unintelligent about wanting to raise a child in a situation where his mother is unhappy and just sticking around so he can have 'a picture perfect family'
I can tell you from first-hand experience that It. Does. Not. Work. The family might be picture perfect in some respects and at some times, but it will in reality be a strained, perpetual conflict.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: koraks]
#14653552 - 06/22/11 01:28 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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--------------------
sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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Anonymous #8
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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My mom and dad stuck it out 23 years. My mom didn't want to be married to my dad and it was obvious throughout my childhood. They both still did everything right for us kids. Yeah it screwed them up, but they stuck through it til we were out. It sucks yeah and if there was another option for them they'd have done it. They showed us kids that no matter how hard shit gets you don't give up.
Realistically #6 it was very immature and wrong and adulterous IMO that you'd not wait until you filed a divorce and completed it. You're married! I know other people wouldn't agree and would jump ship before letting the passengers off. People think of marriage as "the right thing to do" but don't realize that it's something more than that, or they won't admit it. They're too quick to go in with their loves even while they've got a contract with someone else. If someone in the NFL went to play for a different team before their contract expired they'd be fined pretty big I'm sure. Suck it up, do the right thing, and wait for shit to be completed before you go around starting something new. It's called respect (and that doesn't only apply to you #6 it applies to everyone).
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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Anonymous #6
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: koraks]
#14653973 - 06/22/11 02:51 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I see absolutely nothing immature or unintelligent about wanting to raise a child in a situation where his mother is unhappy and just sticking around so he can have 'a picture perfect family'
I can tell you from first-hand experience that It. Does. Not. Work. The family might be picture perfect in some respects and at some times, but it will in reality be a strained, perpetual conflict.
I left out the word 'not' before wanting. sorry. I tried to go back and edit it but the connection was going really slow. It's just now working again and you already quoted it before I could edit
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Anonymous #6
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14653984 - 06/22/11 02:54 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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also, I'm not even talking to that guy any more. I told him to quit talking to me.
He's just someone I've known since I was a kid and has been my friend through a lot of shit when a lot of other people had quit talking to me or just abandoned me as a friend.
But anyway, just to clear all of that up. Apologies were made all around and we are no longer speaking.
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Anonymous #7
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14655204 - 06/22/11 06:41 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
fngbronco said:
Testing for babies is not only a violation of our rights, but an impingement on religious views. Honestly there's some trash out there, working on baby number 6, only the 2nd meth baby, but the 3rd to be exposed to her HIV, all in an attempt to get a large welfare check. Believe me if we could regulate it'd be great, but that's as fascist as saying what closed veil mention. I know of couples (same sex) that would make better parents than 30-50% of parents, possibly more, but aren't allowed, or harassed for adopting. It's like breeding dogs. Those puppy mills are flooding the market when there's perfectly good ones in foster care, shit some even potty trained lol. Yes I did compare us humans to dogs, overpopulation takes many shapes an forms, as does neglect amd abuse.
Back on topic tho, if that anonymous post was in fact homeboy's wife, they have bigger things to worry about than being dead beats or immature. I know it sounds selfish, but if they can't tale care of themselves and ensure their well being, they're only harming their child.
People still believe in religion these days?
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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I feel when insulting/complementing I should include all groups equally. That way nobody feels left out, except midgets....gross 
--------------------
I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?
Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 24,839
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14658043 - 06/23/11 07:41 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
fngbronco said:
I feel when insulting/complementing I should include all groups equally. That way nobody feels left out, except midgets....gross
That's like my hate philosophy.
I hate everyone equally, just some more equally than others.
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“In politics, few talents are as richly rewarded as the ability to convince parasites that they are victims. Welfare states on both sides of the Atlantic have discovered that largesse to losers does not reduce their hostility to society, but only increases it. Far from producing gratitude, generosity is seen as an admission of guilt, and the reparations as inadequate compensation for injustices – leading to worsening behavior by the recipients.
Thomas Sowell
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Darwin23
INFJ
Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 2,191
Loc: United States
Last seen: 11 minutes, 9 seconds
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Fuck her. No sense in staying with her. I'd also get a DNA test for your son. There's an instinctual remnant that is still present in a lot of women. Some women choose lower testosterone males as long term partners, while fucking high-testosterone males when they ovulate. High testosterone males have higher success when breeding, but tend to have more mates meaning if the woman stays with him as a long term partner, she will have to share his resources.
I know this boils humanity down to numbers, but we really are nothing more than extended chemical reactions.
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Anonymous #8
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Darwin23]
#14663022 - 06/24/11 01:32 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Darwin23 said:
I know this boils humanity down to numbers, but we really are nothing more than extended chemical reactions.
Don't apologize for it. Your advice is sound and it's true.
Society and the media try to act like we're not animals with pre-programmed urges and drives to do bad things, or that there's NO difference between men and women and it's all just culturally learned.
It's all horseshit. We're just chimps that can do fucking algebra.
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ReefaCheefa
Gimme Reefer
Registered: 08/24/08
Posts: 1,634
Loc: Florida
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Updates? So many of these threads happen and the OP disappears...always makes me nervous
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JesusGoneRogue
Have a little face.
Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 7,616
Loc: my happy place
Last seen: 18 days, 22 hours
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you didnt hear man? he offed himself 
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 4 hours, 20 seconds
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wtf?
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14680271 - 06/27/11 04:10 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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I'm still alive. We have a lot to figure out.
Neither of us want to take our child away from the other.
Things have gotten pretty heated at some points, but essentially we can be civil.
We both deserve to be happy, and above all our son deserves the best life we can give him.
That's about as much of an update as I can give.
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withoutawire
Bunny Lover
Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 10,915
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 1 day, 1 hour
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She could be going through the mid 30's-end 40's sexual mid life crisis many woman go through when they are not definite about what they want they get married. So, if she does change her mind in the future and wants you back and everything realize she could very well mean it, and the fact that she married you in first place for a while shows you that she is not some evil bitch. If you do work it out, she goes through her phase, and you do get back together then cheating AGAIN means it is not the exploration/coming to understand life process. Then she is cheater and should be dumped immediately. No exceptions. Don't even begin to rationalize anything past that. She doesn't understand or appreciate value of the relationship at this piont, and is not sincere or truthful to herself.
The most important thing you can do now is make sure you two CANNOT let your difference effect your child. This is way more important than anything either of you could have done, or have done, or want to do. Unless she is endangering your child then you MUST do everything you can to ensure child's mental well being with civility. This includes learning to shut the fuck up when she's ignorant and addressing it later.
I hope it works out for you.
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