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Offlineosorno
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Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar
    #8905221 - 09/10/08 02:47 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

Sex: Male
Weight: 75 Kilograms
Medical Conditions: Bipolar Disorder Type II

The objective of this post is to know if you know someone that experienced a strong ego-death with small dose (so small, that I even't got hallucinations or visual changes)

The first time that I was on shrooms, I try a Brazilian strain. I took 1.6 dried grams. The trip was beautiful. It was mostly visual.

The second time, I eat a very soft shrooms in a chocolate, I think that it was something like 1 gram. I have soft visual changes and good mood.

The third time I took 2.1 grams of a 'hard' strain (Thai Pink Buffalo). I was also using Sertraline (SSRI) in small doses and Lamictal [mood stabilizer] (150mg). Also I think that I was in a hypo-mania episode of my bipolar disorder.
This trip, was an extremely nice trip, I see myself like in a movie, all was extremely perfect. Strong visual hallucinations.
After I start to feel paranoid (I was walking in the street of a small town) and then I go to my house. I start to feel very sick, I was getting mad. I lost the sense of time and space. After that I speak with my friends and I was extremely confused, I didn't know if they where imaginary or if they where in a parallel world. After that I get some fever and start to shake (I think that I feel cold, so I start to shake and this make get fever).

After that, I was a bit afraid, so I decide to take only 1.1 grams of a soft strain (Costa Rican). In this trip, I was only using Lamictal [mood stabilizer] (200mg). The trip start after 30 minutes with very soft visual distortions, then I begin to get mad. I experience a strong ego death, I feel that all universe, time and space was a fake think, that I was never birth, because I was God.
In this stage, without visual hallucinations and good control over my body, I decided to take 50mg of Seroquel [an anti-psychotic]. I knew that as I was starting the trip, so I will have 3 or 4 more hours of this shit.
Again I start to shake and I get fever. Now I started to have a delirium, now all make sense to me, I was god and all this universe with time and matter are only in my head.
After 3 hours from the beginning of the trip, I started to land, and decided to have sex to try to stop it, even if I was not excited. I was thinking that maybe the chemistry of the orgasm can stabilize my brain. After that my mental confusion stop. The problem is that my theory (of being god) still was in my head until 3 more days (when I found a logic inconsistency).

Now I don't know if that was a Psychosis or Mania. As I'm bipolar, I think that I was in a hypo-mania and this trigger me to a mania. I wish to know if somebody with this dose have experienced something like that, without visual hallucinations.

After this experience, I was wondering if with half of a trip of LSD I can have hallucinations without having this strong ego death.


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OfflineLightShedder
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: osorno]
    #8905225 - 09/10/08 02:50 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

I'm not sure what to say about all that.


--------------------
       

One day, God created LSD through the intercession of blessed Albert Hoffman. This powerful sacrament then went on to enlighten mankind, even the president of america. This ushered in an age of spiritual unity and peace. This allowed for mankind to reach it's full potential including immortality and intergalactic exploration and habitation. Thanks, God.

"If it seems radical, pretend like it is normal."


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OfflineSpiritual Seeker
Nothing Matters
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: LightShedder]
    #8905242 - 09/10/08 02:56 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

Wow dude.....jsut fucking WoW.

Its 1 thing to trip with mental dissorders. I believe everyone has them to some extent.

Its another thing to take psychedelics when your a person who can barley function in a sober non medicated mindset.

ITS AN ENTIRELY DIFFRENT SUBJECT TO MIX THEM WITH MEDICINE. You are an idiot. Not because your Bi polar and mixing them (Not support that either though). But that fact you are on a decent dose of lamictal and still took them is beyond me.

FUCKING STOP, Your going to make yourself insane on in the hospital. O MY FUCKING GOD please stop. I dont wanna see you on the main page news list.

DONT BE A FUCKING IDIOT Stick to weed.....and i still have a friend who's Bipolar and eventually snapped from smoking weed with his medicine.


