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Anonymous #1
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 I feel really bad about this. 
#12955323 - 07/26/10 02:19 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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So about 5 years back it started. I had been friends with matthew since 1st grade. We were ending high school and I had been doing drugs since 8th grade. Finnally after much protest over the years I got him to try weed. He LOVED it. I showed him the culture and hooked him up with dealers. Soon we quit hanging out and thats all he did. Long story short now he is going to rehab for a heroin addiction. I feel responsible for this because he wouldnt have done weed if I never got him too. He only did it because he trustd me. He bured all of his inheritence and cant hold a job. I am payig for his rehab though.
Any thoughts?
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#12955337 - 07/26/10 02:22 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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some people shouldnt try heroin
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Anonymous #3
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#12955339 - 07/26/10 02:23 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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you didnt introduce him to heroin. you are doing the right thing helping him with rehab though, like a good friend. it wasnt your fault.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #3]
#12955354 - 07/26/10 02:26 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
you didnt introduce him to heroin. you are doing the right thing helping him with rehab though, like a good friend. it wasnt your fault.
Yeah thats what I thought but then he would have never been in the culture if I had never shown him and given him dealers.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#12955362 - 07/26/10 02:28 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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hes a grown up, i deal with people in the coke n pill thug scene but you dont see me on south broadway holdin my dick.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#12955820 - 07/26/10 03:56 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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if you give a monkey a gun and it shoots itself in the face, is it your fault?
no
once you gave it the gun, your involvment ended. whatever may ensue afterwards has nothing to do with you sir.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #4]
#12955882 - 07/26/10 04:09 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said:
if you give a monkey a gun and it shoots itself in the face, is it your fault?
no
once you gave it the gun, your involvment ended. whatever may ensue afterwards has nothing to do with you sir.
wtf??????????? the answer to that question is YES, yes it is your fault if you give a monkey a gun and they shoot themselves.
The OP should realise that life is a fuckload of events and he hasnt the power to completly ruin someone life. he led him small way down a path but that where it ended, many other people took up the reigns and led him elsewhere and he was willing to be led.
so yea, you may have given him the gun but traded that gun for a rifle and then traded that in for a shotgun which he upgraded to a pump action which he upgraded to a cannon which he stuck his head in and lit the fuse. he certianly did not use your gun to blow his own face off.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #5]
#12955927 - 07/26/10 04:20 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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no it was still not his fault. if you give the monkey a gun it can do many things like kill hipsters. the monkey chooses what to do with the gun.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #3]
#12956091 - 07/26/10 04:53 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
the monkey chooses what to do with the gun.
exactly my point.
you didn't make the decisions that led your friend to do heroin and fuck HIS OWN life up. he did. HE choose to keep smoking pot. HE choose to try more drugs. HE choose to keep going. if you were to get blamed for his fuck up with heroin, it would like be saying this:
"hey, i know that i havent seem you in five years, but all of those things i did during those five years is your fault, because a long time ago you gave me weed. obviously at that moment, you had already planned out everything that would happen over the next five years, and it was because of you that i made all of the choices that i did."
complete BULLSHIT. people need to take responsibility for themselves. hes lucky that you were kind enough to bail him out and pay for his rehab. don't blame yourself for any of it.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #5]
#12956141 - 07/26/10 05:02 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #5 said:
so yea, you may have given him the gun but traded that gun for a rifle and then traded that in for a shotgun which he upgraded to a pump action which he upgraded to a cannon which he stuck his head in and lit the fuse. he certianly did not use your gun to blow his own face off.
The way I see it, it's more like OP gave his friend a nice, big, shiny new Super Soaker, then he went and traded it for heroin.
Still, good on you OP for being there for a friend in need. Good luck.
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Anonymous #7
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#12956250 - 07/26/10 05:21 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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It's not your fault, he probably went all out after high school because he didn't do shit during high school. That's why I always laughed at the sqaures, because I knew where they were heading towards after high school. 
