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 ChellePepper
Stranger
Registered: 02/12/11
Posts: 29
Last seen: 2 years, 27 days
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 Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move?  [Re: fbi365]
#14315024 - 04/19/11 02:19 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'll be honest about the situation I was in. This was the most extreme.
The fellow wasn't ugly. In fact, he was exactly what I like in terms of looks. He was tall, had deep brown eyes and thick, brown hair. He had a good smile and was a kind person. In addition, he was really smart. I like fantasy and medieval literature, he took me to a renaissance fair. We swapped books and philosophies. I am a writer, he bought me a really nice leather-bound journal. He was considerate, thoughtful and fun to talk to. He was also incredibly pushy. He told me one night that I was exactly the sort of woman he wanted to marry. This was right before he asked if he could hold my hand. To which I recoiled and said I'd rather not. The thought of him touching me turned my stomach. I don't know what it was about him, but I knew I could never be intimate with him.
Sort of funny: He got into a battle of wits with the guy I was actually dating at the time. My guy lost spectacularly. I then stopped dating said guy because he was, in fact, a bit dense and treated me quite poorly. I had stayed with him because he had a huge cock, though. ANYWAY.
I guess from my previous experience, be aggressive, but not fawning.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 1,887
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 5 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: ChellePepper]
#14315054 - 04/19/11 02:24 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
ChellePepper said:
I'll be honest about the situation I was in. This was the most extreme.
The fellow wasn't ugly. In fact, he was exactly what I like in terms of looks. He was tall, had deep brown eyes and thick, brown hair. He had a good smile and was a kind person. In addition, he was really smart. I like fantasy and medieval literature, he took me to a renaissance fair. We swapped books and philosophies. I am a writer, he bought me a really nice leather-bound journal. He was considerate, thoughtful and fun to talk to. He was also incredibly pushy. He told me one night that I was exactly the sort of woman he wanted to marry. This was right before he asked if he could hold my hand. To which I recoiled and said I'd rather not. The thought of him touching me turned my stomach. I don't know what it was about him, but I knew I could never be intimate with him.
Sort of funny: He got into a battle of wits with the guy I was actually dating at the time. My guy lost spectacularly. I then stopped dating said guy because he was, in fact, a bit dense and treated me quite poorly. I had stayed with him because he had a huge cock, though. ANYWAY.
I guess from my previous experience, be aggressive, but not fawning.
So, slow and rude beats, smart and kind? Chicks really are crazy.
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the way out is through
Pwnasaurus said 'Most contradictory post of the year goes to you!'
 
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ChellePepper
Stranger
Registered: 02/12/11
Posts: 29
Last seen: 2 years, 27 days
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14315130 - 04/19/11 02:38 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said:
Quote:
ChellePepper said:
I'll be honest about the situation I was in. This was the most extreme.
The fellow wasn't ugly. In fact, he was exactly what I like in terms of looks. He was tall, had deep brown eyes and thick, brown hair. He had a good smile and was a kind person. In addition, he was really smart. I like fantasy and medieval literature, he took me to a renaissance fair. We swapped books and philosophies. I am a writer, he bought me a really nice leather-bound journal. He was considerate, thoughtful and fun to talk to. He was also incredibly pushy. He told me one night that I was exactly the sort of woman he wanted to marry. This was right before he asked if he could hold my hand. To which I recoiled and said I'd rather not. The thought of him touching me turned my stomach. I don't know what it was about him, but I knew I could never be intimate with him.
Sort of funny: He got into a battle of wits with the guy I was actually dating at the time. My guy lost spectacularly. I then stopped dating said guy because he was, in fact, a bit dense and treated me quite poorly. I had stayed with him because he had a huge cock, though. ANYWAY.
I guess from my previous experience, be aggressive, but not fawning.
So, slow and rude beats, smart and kind? Chicks really are crazy.
Naw. The guy I was dating wasn't anything serious. It was just for sex and his beautiful cock. I didn't want anything serious with either of them. And it was easier to keep an emotional distance with "Guy".
