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 2bornot2b
Stranger
Registered: 02/04/10
Posts: 1
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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hello..
I have stumbled upon this thread by pure chance and the reason I was lead here is that i too want and struggle with the question constantly this has been so for as long as i remember (perhaps as young as 5-6)I'm currently in my late 20's. I was born into a wealthy family also though over the past 10 odd years my fathers gambling habit hurt us financially but the thing with money is more about class than having actual cash.. Meaning i still possess my mannerism and family ties which binds me to wealth to some degree but as I've grown older it has become less of an issue. I couldn't care less how rich or poor you are.. Do you possess grace? Grace is a dying art in people. It is to stand with your head held high even when life has weighed you down and dealt you some awful cards....
I am considered good looking and have made money based on my looks in the fashion industry and it has never made me feel better about myself.
I know the reasons i want to do it is this overwhelming sense of universal pain that may hit me at times like the arrival of a tornado out of nowhere and the pain is bigger than me. Just because there is pain and violence and poverty in other places doesn't mean you don't get affected by it and that is why it is our duty to take away pain from each other to help and to love.
I know the reason I've stayed this long is the fear of the unknown:
Would i be at a better place? Am i going to be back here to go through the same shit again? etc.. etc..
Fact is we are all a bunch of fallen hero's. We have come here to make this world a better place and I don't mean all of us can be a mother Teresa or what not but to have the strength and resilience to do right amidst this chaos and confusion.
Perhaps you need to look inward and see the beauty.. As far as sex and finding a girlfriend did u ever consider that perhaps having the difficulties you have you will encounter and find a true love that will see beyond all that? i mean there are people who have no legs or arms and burn victims and etc who are deformed and yet they find love. They find a truly special kind of love.
Change your perspective on life and life will change. You thought and feelings are ego based. That is what pains you...
I don't even know you but i love you because in truth we are all a family.
love and light to you and you will be in my prayers. Together we will live and make it all better.
n
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 Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 79,862
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said:
If you wanna make him feel better, at least don't try to bullshit him. 
Sex IS very pleasant and it does make people happy, but so are so many other things in life.
OP, if the only reasons for which you want to kill yourself is your infertility, your lack of good looks by commonly accepted standards, and the fact that you can't have kids, maybe you need to reconsider it. I am not going to be full of crap and say that suicide is never the answer, because for some people in some cases it really is, and IMO, this happens when one simply can't find a way to stop feeling continuously depressed, can't feel motivated, and feels utterly alienated and alone all the time, but you don't really seem to be in this case since you don't seem to totally want to die.
Also, your family is not what's important here. The only thing that's important is how you feel, and what you want.
Before really considering suicide, at least try to know as much as possible from this life and human experience, it's not like you have anything to lose anyways, especially if you compare it with taking your own life which would imply giving up on everything, without remorse. You can use this feeling as a motivator, and realize that, no matter if you keep living or if you die, you still have nothing to lose. Try traveling for example; this planet is so beautiful and diverse that it is something worth seeing and knowing, and far more complex than having a successful job or good looks.
Who knows, maybe after traveling everywhere you'll decide to live in Japan and then you will never even have to worry about the size of your genitals, since it will be something so common over there.
Not to mention that you'll get all those hot Japanese chicks. 
Nice balance
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"Hang on tightly, let go lightly" -anonymous
“under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being.”
― Robert Anton Wilson
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circastes
Being too serious
Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 5,667
Loc: 
Last seen: 11 minutes, 14 seconds
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 Re: should i commit suicide???  [Re: Icelander]
#11963943 - 02/04/10 09:00 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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If you're going to kill yourself you just have the wrong idea altogether about what life is.
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"Your salvation may lie in a rational apprehension of the present moment."
-Terence McKenna
she said there's good men
that there's God in everyone
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HuHEN
I am the Owl
Registered: 10/19/07
Posts: 2,420
Loc: Highlands 
Last seen: 1 month, 16 days
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: circastes]
#11964144 - 02/04/10 09:32 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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might as well stick around till 2012 just to see if the world is gonna end anyway. 
