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 deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 53,700
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 crazed babblings of homeless people  1
#13692117 - 12/27/10 07:09 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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As I was walking back from a local market today I was accosted by a homeless man who shouted "IF YOU PUT MONKEY BLOOD IN YOUR BODY, YOU WILL DIE!" 
Anyone have some good stories about deranged mutterings they overheard on the streets? 
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
  
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blazenn
rawdog the whale.
Registered: 05/13/09
Posts: 4,584
Loc: 
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 Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: deCypher] 1
#13692123 - 12/27/10 07:11 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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theres this one homeless guy ive seen a couple times that always talks about getting some "homeless pussy" and how easy that homeless pussy is to get.
same guy even offered to show my friend how to eat out a "homelessss pussssyyy"
hahaha homeless drunks are fun to talk to
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 2Cents
Mushie Friend
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,288
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 days, 1 hour
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: deCypher] 3
#13692131 - 12/27/10 07:12 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dude I live right next to Seattle. The other day I went to lunch with some mates and ran across a women with a sign reading
"my spaceship broke down, need help"
Or something like that.
And that's not even weird here.
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Long live the Shroomery!!!
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LobsterSauce
Concrete clogs
Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 14,507
Loc: Down the rocks
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: deCypher]
#13692139 - 12/27/10 07:14 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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The funniest I heard was from a guy with a Chelsea smile drinking vodka. Used always see him around.
Well he was telling a story to other homeless guys.
All we heard was "So she turns around to me,pulls down her top,whips out her tit and says "a pound a suck,a pound a suck"."
It took a second or two to register put that was hilarious.
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"Have you ever cried while playing guitar? No? Then you've never even felt your music! YOU'RE A FOOL!".
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Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker
Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,310
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: LobsterSauce]
#13692143 - 12/27/10 07:15 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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watch the ENTIRE thing, it starts off slow.
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nicechrisman
Cactuar
Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 11,659
Loc: So Cal
Last seen: 6 hours, 15 minutes
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There's all kinds of crazy homeless people here in Bellingham. I usually just try to avoid much conversation with them though.
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2Cents
Mushie Friend
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,288
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 days, 1 hour
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So epic!
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Long live the Shroomery!!!
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deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 53,700
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Quote:
SamuelLJackson said:
watch the ENTIRE thing, it starts off slow.
"This is a trillion dollar industry ... and we takin' over the world." 
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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2Cents
Mushie Friend
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,288
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 days, 1 hour
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: deCypher]
#13692183 - 12/27/10 07:23 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Wouldn't it have been awesome if he had said that with a Bill Cosby accent!
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Long live the Shroomery!!!
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Eshu
Sean.
Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 2,139
Loc: USA
Last seen: 2 years, 8 hours
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: 2Cents]
#13692451 - 12/27/10 08:25 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Uploaded with ImageShack.us
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~^*>~.Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit.~^*>~
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Salomon
living on borrowed time
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 20,299
Loc: I dont even care anymore
Last seen: 6 hours, 22 minutes
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Quote:
SamuelLJackson said:
watch the ENTIRE thing, it starts off slow.
in the related videos
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,823
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: deCypher] 1
#13692527 - 12/27/10 08:35 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Woah dude, that's weird... my most vivid instance of this is somewhat similar to what you described him saying:
On a train to a concert in the city, an older gentlemen with obvious issues sat across from us. He was discheveled and muttered incessantly throughout the journey in a way that could be described as reflectant of the general energy of the car, if you paid attention. As a result, it became more and more difficult to not laugh at the things he was muttering.
I believe the crowning line was,
"Boys... if you stick.. your penis... in a girl's... vagina... You're gonna get AIDS and DIE!
I'M SORRAYY!!! I'M SORRAY!!! But it true!"
I was with my male friend and two chicks, and me and my friend kept making eye contact trying to make each other bust out laughing and embarass himself... ...the second he said the above, we both  so bad.
Ah, to be 17 again.
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biff
Boom
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Salomon]
#13692530 - 12/27/10 08:35 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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there used to be a homeless guy in Columbus when i lived there that would yell "Help is on the way!!" up and down high st. near the campus. And he would rap you anything for a quarter. Always wondered what happened to him. been about 4 years since i have lived there.