The guy I am with now is sweet and kind. And while he may not be book smart and he doesn't like playing scrabble with me, we connect on other levels. Don't get me wrong, he isn't dumb. He is more mechanically inclined - i like watching him put his machines together. : ) Thing is, we just work. We balance each other out. That situation is a little different and doesn't apply here. We both fell head over heels for each other quickly. We couldn't fight it and didn't want to. There were no games, just an honest connection.
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Fragment
Registered: 04/18/11
Posts: 76
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14315162 - 04/19/11 02:44 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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Indeed.
Aggressive, in other words grow a fucking backbone.
Also she's not crazy women don't like a man they can control or boss around.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Fragment]
#14315186 - 04/19/11 02:49 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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There's women out there who love controlling and bossing around 
you don't want those women, OP.
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ChellePepper
Stranger
Registered: 02/12/11
Posts: 29
Last seen: 2 years, 27 days
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Fragment]
#14315187 - 04/19/11 02:49 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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I really don't want you to think that the only way to get girls is to be a dick. That isn't it.
You seem like an honest, sweet guy. That is what women want. You just have to have a certain amount of swagger, too. Quote:
Fragment said:
Indeed.
Aggressive, in other words grow a fucking backbone.
Also she's not crazy women don't like a man they can control or boss around.
This is also very true. The guy I am with is a MAN. I can't say that I haven't tried to push the limits - just to see. If I am being unreasonable or demanding, he is having NONE of it. However, when I am honestly hurting and concerned, he will take the time to listen and adjust whatever is bother me. It also takes a good man to know the difference and follow through.
Edited by ChellePepper (04/19/11 02:53 AM)
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 shroomedalice
self titled
Registered: 11/23/09
Posts: 103
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14315196 - 04/19/11 02:50 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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I sugest taking a photo of her to the pro's and getting the closes
looking girl you can.
it might take your mind off the problem at hand 
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Fragment
Registered: 04/18/11
Posts: 76
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: shroomedalice]
#14315253 - 04/19/11 03:03 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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@A1, Agreed/put them in their place.
@Chelle,1+
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shLong
Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 10,259
Loc: 
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Fragment]
#14316194 - 04/19/11 11:08 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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Id dial back the Mr Nice Guy and see how she reacts. Just act like you have WAY more important shit to do, see if she wants more of your attention after that.
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HipsterDoofus
older than dirt
Registered: 12/07/06
Posts: 245
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14316227 - 04/19/11 11:17 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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You're safe. She's never going to be attracted to you.
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potgrrl
Tripper Grrl
Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 558
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: shLong] 1
#14316288 - 04/19/11 11:38 AM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
shLong said:
Id dial back the Mr Nice Guy and see how she reacts. Just act like you have WAY more important shit to do, see if she wants more of your attention after that.
I agree with dialing back the supplicating nice guy.
However, don't do it to get a response from her - it WILL get a response, but it's not a response that you should give any credibility for the most part. Reducing the level of "I want you to be my girlfriend" attention towards her will likely result in her trying to get that type of attention back, but NOT because she wants to be the girlfriend - only because she wants the ATTENTION.
This is not to say that all girls who hang out with guys are merely looking for attention. Sometimes we hang out with guys who we KNOW like us but they're too afraid to put moves on us, and really, we're waiting for them to do it. This doesn't sound like the case - you've tried to put moves on her and have been rejected, and yet she's touching you, etc, and you're letting happen. It's clear from that dynamic that you're more into her than she is into you.
TL;DR: Cut out the nice guy act, trying to get her to like you when clearly she doesn't "feel it", but don't do it so that you see how she reacts to your pulling away. That's manipulative and you'll just get a confusing result back anyway.
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[url="http://youtube.com/mycelian"]My new favorite YouTube channel[/url]
Everything is arbitrary. (me)
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy
Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: potgrrl]
#14316592 - 04/19/11 12:49 PM (2 years, 1 month ago) |
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I think the best thing to do in this instance is to either cut it off with her or play it cool and disinterested, depending on what your emotional disposition will allow. You're not the largest blip on her radar, hate to say. She will continue to treat you like dirt, because you allow and even encourage her to. Also I don't think it's usually a good idea to lay all your cards on the table in instances like this. A chick like this doesn't want what she knows she can have.