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 79,862
Loc: underbelly
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: circastes]
#11964772 - 02/04/10 10:59 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said:
If you're going to kill yourself you just have the wrong idea altogether about what life is.
That kind of blanket statement shows great ignorance imo. As if you know what the meaning of life is anyway.
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"Hang on tightly, let go lightly" -anonymous
“under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being.”
― Robert Anton Wilson
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seraphnz
default
Registered: 05/07/09
Posts: 248
Loc: vally of the real
Last seen: 4 days, 7 hours
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: HuHEN]
#11975387 - 02/06/10 03:23 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
HuHEN said:
might as well stick around till 2012 just to see if the world is gonna end anyway.
This.
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sleepy
zZzZzZzZz
Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 3,888
Loc: 
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: 2bornot2b]
#11989426 - 02/08/10 06:59 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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great first post.
Quote:
2bornot2b said:
hello..
I have stumbled upon this thread by pure chance and the reason I was lead here is that i too want and struggle with the question constantly this has been so for as long as i remember (perhaps as young as 5-6)I'm currently in my late 20's. I was born into a wealthy family also though over the past 10 odd years my fathers gambling habit hurt us financially but the thing with money is more about class than having actual cash.. Meaning i still possess my mannerism and family ties which binds me to wealth to some degree but as I've grown older it has become less of an issue. I couldn't care less how rich or poor you are.. Do you possess grace? Grace is a dying art in people. It is to stand with your head held high even when life has weighed you down and dealt you some awful cards....
I am considered good looking and have made money based on my looks in the fashion industry and it has never made me feel better about myself.
I know the reasons i want to do it is this overwhelming sense of universal pain that may hit me at times like the arrival of a tornado out of nowhere and the pain is bigger than me. Just because there is pain and violence and poverty in other places doesn't mean you don't get affected by it and that is why it is our duty to take away pain from each other to help and to love.
I know the reason I've stayed this long is the fear of the unknown:
Would i be at a better place? Am i going to be back here to go through the same shit again? etc.. etc..
Fact is we are all a bunch of fallen hero's. We have come here to make this world a better place and I don't mean all of us can be a mother Teresa or what not but to have the strength and resilience to do right amidst this chaos and confusion.
Perhaps you need to look inward and see the beauty.. As far as sex and finding a girlfriend did u ever consider that perhaps having the difficulties you have you will encounter and find a true love that will see beyond all that? i mean there are people who have no legs or arms and burn victims and etc who are deformed and yet they find love. They find a truly special kind of love.
Change your perspective on life and life will change. You thought and feelings are ego based. That is what pains you...
I don't even know you but i love you because in truth we are all a family.
love and light to you and you will be in my prayers. Together we will live and make it all better.
n
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Anonymous #4
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I think about it all the time. Everyday is miserable and I wonder if it'll ever get better yet I know life is temporary. Temporary! Does it matter if you do it today, tomorrow, next week? When I get a teminal disease, that'll be it...otherwise, I'm just going to suck it up and see what happens. My family doesn't give a flying fuck about me either, but fuck them. Why should I give a rat's ass about how they feel about me? Dying is unavoidable anyway so why make it happen sooner unless you have a terminal disease? Everyone is lonesome at certain points in their lives. There are people who are in horrible situations right now who don't have the option to die. Prison camps, foreign countries without hope, orphans with no where to go...the list is endless. It may not make you feel better knowing these things yet one day, may-be you'll be able to look back and say, "I'm not where want to be, but at least I'm not where I used to be."
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eligal
Noobie
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
all i want in life is to have good friends a good wife and a good family, but my god given problems have prevented me from having anything close to a girl friend and i can never father children, is it selfish of me to what i call euthanize myself for the sake that my perfect family can keep their status quo? where can i find a wife that can deal with abstinence
There are a few women that can deal and prefer abstinence.
