Home | Community | Message Board


Everything Mushrooms
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> Sexuality and Relationships

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Amazon Shop for: Aldous Huxley, Buttseks, Scales

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5  [ show all ]
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some?
    #13624951 - 12/13/10 06:07 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

I personally dont think its possible. If you love her and she loves you, involving other people in this equation is sure to end in butt-hurts and arguments...right? Ive barked up the tree for a 3-some for years...half joking, and she knows that. Today I half joked about it again, and she made a comment about it...like, yeah? Well who are you thinking of? I went to the bar and we got to texting. Turns out shes good for it...as am I. But then I tossed in the other dude equation. I just cant do it. I cant watch another guy stick it to the love of my life. Is that selfish?

We were talking about having an open minded sexual relationship. We want to come home to each other every night. We love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of our lives, but dont want things to end sour in sexual pitty/cheating...so maybe we should be adults and talk about it. Good idea. Try out new sexual adventures, but I cant help but think "new sexual adventures" means shes wantin some dude to stick it to her. Am I wrong? But at the same time Im a guy. I think about stickin it to other chicks all the time. Im a guy...I watch porn. She doesnt. Anything dirty shes like "eh". No 69, and no butt sex. And now she wants to explore sexually for a 3-some? Maybe Im lacking in the bed, but she loves me and...being only human, wants to "out source" for sexual pleasure? Absolutely I would love a 3-some. But the thought of another dude just kills me...

I think, well what is she gonna feel while Im sticking it to another woman? She says "itl be hard, but I love and trust you enough to let you have it." I dont know if I trust her enough to let, and watch her do another guy. Its either all or nothing.

Should I just take it?


--------------------


Edited by I_was_the_walrus (12/13/10 06:31 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #1

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #13624955 - 12/13/10 06:15 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

will be fun, but will never last


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineMilf Master
Stranger
Registered: 12/13/10
Posts: 4
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13625262 - 12/13/10 10:04 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

I think its HIGHLY dependent on your relationship. Ive had a threesome with my girlfriend (who I will probably marry eventually) and another girl and it was awesome. A few things that probably helped is that we were completely wasted, rolling and tripping at the time. We will probably do it again, and have been trying to set up a full swap with a couple via online means but it hasnt panned out. Im very confident in my sexual abilities, and doubt any other guy could get her where I get her. That may be part of it, so if you arent as confident about that maybe a threesome isnt for you. Get a guy whos uglier than you too, that may help.

One thing I would reccomend above a threesome is a foursome. Find another couple to have sex with, that way if another guy is fucking your girl, then your fucking his girl too. I wouldnt want two guys on my girl either without another girl to fuck.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #2

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #13625390 - 12/13/10 10:43 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

You are holding a double standard that YOU need to get over.

You expect to be able to ram other chicks but its a big turn off if she's getting nailed by another guy? :lol:

My partner and I have come across this topic heavily. She used to hate the idea.. And I used to have a double standard myself.

I'm pretty sure this has turned into a fetish for us now.. :lol: We are both comfortable with the idea of another person (of any sex) joining in with us. From what we know, we only get once chance on this earth so might as well get as full of a human experience as possible, right?

Only thing we are unsure of is how to go about doing any of it. Friends or strangers? We are settling on the idea that friends (who are obviously open-minded, and trustworthy) would probably be the best option, as we have a better understanding on their personality and their past. If it's a stranger, no clue what they are bringing into the bed.

I'm so comfortable in my relationship the idea of a gangbang turns me on. I'd have no problem with it, I'm positive my girlfriend is committed to me.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #13626250 - 12/13/10 02:20 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

You are holding a double standard that YOU need to get over.






I know it man. I totally see my immaturity about the whole situation. As "grown up" about the whole thing as she says we should be about it, I still cant help but get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about her with another guy...and now the image is burned into my brain. Even if we decide not to go through with it, the thought of her still secretly wanting somebody else remains, and honestly...I dont know how long this relationship could last with that insecurity.

I either need to man up and get over it somehow...or man up and start sticking it to her and her hot friends, hoping the day where I have to watch some dude stick it to her never comes.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinetymoteusz3M
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 7,691
Last seen: 46 minutes, 12 seconds
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus] * 2
    #13626806 - 12/13/10 04:39 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:


I know it man. I totally see my immaturity about the whole situation. As "grown up" about the whole thing as she says we should be about it, I still cant help but get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about her with another guy...and now the image is burned into my brain. Even if we decide not to go through with it, the thought of her still secretly wanting somebody else remains, and honestly...I dont know how long this relationship could last with that insecurity.

I either need to man up and get over it somehow...or man up and start sticking it to her and her hot friends, hoping the day where I have to watch some dude stick it to her never comes.




Your main problem is you are insecure about your relationship and until you come to terms with it, then you are headed for a doomed failure.

I used to be like this, pretty much the exact same scenario. Long story short that relationship didn't work out, a large part due to my insecurities. So I did some self looking, fixed the insecurity issues (remember you can have ANYONE, its them who need you not the other way around) and watched my insecurities disappear.

When I brought up the question for a threesome for my new girl and I, she was like "As long as we get to do it with a guy as well". So before I would have been like oh no. But now I was like hell yeah! :thumbup: A lot of fun sexual experiences can be had in three somes. And its actually kinda hot having a gang bang on your gf with another guy. Remember its ONLY sex, and if she is gonna leave you cause she thinks he is a better lover then LET her go, she isn't really worth that much anyways if she is THAT superficial. And if she is gonna leave you for that she is gonna leave you eventually anyways.

Some advice for a fun threesome?

- Lots of MDMA, but take a viagra as well. First time with another guy and my girl, we all took 6 pills, and no erection for either of us. What a bummer. MDMA makes girls and guys HORNY as fuck in the right settings. It really is the perfect threesome drug.

- Make a guidelines of Dos and Don't s before so that no one is left hurting once it has begun.
  (Stuff like use a condom for another girl / another guy use a condom, only finish in your girl, etc. Whatever you guys want)

- Yes it CAN wreck your relationship. Make sure you both are totally comfortable with the idea and totally secure.

- A mutual friend that you both are comfortable with is WAY better than a random stranger. Trust me. From experience. Random strangers 9 times out of 10 suck, are sketchy, perform for like 1 minute and then fall asleep, complain all night about how us having sex is keeping them up (but they are done and don't want to continue joining in), puke in the hotel room, try to steal your money, etc.
Also there is NOTHING sexier than talking with your girl about who you both want to fuck next :p

Threesomes :feelsgoodman:
however
Insecurity :feelsbadman:

haha

Also: Its not that she wants someone different than you. I bet she loves you and wouldn't trade you for anything. But she has a sex fantasy that involves more than one person (don't we all).
The fact that you want to have sex with another girl besides her doesn't mean you are tired of her anymore. It just means you want to act out a fantasy with her.


--------------------
There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K.

Dissociative Drug Resources
The Methoxetamine Chapters - The M Hole
Beautiful M Hole report by Wiccan_Seeker
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


Edited by tymoteusz3 (12/13/10 04:45 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinetymoteusz3M
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 7,691
Last seen: 46 minutes, 12 seconds
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: tymoteusz3]
    #13626836 - 12/13/10 04:46 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Ps I love these stupid frogs!!!

:feelshighman:


--------------------
There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K.

Dissociative Drug Resources
The Methoxetamine Chapters - The M Hole
Beautiful M Hole report by Wiccan_Seeker
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: tymoteusz3]
    #13627758 - 12/13/10 08:04 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

You know what they say "advice is something you allready know the answer to, but want to hear it from somebody else."

So after cooling down and thinking about it all day, I've decided let's do it. Worst case scenario, she's growing tired of me and wants to be with somebody else. Either way there's not much I can do about it, its going to happen eventually. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right? Not to mention having a girlfriend that talks her friends into having sex with you instead of the other way around isn't really a bad gig. As for the other dude...well I'm gonna be fuckin some chick in front of her, so if she can handle it I should try. I don't want to be selfish. If she went out of her way to be completely honest with me instead of just getting frustrated and cheating on me, well I guess that says a lot about our relationship and how much she cares about it.

Her and her best friend are out shopping right now who I guess hasn't been layed in awhile, sooo when they get back she wants me to screw her friend.