--------------------
"Nothing in the world is a gift. Whatever there is to learn has to be learned the hard way."
-Don juan


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Offlineosorno
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Registered: 09/10/08
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8905257 - 09/10/08 03:04 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

But Lamictal as it's a mood stabilizer is supposed to make soft the effects of shrooms.


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OfflineLightShedder
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: osorno]
    #8905277 - 09/10/08 03:12 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

Drugs aren't for everybody. If you don't enjoy the effects of drugs then you don't have to do them. You can still be cool:thumbup:


--------------------
       

One day, God created LSD through the intercession of blessed Albert Hoffman. This powerful sacrament then went on to enlighten mankind, even the president of america. This ushered in an age of spiritual unity and peace. This allowed for mankind to reach it's full potential including immortality and intergalactic exploration and habitation. Thanks, God.

"If it seems radical, pretend like it is normal."


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OfflineSpiritual Seeker
Nothing Matters
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Registered: 05/12/07
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Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: osorno]
    #8905290 - 09/10/08 03:16 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

osorno said:
But Lamictal as it's a mood stabilizer is supposed to make soft the effects of shrooms.




....do what your gonna do. But in your best intrest i do NOT reccomend mixing something like lamictal.

And bro im not saying its "You" Who shouldnt do mushrooms. If someone wants to trip they are going to do it. Its the Lamictal your taking that scares me.


--------------------
"Nothing in the world is a gift. Whatever there is to learn has to be learned the hard way."
-Don juan


Edited by Spiritual Seeker (09/10/08 03:24 AM)


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Offlinemushroomtip
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8905306 - 09/10/08 03:22 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

Just a bit of advice, you said you took seroquel...
Next time try crushing it up and snorting a little.
Not the whole pill just a small line. When ingested
it takes a while to effect you and will often be over
powered by the mushrooms/acid. If you snort a little
it'll do the job.


--------------------
"Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well." - Mahatma Gandhi


Seeds and cuttings for trade.


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OfflineOphanim
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: mushroomtip]
    #8905447 - 09/10/08 05:32 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

If you've got some rough shit going on in your mind already, mushrooms are the wrong drug to be taking.

Those little fuckers will kick your shit around good.

Personally, I think you should think about why you feel a need to trip and what you really want to get out of it, and then decide if you're really likely to achieve that result. If you still feel you need to trip, try light doses of Mescaline or LSD.


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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: osorno]
    #8905475 - 09/10/08 05:56 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

I've experienced much the same thing on shrooms, minus the mood stabilizers.  My delusion only lasted an hour or two, but it was damned disturbing nonetheless.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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InvisibleAbuse
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Registered: 08/08/08
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: deCypher]
    #8905511 - 09/10/08 06:31 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

I've been in the same situation (bad trip wise), it's terrible.


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Offlinemushroomtip
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: Abuse]
    #8905565 - 09/10/08 07:12 AM (6 years, 3 months ago)

my very best advice to you is, take a 6 month break.
Clear your head and try again. If it happens again then stop tripping.


Chasing a trip is gonna leave you all kinds of fucked up. I know cuz I've been there. I was eating cid 3 days a week plus shrooms and research chemicals when they were around. Left me delusional for a good minute after i stopped. took a 6 month break, came back in February with 3 hits and had a great time. Moderation is the key  my friend.

:peace:


--------------------
"Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well." - Mahatma Gandhi


Seeds and cuttings for trade.


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OfflineZinglons Acolyte
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: mushroomtip]
    #8907783 - 09/10/08 05:40 PM (6 years, 3 months ago)

i have bipolar disorder type 2 as well, my hypomanic episodes tend to come in bursts of a couple hours, and then i have a huge crash (like i drank 2 energy drinks) and then it continues like that, for several days i get really easily overly excited, random euphoria and such, contrasted with a high degree of impatience and irritability

personally, i use cannabis for both my hypomanic and my depressive episodes, an indica dominant usually, as sativa doms tend to exasperate my hypomanic state and i tweak out, indica doms usually lift my mood when im in a depressed state, and calm me down when in a hypomanic state, it also helps to prevent the hypomanic episodes by burning off some of my spurious mental energy