If you cant give birth to children then you can always adopt, there are many kids without a loving home, instead of complaining about your inabilities, realize that theres still a way around that not only lets you have what you want but will also help others.
As for the underdeveloped genitalia, sex is generally over rated by the media, so stop judging what your life should be like by comparing your life to what you see on TV. Keep in mind that people can be very understanding, especially if they care about you. Once you find a woman that you want to be with dont be so afraid that you shoot yourself in the foot, chances are she will be cool with it as long as you use your other tools (hands, tongue, toys, etc). Look at married handicapped people.
The only real thing holding you back is your depression, and hopefully with some therapy, insight, self exploring, and the will to better yourself, you will be able to enjoy your life.
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\m/ Spanksta \m/
"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"
"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"
"tactik said:
respect the can."
Edited by eligal (05/17/10 05:04 AM)
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy
Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures 
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Is life worth living for its own sake, regardless of the circumstances that constrain us? That seems to be the implied argument of people who always protest against suicide, but I disagree. There are many scenarios I can imagine which would lead me to spring the mortal coil without much emotional bush-beating or thought to the implications it would have for others. Life isn't a priceless treat that should be preserved regardless IMO. Life is something that happens to you, and the prerequisite circumstances from which life arises certainly don't mean it will be favorable to personal satisfaction.
If I was in OP's shoes, it would just be a matter of weighing out various factors and then making a decision:
Is my present life satisfying?
If yes, don't commit suicide.
If no, continue to B.
B. What is the likelihood of my circumstances changing* to become something fulfilling?
1. >80% - don't kill myself
2. >60% - wait awhile and reevaluate
3. <40% - start browsing shroomery posts on how to commit suicide
4. <20% - question of suicide is not if, but when
5. <10% - RIP
Of course these values are arbitrary, and you could also factor in how long you're willing to put up with a shit life in the hopes of a better one, and various other factors of personal preference. But I think some systematic method of deciding is probably ideal. It reduces the likelihood of a poorly decided, impulsive suicide, and if you stick to your guidelines you won't endure a shit life forever in the erroneous hope that it will improve.
*There are many proactive steps that can be taken to find satisfaction within present circumstances, without those circumstances themselves changing. Indeed much of the progress you can make will come through this, rather than hoping something magically happens for you rather than because of you.
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Entropy is increasing.
To send me a PM, go to my journal
Edited by Grok (05/17/10 05:06 AM)
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mick
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 7,945
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 minutes
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: Grok]
#12577410 - 05/17/10 06:28 AM (3 years, 6 days ago) |
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I liked MTrips post.
OP I usually think about how I would feel about living if something shitty happened, like if i got in a bike wreck and lost the use of the lower half of my body.
It would be pretty shitty, especially since i dont really have a mountain of cash to fall back on, even a place of my own. Id probably be living with my parents forever, and would never have kids, wife, etc...
But at least there would be football. And gambling.
Those two things are enough to keep me around. Just find your thing.
If I were you, id go to school (if you havent already) and pick a career that youd be interested in. Ask your parents to pay for your school thats out of state, somewhere where you can move away, hopefully theyll pay for your place too. Id also start reading some self help books on self-confidence, and living for the joy of life, that kind of shit. It helps, a lot. Barnes and Noble: self help is your oasis.
join a band, i dunno, do something that will get you focused on the cool shit in life. there is so much more than women. if you can masturbate, fuckit man, thats good enough. i can live a happy life with football and masturbation.
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Anonymous #5
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: HuHEN]
#12577456 - 05/17/10 07:12 AM (3 years, 6 days ago) |
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Quote:
HuHEN said:
might as well stick around till 2012 just to see if the world is gonna end anyway.
That was my original plan.