Keep your expectations low, otherwise you'll likely be disappointed.
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Entropy is increasing.
To send me a PM, go to my journal
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Grok]
#14317058 - 04/19/11 02:16 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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Okay I'm a girl, how do I beat the just friends situation?
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zgbzgb1
Stranger
Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 50
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Anonymous #2] 1
#14317073 - 04/19/11 02:18 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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Stop being whipped.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 1,887
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 5 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Grok]
#14317110 - 04/19/11 02:24 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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Okay, so I think I get the point. My friends seem to disagree, but they didn't have all the details you got here. Anyway, I thought I would change the subject of the tread to reflect what has become an incessant theme in my life:
"Were just friends."
I can think of three girls recently, more that I cannot remember now, where their idea of what friends do is a little different than mine and where I wanted more than just friends, but they didn't.
I am doing something to make them view me as a perfectly adequate friend, but not boyfriend material. I am not the greatest looking guy, but not ugly either. I am extremely introverted. Funny. Well educated. Not poor. I have a job. Seems to me that I should make a perfectly adequate boyfriend, but this is simply not the case.
What do you all think about  the friend syndrome for good?
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the way out is through
Pwnasaurus said 'Most contradictory post of the year goes to you!'
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 1,887
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 5 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#14317130 - 04/19/11 02:28 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Okay I'm a girl, how do I beat the just friends situation?
If you are a girl you could beat the just friends situation by sleeping with him. Get drunk and make a few bad decisions together...
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the way out is through
Pwnasaurus said 'Most contradictory post of the year goes to you!'
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ChellePepper
Stranger
Registered: 02/12/11
Posts: 29
Last seen: 2 years, 27 days
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#14317168 - 04/19/11 02:36 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Okay I'm a girl, how do I beat the just friends situation?
Well, I've been in this situation more times than I care to count. I have no idea what to tell you. I am the type of girl who attracts boy friends. I am outdoorsy. I can hold my own in a conversation about sports - SEC college football, at least. I can drink, smoke and otherwise party with the best them. I'm not clingy or needy in my friendships, I just go with the flow. I love playing video games and can have detailed convos about every system from the Atari to the 360 - including the Segas.
I'm moderately attractive, slim but curvy with a "cute" face, I'm told. I am not a total tomboy - I love getting dressed up to go out with makeup, accessories. I get my toes/nail done. My hair is always neat.
There have been more than a couple of these boy friends that I developed a mad crush on. I though, WOW we are such great friends, we'd be perfect as a couple. However, by that time I was just "one of the guys." They'd probably have slept with me if we got drunk enough, but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted them to want me the way they wanted little Miss Muffet who sat on the river bank while I busted my ass trying to wakeboard. They didn't. We hung out a plenty and I would get invited to the outing Miss Muffet wouldn't, but I'd have rather been the girl they took out to diner instead of the sports bar.
At times, it was heart breaking. Especially watching them cuddle on the couch with their Miss Muffet. Now, I'm glad things stayed the way they did. I started dating a guy BEFORE I became friends with him and he love that I interested in some of the same things he is. But first, I was just a pretty, chatty girl to him.
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fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 1,887
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 5 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: zgbzgb1]
#14317177 - 04/19/11 02:37 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
Grok said:
I think the best thing to do in this instance is to either cut it off with her or play it cool and disinterested, depending on what your emotional disposition will allow. You're not the largest blip on her radar, hate to say. She will continue to treat you like dirt, because you allow and even encourage her to. Also I don't think it's usually a good idea to lay all your cards on the table in instances like this. A chick like this doesn't want what she knows she can have.
Keep your expectations low, otherwise you'll likely be disappointed.
This makes sense. This is sound level headed advice. Thanks Grok and Chelle, and everyone else who did not suggest acting even more irrational than her.
Quote:
zgbzgb1 said:
Stop being whipped.
Seriously? I will pistol whip the next guy that says 'stop being whipped' 
It just doesn't make sense! 
--------------------
the way out is through
Pwnasaurus said 'Most contradictory post of the year goes to you!'