:shrug:


I guess there's an upside in this situation after all.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery

Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus] * 1
    #13630793 - 12/14/10 12:10 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

yes, you have a double standard.  it's immature and can you please stop saying "sticking it to her".

eww.


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinejoe666
The ReverendToke DBK
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/13/01
Posts: 18,362
Loc: Southern by grace of God Flag
Last seen: 11 hours, 29 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #13633260 - 12/14/10 08:25 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
yes, you have a double standard.  it's immature and can you please stop saying "sticking it to her".

eww.





yes, please start using drysmash her shitbox.


--------------------
"A politician is like a baby's diaper, it should be changed often and for the same reason"-Coy Turner Sr.

"what is a weed, a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered"--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I'm sippin Hennessy, riding on my muthafucking enemies" -Meek Mill.



Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #13641662 - 12/16/10 02:00 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

If you can't beat off and get off while fantasizing about your girl getting nailed by some other guy, I wouldn't recommend getting involved with group sex.  Otherwise it will always be the elephant in the room.  Looking at the time since your last post, though, it looks like it's a little too late for that.  So how did that work out anyway?  Did you bang her friend? 

That's awesome if she really set that up for you, she must want in to the lifestyle bad.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineScavengerType
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 5,755
Loc: The North
Last seen: 7 days, 11 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #13642912 - 12/16/10 06:25 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Oh come on it could also be a matter of having a friend in need. Besides it sounds like his GF is a lot more trusting and secure in the relationship than he is.


--------------------
"Have you ever seen what happens when a grenade goes off in a school? Do you really know what you’re doing when you order shock and awe? Are you prepared to kneel beside a dying soldier and tell him why he went to Iraq, or why he went to any war?"
"The things that are done in the name of the shareholder are, to me, as terrifying as the things that are done—dare I say it—in the name of God. Montesquieu said, "There have never been so many civil wars as in the Kingdom of God." And I begin to feel that’s true. The shareholder is the excuse for everything."
- Author and former M6/M5 agent John le Carré on Democracy Now.
Conquer's Club


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: ScavengerType]
    #13645714 - 12/17/10 05:39 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

ScavengerType said:
Oh come on it could also be a matter of having a friend in need. Besides it sounds like his GF is a lot more trusting and secure in the relationship than he is.




Definitely. No I didnt nail her friend either. I couldnt. I cant handle the thought of her with another man, and it wouldnt be fair to her if I could do that to another woman...but she cant. If I would have wanted that in the beginning or our relationship, she would have said hell no. I sacrificed a lot of my own sexuality to be with her and only her...to make it work out for both of us. I grew out of that. In my younger single days I was all for anything, but I gave that all up to be with her. To settle down. Thats what we wanted. 5 years. We were getting ready to get married, do the whole family thing. This was outa left field. Was not ready, or expecting it at all.

It got me thinking. I dont want to keep her from anything she wants to do. I cant just say no..and thats final. I feel she needs to. Whether I say no or not, thats not gonna stop her from wanting to. Im not really offended or jealous and trust her completely and love her with all my heart, but maybe we're not on the same page with where we are now, or where we want to be in the future. I suggested we take a few days off...give us time to think. Its been a very tough few days to say the least, but maybe for the better. That got me thinking even more. Im young, have no kids, no house payments, no car payments...the whole world is literally at my finger tips. Besides gas for the car/insurance and paying my phone bill....I have zero things tying me down. Maybe Im not ready to be a family man?

I figure if we are meant to be, it will happen. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow. As for now, Im going with the flow of life and things around me.

:heart:


--------------------


Edited by I_was_the_walrus (12/17/10 06:42 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #3

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? *DELETED* [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #13645867 - 12/17/10 07:34 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: nvm



Edited by Anonymous (12/17/10 07:42 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #13645894 - 12/17/10 07:57 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Oh its out there, and we are still talking 100%. I dont hide my feelings or anything from her, and I know she does the same. Its been 3 days of straight to the point, deep confession/conversation. Theres plenty to it on both ends, most of which I wont try to explain. Couple stuff I guess. Things that arent really anybodies business but our own. Ive just included that we are currently separated as an "update" of sorts to my original thread.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinegitranduhShutr
Stranger


Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 56
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #13646237 - 12/17/10 11:11 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

tell her she need buttseks from u then offer to let her wear a strap on and fuck you in the arse, it will definetly spice things up


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinenumonkei
Back! From thedigestive tractof dave theiguana!


Registered: 04/12/06
Posts: 2,473
Loc: A Tree
Last seen: 6 days, 6 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: gitranduhShutr]
    #13646401 - 12/17/10 12:06 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

We were talking about having an open minded sexual relationship. We want to come home to each other every night. We love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of our lives, but dont want things to end sour in sexual pitty/cheating...so maybe we should be adults and talk about it. Good idea. Try out new sexual adventures, but I cant help but think "new sexual adventures" means shes wantin some dude to stick it to her. Am I wrong?




Nope, you're dead on homie.

If you can't handle it, don't get any more involved. Good luck.



~Monk


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #4

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: numonkei]
    #13651142 - 12/18/10 12:25 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

I really want to have a threesome but I am convinced the only way it will work is if it's three people not involved with each other in a relationship. Or else if you're the stranger tagging along with a couple and can screw off after.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleHologram
BoxGobbler
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 16,793
Loc: Flag
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #13651552 - 12/18/10 02:06 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
You are holding a double standard that YOU need to get over.

.



dont listen to this nonsense

you are a man and u want to have another wwoman present.

find a bi chick or dont do it. fuck lettin some other dude stick it to ur girl


fuck that


--------------------



NEVER FORGET


seriously.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineShineonu
I used to trip like fuck!
Male

Registered: 12/20/10
Posts: 225
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Hologram]
    #13661552 - 12/20/10 06:15 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

If you love someone you wouldn't want to share. I cant think of anything worse than watching some guy fuck my girl, and equally I know she would feel the same, I don't get the swinging and threesomes and stuff, just not my cup of tea...

However, would have liked to have seen what it felt like when I was younger n more liberated to have two ladies munching on my nuts :smile:


--------------------
What I saw was everything that could never be described. My life, my world, everything was nothing, no fear no fun no enlightenment,space, colours, visions it all led to one place... inside and the answer I had always wanted. The answer is not there, 


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineFrostedFlake
Chitwan Man

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 6
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Hologram]
    #15015828 - 09/02/11 05:19 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

What's the point of having a threesome if your girl and her girlfriend are not bi? It would suck with any restrictions and what you could do with the other girl and no contact between the 2 girls. Think of it this way, if you were half a fag you would think it was hot to watch another dude pound your chick but since you aren't it's not. This feminist equality bs has fucked up people's heads man! It's natural and normal for both you and your gf to want a threesome with another chick, it most definately is not for either of you to want one with another guy. It is natural, through thousands of years of human evolution, for man to attempt to spread his seed and impregnate as many females as possible because it increased the chances that his genetic material would be passed on to the next generation due to a high mortality rate during childbirth. On the other hand, woman evolved to want to get the father of her child to commit to her so he was around to provide for her and protect her and her offspring to the point of sexual maturity from wild animals and shit for the very same reason, not to fuck as many dudes as possible! A guy feeling guilty about wanting to bang his girl's girlfriends is as messed up as a woman feeling guilty about wanting a guy to stick around and help her out after he gets her pregnant! Even though reproduction and protection are not immediately relevant to your situation or even the reason most modern day people usually fuck, you can't logically explain away evolutionary instinct. Since guns were invented chicks don't need a big strong man to protect them anymore but they are still attracted to taller guys with muscles, just like even if knocking up a chick is the last thing you want to do you are still attracted to the ones who exhibit physical traits which signal they are fertile. Female bisexuality evolved as a survival mechanism and a means for women to harmoniously co-exist with other women throughout the majority of history when men were frequently killed on hunts and in tribal warfare so their brothers or friends had to support and protect their widows even though they already had a woman. Heterosexual men's disgust and violent agression towards other males fucking their women evolved as a way to make sure they weren't wasting energy and resources on another male's offspring. Look at most other species on the planet, the alpha male fucks all the females and they don't get mad or consider it cheating and all the lesser males don't get any pussy at all. When a new alpha shows up he even kills the previous alpha and his offspring.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinetymoteusz3M
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 7,691
Last seen: 46 minutes, 12 seconds
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: FrostedFlake]
    #15016163 - 09/02/11 08:05 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Think of it this way, if you were half a fag you would think it was hot to watch another dude pound your chick but since you aren't it's not.




