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 Captain Caveman
Uh-oh!
Registered: 01/13/09
Posts: 2,253
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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 Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks...  [Re: the bizzle]
#10674009 - 07/14/09 10:39 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Its funny how theres always an excuse with women. Either "We dont talk anymore" or some shit. At least us guys dont make up some stupid excuse. We just say ...
"It wasnt me."
Anyways, cheating happens. My wife had a 1 nighter a few years ago. I forgave. that was 6 years ago, and I have no doubts still.
The true test of love is time.
Shit happens, and history doesnt always repeat itself. Infidelity is a part of monotony. Its only when we try to possess each other, that sex becomes a weapon.
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"Captain CAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!"
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 xyz789
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 41,853
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why not be swingers then?
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Solemente
Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,333
Loc: 
Last seen: 4 days, 15 hours
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674019 - 07/14/09 10:43 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
supernovasky said:
I know huh?
I tell you what though, I just wish I knew WHY. I have been nothing but good to her.
The last girl I was pretty serious with(we lived together for almost a year), was selling herself while we were dating. It's not like she needed to or anything. Who knows why women do these ridiculous things.
Needless to say when I found out I blew a gasket, and kicked her whore ass out. I gotta say though, being single is 
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spock
journeyman
Registered: 08/27/03
Posts: 920
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674024 - 07/14/09 10:43 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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If she was drunk at a party maybe but you say she
was trying to plan this out. Fucking sucks. How could you ever trust her again.
My wife and I are getting divorced and it sucks. We've been married 8 years and have a 5 year old.
The pain of betrayal from the person you're not supposed to have to worry about. The one that's supposed to be on you're team and have your back.
Change is hard but once you start to walk away from this bullshit, the farther you get, the better you will feel. Trust me. Divorce her before she divorces you. Divorce her while you have grounds
for at fault divorce or you will get taken to the cleaners both emotionally and financially.
Best of luck and sorry to hear this.
-spock
Edited by spock (07/14/09 10:46 AM)
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novum
crap game
Registered: 03/04/06
Posts: 25,473
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 5 hours, 43 minutes
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man, really sorry to hear this.
i'm sure you're feeling terrible right now, but as gonz said, don't be an enabler and blame yourself; you didn't cheat, she did. you should get yourself to therapy (not couples but for yourself) to work out any feelings of guilt you have, that 'excuse' the woman comes up with is always something to deflect the blame from their actions to yours.
i know this will hurt terribly, but i would end this.
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filthee
DWWP
Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 4,257
Loc: australia
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674044 - 07/14/09 10:48 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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damn man thats fucked up what she done to you and your trust
you must be pretty crushed,i dont know if you'll ever get over something like that
if you still love her and want her and she's still with you,start listening to her,its up to you if you want her still
she might have been doing it for attention
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Cowgold
Bullshit
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 12,484
Loc: .
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674047 - 07/14/09 10:49 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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You and your friend should go to a tity bar and degrade some women. 
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supernovasky
Comrade
Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 8,982
Loc: Louisiana
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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Quote:
Captain Caveman said:
Its funny how theres always an excuse with women. Either "We dont talk anymore" or some shit. At least us guys dont make up some stupid excuse. We just say ...
"It wasnt me."
Anyways, cheating happens. My wife had a 1 nighter a few years ago. I forgave. that was 6 years ago, and I have no doubts still.
The true test of love is time.
Shit happens, and history doesnt always repeat itself. Infidelity is a part of monotony. Its only when we try to possess each other, that sex becomes a weapon.
You're right... the excuses very much strike me as trying to put blame on the non-cheater. What really sucked is that she wasn't even honest AFTER I confronted her with knowing, as if she could keep lying to me when I had what happened in her own words. I love her very much, but right now, trust is VERY hard for me. At least I caught it before it happened, so one of our friends says... this friend is urging me to try to repair things with her. On one hand, I agree, leaving her would be very simple and would give me the least amount of worry and stress... but I really, really did love this girl enough to marry her, and we've been together for a long time.
I do know that she didn't cheat though or even try with anyone else, at least according to the diary, which kept very explicit details about her thoughts and plans.
It just really sucks, because I'm about as faithful as they come. I have never cheated in my life, and my friends have even laughed at me for turning down beautiful women because I have a wife, even when there was going to be no way she'd ever find out.
I don't think she expected me to ever find out about her. She even had it planned for when I was gone to Dallas, which she was supposed to come with me to but suspiciously canceled it last minute... thats when all of this occurred.
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FreedomForAll
One Step Ahead
Registered: 11/30/08
Posts: 2,105
Last seen: 10 days, 9 hours
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674064 - 07/14/09 10:53 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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If you've been good to here, what more can you do to "mend" the relationship? She's been planning this dude, this isn't a sexual urge...
"The only person that can change you is yourself..."
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xyz789
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 41,853
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674065 - 07/14/09 10:53 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Wow man, if you stay with her PLEASE don't act suprised when she burns you next week or in 3 years because her intent is very clear. You think that changes over night? Does the kid who gets caught with a bag of weed stop smoking? Fuck no, he learns to conceal it better.