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potgrrl
Tripper Grrl
Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 558
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: fbi365]
#14317196 - 04/19/11 02:41 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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In general, here's how GUYS avoid being put into the Friend Zone:
If you're attracted to a woman and want to date her and be with her sexually, make it clear to her that's what you want. Feminine women deeply appreciate men who can be direct in their words, and who can accept that feminine women will ALWAYS be indirect in theirs.
If she says "no thanks let's just be friends", your response is "no thanks, I don't want to be 'just friends'. Maybe I'll ask you out again in a few months if you're a good girl in the mean time" then WALK AWAY. Don't pout, don't whine, don't get angry... and DO NOT try to "be her friend" so she can see what a great guy you are, thinking she'll decide to date you that way.
Go hang with your male friends. Go work out - lift weights, get strong! Give the girls something to touch when they are trying to let you know they're interested. (Ask for dates with the girls who touch your muscles!!)
Get over your fear of rejection by reminding yourself that fortune favors the bold, and it can all be fun and light if you get into the right mindset. Women LIKE men who can take rejection and not go and pout or whine or worse, get angry and lash out.
Of course, I'm not saying it's going to be easy - (insecure) girls play games like crazy to try to pull guys into their 'orbit', just to get attention and feel attractive. I understand how difficult that must be for guys to figure out, but certainly, if she's attracted to you you'll know much better once you begin to be more direct yourself.
(hey Anonymous chick, start your own thread and I'll pipe in but I don't like to dilute threads)
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[url="http://youtube.com/mycelian"]My new favorite YouTube channel[/url]
Everything is arbitrary. (me)
Edited by potgrrl (04/19/11 02:52 PM)
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Does she like me or is she fucking with me? Next move? [Re: ChellePepper]
#14317306 - 04/19/11 03:03 PM (2 years, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
ChellePepper said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Okay I'm a girl, how do I beat the just friends situation?
Well, I've been in this situation more times than I care to count. I have no idea what to tell you. I am the type of girl who attracts boy friends. I am outdoorsy. I can hold my own in a conversation about sports - SEC college football, at least. I can drink, smoke and otherwise party with the best them. I'm not clingy or needy in my friendships, I just go with the flow. I love playing video games and can have detailed convos about every system from the Atari to the 360 - including the Segas.
I'm moderately attractive, slim but curvy with a "cute" face, I'm told. I am not a total tomboy - I love getting dressed up to go out with makeup, accessories. I get my toes/nail done. My hair is always neat.
There have been more than a couple of these boy friends that I developed a mad crush on. I though, WOW we are such great friends, we'd be perfect as a couple. However, by that time I was just "one of the guys." They'd probably have slept with me if we got drunk enough, but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted them to want me the way they wanted little Miss Muffet who sat on the river bank while I busted my ass trying to wakeboard. They didn't. We hung out a plenty and I would get invited to the outing Miss Muffet wouldn't, but I'd have rather been the girl they took out to diner instead of the sports bar.
At times, it was heart breaking. Especially watching them cuddle on the couch with their Miss Muffet. Now, I'm glad things stayed the way they did. I started dating a guy BEFORE I became friends with him and he love that I interested in some of the same things he is. But first, I was just a pretty, chatty girl to him.
That sucks. I fear that I am 'one of the boys'. I'm not sure if I am or not but I seem to get that impression sometimes. I get so many mixed signals from him though, he acts like he's into me but then he treats me like a buddy of his. Then he turns around and dates some other chick. It adds insult to injury when the other chicks seem very much like me in many regards. Then when his feelings fall flat I suddenly get the attention again, kind of. I've been open for a relationship with him for years and years now but he's never made the move to turn it into some more than a friendship. There are a lot of common interests that we have, but I've even tried to show him the things that make me different from him too, the parts of life I pursue when he isn't around, in case that peaks his curiosity or makes him be like "hey this girl has her own separate life too" because I know firsthand what a terrible thing it can be to be in a relationship where literally everything is done as a couple, both him and I enjoying our private times alone. Anyway I think it's a lost cause. He is a very close friend but my feelings for him can't be pushed aside any longer, and watching him date girls that I wouldn't mind having as a friend too just makes things worse because I am obviously still jealous of them.
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