:freshwtf:


Edited by tymoteusz3 (09/02/11 08:05 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineHumility
Working on it
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,696
Last seen: 29 days, 13 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: tymoteusz3]
    #15018407 - 09/02/11 05:36 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

^LOL:coaster::lolwut:


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineunfoldedbrain
Stranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 307
Last seen: 1 month, 16 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Humility]
    #15020877 - 09/03/11 03:31 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
This is proof that when I'm tripping and realize that the whole universe is all connected and we are all one and everything happens for a reason and what I see is a projection of my thoughts, is true and I wasn't just tripping.
I have seriously been thinking about this same subject for days, if not weeks. But it's gotten more intense particularly today, and I was just thinking I should get others opinions I bet the shroomery people would have some interesting advice on the subject. So I go to the sex forum and what do you freakin know, I find this thread first thing.
I'm in a very similar situation with OP only I am Married, very recently. My wife is sometimes interested in the idea and has brought up the idea, but hasn't pushed, of also having another guy. I tend to be a realist and she tends to be just emotional and naive. So I asked how exactly it would work, she hadn't really thought that far ahead. So I kind of explained the whole tag team thing and "Thank God" the idea of another guy sounded like way to much and gross to her. But the idea of another girl was still somewhat intriguing. My only problem here is she can be a little insecure and has had some jealousy issues in the past, which she seems to be over. But I just worry that if she sees me "sticking it to another girl"(haha) she won't get over it and forever ask if she was prettier than her. But I don't know she seems to have matured a lot lately so it might work. I just told her I was down but I wouldn't push it and that if she wants it I'm in.
Here's the problem. We've been going out for 4 years and married for 4 month. Before she brought her little fantasy up I was seriously completely committed to her and only her. I would look at other hot women and be like "whatever" it was crazy, I've never been like that in my life. But now that she finds herself attracted to other women and the possibility of a three some I find myself checking out every hottie, I watched porn by myself(we've watched porn together for fun before) for the first time since we started going out it's crazy. I feel as horny as a teenager. I also think a huge part of this is that she's out of town and has been for a few weeks, so I'm here all sexually deprived. But at the same time she's been out of town before and I've never had this problem.
So I'm thinking we need to have a talk about what this is doing to me and I need some closure, either it's happening or it's never gonna happen so get over it. But I need something.

And yeah I kinda agree with the other guy who said you have to be just a little gay to enjoy having a threesome involving another dude. No offense to anyone who likes this, there's nothing wrong with being just a little gay.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: unfoldedbrain]
    #15023199 - 09/03/11 04:55 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

you guys should read the book "opening up" together.


the most important thing is to be completely open & honest about how your feeling.  i feel like hiding these feelings and urges is what ruins most monogamous relationships.


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineSubconscious
Stranger
Male


Registered: 09/19/08
Posts: 2,486
Last seen: 12 days, 18 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15023440 - 09/03/11 05:51 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Jealousy is strange; one minute you think you're over it and the next you're committing homicide.

Bringing this shit into a commited relationship sounds like a good way to end the relationship IMO.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 54 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Subconscious]
    #15023464 - 09/03/11 05:56 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I'd never do this.  It would kill me inside for sure.

And especially since you want to be with another woman, but don't want her to be with another man.  That's not very fair.

My suggestion is you find other things to spice up your sex  life without involving other people.  It'll inevitably lead to jealousy and heartache.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Subconscious]
    #15023480 - 09/03/11 05:59 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Subconscious said:
Jealousy is strange; one minute you think you're over it and the next you're committing homicide.

Bringing this shit into a commited relationship sounds like a good way to end the relationship IMO.





or maybe it will save it?  monogamy is not for everyone, ya know!


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineSubconscious
Stranger
Male


Registered: 09/19/08
Posts: 2,486
Last seen: 12 days, 18 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15023671 - 09/03/11 06:38 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Quote:

Subconscious said:
Jealousy is strange; one minute you think you're over it and the next you're committing homicide.

Bringing this shit into a commited relationship sounds like a good way to end the relationship IMO.





or maybe it will save it?  monogamy is not for everyone, ya know!




This dude already sounds insecure about the whole thing.

I'm aware some people can live this lifestyle, most can't.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Subconscious]
    #15023797 - 09/03/11 07:06 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

wait are we talking about OP or unfoldedbrain?


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: unfoldedbrain]
    #15023958 - 09/03/11 07:35 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

My suggestion is you find other things to spice up your sex  life without involving other people.  It'll inevitably lead to jealousy and heartache.




Different strokes for different folks.  Me and my wife are into group sex and we have been for many years now.  We started slowly, upping the ante over time.  It started just with her making out with girls, then same-room sex, her and the girl having sex in front of us, and finally, full-swap.  As we have gotten further into it, we are beginning to find that one of the main turn-ons is watching our partner perform with another.  Maybe we just respond to jealousy in a sexual kind of way or are just secure enough in our relationship that we know we love each other and no one else.  Either way, our sex life is the best it's ever been and just seems to keep getting better.

Quote:

unfoldedbrain said:
And yeah I kinda agree with the other guy who said you have to be just a little gay to enjoy having a threesome involving another dude. No offense to anyone who likes this, there's nothing wrong with being just a little gay.




So if I am into watching another guy railing my wife, that makes me gay?  Does it make you gay if you watch a porn involving a guy having sex with a girl or must you only watch straight-up lesbian porn to be considered straight?


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15024023 - 09/03/11 07:44 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

right on potheadbob, i salute you and your wife's non-monogamous lifestyle!


:highfive:


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15024099 - 09/03/11 07:53 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Thanks for your support, yogabunny.  :hatsoff:


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineunfoldedbrain
Stranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 307
Last seen: 1 month, 16 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15026170 - 09/04/11 04:27 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I think watching a video and being naked in the same room having sew with the same girl as another guy are two different things. I was actually thinking about this today. I took jealously and even my relationship out of the equation. I created a scenario where I was single and either two friends or two random people at a club or something(guy and girl) who were also not in a relationship wanted me to join a threesome with them. I really thought about it and I would not, I'm sorry but that's just where I fall on the Kinsey scale. I couldn't get aroused I couldn't focus I would get totally weirded out if he touched me at all. Sorry no offense at all to anyone who is into this, but I am not.
And yeah as far as it goes with me and my wife I'll admit it I really don't think I'd be able to handle it seeing some other guy fuck her. But we talked about this today. We decided that if we are  going to be more open in our love life that since we are married and committed to each other that we would both have to be not only ok with what we were doing but equally into it.  Lucky for me after lots of talking and me reassuring her that this wasn't just some ploy for me to get my cock in other women and that I really wanted "US" to explore our sexuality and that I would never leave her for whatever person we ended up doing it with, she admitted that she was actually very turned on by women and the idea of a threesome. Which I new all along because she told me this when she was drunk, that's when the truth comes out, then the fear sets in when your sober.
It's all about honesty, compete and total honesty is the key to a happy relationship. I think there are some many things that people are afraid to say to there partner because they fear the reaction. And trust me when I came clean about all the thoughts I've been having lately since she brought up the threesome, she wasn't happy she thought I wasn't satisfied with her or I would cheat on her when my band goes on tour(thats right we going on tour!) but the more open I got the more open she got and I feel like I got a whole new perspective on her and we reached this new level of trust and now the threesome might actually happen.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: unfoldedbrain]
    #15026619 - 09/04/11 10:00 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

I think watching a video and being naked in the same room having sew with the same girl as another guy are two different things.




Yes, they are different things, obviously.  The latter is more real of an experience.  However, your motivation for doing the two can be the same - enjoying watching two people have sex.  The added benefit would be that instead of just beating off to a porn, you get to actually have sex with the porn star or have her blow you while she's getting nailed.  Simply being naked in the same room as another guy doesn't make you gay.  Having sex in the same room doesn't make you gay, either.  Unless you're having sex with the guy or thinking about him while having sex.

