|
 Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
 
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
 Addiction Support Thread
#6625871 - 03/01/07 07:07 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
As everyone who's been there knows, recovery from addiction is a life long process.
IME it's damn hard to kick, hard to re-adjusted to life....then it's a cake walk. Everythings great. Dope? Fuck dope! This blissful period of "yes! I have my life back! I don't want that shit..." goes on for a bit.....then you get hit with some cravings here, some there....a little depression here, little there. Shit's still cool though, it passes fast......
Then you find yourself in the next phase of the struggle.....suddenly it isn't a 5 minute period of craving/feeling down...you find yourself feeling shitty for days, weeks, thinking about getting high constantly, etc....dreaming about the shit every night, having it right there ready to do, but never actually being able to do it....then waking up. You know the drill.
I recently went through a period of a couple weeks like this, and while I was at work the other day, I got to thinking about starting a thread in this forum where people that are battling with addiction...whether they are currently hooked, or struggling to stay clean, can reach out for support.
So yeah, if you need support & advice, post about it here.
 
--------------------
|
 PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 8,657
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 13 hours, 42 minutes
|
 Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626563 - 03/01/07 10:25 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
you captured my struggle perfectly.
Right now im in the "fuck yeah, i feel great, 1 week clean"..
but i am going to the coast and will be around party people forsure. We'll see if i can keep my head straight. I've actually, pretty much sold myself short - i know im going to party, but just for 2 days and then back to sober..
Cut ties with the connection, so unless im at the coast.. im shit outta luck.
Its strange to think your in control, but then to let go.
--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.
|
pB0t
Generic Shroomery Member
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 2,556
Loc: San Francisco, CA
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626627 - 03/01/07 10:51 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Today was my first day without a drink in a long time. I am probably going to go to an AA meeting this weekend just to sit and listen. I was going to go to one tonight but I missed it due to traffic.
I have been craving alcohol pretty much all day, trying to convince myself that there's no harm in having it, even though I know there is.
--------------------
5-MeOW-DMT
yageman said:
Dumb kids shouldnt even worry about trying salvia.
Dumb adults might want to give it a shot though.
|
pB0t
Generic Shroomery Member
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 2,556
Loc: San Francisco, CA
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626634 - 03/01/07 10:54 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Good thread idea BTW. 
--------------------
5-MeOW-DMT
yageman said:
Dumb kids shouldnt even worry about trying salvia.
Dumb adults might want to give it a shot though.
|
TheBulb2005
Human
Registered: 12/20/05
Posts: 309
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: pB0t]
#6626672 - 03/01/07 11:13 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
4 months clean of all drugs...I ALMOST decided to smoke weed this weekend but I decided against it. cant give in to the temptation
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626923 - 03/02/07 12:52 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
This is like the junky roll call but none the less I am here, Hooked struggling with life and shit but with plans of rehab in the near future but am just afraid of taking that step and actually doing it.
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
Nova
Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 736
Last seen: 11 days, 15 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#6627057 - 03/02/07 02:38 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Dark_Star said:
As everyone who's been there knows, recovery from addiction is a life long process.
IME it's damn hard to kick, hard to re-adjusted to life....then it's a cake walk. Everythings great. Dope? Fuck dope! This blissful period of "yes! I have my life back! I don't want that shit..." goes on for a bit.....then you get hit with some cravings here, some there....a little depression here, little there. Shit's still cool though, it passes fast......
Then you find yourself in the next phase of the struggle.....suddenly it isn't a 5 minute period of craving/feeling down...you find yourself feeling shitty for days, weeks, thinking about getting high constantly, etc....dreaming about the shit every night, having it right there ready to do, but never actually being able to do it....then waking up. You know the drill.
I recently went through a period of a couple weeks like this, and while I was at work the other day, I got to thinking about starting a thread in this forum where people that are battling with addiction...whether they are currently hooked, or struggling to stay clean, can reach out for support.
So yeah, if you need support & advice, post about it here.
Wow, exactly right. About a year ago I quit everything. After the first maybe 2 weeks clean, I felt great, all self rightous preaching to my friends how they shouldnt mess with drugs. Then after a couple of months I would have these random cravings but I would think 'no I don't want to end up there again'.
Then the dreams! ahh the dreams are horrible!!! Even after over half a year clean, I would have dreams where I would have gallon sized ziploc bags full of oc and I would always be trying to do em and get really close and then something would inturrupt me or I would wake up.
It's just always good to remember that if you are hooked on some substance, you aren't able to really live your life because your mind is litterally being controlled by something else. And if you aren't busy living you're basically dead.
|
CerebralFlower
whats left?
Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Nova]
#6627188 - 03/02/07 05:51 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
having something else to do positive that you actully enjoy helps take your mind off things that are troubling for it. If you can find a laid back job that you like, thats a good idea.
just think no matter how good the high was it is only trouble
--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire
Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6627294 - 03/02/07 07:01 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Good idea for a thread. There are a lot of members here with a lot of good advice to give in this area. And there are a lot that could use it. I'm gearing up for four drug-free weeks starting March 5 just to see what it's like.
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder 
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6628185 - 03/02/07 01:09 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Great thread, friend.