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Anonymous #5
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #3]
#12956344 - 07/26/10 05:37 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
no it was still not his fault. if you give the monkey a gun it can do many things like kill hipsters. the monkey chooses what to do with the gun.
A monkey has no idea what a gun is nor does he have any experince of what it can do and the consequences of those actions. The person giving the monkey the gun does know all these things so if the monkey blows his own brains out its not because he chose to do that, he simply had no idea what he was doing.
So in this example one could not absolve himself of all responsibility by walking away, hed have to show the monkey what the gun can do, show him how to use it responsibly and explain to him the consequences of using the gun.
But since a monkey cannot understand english and does not have the ability to comprehend things as we would giving a monkey a gun is irresponsible and all you are is a fucking monkey killer.
See, see what you did, you fucking monkey murderer?
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Anonymous #8
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #5]
#12956761 - 07/26/10 06:53 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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oh god op it is not your fault. blame dare, their fucking drug propaganda, and lack of solid education provided for the youth. no wonder there are junkies.
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Anonymous #9
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #8]
#12960734 - 07/27/10 12:25 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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It's not you fault OP, grow a pair and don't pay for his rehab... did you put the heroin into him? or even the weedsmoke? everything an individual does is 100% their own decision.
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Anonymous #10
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #9]
#12961121 - 07/27/10 02:08 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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give the monkey a gun and he shoots someone, step by step and move by move, you are a facilitator
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Anonymous #11
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tl;dr
OP, don't give marijuana to monkeys or they might shoot themselves, hipsters, or heroin.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #9]
#12965272 - 07/28/10 05:48 AM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said:
It's not you fault OP, grow a pair and don't pay for his rehab... did you put the heroin into him? or even the weedsmoke? everything an individual does is 100% their own decision.
Also the OPS self loathing and guilt that make him pay for rehab is actually having the opposite effect as he is an 'enabler'
Extract from random google search on it:
Sometimes enabling takes the form of doing something for another that they should do for themselves. It also takes the form of making excuses for someone else’s behavior (example), There are situations where the spouse of an alcoholic will call in to the boss to say that person is “sick”, when they are really too hung over they can’t make it to work.
You more than likely enable out of your own low self-esteem. You haven’t gained the ability to say no, without fear of losing the love or caring of that other person. People who learn tough love have to learn that their former behaviors have been enabling and that to continue in them would represent allowing the other person’s pattern of behavior to continue and to worsen.
It is difficult to stop enabling if you’re trying to do it with all authority. And it’s not easy until you know you deserve to stop. Until you know that you are endearing regardless of what the person you’ve previously enabled says to the contrary until you raise your own self-esteem enough to be that strong. You may think it’s the other person who needs all of the help, in truth, you both do.
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Anonymous #12
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#12969969 - 07/29/10 02:07 AM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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OP, are you a male or female?
Maybe things will be on the right track when he gets out of rehab.
It sounds like youre blaming yourself for not hanging out with him as much. like it had something to do with his DOC change.
think of this though. Would you have had him try it first with anyone else? dont be insecure
BTW, his money is just that. his money. I'm sure he will have a different perspective on it when he gets out of rehab and somebody tells him how much hes lost.
Is this his first time thru rehab?
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Anonymous #9
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Quote:
Anonymous #10 said:
give the monkey a gun and he shoots someone, step by step and move by move, you are a facilitator
shut the fuck up.
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Anonymous #7
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #9]
#12971504 - 07/29/10 02:00 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #10 said:
give the monkey a gun and he shoots someone, step by step and move by move, you are a facilitator
shut the fuck up.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: I feel really bad about this. [Re: Anonymous #7]
#12971629 - 07/29/10 02:25 PM (2 years, 9 months ago) |
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ok the monkey wasnt that great of an analogy. the dude knows that heroion addictive yet he chose to do it.
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