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antiPock
fighting entropy
Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 2,509
Loc: Sol 3
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Salomon]
#13692559 - 12/27/10 08:39 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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There used to be this one homeless guy in Chapel Hill NC, when I was in college (and also doing lots of acid). Several times when I walked by, I swear to you he would spit whatever thought was on top of my brain right back at me, and then say things like "you can SEE me can't you? not many can" and shit like that. It creeped me the fuck out but I do feel like schizophrenics are borderline mindreaders at times or something.
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hidenseek
loafter
Registered: 06/10/09
Posts: 4,586
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Eshu]
#13692602 - 12/27/10 08:47 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Eshu said:
Uploaded with ImageShack.us
FIXED!!!!!!!!!!
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: deCypher] 2
#13692611 - 12/27/10 08:47 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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It all means something. Murmurs in the night. Rumors, whispers. Decipher. You've been called upon. You are the chosen one. Will you accept the Quest? Can you see what's coming next? If you drink the monkey's blood, you will die. The message will appear when you're ready. Look to the Red Pagoda. The midnight goose will lay her eggs. You have been called upon. You are the chosen one.
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LoveYourLife
MDMA
Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 1,843
Loc: Cincinnati
Last seen: 9 days, 5 hours
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Lion]
#13692626 - 12/27/10 08:49 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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There is a homeless dude here in Cincinnati with no legs that rolls around in a wheelchair with a sign that says..
GIVE ME MONEY OR I'LL KICK YOU IN THE FACE!
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Salomon
living on borrowed time
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 20,299
Loc: I dont even care anymore
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: LoveYourLife]
#13692647 - 12/27/10 08:53 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,823
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Lion]
#13692682 - 12/27/10 08:57 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lion said:
It all means something. Murmurs in the night. Rumors, whispers. Decipher. You've been called upon. You are the chosen one. Will you accept the Quest? Can you see what's coming next? If you drink the monkey's blood, you will die. The message will appear when you're ready. Look to the Red Pagoda. The midnight goose will lay her eggs. You have been called upon. You are the chosen one.
Hahahahaa awesome. I can't tell if you're tripping or being funny. Well played.  Either way, I actually think there was some truth in that.
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craigy93
Flowing Away
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 379
Loc: Kentucky
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Salomon]
#13692710 - 12/27/10 09:01 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said:
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lasdR
nostalgic sci-fi
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 726
Loc: In your mind
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: craigy93]
#13692839 - 12/27/10 09:23 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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well yeah, humans are apes, and humans have aids. he just spreadin the wisdom.
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Nexius
Ruler
Registered: 06/24/07
Posts: 3,960
Loc: Earth
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: lasdR]
#13692872 - 12/27/10 09:29 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak
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Parkseerf
Registered: 01/31/10
Posts: 1,607
Loc: Louisiana
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Nexius]
#13692893 - 12/27/10 09:34 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Twice in my life i have been offered a blowjob from homeless crack addicted black men in my town
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deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 53,700
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: Lion]
#13693275 - 12/27/10 11:01 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lion said:
It all means something. Murmurs in the night. Rumors, whispers. Decipher. You've been called upon. You are the chosen one. Will you accept the Quest? Can you see what's coming next? If you drink the monkey's blood, you will die. The message will appear when you're ready. Look to the Red Pagoda. The midnight goose will lay her eggs. You have been called upon. You are the chosen one.
the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls....
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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halo
Tripper
Registered: 11/01/07
Posts: 845
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: deCypher]
#13698831 - 12/29/10 01:23 AM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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There was a homeless dude once who told me I was the reincarnation of matthew and that he had some church and stuff. Cool dude really nice but def a little schizo or something. Honestly wish I could have talked to him more, some homeless people are very interesting.
Also I was at the park once and this one homeless dude with a suitcase full of clothes woke up and started yelling at everyone and saying someone took his weed. He was just screaming shit really annoying, then he walked away.
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All drugs should be legal
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blewmeanie
Sativa Cyborg
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 28,512
Loc: Jacksonville FL
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Re: crazed babblings of homeless people [Re: halo] 1
#13698926 - 12/29/10 01:44 AM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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I had to deal with a lady at work who was babbling on about how she was the head of some union that hunts down pickpockets. She was convinced that someone had stolen her dime and replaced it with a nickel. Latter she pissed on herself, and then asked us to call her a cab. The cabby came back latter on that night and said that she ended up no having any money when he dropped her off.
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