I gave myself the birthday present of not drinking alcohol, or sodas for a month. I may end up trying to cut out my soda drinking completely, but we'll see how that goes. I moderate everything in my life and lately, I haven't been moderating my alcohol use. It was starting to concern me, so I decided to kick it to the curb for a spell. Mostly, I just want to prove to myself that I can step away from it with no problems. So far so good. Life is too precious and short to get tied down by a substance. We have fought for our own personal freedom throughout the history of man, so why would we want to be slaves to our own wants? Control and moderation are essential to our happiness. Let's get to living, people! I love you all and only want you to live happy lives.
--------------------
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: PDU]
#6628372 - 03/02/07 02:08 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
i know im going to party, but just for 2 days and then back to sober..
That's playing with fire my friend, as I'm sure you know.....but having done that many, many times I really have no room to talk. 
Quote:
Its strange to think your in control, but then to let go.
Word, a lot of the times with me, I'd just stop caring and throw myself into it, because it felt so good. Bad idea to say the least.
Quote:
Today was my first day without a drink in a long time.
Right on brother! The first step is always the hardest.......keep on that path.
Quote:
I have been craving alcohol pretty much all day, trying to convince myself that there's no harm in having it, even though I know there is.
Get used to it.....this is something you're going to have face for a long time, though it will get easier with time. Just think enough is enough......you have your whole life ahead of you....you don't want it to pass you by. We're here whenever you need some moral support brother; that's why I started this thread. 
Quote:
4 months clean of all drugs...I ALMOST decided to smoke weed this weekend but I decided against it. cant give in to the temptation
Right on man, keep it up. I couldn't go that far.....I enjoy my psychedelics, herb & beer too much, though I use those moderately. Personally, I've found psychedelics to be the perfect medicine to help me keep me on the right path, though by no means am I suggesting you make exceptions if you're trying to be totally straight. You must have some serious willpower brother, that can take you far if you use it wisely. 
Quote:
Hooked struggling with life and shit but with plans of rehab in the near future but am just afraid of taking that step and actually doing it.
It's hard brother, I know that all too well. Feeling completely alone, completely fucked, totally hopeless...... But man, there IS light at the end of the tunnel; you CAN live without the shit, and moreover, you can be happy without it......you'll be a lot happier clean than you are now, I guarantee that. The kick's going to suck hardcore, but you can get through it. I always did it cold turkey.....used benzos and shit at times, but other than that...... It's the worst pain I've ever been though, and I've been through it more times than I can even remember.
Let go of your fear friend, that's the addiction......you're ready to be set free, ready to move on in your life. Take those steps NOW......."the near future" never comes. I know from saying it myself countless times. If/when you go to rehab, be sure to take it seriously.....it's still going to be hard work, you can't go in expecting that your problems will be solved in a snap. I watched friends go time after time....one went 4 times within 6-8 months. Each time "I'm done with shit now", each time was a failure.....in fact, 3 out of those 4 times this kid immediately went down to cop & sniff dope AS SOON as he got out!
We're here for you!
Quote:
Then the dreams! ahh the dreams are horrible!!!
Yeah man, for real.....
Quote:
I would have dreams where I would have gallon sized ziploc bags full of oc and I would always be trying to do em and get really close and then something would inturrupt me or I would wake up.
So I guess this is a universal symptom for recovering addicts.
Quote:
It's just always good to remember that if you are hooked on some substance, you aren't able to really live your life because your mind is litterally being controlled by something else. And if you aren't busy living you're basically dead.
Very well said brother! I felt very much dead when I was strung out, like a severely depressed zombie. All I wanted to do was fall asleep and never, EVER wake up. I get chills just thinking about it.
Quote:
I'm gearing up for four drug-free weeks starting March 5 just to see what it's like.
Good luck, it'll be a very interesting experience for you. You're going to learn just how long 4 weeks really is.
Quote:
I gave myself the birthday present of not drinking alcohol, or sodas for a month. I may end up trying to cut out my soda drinking completely, but we'll see how that goes.
Right on man, much luck to ya! Soda.....man, I've been trying unsuccessfully to cut that shit out of my diet for years. It's so bad for you, teeth especially, but giving it up is no easy task.
Quote:
I moderate everything in my life and lately, I haven't been moderating my alcohol use. It was starting to concern me, so I decided to kick it to the curb for a spell. Mostly, I just want to prove to myself that I can step away from it with no problems. So far so good.
Hell yeah....you caught it before it turned into something worse. That's what's up man, and a sign that your head's screwed on right. I wish I'd have done the same with opiates before that turned into a nightmare.
Quote:
Life is too precious and short to get tied down by a substance. We have fought for our own personal freedom throughout the history of man, so why would we want to be slaves to our own wants? Control and moderation are essential to our happiness. Let's get to living, people! I love you all and only want you to live happy lives.
Indeed! I love you all as well.
Much luck to you all, and please, don't be afraid to ask for help.....
That's why we're here.
--------------------
Edited by Dark_Star (03/02/07 02:10 PM)
|
PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 8,657
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 13 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6629731 - 03/02/07 08:39 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Im glad i dont have a contact anymore, soon ill be in school, and then working. No room for an addiction anymore!
just.. once, over this weekend.. right?
(excuses excuses - im sure we're all too familiar)
--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6629882 - 03/02/07 10:04 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I am just waiting on my girlfriend to come back here so I can use her as a crutch of sorts I hate life addicted to something I don't even wanna get high anymore I just dont wanna be sick 
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#6631298 - 03/03/07 11:08 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah man, I wished that I had someone to take care of me when I kicking...it fucking sucks as it is, being alone through it makes it even worse.
