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 dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,965
Last seen: 1 day, 1 hour
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 Re: just caught my wife...  [Re: TTT]
#14639856 - 06/19/11 11:23 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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its too bad she couldn't be upfront with you. i went through something similar. shit went south and it was clear. instead of being honest with me she said she needed time alone. what she meant was she needed to be alone with this one dude in particular she had her eye on. it hurt because i was always so honest. eh. stay strong man. you sound like a good dad so i'm rooting for you!
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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 closed veil
person, place or thing
 
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14639864 - 06/19/11 11:25 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,827
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Quote:
closed veil said:
it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
one could also think that by partaking in drugs and or drug activity while having a child is crazy and insulting. but im not here to argue that..
im here to help op in saying that, if she isnt sleeping around maybe working it out and putting in some "honeymoon" stage work wouldnt be such a bad thing in the long run
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
closed veil said:
it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
You're doing precisely what I mentioned in another post. Picking one thing out of the greater whole of what I said that alone can be interpreted as meaning anything you want it to because its a broad, ambiguous statement and making it seem like I'm the bad guy.
I MEANT that he puts his kid before himself. He thinks of his kids happiness before his own personal happiness. That is the ultimate sacrifice dedicated parents all throughout the animal kingdom make. I never said having a child doesn't flood you with feel good bonding emotions and make you happy. Thats not relevant to this specific issue and plausible ways of handling it.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639976 - 06/19/11 11:50 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said:
it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
Quote:
rackem said:
one could also think that by partaking in drugs and or drug activity while having a child is crazy and insulting. but im not here to argue that..
u are assuming i either partake in drugs or have my child. i'm taking a brake from drugs and i'm fighting for custody of my daughter. i would never do drugs around my child.
Quote:
TTT said:
You're doing precisely what I mentioned in another post. Picking one thing out of the greater whole of what I said that alone can be interpreted as meaning anything you want it to because its a broad, ambiguous statement and making it seem like I'm the bad guy.
I MEANT that he puts his kid before himself. He thinks of his kids happiness before his own personal happiness. That is the ultimate sacrifice dedicated parents all throughout the animal kingdom make. I never said having a child doesn't flood you with feel good bonding emotions and make you happy. Thats not relevant to this specific issue and plausible ways of handling it.
i read your whole post and i don't disagree with you nor an i trying to make you sound like a "bad guy" i'm just saying that one sentence that i pulled out is kind of insulting and crazy for a someone who is not a parent to say.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,827
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i didnt make the assumption of anything (that would mean that i gave a shit about the argument)...
just throwin it out there. 
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Altered States
Synesthesia seeker
Registered: 04/18/10
Posts: 336
Loc: USA
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My advice is to get a lawyer ASAP and start the whole custody/visitation proceedings rolling, the sooner the better!! If shes the kind of person that has that kind of evil in her there's know telling what shes liable to do next. Don't set yourself up to be screwed out of being a father to your son. I've just went threw that scene with my ex. The sooner you get some legal guidelines and stability set up the better.That piece of mind will save you a world of grief. Good luck 
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  SUPPORT M.A.P.S. "MULTIDISCIPLINARY ASSOCATION FOR PSYCHEDELIC STUDIES"
DRUMMING ON THE EDGE OF MADNESS!!
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Anonymous #4
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14640784 - 06/20/11 02:44 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said:
Quote:
TTT said:
You're doing precisely what I mentioned in another post. Picking one thing out of the greater whole of what I said that alone can be interpreted as meaning anything you want it to because its a broad, ambiguous statement and making it seem like I'm the bad guy.
I MEANT that he puts his kid before himself. He thinks of his kids happiness before his own personal happiness. That is the ultimate sacrifice dedicated parents all throughout the animal kingdom make. I never said having a child doesn't flood you with feel good bonding emotions and make you happy. Thats not relevant to this specific issue and plausible ways of handling it.
i read your whole post and i don't disagree with you nor an i trying to make you sound like a "bad guy" i'm just saying that one sentence that i pulled out is kind of insulting and crazy for a someone who is not a parent to say.
Agreed.
And I'm not even a parent myself.
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Anonymous #1
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I am so frustrated right now. She blames me like this is all my fault. She claims she told me she didn't want to be with me, that I wanted this to happen.. ? WTF! I knew she wanted her space, but god damn why would I want her to fuck around with someone else? She acts like I wanted this to happen just so I could have a 'reason' to be mad. That is complete bullshit! All I ever wanted was for our family to be happy together.
She wants me to let her take our son and the vehicle that I am paying for to her parents that live about 2 hours away. Why should I let her take our son and vehicle when I'm the one who works to pay for shit!?
Am I being selfish because I don't exactly feel like helping her out right now? Maybe if she hadn't done that I wouldn't mind being more helpful, but shit..
"you've got to go through hell before you get to heaven."
I'm certainly on the long hard road out of hell right now.
Is it wrong that I don't think she deserves shit considering I have worked so that she could stay at home and watch our child grow? Like I said, if she hadn't done all this and we just separated I would be more willing to help her out. But after what she did I don't feel like helping her do shit.