Quote:

I couldn't get aroused I couldn't focus I would get totally weirded out if he touched me at all. Sorry no offense at all to anyone who is into this, but I am not.




Then don't touch each other.  It's not a requirement for it to be a threesome.

I'm not trying to convince you to have a threesome with a guy or a girl.  Do whatever floats your boat.  I'm just saying that you're wrong in thinking that you need to be at least a little bit gay in order to partake in an MMF threesome.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: unfoldedbrain]
    #15028719 - 09/04/11 06:14 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

unfoldedbrain said:
AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
This is proof that when I'm tripping and realize that the whole universe is all connected and we are all one and everything happens for a reason and what I see is a projection of my thoughts, is true and I wasn't just tripping.
I have seriously been thinking about this same subject for days, if not weeks. But it's gotten more intense particularly today, and I was just thinking I should get others opinions I bet the shroomery people would have some interesting advice on the subject. So I go to the sex forum and what do you freakin know, I find this thread first thing.

And yeah I kinda agree with the other guy who said you have to be just a little gay to enjoy having a threesome involving another dude. No offense to anyone who likes this, there's nothing wrong with being just a little gay.





This just happened to me too, only i had been dealing witht he fact of my girl acually dating(regularly)/fucking another guy, then after i got over that just today randomly i just thought what if me and this dude both f'd her at the same time as kind of like a handoff.

K heres the long story short. This girl wants to marry me..i think, were in different states. we keep in touch, (few months ago) i had a feeling she had a guy, wasnt sure, buit i did find out instead of her just telling me, i snapped, got homocidal. then calmed down...

she says im "stuck in the 50's" if i cant accept the fact that she wants to date or fuck whomever while im away because she cant see me, when in all honesty i would be doing the same with other girls so i dont know why i got so angry and jealous. i mean at the time and still now im single. but im thinking theyre serious and my jealusy wont break them up.. and she claims she loves both of us but im mr. right forever hes her now. thing...

i didnt really think about the gay thing but you make a good point idk though like i spent so many hours of fantasizing of beating this dudes ass, then i just got more calm about it till now its like  whne i see her again and we hook back up, she could have just been sucking his cok a few hours earlier... so like why not just us both fuck her and be cool, then i feel like i can get he rest of the hate i had for this dude of my chest... and her.. i called her a whore so much like some preacher its like to show her my bad im cool now i was thinking of tag teamin her with her old bf.. but this is the only case in which id ever have a 3 some with another guy, any other time fuck no... so idk how gay that is really....

and if we were already married or engaged and she wanted a 3 some with another guy id probably leave her:shrug:
im a scorpio i really expect complete loyalty or nothing but thats just me


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag]
    #15028744 - 09/04/11 06:19 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I dated a girl for about 2 years and we had an open relationship, it worked out really good and only improved our relationship. We are both bisexual though, so maybe that factors in to it.

We ended up breaking up because she became addicted to xanax. meh.


--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: LayinUp]
    #15028806 - 09/04/11 06:30 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

LayinUp said:
I dated a girl for about 2 years and we had an open relationship, it worked out really good and only improved our relationship. We are both bisexual though, so maybe that factors in to it.

We ended up breaking up because she became addicted to xanax. meh.





:sad:


it's insane how attached we are as a society to the idea of one girl + one guy.  to the point where, if you merely talk about having an open relationship or being non-monogamous, monogamous people take it as you slandering their choice to be in that type of a relationship.


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15028941 - 09/04/11 06:50 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Quote:

LayinUp said:
I dated a girl for about 2 years and we had an open relationship, it worked out really good and only improved our relationship. We are both bisexual though, so maybe that factors in to it.

We ended up breaking up because she became addicted to xanax. meh.





:sad:


it's insane how attached we are as a society to the idea of one girl + one guy.  to the point where, if you merely talk about having an open relationship or being non-monogamous, monogamous people take it as you slandering their choice to be in that type of a relationship.




@layin
yea acually im pretty sure my girl is bi and addicted to coke... idk how the hell this is supposed to work but so far im the one with the commitment issues


@yoga i hope you dont think im downing anyones relationship preferences i could care less what any one does, However I am not as capable as others may be to handle polygamy or open relationships, wish i was, it just doesnt sit well with me i could give a fuck less about what society has to say about damn near everything let alone relationships which is all a business scheme anyway...
i was thinkin a one time thing would take some of the tension of the ldr


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag] * 1
    #15028996 - 09/04/11 07:02 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

You have to stop viewing sex and other people as something that you have a right to posses - not speaking to anyone in particular, this is a general statement of my opinion.

Sex to me is the free exchange of energy, compassion, and love between people - regardless of being male or female. It's the purest form of healing and giving oneself is the most pure gift one can give.

To quote Aldous Huxley, "Everyone belongs to everyone."


--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 54 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: LayinUp]
    #15029009 - 09/04/11 07:04 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

LayinUp said:
To quote Aldous Huxley, "Everyone belongs to everyone."




In a dystopian horror society...


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag]
    #15029016 - 09/04/11 07:06 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

no, not at all.  just making a more general statement with regards to how deeply ingrained this pattern is in our society. 

so much so that a great deal of people react to non-monogamy in a holier-than-thou, discriminatory manner.  i.e. saying that it will NEVER work, and calling a straight dude "gay" for wanting to share his partner with another man, and other rash, uninformed judgements.  gender and sexuality are no longer quite so linear, so black & white, and as such alternatives to monogamy should be celebrated and accepted. 


there are plenty of healthy & happy non-monogamous, polyamorous, polyfidelitous relationships out there, but generally you don't hear about them because people are afraid to be judged and discriminated against.


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 54 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15029035 - 09/04/11 07:08 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I said it would never work in the OP's case.  He's already got so many second thoughts about his girlfriend sleeping with another man.  But he wants to sleep with other women.  So either he's just going to sleep with other women, and she won't sleep with men, in which case she'll probably leave.  It would be rather unfair.  And if he does let her sleep with other men, his insecurities will likely build.

Some people may be able to pull it off.  Good for them.  I can't, and I don't think the OP can.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: BothHands]
    #15029170 - 09/04/11 07:34 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

And you were right to assume. We broke up last december.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #15029184 - 09/04/11 07:36 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

sorry to hear it man. 

:sad:


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 54 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #15029213 - 09/04/11 07:43 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

:sad:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: BothHands]
    #15031411 - 09/05/11 09:48 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
no, not at all.  just making a more general statement with regards to how deeply ingrained this pattern is in our society. 

so much so that a great deal of people react to non-monogamy in a holier-than-thou, discriminatory manner. 




This is so true.  We are very guarded of who we will tell about the unorthodox nature of our relationship.  It's like people don't even want to think about it because they are so certain that they know what is "right" and what is "wrong".  So they are completely dismissive about doing things a different way.

It's like with the taboo surrounding drugs.  We actually talked a few times about drug use with a couple that we swinged with and they are very dismissive of that.  He asked me if there was LSD at Allgood when I was telling him about the trip, I said yes, and he was like "now that shit's hardcore.  That just fucks your brain up.  I'd never touch it."  He has a similar view on pot, saying how stupid he was when he was younger (like 2 or 3 years ago?) to have ever tried it.

It was surprising to me because these people obviously are at least a little open-minded.  I mean, they're bringing people in from outside of their marriage to have sex with them.  But still, they just dismiss something they don't understand because of what society thinks.  They don't even bother learning about it before passing judgement.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15031420 - 09/05/11 09:52 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

that's really interesting.


yeah, i have been exploring polyamory (mostly solo-poly) since last december and it's not as if im going around shouting from the rooftops.  some people i've told and they've reacted to me like i just told them i had cancer - like a kind of mixture of confusion & pity.


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #15031712 - 09/05/11 11:32 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

It's not easy being A LAID BACK EASY GOING HUMAN BEING.


--------------------


Escape the box.


Edited by LayinUp (09/05/11 07:51 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: LayinUp]
    #15033984 - 09/05/11 07:38 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

great input!!!  we're all really glad you wasted a minute of your life to share with us.


:rolleyes:


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15033994 - 09/05/11 07:41 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
great input!!!  we're all really glad you wasted a minute of your life to share with us.