Quote:
I hate life addicted to something I don't even wanna get high anymore I just dont wanna be sick:(
Yup, I know what you mean, by the end I just wanted to be done with it....the shit didn't even get me high, just took away the sickness......didn't even make me happy, in fact it made me really irritable. The only reason I kept doing it was to keep the sickness at bay.
Just keep reminding yourself that you'll feel a million times better than you do now, after the kick and the sickness are over with.
--------------------
|
daytripper23
?
Registered: 06/22/05
Posts: 3,595
Loc:
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6631479 - 03/03/07 12:36 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
is scratching your balls kind of like addiction
--------------------
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!
|
pB0t
Generic Shroomery Member
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 2,556
Loc: San Francisco, CA
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: daytripper23]
#6633457 - 03/04/07 02:12 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Well, after three days sober I fucking lost it and got drunk again. I have been working 7 days a week lately and am stressed, trying to quit booze and cope with depression was too much for me. I could have stayed sober tonight if I had tried harder, but I was just like "What's the point?". I really think my alcoholism is tied to depression though. I am going to a psychiatrist on Thursday to get some long overdue professional help.
I never made it to the AA meetings I was going to check out. I'm not even sure if I want to quit drinking. It would be nice to not be getting drunk 4-8 times a week, but honestly, to never drink again ever? Seems impossible.
And I totally relate to people having dreams about their demon drugs. Last night I dreamt I was in a liquor store buying and sampling the finest whiskies, drinking beers with my friends, etc.
In anycase, not sure why I'm writing this, but to anyone reading who isn't addicted to anything, my advice is that you try to stay that way. The last three days of my life felt like a year. I never knew how dependent I was on alcohol before I tried to quit. Scariest of all was the "coming home" feeling I got tonight.
I am all for responsible drug use, but you have to actually be responsible and not get it fucked like I have done.
Tomorrow is another day.
--------------------
5-MeOW-DMT
yageman said:
Dumb kids shouldnt even worry about trying salvia.
Dumb adults might want to give it a shot though.
|
ShroomOmatic
Ethno Apprentice
Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 2,373
Loc: Sailing the Seas of Chees...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6634539 - 03/04/07 01:40 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Good idea for a thread DS. I've been clean of heroin for over a year now and it feels great. I still struggle with addiction though even after a year. Its what I used to fight depression and the problems that were going on in my life.
--------------------
|
adamj
Superhero
Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 1,561
Loc: Ontario, CAN
Last seen: 3 months, 18 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: ShroomOmatic]
#6635870 - 03/04/07 08:39 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I know it's not hardcore but I'm having a tough time kicking marijuana. I think because of the general idea that marijuana is a -- simple herb, a beginners drug, nothing serious, just weed -- I never gave a shit if I tried to quit for a week but then blazed two days into it. I just carried around that "whatever... it's just weed" feeling around.
If I kept count this is probably my 15th time quitting 
But now.. man... this past week was my reading week and I was smoking literally 10 times a day. Whenever I was sober I just felt such an urge to get stoned. Honestly I was stoned every waking hour.
I'll say it now - I have a problem.
|
hypnotiQ
Stranger
Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 7
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: adamj]
#6638127 - 03/05/07 02:44 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
My addiction is very serious. It's affected me in horrible ways and up to this point my life has been a disaster.
my addiction is.... computers. this virtual world we are in right now. I don't get out of the house or even away from the computer for hours upon hours. Sometimes I don't eat or sleep cause I'm too wrapped up in whatever I'm doing. It consumes me. I get very lonely because I've lost touch with the real people in my life. Now I don't have a job anymore so every day I wake up its a struggle not to sit down and get sucked into my virtual world. I can't even support myself and I'm skinny like I've been using meth. Alot of the times it feels like I'm using meth cause of the stimulation and radiation I get from the glow of the screen at night, every night sometimes til the sun comes up. The worst part is that this is my first time coming forward. I never ask for help from anyone. But people don't know how computers can be so addictive there needs to be more public awareness whether it be forum posting, checking the internet for news, playing games like everquest, or surfing online porn.
Today I didn't get out of bed til 3PM this afternoon. I was up doing mushrooms the night before til 7am this morning. I had done this the night before. (eating about 1-2 grams each night) It was only then (the fist night) that I realized I had this problem. I had feelings of depression and wanted to die. I wanted to go away to rehab to be treated by doctors. But then now on my 2nd trip this weekend I have taken it upon myself to sort through my own head and my own psyche and find out the underlying problem(s) through the use of ethenogens and through the power of expanded consciousness thinking. I believe that any problem can be solved through self-identifying.
My plan going forward is to pick up some melatonin. Though I have never used this hormone I have read that it works effortlessly to regulate sleep cycles. My hope tonight is to be in bed and sleep from starting at 2am to around 9 or 10am to curb the unnecessary psycho stimulation I receive each night when my mind would otherwise be telling me to go to sleep were it not for continuously receiving new visual information. My next step will be to go for a good long walk each morning and each night before I go to sleep my hope is that the fresh air and sun/moon light will help my general well-being and the expended physical energy will help me to feel more active rather then sitting at the computer playing games where hand eye coordination and visual/mental acuity is more important. Other steps I will be including is reading books for information and learning instead of reading on the web which is a more meandering endeavor where hours can pass by without knowing while recieving a flow of positively charged ions and electromagnetic radiation. AND to plan and categorize why I need to use the computer and to alott time periods for each task.
I will also continue to come to this thread and report to you and to me of my progress as sort of a journal.
