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 kelpfish
Stranger
Registered: 04/17/10
Posts: 440
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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 Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey...  [Re: Anonymous #1]
#13935727 - 02/09/11 09:27 PM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I just put myself in his shoes. If I called him and he didn't answer. I'd have to be out of my fucking mind to call back again repeatedly with no answer. Or anybody... If somebody doesn't answer their phone after even two calls, don't you figure that they're probably getting annoyed by continuing to call?
Oh, come on dude, you're such a little prick lol. You have no idea how generous I've been, or how much I've been there for my friend, or how much time I've spent talking on the phone to him, considering I just don't like talking on the phone very much. You only assume. Though I can see how I came across as an immature brat in my first post.
sorry it bugs me not only ur first but the 2nd and 3rd
don't put up the generosity flag to claim some reward
"Like how a good friend should just get you like that" if its a real problem and you had any sort of balls to fix this you address your matters with your friend as to put what your "addressing" as rightfully as you can.
Friends are there for friends if you can put a Number on it or some sort of date or "how many times I've been there" then your not counting a friendship anymore ...just #'s " Oh 10x today 20x tomorrow that will be 30x ah ah ah I can add 
Not to log onto some internet forum like this one and expect a Dr. Phil?
Edited by kelpfish (02/09/11 09:32 PM)
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kelpfish
Stranger
Registered: 04/17/10
Posts: 440
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: kelpfish]
#13935734 - 02/09/11 09:29 PM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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And im still confused on who your more mad at??
Your friend for calling u 10x in a row
Or your cellphone telling you your friend called 10x in a row
I just am still confused 
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Anonymous #1
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: kelpfish]
#13936605 - 02/10/11 12:04 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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You play dumb. Duh, yes i am mad at my cell phone 
I think youre butthurt that somebody ignores your calls
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Anonymous #2
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#13936687 - 02/10/11 12:17 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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i agree but as you can see... there about 72 different possible varibles in the understanding of "butthurt", you see...
and it makes the world a whole lot more butthurt, if you catch my drift.
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,968
Last seen: 5 hours, 54 minutes
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#13937375 - 02/10/11 02:36 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
You play dumb. Duh, yes i am mad at my cell phone
I think youre butthurt that somebody ignores your calls
if you haven't caught on yet... the guy can't even spell. i don't know if you should be taking him too seriously.
--------------------
People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... *DELETED* [Re: dummy]
#13937401 - 02/10/11 02:42 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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Post deleted by AnonymousReason for deletion: nope
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
 
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,823
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 22 days, 3 hours
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#13938261 - 02/10/11 10:03 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
You play dumb. Duh, yes i am mad at my cell phone
I think youre butthurt that somebody ignores your calls
Ding ding ding.
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,823
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 22 days, 3 hours
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#13938276 - 02/10/11 10:09 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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Kelpfish is obviously emotionally invested in the situation, which is a pretty blatant tell-all that he either IS dealing with the same situation from the flipside, or he's had to in the past and got burned and never let it go.
As for what you've got going on... I've been on both sides of the coin personally, (having been rather insecure/lonely when I was younger, and having moved through it only to find myself with friends who rather resemble my former self) and all I can tell you is that you're not doing anything wrong, and people have the right to their space, but you also seem completely afraid of communicating with him.
It seems like you think it will "seem gay" to talk about your feelings. Is that it? Buck up, buddy. People who have frank communication about what they feel live healthy lives. It's not gay, it's healthy.
It's pretty common for masculine types to shy away from communication. The irony is astounding, since they're apparently "too tough" to live down a fear of communication. That is ridiculous. Frankly, moving past it yields such confidence in one's self that you can communicate your perspectives succinctly in such a way that does not undermine the meaning of your expressions.
Your friend probably WANTS to have these kinds of talks with you. That's my experience. Lonely and needy people really need spiritual and emotional understanding... which means that he needs you to reach out to him and make him understand how it MAKES YOU FEEL when he does what he does... but in the process, what you will be doing is showing him that you REALLY care about him because you're willing to open up and show him what you feel. That is good friendship. That is what good friendships are built on.
I know, it sounds "so gay." You do sound like you're in high school, bro. Suck it the fuck up and either communicate with him or cut him off. Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the worst thing you can do to a friend.
Tell him how it makes you feel, not that he is out of line. There is a difference. He needs to learn that he is out of line ON HIS OWN. If you TELL him he's out of line, you will get a defensive ego-wall in response. What you want is to communicate with him and actually reach a comradery and understanding at the end.
The only way to do this is non-violent communication... which means you don't TELL him anything ABOUT HIM. You TELL him about YOU. You tell him how YOU feel. Express how frustrating it is to try to sleep through ten calls. (You can bend the rules a little and tell him you don't even want to get up to see who it is, not that you know it's him) And THEN, only after making it clear that you're not attacking him, and that you're EXPRESSING YOURSELF because IT'S YOUR RIGHT... THEN you suggest some basic compromises like, "Maybe you could just call twice... if I don't answer two in a row, please wait til I call you back because I'm probably sleeping or busy."
I know quite a bit about this stuff... I spent years being the needy friend, only to grow and end up friends with similar people... I then realized what I'd done to my earlier friends and vowed to myself and everyone else to develop my non-violent communication skills so that I don't end up passively hating on someone who I claim as a friend for not meeting my requirements even though I haven't stated them to him. (Many people do not understand the idea that "friend" and "family" are different and that you cannot always count on one like the other and vice versa... how we relate to these two words is different for every person.)
Edited by JacquesCousteau (02/10/11 10:26 AM)
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 TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
#13938336 - 02/10/11 10:36 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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Tel your friend to stop calling you and if you happen to be around for the phone calls, answer and tell him you can't chill, simple.
I have anger issues on the flip side. I HATE it when I call someone and they never call me back. Depending on who it is, I may call a couple of times to like 8 just to be a bitch if I'm in a bad mood and was looking to that person for something. I usually only call back more than once if plans were made and the person isn't following through with the spoken plans and doesn't let me know why. If you happen to that, don't. It makes normally sane and chill people like me get angry. 
OP, your solution is a simple one. Communicate. It doesn't matter if you don't feel like you have to, if hes your friend you will.
Edited by TTT (02/10/11 10:37 AM)
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,823
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 22 days, 3 hours
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: TTT]
#13938351 - 02/10/11 10:44 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said:
OP, your solution is a simple one. Communicate. It doesn't matter if you don't feel like you have to, if hes your friend you will.
Yep.
In fact, that is the "tl;dr" to my above. 
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kelpfish
Stranger
Registered: 04/17/10
Posts: 440
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: A friendship issue, not a relationship, but this is starting to get kinda ghey... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
#13940411 - 02/10/11 06:15 PM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
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lol I have never been in this situation something similar but nothing like this
But I do have lotts of people I know explain exactly as you would.
What the fuck is this school you going to grade me on my spelling>
I dont care what you say what I say is true
Address the issue rightfully as a friend not as someone who looks for a pre-lap on an internet forum before the final show to figure out "What should I do"?
You know what to fucking do hes your friend help him help you in ending this shit
And whats so fucking funny bout the Phone Question
Its serious are you mad at what you see on your cell phone screen?
"10 Missed Calls From So So"
or are you Mad at your fRiend for calling you 10 times when you didn't or couldn't be bothered ...
Play your hands if you got em this isnt bout luck its about giving what's on your mind to the people you know, care, love What ever else you wanna call it.
Im to far gone to be called Retarded anything beyond that is perfect.
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