:rolleyes:





?


--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: LayinUp]
    #15034007 - 09/05/11 07:44 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

if you want to elaborate, that would be cool, otherwise i don't particularly care to be called "easy" because i am exploring certain lifestyle choice that is outside the norm.


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15034033 - 09/05/11 07:50 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
if you want to elaborate, that would be cool, otherwise i don't particularly care to be called "easy" because i am exploring certain lifestyle choice that is outside the norm.




Being easy is just another way of saying easy going. Polyamory is the the embodiment of being easy going. Didn't mean for you to get butthurt about it.

Post edited to spare anymore butthurt.


--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: LayinUp]
    #15034102 - 09/05/11 08:02 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

woops, my bad, im not familiar with that slang. 

sorry to go on the defensive right off the bat.


:bunnypeace:


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15034297 - 09/05/11 08:35 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
woops, my bad, im not familiar with that slang. 

sorry to go on the defensive right off the bat.


:bunnypeace:




No, it's cool. My bad.


--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15034412 - 09/05/11 08:59 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

LayinUp said:
You have to stop viewing sex and other people as something that you have a right to posses - not speaking to anyone in particular, this is a general statement of my opinion.

Sex to me is the free exchange of energy, compassion, and love between people - regardless of being male or female. It's the purest form of healing and giving oneself is the most pure gift one can give.

To quote Aldous Huxley, "Everyone belongs to everyone."




  imo marraige puts a whole different spin on things, when youre young and want to experiment and not committed to anyone thats one thing... and when people most bring up 3 somes its for something fun new or exciting.. Ive had mff 3 somes, ddint get any healing out of it, mostly pleasure, healing comes from companionship imo one who shares with you both the pains and pleasures of life..and whatever other vows a couple may come up with is what determines the capacity of the relationship. Believe it or not people still do vow and hold true to their word on being committed to one partner..imo marraige was meant to be 'possesive'... its an individual thing for every individual couple but if some guy wants to give himself to my wife because she suggested it, he can do that as i give myself to another relationship...call me old fashioned..

so im not suprrised how ops turned out...

some people draw the love line at sex, some people cant love at all some people are addicted to love and sex... some guys gfs make them a steady income by means of guys 'giving' themselves to their gfs.... and sell the videos... sooo.......:shrug:


Quote:

yogabunny said:
woops, my bad, im not familiar with that slang. 

sorry to go on the defensive right off the bat.


:bunnypeace:





maybe he should had said easy going no pun intended.. :rolleyes:


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag]
    #15034552 - 09/05/11 09:24 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

healing comes from companionship imo one who shares with you both the pains and pleasures of life




If both you and your mate get pleasure from watching each other perform sexually, then you are sharing the pleasure of life with each other by having group sex with them.  It seems to be healthier to me than the alternative, which would be to stifle your mutual sexual desires in order to conform to what is considered the norm.

Quote:

imo marraige puts a whole different spin on things, when youre young and want to experiment and not committed to anyone thats one thing...




It may put a different spin on things, but not necessarily in the way you think.  If you're going to be swinging as a lifestyle, it takes stability between you and your partner, imo.  Marriage is generally a stabilizing force in a relationship, and so it may be a better time to experiment with your partner.

Either way, I committed to my wife before I married her.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag]
    #15034590 - 09/05/11 09:33 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

rockycrag said:
Quote:

LayinUp said:
You have to stop viewing sex and other people as something that you have a right to posses - not speaking to anyone in particular, this is a general statement of my opinion.

Sex to me is the free exchange of energy, compassion, and love between people - regardless of being male or female. It's the purest form of healing and giving oneself is the most pure gift one can give.

To quote Aldous Huxley, "Everyone belongs to everyone."




  imo marraige puts a whole different spin on things, when youre young and want to experiment and not committed to anyone thats one thing... and when people most bring up 3 somes its for something fun new or exciting.. Ive had mff 3 somes, ddint get any healing out of it, mostly pleasure, healing comes from companionship imo one who shares with you both the pains and pleasures of life..and whatever other vows a couple may come up with is what determines the capacity of the relationship. Believe it or not people still do vow and hold true to their word on being committed to one partner..imo marraige was meant to be 'possesive'... its an individual thing for every individual couple but if some guy wants to give himself to my wife because she suggested it, he can do that as i give myself to another relationship...call me old fashioned..

so im not suprrised how ops turned out...

some people draw the love line at sex, some people cant love at all some people are addicted to love and sex... some guys gfs make them a steady income by means of guys 'giving' themselves to their gfs.... and sell the videos... sooo.......:shrug:


Quote:

yogabunny said:
woops, my bad, im not familiar with that slang. 

sorry to go on the defensive right off the bat.


:bunnypeace:





maybe he should had said easy going no pun intended.. :rolleyes:



:lolsy:


--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineFrostedFlake
Chitwan Man

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 6
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: LayinUp]
    #15036189 - 09/06/11 04:05 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

BothHands said:
I'd never do this.  It would kill me inside for sure.

And especially since you want to be with another woman, but don't want her to be with another man.  That's not very fair.






You would have done it if it was your only option besides something else actually killing you. It's not very fair that as a man you don't get to experience giving birth either but that's the way mother nature made it. As a biology student you should understand gender more than anyone

Quote:

yogabunny said:
or maybe it will save it?  monogamy is not for everyone, ya know!




Right it's not for the male of the species

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
So if I am into watching another guy railing my wife, that makes me gay?  Does it make you gay if you watch a porn involving a guy having sex with a girl or must you only watch straight-up lesbian porn to be considered straight?




1) No that makes you heteroflexible
2) No but the less of the guy in the porn a heterosexual male sees the better so he can live vicariously through the male porn peformer. Lesbian porn would be better however

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
Quote:

I think watching a video and being naked in the same room having sew with the same girl as another guy are two different things.




Yes, they are different things, obviously.  The latter is more real of an experience.  However, your motivation for doing the two can be the same - enjoying watching two people have sex.  The added benefit would be that instead of just beating off to a porn, you get to actually have sex with the porn star or have her blow you while she's getting nailed.  Simply being naked in the same room as another guy doesn't make you gay.  Having sex in the same room doesn't make you gay, either.  Unless you're having sex with the guy or thinking about him while having sex.

Quote:

I couldn't get aroused I couldn't focus I would get totally weirded out if he touched me at all. Sorry no offense at all to anyone who is into this, but I am not.




Then don't touch each other.  It's not a requirement for it to be a threesome.

I'm not trying to convince you to have a threesome with a guy or a girl.  Do whatever floats your boat.  I'm just saying that you're wrong in thinking that you need to be at least a little bit gay in order to partake in an MMF threesome.




A heterosexual male's motivation for watching boy girl porn is not to enjoy watching two people have sex. He would have no interest in touching the porn star he beats off to anymore than he would prefer to use a public toilet instead of taking a dump in the comfort of his own home where he knows the toilet seat isn't going to give him a rash on his ass. Simply being naked in the same room with another guy doesn't make you gay but enjoying it makes you a little gay. Being turned on by looking at the other guy in the same room you are having sex with also makes you gay. You must be a heteroflexible cuckold beta male in order to have a mmf threesome with your wife, you just have to be a heteroflexible beta male to have a mmf threesome with a female who isn't your wife 
Quote:



LayinUp said:
I dated a girl for about 2 years and we had an open relationship, it worked out really good and only improved our relationship. We are both bisexual though, so maybe that factors in to it.





Maybe? Thank you for the empirical evidence


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineFrostedFlake
Chitwan Man

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 6
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15036261 - 09/06/11 04:51 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
so much so that a great deal of people react to non-monogamy in a holier-than-thou, discriminatory manner.  i.e. saying that it will NEVER work, and calling a straight dude "gay" for wanting to share his partner with another man, and other rash, uninformed judgements.  gender and sexuality are no longer quite so linear, so black & white, and as such alternatives to monogamy should be celebrated and accepted. 


there are plenty of healthy & happy non-monogamous, polyamorous, polyfidelitous relationships out there, but generally you don't hear about them because people are afraid to be judged and discriminated against.




It's unfortunate that while many homosexual males came out of the closet many more bi/heteroflexible males refuse to identify as such.

