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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Fuckin piss tests
    #9651992 - 01/21/09 12:42 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Figures that as soon as I start smoking weed again, a bomb ass job opens for me. Im gonna feel like a dumbass when I tell him I cant apply for 2 weeks. Whats a good excuse peeps?


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Offlineunretarded
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652039 - 01/21/09 12:50 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

I don`t piss or shit in a cup for work..............
Never have ,never will.
The last year I worked I made almost 60,000.


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I love our leaders and the feds ,they are great people and the laws they make help us!:rofl2:

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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: unretarded]
    #9652046 - 01/21/09 12:52 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

thats nice...
:popcorn:


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OfflineNewbieS
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652080 - 01/21/09 12:56 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Get Omni.  Follow the directions.  Pass your test.

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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Newbie]
    #9652089 - 01/21/09 12:57 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

(Looking up omni)


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OfflineLucker
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652102 - 01/21/09 12:58 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Very high doses of creatin will work for a piss test.    But you must not smoke for at least 7 days.  Get a jug of muscle tech or something and triple the dose plus some if you can do it.  I would drink the entire month supply in a week.  I have a friend who would smoke until Thursday night and drop on Monday morning.  Passed for 5 years until he was off probation.  You know your drinking enough when your farts are lemon lime.


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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652105 - 01/21/09 12:59 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Ahhh, Ive never had any success with those detox drinks. If I spend any money at all, it will be on some test strips, or a urine pouch.


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Offlinedestructo_low
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652122 - 01/21/09 01:02 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Looks like ebay is out of the gonumber1 synthetic urine. I got one about two weeks ago. It's an elastic belt with a pouch of synthetic urine on it. You use hand warmers to get it to body temp, and it has a hose coming out that you use to fill the cup with. I wore it for an hour and the temp strip on the bag read 92 degrees*. It was definitely warm to the touch.

*Without wearing any heating pads. Just body warmth. :awesome:


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There is a molecule for every purpose. There are only actions and reactions. Cut out the middle men. Everything I say is a lie.

Edited by destructo_low (01/21/09 01:04 PM)

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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652130 - 01/21/09 01:02 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

And no offense lucker, but Im not gonna risk a job like this going by what someone says someone else did. I just want a good excuse why I wont be physically available for 2 weeks...


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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: destructo_low]
    #9652136 - 01/21/09 01:03 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

destructo_low said:
Looks like ebay is out of the gonumber1 synthetic urine. I got one about two weeks ago. It's an elastic belt with a pouch of synthetic urine on it. You use hand warmers to get it to body temp, and it has a hose coming out that you use to fill the cup with. I wore it for an hour and the temp strip on the bag read 92 degrees. It was definitely warm to the touch.




Yeah, the thing is, those are illegal in my state, and I would have to drive 2 hours to a store to get one.


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Offlinedestructo_low
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652167 - 01/21/09 01:08 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Are you in Alabama?


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There is a molecule for every purpose. There are only actions and reactions. Cut out the middle men. Everything I say is a lie.

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Offlinedestructo_low
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652183 - 01/21/09 01:11 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Captain Caveman said:
And no offense lucker, but Im not gonna risk a job like this going by what someone says someone else did. I just want a good excuse why I wont be physically available for 2 weeks...




Shoot yourself in the foot, and spend two weeks in the hospital. :grin:


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There is a molecule for every purpose. There are only actions and reactions. Cut out the middle men. Everything I say is a lie.

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OfflineNewbieS
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652233 - 01/21/09 01:18 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Captain Caveman said:
Ahhh, Ive never had any success with those detox drinks. If I spend any money at all, it will be on some test strips, or a urine pouch.




I passed twice, with weed and opiates, and adderall in my system.  It works if you follow the directions, but your mind sounds made up.  Good luck!  :grin:

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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: destructo_low]
    #9652240 - 01/21/09 01:20 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

destructo_low said:
Are you in Alabama?



KY


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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9652251 - 01/21/09 01:21 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Close enough haha.


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There is a molecule for every purpose. There are only actions and reactions. Cut out the middle men. Everything I say is a lie.