personlly i got fed up with the pharmaceutical drugs quite a while ago, they made me feel like shit if i forgot to take them for a couple days, they dampened all my emotions, and they kept me numb to the festering pit in my soul where all my repressed hatred went, and i had tryed to stop taking them many times, and i succeded finally earlier this year, and am now pursuing a medical marijuana card so that i can start growing my own without fear of negative repercussions on my parents

as to psychedelics, im afraid my experiences are limited to cannabis and hbwr, the one experiment with hbwr wasnt particularly psychedelic though, but ive had many deep and meaningful experiences with cannabis, including the life changing one where i discovered the willpower i needed to get off of ssris


--------------------
And they wandered off.. nine ways till bedfast.
-----
"And lets pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space 'cause theres bugger-all down here on earth!"  -Monty Python's "The Universe Song" from The Meaning of Life
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely considered as a bad move."  -Douglas Adams "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"
"If the words 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on." -Terence McKenna


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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: Zinglons Acolyte]
    #8907791 - 09/10/08 05:42 PM (6 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Zinglons Acolyte said: ive had many deep and meaningful experiences with cannabis, including the life changing one where i discovered the willpower i needed to get off of ssris




Good to hear it, man.  SSRIs are just all-around nasty stuff in general.  Brain zaps FTL.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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Offlineisaacein
exp(ix) = cosx + isinx


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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: osorno]
    #8907870 - 09/10/08 05:58 PM (6 years, 3 months ago)

I say you should stay away from drugs until you know you're in a stable state of mind.

By the way, what was the logical inconsistency with your idea of being God? I'm quite curious to know.


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Formula: 0


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OfflineACISME
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: osorno]
    #8966686 - 09/22/08 04:22 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

The experience you explain sounds similar to those experienced by people who follow a perennial philosophy (core of buddhism, christianity and many other religions, the idea that everyone can come to see "god" within themselves, and you may experience its' eternity by casting aside your man made conceptions (ego) and delving within to find the truth. Many other people (including some of the early intellectuals to try mushrooms and LSD were after this "ego death" experience explained by saints and mystics around the world) who have taken mushrooms have also found that mushrooms sometimes gently remove their ego, or sometimes with resistance, regardless in true ego loss some people find themselves in union with what we call "god" and all its beauty, and understanding the way of things, like that time and space do not actually exist, like you are god, a part of it, that this your true nature and that "god" is always within you, you just aren't aware of it! I believe by experience that if used properly mushrooms can in fact help you experience these truths that would normally require years of devout commitment to a spiritual way of living.

Now I do not mean to offend but you did open yourself up to analysis on the internet! I think that you were experiencing some of these intuitive truths but that your ego was fighting them, your preconceived notions of what god is, and what time and space are were so drastically different than what your intuitive understanding was telling you that the part of your ego that was left caused a lot of turmoil and distress.

I do not know to what level your bi-polar affects you, but it sounds to me like your trip was not a reflection of it's effects, but actually an inner struggle with ego-death, because indeed it can be fucking scary to loose all notions of what you believed were true.


Edited by ACISME (09/22/08 04:48 AM)


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Offlinesandhop
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Re: Very Bad Trip with Small Shrooms dose - Bipolar - Mania - Ego Death - Bipolar [Re: ACISME]
    #8966998 - 09/22/08 07:29 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

I was actually recently diagnosed with bipolarII after nearly 1.5 years of crazy downswings with few ups.  I'm actually currently coming out of a major depressive episode that's lasted for 5 months or so which has felt like torture, and I'm still not 100% myself yet, though I can't be certain :frown:.  The first time I tripped I was in a similar spot to where I am now and the experience was great and I felt like I was glowing the following day, for the first time in what felt like forever.  However I smoked weed that day and felt depressed again.  Gonna trip next week and get that glowing feeling back and try to hold onto it forever.


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