SO ANGRY!
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 3,468
Last seen: 5 hours, 3 minutes
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no i agree you shouldnt hand over the kid and the car. like people earlier have said get in contact with a lawyer and tell her to get her own ride to her parents. her turning this around on you like its your fault is just a form of manipulation and blame trading.
i dont know how things are where you live but where im from unless the mom is a crackhead DCF usually gives temporary custody to the mom while court shit is going down it can be a pain in the ass of a process and lengthy and costly but at least once its all said and done you wont have to deal with her hanging visitation with the kid for money over your head. a good friend of mine is currently in that mess and it SUCKS.
her continuance to be a bitch is further fuel that theres no reconciliation and you can hopefully see that but through it all you have to keep record of EVERYTHING get her to put anything you guys agree on now in writing you will need it in court and it will show your the mature and responsible one in the long run and thats what your going to need most.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 3,468
Last seen: 5 hours, 3 minutes
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14641331 - 06/20/11 06:35 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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and dont give her money for stuff for the kid if she needs diapers buy diapers same for formula and clothes an all that shit and again get it all in writing not only that she said the kid needed things but that also you got those things for the kid save all receipts and records.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West
"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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DarkMatterOfFact
ZealtheDealforthePill
Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 1,558
Loc: South Cali
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14641371 - 06/20/11 07:09 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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just out of curiousity how old are you and your wife? because the hole situation seems immature.
now shes trying to manipulate after all thats happened? that sucks. sounds like a really unhealthy relationship if shes a big control freak. sucks you have a kid you care about involved too.
ide try to fix the situation with honesty after a few days. to let things sink in though. if it was my wife and if it were me.
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Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.
Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.
Edited by DarkMatterOfFact (06/20/11 07:10 AM)
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: Rewindicus]
#14641815 - 06/20/11 10:41 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rewindicus said:
and dont give her money for stuff for the kid if she needs diapers buy diapers same for formula and clothes an all that shit and again get it all in writing not only that she said the kid needed things but that also you got those things for the kid save all receipts and records.
:this:
Keep receipts, paychecks, mortgage/rent receipts, checks, car payments, all of that. It's such a dirty painful thing but you need all you can get. To go along with what TTT said and got flamed for, YOU ARE MALE. Court systems are gonna eat you alive and shit you out. TTT was in no way being sexist, sadly this is how america works (assuming you are in the US) and worse than that California will give a crackhead mom custody, welfare and child support. Don't give her the car, if she wants to go to her parents they can come pick her up, if she has that guy come pick her up, so be it, just be sure to get pictures. If she wants to take the boy, tell her you would rather he stay there with you. She will use grandma and grandpa's house to lure him, if she does tell her that she's being low and manipulative and tell her you will bring him by later.
You're handling this well my friend, just don't let your emotions guide you the dark side of the force is powerful but evil!
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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greys
Mushroom Dork
Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 37,370
Loc: nunya
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
She had been talking about separating recently. She said she just wanted her space to grow and that she didn't want to be with anyone. Then I find that shit. I'm so pissed. She couldn't have even waited until we figured things out. And all this happens on fathers day.
dont take it personal....some people (especially women) cannot be alone. some are almost hardwired to have someone already there before they end a relationship. Part of it is probably insecurity etc.
Dont take her back though...they tend to not respect you anymore and if they have cheated once...they WILL cheat again guaranteed.
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JesusGoneRogue
Have a little face.
Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 7,616
Loc: my happy place
Last seen: 15 days, 14 hours
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this thread is full of deceit, sadness, and anger.
so spread the love! 
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Bipolarbear
Stranger with candy
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 11 months, 10 days
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I stand by my original advice. Have you not realized yet that you're being setup to lose this divorce? But by all means, don't listen when a handful of us say to lawyer up and collect evidence to prove you're the faithful and good parent in all this. She already deleted the evidence proving her infidelity and now she is blaming you for her adulterous ways. Smarten up boy. You're being taken for a ride.
Apologies if that sounds rude, I really mean that. You do however need to fully appreciate the sticky situation you're in and just how bad these things can get. Indemnify yourself against any possible recriminations.
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Anonymous #5
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You are approaching the union of two people like its a business transaction. Just sayin.
The court doesnt have to permit phone logs as evidence in a divorce case anyway, if they dont feel like it. So stop acting like it makes a big difference.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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i'm gonna have to agree with Bipolarbear,.women have been favored in family court for so long, they have begun to take advantage of it, even in some cases, abuse it. courts do not like being used in this manor. get a good lawyer, start collecting evidence. look over old CC bills looks for anything out of the norm, hotels, restaurants, ect. emails are great evidence.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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Anonymous #5
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You act like theres a fortune at stake. I'm pretty sure as long as he gets decent visitation with the son...thats all that matters.
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closed veil
person, place or thing
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,272
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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what makes you think he's get that w/o a good lawyer? been almost a year since i've seen my daughter. had one court date, still haven't got a ruling from the judge.
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sVs said:
Not doing drugs will sometimes do wonders for you.
DANCE BITCH!
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