Quote:

I_was_the_walrus said:
And you were right to assume. We broke up last december.




Congratulations, you were not compatible. Don't waste anymore of your time with boring hetero girls who play mind games and only say they want to fuck another guy to stifle your male instinct but say it is to be even with you.

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
Quote:



If both you and your mate get pleasure from watching each other perform sexually, then you are sharing the pleasure of life with each other by having group sex with them.  It seems to be healthier to me than the alternative, which would be to stifle your mutual sexual desires in order to conform to what is considered the norm.




While quite natural for a bisexual woman to enjoy watching her husband
have sex with another woman she finds attractive it has been my experience that most women didn't really feel the same drive/urge as a man for variety and even felt degraded by having sex with another man in the name of poisonous commi/hippy equality. Their heterosexual husbands did not truely enjoy it either but felt the need for variety so strongly that they were willing to disgrace themselves by sharing or temporarily trading wives they had become bored with in order to achieve it


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: FrostedFlake]
    #15036766 - 09/06/11 09:16 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

1) No that makes you heteroflexible
2) No but the less of the guy in the porn a heterosexual male sees the better so he can live vicariously through the male porn peformer. Lesbian porn would be better however




You think you know what you're talking about.  That much is clear.  But believe me, you don't.  I don't get off in the slightest looking at the guy, or thinking about being naked in the room with him, or thinking about touching him.  Therefore, not gay.

Quote:

A heterosexual male's motivation for watching boy girl porn is not to enjoy watching two people have sex. He would have no interest in touching the porn star he beats off to




Thanks for clearing up what must turn a person on when they watch porn.  I mean seriously, dude, do you actually believe this bull-shit you spout?  You think you can sum up the thoughts and intentions of the entire human race in one little quip?

Quote:

It's unfortunate that while many homosexual males came out of the closet many more bi/heteroflexible males refuse to identify as such.




It's unfortunate that you try to convince people that they are someone they aren't.  You are just as bad as people that say that homosexuality is a choice and that they need to reform.  I'm sure you actually believe that, too, as homosexuality doesn't jibe with your alpha/beta male, populate-the-earth, archaic view of the human species.

Quote:

You must be a heteroflexible cuckold beta male in order to have a mmf threesome with your wife, you just have to be a heteroflexible beta male to have a mmf threesome with a female who isn't your wife




You didn't wake up and kill a gazelle to feed your tribe today.  Stop acting like we are living in the second ice age with this alpha/beta male bullshit.

Quote:

While quite natural for a bisexual woman to enjoy watching her husband have sex with another woman she finds attractive it has been my experience that most women didn't really feel the same drive/urge as a man for variety and even felt degraded by having sex with another man in the name of poisonous commi/hippy equality. Their heterosexual husbands did not truely enjoy it either but felt the need for variety so strongly that they were willing to disgrace themselves by sharing or temporarily trading wives they had become bored with in order to achieve it




My experience has been the exact opposite of your experience.  Perhaps you need to reassess your theory.  It has some gaping holes in it.

You know, I was thinking about this topic again last night and how some posters on here seem to believe that non-monogamous relationships are wrong and not the norm and what not.  I've been trying to explain otherwise, but I gotta say, I'm actually glad there are people out there that think that.  Because one of the things that really gets me and my wife off about swapping partners is the fact that it is "wrong".  That's what makes it kinky for us.  We probably wouldn't be as interested in it if it weren't considered to be "abnormal".  It's like the forbidden fruit.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #5

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob] * 1
    #15036894 - 09/06/11 10:08 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

FrostedFlake sure has a lot to say for a new guy. TOO much to say in my opinion. Why don't you stop trolling.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinegluke bastid
Stinky Bum
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/21/00
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Charm City
Last seen: 2 hours, 12 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: FrostedFlake] * 1
    #15036930 - 09/06/11 10:20 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

FrostedFlake said:
It's natural and normal for both you and your gf to want a threesome with another chick, it most definately is not for either of you to want one with another guy. It is natural, through thousands of years of human evolution, for man to attempt to spread his seed and impregnate as many females as possible because it increased the chances that his genetic material would be passed on to the next generation due to a high mortality rate during childbirth. On the other hand, woman evolved to want to get the father of her child to commit to her so he was around to provide for her and protect her and her offspring to the point of sexual maturity from wild animals and shit for the very same reason, not to fuck as many dudes as possible!




What a mountain of bullshit. Where do you get this stuff?


--------------------
:hst:
Society in every form is a blessing,
but government at its best is but a necessary evil
 
- Thomas Paine


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: gluke bastid]
    #15036960 - 09/06/11 10:29 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

It appears as though he watched a Discovery channel documentary on the social structure of packs of lions or chimpanzees and just applied that to humans.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinegluke bastid
Stinky Bum
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/21/00
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Charm City
Last seen: 2 hours, 12 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15036997 - 09/06/11 10:42 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
It appears as though he watched a Discovery channel documentary on the social structure of packs of lions or chimpanzees and just applied that to humans.




Had he even done as much as that he would know that in the mammal kingdom the norm is for a female to mate with more than one male in her lifetime.

I recommend the book "The Myth of Monogamy"


--------------------
:hst:
Society in every form is a blessing,
but government at its best is but a necessary evil
 
- Thomas Paine


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: gluke bastid]
    #15037084 - 09/06/11 11:13 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I wasn't aware of that.  Seemed to me it would be easier for the male to spread his seed around since he doesn't have the period of pregnancy to wait for.  I was really making that comment with his alpha/beta male spiel in mind as if it somehow translates from lions to humans. 

I checked out that book on Amazon and it looks very interesting from the description and reviews.  I may just have to order it in the near future.  Thanks for the suggestion.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinegluke bastid
Stinky Bum
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/21/00
Posts: 3,243
Loc: Charm City
Last seen: 2 hours, 12 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15037100 - 09/06/11 11:18 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
I wasn't aware of that.  Seemed to me it would be easier for the male to spread his seed around since he doesn't have the period of pregnancy to wait for.  I was really making that comment with his alpha/beta male spiel in mind as if it somehow translates from lions to humans. 

I checked out that book on Amazon and it looks very interesting from the description and reviews.  I may just have to order it in the near future.  Thanks for the suggestion.




No problem! It's quite good...really does shatter the illusion that either men or women are pre-disposed mating with a single partner for life. Even though many mammal species including humans typically do choose a "life partner," it is the exception for both men and women to mate exclusively with this partner.

The great part is that the book is written by biologists, not psychologists, and they've really really done their research.


--------------------
:hst:
Society in every form is a blessing,
but government at its best is but a necessary evil
 
- Thomas Paine


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 54 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: FrostedFlake]
    #15037419 - 09/06/11 01:00 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

FrostedFlake said:
Quote:

BothHands said:
I'd never do this.  It would kill me inside for sure.

And especially since you want to be with another woman, but don't want her to be with another man.  That's not very fair.






You would have done it if it was your only option besides something else actually killing you. It's not very fair that as a man you don't get to experience giving birth either but that's the way mother nature made it. As a biology student you should understand gender more than anyone





:lolwut:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: gluke bastid]
    #15037443 - 09/06/11 01:05 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

gluke bastid said:
Quote:

FrostedFlake said:
It's natural and normal for both you and your gf to want a threesome with another chick, it most definately is not for either of you to want one with another guy. It is natural, through thousands of years of human evolution, for man to attempt to spread his seed and impregnate as many females as possible because it increased the chances that his genetic material would be passed on to the next generation due to a high mortality rate during childbirth. On the other hand, woman evolved to want to get the father of her child to commit to her so he was around to provide for her and protect her and her offspring to the point of sexual maturity from wild animals and shit for the very same reason, not to fuck as many dudes as possible!




What a mountain of bullshit. Where do you get this stuff?




--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 17,709
Loc: city of angels Flag
Last seen: 2 days, 21 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: gluke bastid]
    #15037624 - 09/06/11 01:35 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Cool thread here.  I've had a partner in the past who was highly sexual and probably would have liked to see
me to get on board with the idea of a three some (she had engaged in one or two just prior to our relationship).
I never did pursue one, which never seemed an issue for her.  In fact, despite her sexual freedom, my intrigue
with mind altering substances was quite a problem for her.