PLUR
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: pB0t]
#6638411 - 03/05/07 04:01 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
pBOt, Just keep on trying brother, keep on trying....it'll take more than 1 try to get the job done, so don't feel bad. Everyone has relapses. I hear you on the AA meetings; I went to a few NA meeting and it didn't do it for me. At all. I either went all faded and nodding out, or sober and sick as dog.....the whole time thinking about getting a fix, and as soon as I could jet out of there I went and got some dope.
adamj, it's good that you're noticing a negative habit before you get into something worse. My advice would be to get out and do things; go for long hikes, go out to eat....try hanging out in places you usually don't. Take little road trips and see where you end up, as well as all the cool things you notice along the way. Sitting at home bored makes it 10x easier to pass the time under the influence of something. Also remember that moderation will make smoking herb much more enjoyable; you'll get really high, like you did back in the day....and you'll get more out of it. Plus save money, and feel better mentally & physically.
hypnotiQ, yeah man, the computer can be DAMN addicitive...and there isn't much awareness of this problem yet.
I agree with you about the entheogens; LSD was the driving force that broke me out of my addiction, and is a great medicine/aid in keeping me free. MDMA/MDA & shrooms have also played their parts, though to a lesser degree.
It sounds like you have the right idea there with the walks and reading too...that's key. If I were you, I'd take it a bit farther; when you get up, drink some coffee or tea, meditate....then go for a long hike. When you feel the urge to get on the computer go for a hike instead....go for a drive; the same advice I gave adamj goes for you my friend.
Quote:
I will also continue to come to this thread and report to you and to me of my progress as sort of a journal.
Right on brother, this is exactly what I had in mind when I started this thread. I'm glad the idea has caught on. :thumup:
--------------------
|
hypnotiQ
Stranger
Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 7
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6639207 - 03/05/07 06:45 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
LSD
MDMA
Mushrooms
Tea
Meditation
Hiking
check check double check. These are some of my favorite things in life. Now for some earl grey. Soothing.
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: hypnotiQ]
#6639353 - 03/05/07 07:17 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Can't forget the deemsters.
--------------------
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
 Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#6648101 - 03/08/07 07:28 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
WhiskeyClone said:
I'm gearing up for four drug-free weeks starting March 5 just to see what it's like.
Haha that lasted about 24 hours. 
My friend from BC whom I haven't seen in years decides to fly out for a visit. Wants to party when he arrives... What was I to do?
Said friend calls me yesterday, asks if I "need anything." I hesitate, then say "um, yes."
I think my problem is that I forgot why I wanted to take a break. And I never figured out how to handle certain situations. Back to the drawing board...
...once my stash is gone
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
OneMoreRobot3021
punky jewster
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,572
Loc: new york city
Last seen: 21 hours, 18 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#6648114 - 03/08/07 07:35 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I intended to not get intoxicated at all this week between Monday and Saturday. That ended Monday.
--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.
-Erik Davis
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
|
Quote:
Haha that lasted about 24 hours.
My friend from BC whom I haven't seen in years decides to fly out for a visit. Wants to party when he arrives... What was I to do?
Said friend calls me yesterday, asks if I "need anything." I hesitate, then say "um, yes."
I think my problem is that I forgot why I wanted to take a break. And I never figured out how to handle certain situations. Back to the drawing board...
 Yup......it NEVER fails. The story you just told resonates strongly with me, and probably most of us here....
Quote:
...once my stash is gone
It'll be magically replenished......
Quote:
I intended to not get intoxicated at all this week between Monday and Saturday. That ended Monday.
 I've been the same way with herb and beer (I only drink a couple a night, but it still gives me a buzz) lately.
--------------------
|
hypnotiQ
Stranger
Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 7
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6651340 - 03/08/07 10:39 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I was doing good til today. Spent all day and all night on the computer without leaving the house. Made a few important phone calls though (all the while sitting in front of my PC). And I cleaned up the house a little bit too. Did some pushups too (1 set of 15, then 1 of 10). I'm going to sleep tonight with a plan to walk to my friends house in the morning to go with him to the store to buy a fireplace. I'm glad I have plans to get out of the house tommorow morning but I've been having trouble sleeping at my new bedtime (which has slipped from 1-2am to 3-3:30am) and though I feel rested in the morning I still struggle to fall asleep. The melatonin which I scaled back from 9mg to 6mg yesterday doesn't help with falling asleep but I do feel like it's giving me a more quality sleep. I feel very rested in the morning but by the time I get out of bed its noon. Usually I wake up before that but I often feel like no reason to get up so I stay in bed and wack off.
Starting tonight I'm going to keep a sleep schedule (when I went to bed when I got out of bed) and I'm going to keep notes for how much exercise I do and how much sunlight(important because of winter blues/seasonal affective disorder) I take in.
Hopefully my weekend is eventful. I want to stay away from the house as much as possible. It's starting to warm up too it's just a matter of keeping myself occupied.
|
Cubieman420
Sharing in thegroove
Registered: 03/20/02
Posts: 2,693
Loc: Midwest
Last seen: 2 months, 16 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: hypnotiQ]
#6651587 - 03/09/07 12:22 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Went from all opiates, mainly oxy--->methadone taper--->Bupe taper...working on going to nothing in the next day or two. Just to sum a LOT up I was (and still am) a pretty severe opiate addict, I could rail 3 80's in a row and still not be there. This has been going on for almost 2 years of daily use.
--------------------
"...now waters run free, no more fish in the sea..."