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Offlinesirjeth
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: destructo_low]
    #9652588 - 01/21/09 02:21 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Just get someone clean to piss in something for you, it's that easy. lol


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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: sirjeth]
    #9653762 - 01/21/09 05:35 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Eveyone I know smokes weed or is on prescribed pain meds.


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OfflineLucker
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9657352 - 01/22/09 07:47 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah , caveman I agree with you.  I had my little brother piss for me for my current job.  That is the safest way..take clean piss or be clean when you piss.  My friend was on probation for 5 years after getting busted with 76 plants with intent.  The fucker never stopped smoking and he could have done some good time if he failed.  Not worth it IMO.  But he did pass everyone.  Look up how the piss test scan works.  It has to do with your levels of cannabinoids, creatin and electrolytes ratio.  since you have natural levels of cannabinoids in your system without smoking pot.  So when people just flush with water they lower the creatin and electrolytes in their system and your busted. Nothing I would recommend testing with a good job.  Go on vacation to the Vatican for a few weeks and take communion.  that way they think your a religous nut and not a pot head.


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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Lucker]
    #9657357 - 01/22/09 07:51 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

you could just dupe it by drinking alot of water, creatine (they check levels of that as a sign of duping) and B3/niacin (makes your piss yellow, instead of the conspicuous clear :smile2:)
I've passed tests this way, with around 7-8 glasses of water.


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¿Check out some art m8?


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OfflineChakravanti
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: twighead]
    #9657593 - 01/22/09 09:15 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Dilution does work.  Make sure you do your research on it because you must achieve a certain level of dilution without going overboard and also use B vitamins to get the color back.  There is a lot of information on the internet available on doing this just keep reading till you find one that makes sense and has a lot of confirmation. 9/10 produts you buy don't work. 

If it were me I'd just say I wasn't available yet.  You don't have to give an explanation.  Just a time frame.  If asked just say it's personal and look like you're about to cry but trying to hold it back.  People don't ask questions when they have to get to know you for real.  If you're told that it's now or never, then go with the dilution.


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This is a test. Just keep on going. Don't worry. We'll get it right. We've done this before.

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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Chakravanti]
    #9657700 - 01/22/09 09:45 AM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for your responses guys. I know about dilution, the problem is there WILL be someone standing there. The recruiter was fine with my not being available till then, because the position I found out wont be open till then. The job: Chaperon. I will be part of an armed escort for a 18 wheeler hauling pharms. I will be sitting on my ass for 12+ hours a day, in the rig with the driver.


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OfflineLucker
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9659602 - 01/22/09 03:19 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

You never know when a pot head is gunna pull some special forces moves...snap your neck and steal your pharms.


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Offlinecalifarmer619
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Lucker]
    #9659752 - 01/22/09 03:44 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

no joke, drink a bunch of redbulls and cranberry juice, go for a run. you may be diluted but they do instant tests for jobs. unless your getting a 100k plus military kinda job, they lab those. as long as they don lab it you cool. oh and stop smoking now


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Offlinecalifarmer619
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9659784 - 01/22/09 03:50 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Captain Caveman said:
Thanks for your responses guys. I know about dilution, the problem is there WILL be someone standing there. The recruiter was fine with my not being available till then, because the position I found out wont be open till then. The job: Chaperon. I will be part of an armed escort for a 18 wheeler hauling pharms. I will be sitting on my ass for 12+ hours a day, in the rig with the driver.



oops diddnt read that. you can try what I sugguested but its up to you. tat sounds like a pretty sweet job tho. you can shoot addicts that try to jack you:goodluck:


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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: califarmer619]
    #9661976 - 01/22/09 09:11 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

lol, ty. Yeah,I quit as soon as I found out. Heres the funny thing. Iknow 2 people in the company, and found out some great news...



NO RANDOMS!!! NOT EVEN AFTER AN ACCIDENT!!!

What kinda shit is that?


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Offlinecalifarmer619
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: Captain Caveman]
    #9662417 - 01/22/09 10:38 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

is what?


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OfflineCaptain Caveman
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Re: Fuckin piss tests [Re: califarmer619]
    #9662670 - 01/22/09 11:30 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

The fact that they are so worried about the initial test that there will be someone present, yet wont ever test me after that,lol.


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