Anyway, since you started talking books, I am reminded of one I recently came across called Bonobo Handshake:

Quote:


In 2005, Vanessa Woods accepted a marriage proposal from a man she barely knew
and agreed to join him on a research trip to the war-torn Democratic Republic of Congo.
Settling in at a bonobo sanctuary in Congo’s capital, Vanessa and her fiancé entered the
world of a rare ape with whom we share 98.7% of our DNA. Vanessa soon discovered
that bonobos live in a peaceful society in which females are in charge, war is nonexistent,
and sex is as common and friendly as a handshake.







Intellectually, I can accept and am indeed intrigued by polygamy.  Emotionally, I'm not quite there and honestly don't
know if I ever will be or even want to be.  Perhaps I need to bite the bullet and buy a copy of Bonobo Handshake! :wink:


From Wikipedia on Bonobos:
Quote:


Sexual social behavior

Sexual intercourse plays a major role in bonobo society observed in captivity, being used as what some
scientists perceive as a greeting, a means of forming social bonds, a means of conflict resolution, and
post-conflict reconciliation. Bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all
of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital sex (although a pair of Western Gorillas has been
photographed performing face-to-face genital sex[38]), tongue kissing, and oral sex.[39] In scientific
literature, the female-female behavior of touching genitals together is often referred to as GG rubbing or
genital-genital rubbing. The sexual activity happens within the immediate community and sometimes
outside of it. Bonobos do not form permanent monogamous sexual relationships with individual partners.
They also do not seem to discriminate in their sexual behavior by sex or age, with the possible exception of
abstaining from sexual intercourse between mothers and their adult sons. When bonobos come upon a new
food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity,
presumably decreasing tension and encouraging peaceful feeding.[40]

Group of Bonobos

Bonobo males occasionally engage in various forms of male-male genital behavior.[41][42] In one form,
two males hang from a tree limb face-to-face while "penis fencing".[43][44] This also may occur when two
males rub their penises together while in face-to-face position. Another form of genital interaction, called
"rump rubbing", occurs to express reconciliation between two males after a conflict, when they stand
back-to-back and rub their scrotal sacs together. Takayoshi Kano observed similar practices among
bonobos in the natural habitat.

Bonobo females also engage in female-female genital behavior, possibly to bond socially with each other,
thus forming a female nucleus of bonobo society. The bonding among females enables them to dominate
bonobo society. Although male bonobos are individually stronger, they cannot stand alone against a united
group of females.[44] Adolescent females often leave their native community to join another community.
Sexual bonding with other females establishes these new females as members of the group. This migration
mixes the bonobo gene pools, providing genetic diversity.

Bonobo reproductive rates are not any higher than those of the common chimpanzee.[40] Female bonobos
carry and nurse their young for five years and can give birth every five to six years. Compared to common
chimpanzees, bonobo females resume the genital swelling cycle much sooner after giving birth, enabling
them to rejoin the sexual activities of their society. Also, bonobo females who are sterile or too young to
reproduce still engage in sexual activity.




--------------------

--------------------
··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleLayinUp
Faith
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,922
Loc: Inside the mycelium
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: geokills]
    #15037917 - 09/06/11 02:49 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Very well presented information. Thanks.


--------------------


Escape the box.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineLeenguy
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 372
Last seen: 1 day, 18 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: LayinUp]
    #15038398 - 09/06/11 04:46 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

u mad?


--------------------
I N T E R P L A N E T A R Y  V I B R A T I O N S


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15039386 - 09/06/11 08:26 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
  If both you and your mate get pleasure from watching each other perform sexually, then you are sharing the pleasure of life with each other by having group sex with them.  It seems to be healthier to me than the alternative, which would be to stifle your mutual sexual desires in order to conform to what is considered the norm.




I hear you, but my point is...i wouldnt get any pleasure from watching my wife fuck another guy under any circumstances. maybe some would, but i wouldnt. period. not because its 'wrong' or 'taboo'.. but because it would be a waste of my time with that person. which is why my wife would have the same pov on what marraige is as id do...of course..



Quote:


It may put a different spin on things, but not necessarily in the way you think.  If you're going to be swinging as a lifestyle, it takes stability between you and your partner, imo.  Marriage is generally a stabilizing force in a relationship, and so it may be a better time to experiment with your partner.

Either way, I committed to my wife before I married her.





right, as ive said before individual relationships/marragies will have individual vows. no couple vows the same things... and most people do commit to their spuses before marraige, hence the engagment ring..






Quote:

geokills said:Intellectually, I can accept and am indeed intrigued by polygamy.  Emotionally, I'm not quite there and honestly don't
know if I ever will be or even want to be.






ditto.


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblegreys
Mushroom Dork
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 37,370
Loc: nunya
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15040057 - 09/06/11 10:58 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Multiple partner relationships have a lot of loose ends. How did your open relationship thing work out?:macdre:


--------------------
Ask a Lying Douchebag


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag]
    #15041308 - 09/07/11 08:14 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
  If both you and your mate get pleasure from watching each other perform sexually, then you are sharing the pleasure of life with each other by having group sex with them.  It seems to be healthier to me than the alternative, which would be to stifle your mutual sexual desires in order to conform to what is considered the norm.



I hear you, but my point is...i wouldnt get any pleasure from watching my wife fuck another guy under any circumstances. maybe some would, but i wouldnt. period. not because its 'wrong' or 'taboo'.. but because it would be a waste of my time with that person. which is why my wife would have the same pov on what marraige is as id do...of course..




I wasn't talking about what you would do, specifically.  I was talking, in general, in response to this statement you made:

Quote:

healing comes from companionship imo one who shares with you both the pains and pleasures of life




A couple can share the act of group sex and get pleasure from that act just as they could share the act of sex with only each other for pleasure.

Make no mistake, I'm not trying to convince you to try out group sex.  Do whatever works for you.  I'm just saying there's nothing inherently wrong with the act.  It doesn't necessarily make for a bad relationship or marriage and doesn't necessarily lead you down a road of hurt feelings and irrevocable damages.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15041507 - 09/07/11 09:51 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

pothead_bob said:
Quote:


Make no mistake, I'm not trying to convince you to try out group sex.  Do whatever works for you.  I'm just saying there's nothing inherently wrong with the act.  It doesn't necessarily make for a bad relationship or marriage and doesn't necessarily lead you down a road of hurt feelings and irrevocable damages.




yea non mistaken here again i never said anything was wrong with it either, and for me it would lead to a road of hurt and irrevocable damages because i am not capable of such a relationship and i know im not the only one look @ how OP's ended..it was only suggested...thats all im saying...


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Edited by rockycrag (09/07/11 09:57 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleyogabunnyM
cat herder
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: greys]
    #15048918 - 09/08/11 05:49 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

greysRDbest said:
Multiple partner relationships have a lot of loose ends. How did your open relationship thing work out?:macdre:





it didn't work out due to distance issues, but we are still really good friends.


:happyheart:


--------------------
तत् त्वम् असि


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineunfoldedbrain
Stranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 307
Last seen: 1 month, 16 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: yogabunny]
    #15049938 - 09/08/11 09:21 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Yeah good question. To all those who have open relationships, what ever exactly that means to your situation, how has/is it working out? That is my one fear here. I love my wife and I would trade any amount of sexual freedom to have a long happy marriage. On the other hand, I feel like this could work out for us if we set the proper ground rules. I think it would be awesome if it works, my wife seems to agree.
So what have your experiences been?


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? *DELETED* [Re: unfoldedbrain]
    #15050069 - 09/08/11 09:42 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by rockycrag

Reason for deletion: .



--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineunfoldedbrain
Stranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 307
Last seen: 1 month, 16 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag]
    #15051292 - 09/09/11 02:28 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Wait if you all live separate lives and see other people then what exactly is cheating?


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: unfoldedbrain]
    #15051831 - 09/09/11 07:38 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

itd be a few years l8r when were under one roof, likei said, a relationship outside of that.


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: unfoldedbrain]
    #15052388 - 09/09/11 11:26 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

To all those who have open relationships, what ever exactly that means to your situation, how has/is it working out?




We only swing together.  That doesn't mean we won't do stuff in separate rooms, but it means we pick the couple together and get to know them together.  We don't go out alone on the prowl looking for someone to have sex with.