1983-2004
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Cubieman420]
#6651805 - 03/09/07 02:46 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Still suck like chuck I need mad cash to go to rehab that I don't have or I need a oregon address so they think I am a resident and hook me up hella cheap.
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6652210 - 03/09/07 07:55 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
WTF is wrong with me... I went to get groceries yesterday and ended up going to a head shop instead and buying a new bong
Now I just need some groceries...
...and some willpower or something.
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
DR. PRIME
Mental M.D.
Registered: 12/14/06
Posts: 2,289
Loc: Chicago
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#6653647 - 03/09/07 04:34 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I've been clean for two months. At first I vortexed into depression because I guess I was chemically dependent. Then I eventually got out of it. I find it hard now on those boring days because there's nothing better to do. But I stay strong. I find that you're never really sober until the drugs are completely out of your system. It's weird. But you finally find the sober like when you were a child except now you're grown up. It's hard to explain but I felt it.You'll never know what I'm talking about until you're like 1 mo- 1 mo1/2 in so try it and you'll see what I mean.
But yeah you never know how dependent and fucked your head was until you stop. That's my take.
--------------------
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: DR. PRIME]
#6654091 - 03/09/07 07:09 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
--------------------
|
hypnotiQ
Stranger
Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 7
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6666311 - 03/13/07 06:58 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
struggling. 
|
Tasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 29 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: hypnotiQ]
#6673259 - 03/15/07 02:11 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
i've been done both cocaine and cigarettes for almost 3 months. love it.
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: hypnotiQ]
#6674101 - 03/15/07 06:07 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Keep on fighting brother...you can do this. I have faith in you!
Quote:
i've been done both cocaine and cigarettes for almost 3 months. love it.
Right on brother, keep it up!
--------------------
|
Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
|
 Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6679360 - 03/17/07 04:02 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I just wanted to say that i'm recognising my casual use of Heroin has the potential to turn into addiction.
So far in my drug career opiates have always been a favorite, and i'v been able to easily keep its use on the moderate side. However i'v been doing it every week on and off for a few months now, and i'm scared that i may slip into the big hole.
I think i can keep things casual, but if i don't address the core issues of my depresion, and most of the things my life being structured around drugs, and drug culture...
I don't know. I had to type this out, so that i can look back on it later.
--------------------
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6679638 - 03/17/07 08:54 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
So, I have been taking a break from alcohol and I gotta say that I can really feel a difference in the way that I feel on a daily basis! Every morning I wake up around 7:30am and just feel great! I am also not drinking sodas, coffee, or basically anything other than water and fruit juices. The urge to drink sodas has been the strongest, by far! Many times throughout my work day I will have these sudden strong urges to drink some soda. I thought the urge to drink alcohol would be alot stronger, but I haven't really thought about it much and I go and talk with my bartender friends almost daily. It's good to know that I hadn't gotten physically dependant on alcohol. I was really worried about that. It's been 3 weeks now and I have one official week to go, until I can drink again, but I am definitely going to lighten up on my drinking from now on. I have saved a ton of money, too! Those bar tabs sure do add up!
Anyway, good luck to you all in your personal struggles. I hope only the best for you.
--------------------
|
Sage
Human
Registered: 03/29/06
Posts: 308
Loc: Cali Valie
Last seen: 15 days, 3 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blissedout]
#6680277 - 03/17/07 12:48 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Hello, My name is Sage. I am an addict. its been 4 days since i have used heroin (smoked). I still do my "Medicinal Drugs" such as: Pot,Mushrooms,LSD,San Pedro. The past few days have been rough but I had Mr.Pot right by my side. Today I Threw some Psilocybin Neurotransmitters. into my brain(only a 1.1gram) Figuring that this would probably open my mind to other ways of piecing my life together.
I don't want to be an addict, But I am. Heres what my struggle was like:http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/6662263/an/0/page/0].
That was all it took for me to "stop the heroin cold Turkey", Thanks CUBErt good advice.
"http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=42&Number=6625871&page=1&fpart=1
Check that out whenever you feel the need to reach out brother. "
Big thanks to you Dark_Star. Outside of this "Internet Realm" I'm sure u are a very Happy human and one hell of a good friend to have.
Take care of your body.
Respect your mind.
Fallow your goals.
Love and Peace,
Sage (eardrums pwnd by Shpongle)
--------------------
Something intelligent...
|
Ferris
PsychedelicJourneyman
Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 11,529
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread *DELETED* [Re: Sage]
#6680761 - 03/17/07 03:02 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Post deleted by FerrisReason for deletion: .
--------------------
Discuss Politics
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Ferris]
#6710577 - 03/25/07 05:55 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Just tell yourself that the sooner you quit, the easier it will be. I wish that I'd kicked my addictions way sooner....I wasted a lot of time & money. Money can be replaced, time cannot.
--------------------
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Ferris]
#6715365 - 03/27/07 12:51 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I had no idea of your struggle with meth, Ferris. I did that shit on and off for about 18 months. This was a few years ago and now, I cringe evertime I think about smoking that shit! Thinking about doing a hotrail makes my stomach turn.
Give it up, man. That shit is no good!! I wish you luck in your goals.
On another note, I haven't had anything to drink other than water and fruit juice for Exactly a month, now. It was alot easier than I anticipated. I am going to continue on with not drinking sodas, but I think I will have a beer soon. I know now that I am not an alcoholic. I just like drinking good beer! It makes my mouth water sometimes to think about. I'm not going to go out to bars like I used to, though. I was amazed at how much money I saved by doing this! From now on, I am doing most of my beer drinking in the comfort of my own home. I have alot of things that I need to buy for our home and the days of pissing it all away are over.