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supernovasky
Comrade
Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 8,982
Loc: Louisiana
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: xyz789]
#10674071 - 07/14/09 10:55 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
dr_gonz said:
Wow man, if you stay with her PLEASE don't act suprised when she burns you next week or in 3 years because her intent is very clear. You think that changes over night? Does the kid who gets caught with a bag of weed stop smoking? Fuck no, he learns to conceal it better.
I know I know, this is pretty much how I feel.
I don't want to be fucking naive about this.
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xyz789
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 41,853
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674078 - 07/14/09 10:57 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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My man, listen to me. I have known A LOT of scandelous married women. They are good at what they do. Fuckin hate myself to be low enough to fuck a few, but I'm telling you they have no remorse.
Let's see a cost analysis of staying vs leaving.
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Solemente
Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,333
Loc:
Last seen: 4 days, 15 hours
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: xyz789]
#10674080 - 07/14/09 10:57 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
dr_gonz said:
Wow man, if you stay with her PLEASE don't act suprised when she burns you next week or in 3 years because her intent is very clear. You think that changes over night? Does the kid who gets caught with a bag of weed stop smoking? Fuck no, he learns to conceal it better.
QFT, kick her ass to the curb. I'm sorry to put it like this but you seem like you deserve way better than that excuse for a human being that you call your wife.
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supernovasky
Comrade
Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 8,982
Loc: Louisiana
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674081 - 07/14/09 10:57 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Its so strange how the people that know us in real life, and the people of the Shroomery (who I also share a connection with) give me such different advice. I wonder what is the root of that. Is the advice I get here better because of impartiality, or is the advice I get in real life better because they know us personally?
This shit isn't easy, it feels like there really is no right answer.
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novum
crap game
Registered: 03/04/06
Posts: 25,473
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 5 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674083 - 07/14/09 10:58 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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yeah, look at all the planning that went into this. this isn't a we got drunk and started flirting kind of thing, this is premeditated. i'mm not trying to hurt you by saying this, but there is probably more than you know. if she has a myspace account, you can be sure she's been using it for cyber-flirting/cheating.
if she really wanted to be sorry and work things out, or felt bad about it at all, she would have broken down and admitted it right away. but she thought she could get away with it, which indicates the only thing she is sorry about is getting caught.
at the very least, you need to have a trial separation.
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FreedomForAll
One Step Ahead
Registered: 11/30/08
Posts: 2,105
Last seen: 10 days, 9 hours
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: xyz789]
#10674085 - 07/14/09 10:58 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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The only reason he shouldn't leave is because they have a child who will suffer because of this. Unless OP gets a new loyal wife.
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xyz789
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 41,853
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674090 - 07/14/09 10:59 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
supernovasky said:
Its so strange how the people that know us in real life, and the people of the Shroomery (who I also share a connection with) give me such different advice. I wonder what is the root of that. Is the advice I get here better because of impartiality, or is the advice I get in real life better because they know us personally?
This shit isn't easy, it feels like there really is no right answer.
We are all completely OBJECTIVE (re: impartial and real) to the situation. Don't be a sucker. She will walk all over you if she knows there is no consequence.
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novum
crap game
Registered: 03/04/06
Posts: 25,473
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 5 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: supernovasky]
#10674096 - 07/14/09 11:00 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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people in real life are less likely to
1. want to hurt your feelings
2. give advice, you do the opposite, and then hate them for the advice
3. they don't want to deal with the stress of you breaking up; its easier for them to have you as a couple.
4. like her better.
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xyz789
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 41,853
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: FreedomForAll]
#10674099 - 07/14/09 11:00 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
FreedomForAll said:
The only reason he shouldn't leave is because they have a child who will suffer because of this. Unless OP gets a new loyal wife.
the child will suffer MUCH more if they stay together and constantly fight and accuse each other of wrong doing.
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Captain Caveman
Uh-oh!
Registered: 01/13/09
Posts: 2,253
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: Cheating and Infidelity sucks... [Re: spock]
#10674101 - 07/14/09 11:00 AM (3 years, 10 months ago) |
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This is why marriages are failing fast.
You think our grandparents didnt fuck around?
Sure they did, they just dealt with it.
Unconditional love is just that.
With all that being said....
it being a friend of yours is the worst part. Shows what limits this woman has. But, like you said, nothing happened. The trust wont ever be what it was. At least it isnt in my case. And for a while it will eat at you. Im 26, and have been faithful the whole 10 years we have lived together.This happened around the 4 year period too. But, in my case, I dont blame her. I was always off hanging out with friends, some being female. Someone mentioned swinging, lol. Me and the wife have had 3 and 4somes, and only the subject changes. For instance, after a threesome once, my wife accused me of kissing our friend. Having my balls and dick in her every orifice was fine, but the mere thought of me kissing her behind her back was he final straw 
Anyways, Im high, and rambling....
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"Captain CAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!"
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