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Lennyk
D-O-L-E Dole
Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 2,385
Loc: Near the Ground
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: mick]
#12577479 - 05/17/10 07:25 AM (3 years, 6 days ago) |
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Quote:
mick said:
I liked MTrips post.
OP I usually think about how I would feel about living if something shitty happened, like if i got in a bike wreck and lost the use of the lower half of my body.
It would be pretty shitty, especially since i dont really have a mountain of cash to fall back on, even a place of my own. Id probably be living with my parents forever, and would never have kids, wife, etc...
But at least there would be football. And gambling.
Those two things are enough to keep me around. Just find your thing.
If I were you, id go to school (if you havent already) and pick a career that youd be interested in. Ask your parents to pay for your school thats out of state, somewhere where you can move away, hopefully theyll pay for your place too. Id also start reading some self help books on self-confidence, and living for the joy of life, that kind of shit. It helps, a lot. Barnes and Noble: self help is your oasis.
join a band, i dunno, do something that will get you focused on the cool shit in life. there is so much more than women. if you can masturbate, fuckit man, thats good enough. i can live a happy life with football and masturbation.
There is more than sex in a relationship with a woman. A lot of my depressed friends turned into masturbation addicts thinking it could replace the feelings. Constantly driving up your dopamine and having it crash on you doesn't make a person happy.
I like the rest though 
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Stealth Lighting
Cubensis benefits beyond cluster headaches
Mush Extract! (You can even use Vinegar!)
Flame your needle in style with a sexy mini butane torch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happens in the Romper Room, stays in the Romper Room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All posts are written by the sex deprived helper monkey Curious George.
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jmorgan_55
Stranger
Registered: 12/17/10
Posts: 1
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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I really hope you didn't end up committing suicide. Your family will miss you longer than a month. My friend committed suicide, and I still think about him everyday. That was 5 years ago. I'm struggling myself, and I really do feel your pain. I was raped a year ago on new years, after saving myself for 21 years. I was diagnosed last month with HPV. All I have ever wanted is to find someone who loves me. But I have also struggled with the idea that no one will ever have sex with me. But I have faith that we both will find someone. True love sees past sex. It only takes that one person to fall in love. It's normal that it hasn't happened yet. It will. I promise. But there really is more to life. I hope that you can find joy in other things. I have found a lot of joy in music and art. I hope that you can find something you are passionate about. But really the one reason that I have never gone through with suicide, is because of God. I'm not sure if you believe or not. But He gives us a promise that things will get better, and that He loves us. Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I am praying for you, and I hope that you see light. One of my favourite Mumford and Sons songs has lyrics that sum up what I am trying to say to you- "There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill and see what you find there".
Good luck friend.
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Xpatriot
Stranger
Registered: 07/30/08
Posts: 149
Last seen: 4 months, 25 days
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: jmorgan_55]
#13645626 - 12/17/10 04:51 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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You might not read my message but if you do understand this, your depression, your struggle can be a good thing. I am on the tail end of a three year suicidal depressive psychotic nightmare. Ive been through everything, thinking about my experience fills me with emotion and often almost brings me to tears. But i can see a bright day, in my darkest moments I pictured some place far off in the future, a bright sunny day, a life to strive for. I woke up today and I felt happy. All of the struggle, all of the inner pain, low self esteem, self hate, for a few hours dissipated. I rode a bus around town listening to music, not worrying, not thinking about what I do or do not have. I just enjoyed life, despite my shortcomings, social anxiety, depression, and all of that. I have been manic, I know what its like, I know what its like to hide all night long in my colleges library due to paranoia, I know pain. When the happiness comes, the pain the struggle it all feels worth it. Trust me. When you make it, and you will, you will understand. Recognize this may take years, start slow, take each day. Be introspective, but not negative. Try and understand why the opinion of society and others can have such an impact on your life. There are more people than you could ever imagine experiencing the same thing...