Good luck and godspeed in getting through the hard times of all of you guys' struggles.
--------------------
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blissedout]
#6715514 - 03/27/07 01:51 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Good beer is a godsend man I swear
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#6715535 - 03/27/07 02:00 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I am going to have to agree 100%.
--------------------
|
badreligion2good
Uncertain
Registered: 02/21/06
Posts: 776
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blissedout]
#6717406 - 03/27/07 05:50 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I smoke too much pot. I have the same habit of deciding I'm going to quit, but not making it further than 72 hours. Its expensive and does not bring me the same pleasure it used to. I used to be somewhat hyper active before I started smoking, smoking chilled me out and made me less fidgety. Now when I don't smoke I feel like I'm cracked out or something. And boy do I get pissed off easy.
I'm applying for an apprenticeship with great opportunities, pay and benefits, that is going to require a drug test of me. I am hoping this last marijuana purchase will be the last for a while. I would like to pass the test without having to go through the discomfort of drinking a couple of gallons of water in a short period of time, all the while still worrying about the potential for a MJ positive test.
This is my life, and this is a great opportunity and failing this drug test will disqualify me for 2 years. This test is for the career I hope to have for many years.
Any advice, and support is appreciated.
--------------------
All I know is that I dont know.
Row, row, row, you boat, gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blissedout]
#6717538 - 03/27/07 06:24 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I'll have to third that...  
badreligion2good....my advice to you is to stop smoking altogether until after this test. If this is something that you really want to dedicate yourself too, then it's a sacrifice worth making. Good luck!
--------------------
Edited by Dark_Star (03/28/07 11:09 AM)
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
|
I agree with Darkstar on this. Your career is way too important to risk for a herb buzz. Just chill for awhile and then you'll be home free. You should try valium, in moderation, for anxiety.
--------------------
|
Baph
If I Ever NeedReligion illWorshipChocolate Cake
Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 84
Last seen: 8 months, 7 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blissedout]
#6719579 - 03/28/07 09:17 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Good day all.
I read all the posts in this thread and I love it.
On the other hand I seem to have the worst addiction to a chemical that is LEGAL.
We see it everyday.
This addiction is the most vile of all.
This addiction is Cigarettes.
I have been smoking them for 23 years and I have a real desire to stop.For the past 4 days I have been doing what I can to stop this vile addiction.
I have not completely stopped but,I have cut my intake down by 50%
This is not a easy addiction to rid myself of.
I have found that I am very irritable,very short tempered,and in general depressed due to the lack of this addictive substance,along with other psychological things.
I am trying to change my thought processes on how I have veiwed this substance.
I am SICK of waking up in the middle of the night feeling like I can't breath.
I wish to see my children graduate from school and see my future grandchildren."Cold Turkey" has not worked for me in this addiction like it did for Coke (which I was addicted to for 5 years)
I know that if I don't stop I will be dead in at least 10 years.
I do not want to take patches or pills or anything foreign of that nature to sublament my addiction to cigarettes,any comments or help with stoping cigarettes would be gretaly helpful.
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Baph]
#6719886 - 03/28/07 10:45 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
You have kids? If so, think of the bad image that you are potraying with your smoking. Hopefully, they won't follow by example, in that area.
--------------------
|
Baph
If I Ever NeedReligion illWorshipChocolate Cake
Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 84
Last seen: 8 months, 7 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blissedout]
#6720012 - 03/28/07 11:24 AM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
My children despise smoking.
They have the smarts of their mother 
|
Liz
Owl Lady
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Baph]
#6720404 - 03/28/07 01:00 PM (5 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Honestly, try the patch. I know you said you didn't want to use it, but it's wonderful. My fiance smoked for 11 years, sometimes up to 2-3 packs a day, and quit last January. He was MISERABLE, MEAN and had awful cravings until he put a patch on his arm. There are 3 steps to the patch, he wound up only needing it for the 1st step, and then was weaned off enough to stop using it all together. It really does make it less stressful, less painful for those around you, and most importantly it greatly increases your chances of succeeding in kicking the nasty habit.
Good luck!!
--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
|
sui
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 16,906
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Baph]
#6811645 - 04/20/07 02:35 AM (5 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
ciggarettes
god i hate them. I hate how everytime i smoke a ciggarete, im telling myself how much i hate them. I hate how right now a camel filter sounds pretty damn good. I hate how i have no real reason that i started smokeing. One day i didnt, the next i did.
i hate how natral it feels to smoke one, like its an extension of my hand.
I started smoking when i was 12 years old. i will be 21 in june so my habit has been going on for almost a decade. its scary. I really want to stop.
no cigs tomarrow. Itll be a good day to start. It will be 420, so i can smoke pot if i get cravings, and later tomarrow night im trying DMT for the first time. im really nervous. Hopefully itll help to have the fact that ill be thinking about stopping ciggarettes all day and ill get some insight from the experience. Psycedelics allways do that for me.
there was a while that if i tripped on LSD/Mushrooms if i had a pack of ciggarettes by the peak i had thrown the pack away, and eneded up buying another on the comedown when they gained their appeal back. this happened numerous times :lol
the psychedelics KNOW that its bad.