We only do it for sexual gratification.  I don't have the time or interest in taking it any further than that.  I love my wife and that's enough for me in that department.  She feels the same as I.  I feel like setting up micro-management rules beyond that (i.e. no oral, no kissing in certain areas, no saying certain things) puts a damper on the activities and sets you up for hurt feelings.  It should just be about having fun and doing what feels right, but to each their own.

As for the experiences, we had a blast.  I didn't realize how into it my wife was at first.  She was kind of reserved, saying she didn't think that she could handle seeing me have sex with someone else.  Then she gave me mixed feelings about it.  Then one time with a new couple, we just did a swap.  She seemed to enjoy it and told me how much she loved watching me fuck in front of her afterwards.

It's been a while since we did anything (over a year) due our recent circumstances, but it's been building lately.  We've been trying to hang out with the couple we did it with last, but they've been flaking out a lot.  I think one of them lost interest, so looks like we might be moving on.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15052998 - 09/09/11 02:40 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I think one of the biggest hurdles for me would be the setting of rules. The whole "you cant say this or do that", all to protect your feelings/insecurities...when in reality, giving her these rules wont change her as a person. She still want to do those things. Youre just restricting her. Holding her back. In the long run, isnt that the point of an open relationship? To be open and accepting of your partners sexuality? Seems hypocritical to me... Youre not being fully open and accepting. Youre just toying with eachothers sexual urges and molding it around your own needs.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #15053249 - 09/09/11 03:47 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

i think he meant ground rules about the relationship with the outside partner/couple, that is understandable,  " no kissing or saying this that here" sounds just fucking dumb imo sry but i dont think thats what he meant.


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Edited by rockycrag (09/09/11 03:53 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #15053378 - 09/09/11 04:18 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The whole "you cant say this or do that", all to protect your feelings/insecurities...when in reality, giving her these rules wont change her as a person.




Yes, that's exactly my point.  You're having group sex to enjoy it.  So do whatever feels right and have fun, imo.  If you feel jealous of something ur partner might do, then perhaps you shouldn't be traveling down that road.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDr Cid
Boss


Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 357
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15053871 - 09/09/11 05:54 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

It's sounds kinda risky because you make it sound risky. From what I read it could either be awesome or just come back to haunt you. I think it's important you talked to her about all this before hand.

One way to look at it is that she's obviously considered 3-somes... therefore she wants to explore more. Might as well explore with her before she decides she wants a different life.

As long as you guys love each other you shouldn't worry about 'setting rules'. There are so many different types of relationships. As long as you guys are honest and don't hide things from each other you should be fine. Love is all you need.

Still, I don't know you guys so it all depends.

If you are the slightest worried about losing her why risk it?? But hey you only live once so as long as everything feels right fuck away...


--------------------



Different is the new normal


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDr Cid
Boss


Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 357
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Dr Cid]
    #15053883 - 09/09/11 05:56 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Also you might wanna consider picking up a stranger from a bar or something for a 3-some... That way you don't have to worry about seeing them again


--------------------



Different is the new normal


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Dr Cid]
    #15055265 - 09/09/11 10:02 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Are u talkin to me?


Also, I feel like chances are higher of getting a friend into bed than a stranger.  That, and girls usually need to be comfortable with each other to do sexual things with one another, so a random stranger might not work out so good, imo.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15055448 - 09/09/11 10:36 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

i honestly dont know whos talking to who, but it seems like theres no right or wrong answer on something like this. its either go for it or dont anything in between is probably going to end up as waste.


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDr Cid
Boss


Registered: 05/09/11
Posts: 357
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: rockycrag]
    #15055797 - 09/09/11 11:47 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Dude idk I'm tripping balls


--------------------



Different is the new normal


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinepothead_bob
Resident Pothead
Male


Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 1,797
Loc: Your computer screen
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Dr Cid]
    #15055893 - 09/10/11 12:06 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

u know what goes great with trippin' balls?  A threesome with two sexy women.


--------------------
No knowledge can be certain, if it is not based
upon mathematics or upon some other knowledge
which is itself based upon the mathematical
sciences.
  -Leonardo da Vinci (1425-1519)

Speak well of your enemies.  After all, you made them.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 8,848
Loc: next door
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: pothead_bob]
    #15056494 - 09/10/11 03:40 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Putting borders on an open relatoinship is like posting a speed limit in a car race. It just doesnt make sense to me.

"Yeah we're totally doing this!! Its gonna be awesome!!....but keep it under 50"

"But I wanna go faster!!"

"Too bad."


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblerockycrag
danger

Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 134
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #15056889 - 09/10/11 08:16 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

even better a good ol fashioned orgy:thumbup:


--------------------
A falling leaf does not hate the wind.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #6

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #17302791 - 11/29/12 02:10 PM (5 months, 18 days ago)

deleted, sorry didn't look at date


Edited by Anonymous (11/29/12 04:15 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #6

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #17302805 - 11/29/12 02:15 PM (5 months, 18 days ago)

deleted, sorry didn't look at date


Edited by Anonymous (11/29/12 04:16 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineamilibertine
Midwest Myconaught
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/10/09
Posts: 2,578
Loc: Midwest, USA Flag
Last seen: 7 days, 18 hours
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #17303105 - 11/29/12 03:20 PM (5 months, 18 days ago)

Dude, this thread was made almost 2 years ago.


Why the hell did you bump it?


OP and the girl he was talking about are long since broken up.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #6

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: amilibertine]
    #17303262 - 11/29/12 03:44 PM (5 months, 18 days ago)

Quote:

amilibertine said:
Dude, this thread was made almost 2 years ago.


Why the hell did you bump it?


OP and the girl he was talking about are long since broken up.




Sorry, I fucked it up, guess my status "sober" is not really true :laugh:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBothHands
Dog Coffee
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 13,055
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 days, 54 minutes
Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: amilibertine]
    #17303403 - 11/29/12 04:10 PM (5 months, 18 days ago)

Quote:

amilibertine said:
Dude, this thread was made almost 2 years ago.


Why the hell did you bump it?





Cuse he wanted to brag about his threesome :hehehe:


--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #6

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: BothHands]
    #17303454 - 11/29/12 04:18 PM (5 months, 18 days ago)

not at all, there's no need to impress people that don't even live on the same continent.

Just wanted to give my 2 cents about being ready for stuff like that.

Deleted & made anonymous to give no more reasons for pathetic assumptions :smile:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #7

Re: The dos and donts of a relationship 3-some? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #17307500 - 11/30/12 08:59 AM (5 months, 18 days ago)

What coincidental timing. I read this thread and my gf brought the idea up an hour later. Not sure how I feel :/


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5  [ show all ]

Amazon Shop for: Aldous Huxley, Buttseks, Scales

Community >> Sexuality and Relationships

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* How do I overcome sexual paranoia? How have YOU overcome it?
( 1 2 all )
Anonymous 1,092 20 04/08/12 12:36 PM
by Anonymous
* Most Valuable Lesson Learned from Past Relationships?
( 1 2 3 all )
The SchoolZone 1,310 49 11/21/12 07:59 PM
by EvolveShrooms
* I'm really convinced that a monogamous relationship is nearly impossible to come by these days..
( 1 2 3 all )
PowerTrip 2,383 58 08/28/10 12:29 PM
by AnimaSoulBlue
* Reflection of human maliable sexuality
Lennyk
630 1 05/05/11 04:41 AM
by AlphaFalfa
* Why be in a relationship?
( 1 2 all )
TrustYourSelf 974 30 05/09/11 10:52 PM
by EdgeChaos
* Im an insecure, sexually dysfunctional, alcoholic wreck who needs advice Anonymous 1,431 13 03/15/11 08:24 PM
by Azurascender
* Your unfulfilled sexual fantasy?
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )
Bodhi of Ankou 1,644 103 10/17/12 03:44 AM
by moonrockmushy
* Well thats it...5 year relationship down the drain, rant time. I_was_the_walrus 852 10 12/27/10 11:05 PM
by meams

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: boO, Acidic_Sloth, ZippoZ, automan, sadsappysucker, CureCat, yogabunny
3,439 topic views. 7 members, 44 guests and 0 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:
World Seed Supply
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2013 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.405 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 18 queries.