The inner pain will lead to inner growth if you allow it. Use this time of struggle to reconstruct yourself, study the brain, study society, study whatever it takes to learn about yourself and why you are the way you are. Accepting yourself as stuck as a bipolar individual is giving up. Dont let people tell you that you cannot change. Ive been manic up for days, and im here now no longer experiencing the symptoms of bipolar disorder. I cant tell you how to fix yourself, I can only tell you that you most likely can. Avoid those who give you a negative impression of yourself, and start exercising...it helps alot. Eat healthy. Good luck.
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Almond Flour
Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 9,102
Last seen: 21 days, 12 hours
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: jmorgan_55]
#13645684 - 12/17/10 05:18 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
jmorgan_55 said:
I really hope you didn't end up committing suicide. Your family will miss you longer than a month. My friend committed suicide, and I still think about him everyday. That was 5 years ago. I'm struggling myself, and I really do feel your pain. I was raped a year ago on new years, after saving myself for 21 years. I was diagnosed last month with HPV. All I have ever wanted is to find someone who loves me. But I have also struggled with the idea that no one will ever have sex with me. But I have faith that we both will find someone. True love sees past sex. It only takes that one person to fall in love. It's normal that it hasn't happened yet. It will. I promise. But there really is more to life. I hope that you can find joy in other things. I have found a lot of joy in music and art. I hope that you can find something you are passionate about. But really the one reason that I have never gone through with suicide, is because of God. I'm not sure if you believe or not. But He gives us a promise that things will get better, and that He loves us. Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I am praying for you, and I hope that you see light. One of my favourite Mumford and Sons songs has lyrics that sum up what I am trying to say to you- "There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill and see what you find there".
Good luck friend.
I told my current girlfriend who was a virgin that i might have HPV......its not that big a deal, Luckily for us the biological need to reproduce overcomes fear of STD's. People still get aids dont they
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In other words, thinking outside the box might be facilitated by having a somewhat less intact box. -Random Doctor 
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition -Timothy Leary
Everyone has their own unique brand of toxic psychosis -Alexander Shulgin 
living forever would be a terrible curse if there were not also quality of life to match it.  -Unknown
There may be flies on you and me, but there are no flies on Jesus -Hunter Thompson
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dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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If the OP is still alive and for anyone else thinking of killing themselves. I aint even going to post a story/reason. read everything that has been posted before me. Some GREAT stories and positive wisdom. PLENTY of info of why not to kill yourself. 
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Curiousgeorge22
Mad Man
Registered: 08/17/09
Posts: 1,924
Loc: mommas womb
Last seen: 4 months, 30 days
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Re: should i commit suicide??? [Re: dshow]
#13649252 - 12/17/10 11:38 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Start to not give a fuck. Seriously. You only have one life. Do whatever pleases you.
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“The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off.
Why should I?” - Bob Marley
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dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Quote:
Start to not give a fuck. Seriously. You only have one life. Do whatever pleases you.
This is the best short advice you can have. When you stop giving a fuck. You get better at life. You do things you would never do. You might travel to some random country cuz who the fuck knows why. You go to a rave. endless...
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zalsrevenge
Stranger
Registered: 02/28/11
Posts: 1
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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I know it's been a while since you've posted it, but if you're still around I don't think you should commit suicide. I myself are contemplating suicide for a number of reasons. I have been an alcoholic for 3 years(Im only 20) and I've been addicted to weed for 4 years(I know most people would laugh at this, but if I stop I dont sleep for days and I have loss of coordination, appetite, and I get very angry at everyone.). The only way i've been able to hold myself back is to say to myself it's going to be painful, in one way or the other.
And to all of those who believe he can just get a girlfriend and start living a normal life it isn't that easy. Kleinfelters syndrome is a very tough condition to live with. I do not have it myself but I have done a fair bit of research on it. Basically you have a penis the size of a 9 year olds. You grow small breasts. You are infertile. If I had kleinfelters syndrome I would probably kill myself.
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