--------------------
|
Jackenobi
Hermes
Registered: 05/06/06
Posts: 1,355
Last seen: 3 months, 20 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: sui]
#6812327 - 04/20/07 08:21 AM (5 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Hi everyone, i feel i'd like to contribute to this thread and have used the reply to: suimush as cigarettes are probably my cardinal addiction of the moment.
I'd never thought of myself as one with an addictive personality, but here I am aged 23 years with a list of past and present addictions and the knowledge that i have a penchant for kind of 'downgrading' the addictive reflex, into other areas.
My biggest addiction to date: pot
I am no longer addicted to it, though i of course experience the peculiar mantra most posters here will recognise when i come into contact with it. I have casual relationships with the usual spectrum of other drugs up to the point of heroin or crack.
I'll just reel off the other areas i feel i am addicted so to clear my mind:
Cigarettes (non filtered rollies)
The Internet
Well whoops that seems to be it. Though i feel i allow myself to stagnate in many other areas of my life, mostly at home. I guess then i wanted to post because i feel i nonetheless have issues with the addictive reflex, it is always at the corner of my mind that i have a crutch socially or that i could be a lot more productive with my time, and so end each day feeling more fulfilled, like my life is being given meaning in personal advancement. Instead of how it is, how it seems to be.
For instance i'll sit at the internet, mindful that i have exhausted my interest after checking for messages, news and so on, but will feel incapable of turning it off. I'll think: ok so i'll use the computer for a little writing, but that pleasurable though i almost delibarately thwart by thinking 'oh but it'll be just more time at the computer so i'll check this site' then i end up spending two hours or so more grazing at the screen, true to form.
Like i say i dont feel i have any bombastic addictions (to common perception, like heroin for instance) but i do recognise the reflex. Even the guitar becomes part of it. I'll pick it up still staring at the screen and strum mindlessly, feeling an acute unhappiness at being so disconnected but not sitting down with it and learning a little, or practicing proper. Its stupid. Im trying to purge it now, at the internet, by getting the feelings out. It feels counter productive!
When i finally quit weed after truly being grabbed by the balls and sent down a dark and unpleasant path i moved onto cigarettes in earnest. I'm sick of them now and want to stop.
What i'm trying to get across, largely to myself, is that it is the mindset that causes me so much anger, or pain, or unhappy confusion. Even guitar! It seems like a cop out to pick it up because i am never truly attuned to the effort of creation, or learning. It needs to stop and if writing this can prove a positive or even monumental step as my mind of the now is urging it can, then all will be well!
How do i beat the mindset? I'm going to check back to this thread, as reading each personal account is interesting, if not sometimes heartening. Like the dude above (sorry i forget your name), maybe i should ration my hours. I definitely should. Maybe i am at a point after so many years of lazy addiction and solopsising i need to give myself a structure.
Get this: I am more or less a recovering schizophrenic. The past week, for the first time in many years, i have been showering every day! A step in the right direction for certain, even such a small thing feels really good. But i hope i can galvanize a kind of clean sweep, as much of one as i can handle or tolerate, into pursuing the path i want to travel, for real.
Apologies if this post is a little self indulgent, that is one of the concerns, the easy self indulgence i grant myself that ultimately leaves me feeling more barren than i otherwise might. I hope, as part of a forum for the communication and relation of ideas and feelings my account is of a little interest at least!
I'll finish with a quick tale of two friends and their coming battle with the booze:
One my housemate, one my neighbour, they've taken to drinking the cheapest white cider they can buy (£2/2ltr) at a disturbing regularity. The act of buying and drinking it, as students in digs, is reinforced by the cheapness as student kitsch and of course alcohol has its anaesthesiac effects also. They both fairly often complain of their unhappiness (i can only credit them so far, as i have a very different mindset from that which they display). They sit there and have drunken conversations of increasing ludicrousness, though i understand where they are coming from nonetheless. Talking of their gravestones, considering their relationship: discounting all else as fallacy, one proposed 'Chris, used to drink with Alex' One of the two described this elegy as 'glorious' with unstinting sincerity. Long story short, i can see as an outside party (i rarely drink much but water) how their attitude and actions are leading them to become alcoholics. They can see it too even. But they are caught in a downward slope i recognise from a heavy weed addiction (the never without it for many years kind, desperate to score sometimes... you know), where it seems all the more fun for it being 'bad'. Like a fun game where you are encouraging yourself but not truly in tune with you ultimately it will lead. Both these guys get the blue shakes now. Its ugly shit. I know how people are, at my age or in general or whatever and they are not going to listen to me if i nag them about it, though i have mentioned it. We'll see how it goes. I just tend to say 'i dont give a fuck you'll be hilarious friends to have for a while'. So whatever, i kind of felt a need to talk about that shit too.
I have a feeling i may have come across a little whiney or irrelevant here, the way i have expressed the manifestations of an addictive personality, or the little story. My root point is my own mental set up and its debilitation. The crux being, take my life into my own hands proper, improve, think, follow through with the ideas that encourage my heartmind as they occur throughout the day. Or suffer an ignomious existence, encroached instead by my minds own daily edicts of unhappiness and grasping depression.
And maybe that is a message that could stand to be heard in this thread. I'm going to start in earnest trying to better the depression that stagnating compulsion and addiction has caused. I'll check back later and let y'all know how its going! Myself too.
Thanks for starting a great thread dude and good luck one and all with their shiz. There was a lot that rang true with me, so thanks for sharing that too, it helps my understanding to recognise myself in others, for sure. I hope self introspection and getting the creative or reflective juices flowing helps my attitude develop as i hope it will. As it must.
Gratitude. Peace y'all.
--------------------
read books
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Jackenobi]
#6925823 - 05/16/07 03:40 PM (5 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
Well man, it sounds like you have a good idea of what you need to work on....that's the first step. Actually doing it is a whole different beast, but you can do it. You've got it in you, now do it up!
I'm sure most of you read that thread about the horrific tragedy in Ohio this past weekend, well, reading it really stunned & horrified me, and brought up a whole slew of emotions (from what I gathered from the thread, addiction played a major role). Having had problems with the same drug, and also having been at rock bottom and full of suicidal thoughts, albeit with no intention of going through with it (I was just drowning myself in heroin & coke; was lost, didn't know what I could do about it, and figured the drugs would finish the job eventually ), it really struck me to the core; I don't like hearing about those who lose the battle, and we're all brothers & sisters, so I feel the pain of all those involved.
Anyway, this was shortly before I went to bed, and I knew that it would play a part in my dreams, and sure enough, right before I woke up for the morning it did. In this dream I was with a few people at some sort of weird treatment place, and this dude shot a couple of us up with methadone. When it was my turn it literally felt EXACTLY like the hit from heroin....and I mean exactly.....it was as real as anything. I woke up shortly after, remembering all of it.....and it didn't effect me. At all! I haven't had any real cravings for months, nor have I had any dreams about it...but back when I used to dream about it I'd wake up with that dull ache....wishing I had some, and I never even got to get high in those dreams. This morning I experienced a full blown heroin rush in my dream, and woke up ready for the day, excited about upcoming events & with no desire for opiates at all. I thought "that wasa fucked up dream.....I knew something like that was going to happen".....but that's it; no aching, no cravings, nothing...... I'm doing my best to describe this and failing miserably, but anyone who's been an addict knows how amazing this is. I am truly blessed, and had to share this with all of you.......keep the faith my brothers & sisters, you can all make it.
One more thing; in light of the recent tragedy this needs to be said; NEVER give up; there is ALWAYS hope. May my story give all who are struggling hope & strength to keep on keeping on, and get their lives back. You can do it. Seriously.
Much Luck, Love & Light
--------------------
|
nakors_junk_bag
Lobster Bisque
Registered: 11/23/04
Posts: 2,415
Loc: ethereality
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6930461 - 05/17/07 01:14 PM (5 years, 15 days ago) |
|
|
Its been quite awhile since I have had the alcohol. Man, I feel great. Jan 30 was the last time I drank anything, and it seems tot me that my thought processes have changed dramatically. My life is filled with hope again, although that may be due in large part to the fact that I have found a resolution regarding all my charges. I am no longer looking at a 15 year prison sentence, although if I violate probation I will do three. Still I can think clearly, my soul is starting to resurface after it buried itself in deep to protect itself from the dead of chronic and habituated drunkenness. Life is again fraught with color and enchantment> I feel awesome, I also shook off a pretty bad coke habit too. I have never felt this good. One day at a time.
Its kinda a scary knowing at any minute if I let my guard down I could slide right back into old patterns. Its terrifying actually. I mean I really love the way a good Pale Ale tastes, and the way a fresh rail of some fire coke feels as it snakes its way into your core. I just have to constantly remind myself that to fuck up now is o go back to prison, and worse still disappoint all my people. To fuck up now is to slide back down the mountain that is addiction, I am running out of energy and may not make it up again.
I never really was one for the whole N.A, A.A thing. Its just not my swagger. Still, if it works for you, eat your heart. None-the-less it is one day at a time. I must remain forever vigilant. My plan is for the next three years to use the external motivator liberty as my will to stay clean, then when that is handled I will cross that bridge when I get there.
Anyone wants to talk about whatever, hit me up pm. I will send a number you can get a hold of me at and we ca vibe awhile.
Good luck, and delightful trails.
P-yeace.
Nakor
--------------------
Asshole
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
|
Congratulations brother, keep up the good work!!!!!
I gotta agree with you on the NA/NA thing.....it's definitely not for me, and IMHO the attitude on life and dealing with addiction there is pretty depressing and lame, but to each his/her own.... Whatever works best for ya.
Willpower my brothers & sisters; you can do whatever you put your mind too.
--------------------
|
Jackenobi
Hermes
Registered: 05/06/06
Posts: 1,355
Last seen: 3 months, 20 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6932278 - 05/17/07 09:10 PM (5 years, 15 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Dark_Star said:
Well man, it sounds like you have a good idea of what you need to work on....that's the first step. Actually doing it is a whole different beast, but you can do it. You've got it in you, now do it up!
Thanks for the big up!
Fucked up shit been going on community-wise, i wont say it puts it in perspective, it seems all one perspective. But you gotta remember what you've got: the will to carry through, the will to power.
Big props y'all
--------------------
read books
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Jackenobi]
#6934612 - 05/18/07 11:27 AM (5 years, 14 days ago) |
|
|
By community do you mean the shroomery? If so I agree 100%; I love this community very, very much.....I've learned so much from it, and met a lot of wonderful people through it. However, it's really changed a lot and lately I've found myself unable to get too involved in the posting. My RL has been rapidly changing/accelerating lately, in an extremely postive way, and while I'll always be around to keep in touch, there's a lot of other things going on in my life that I need to devote myself to.
This is by no means a goodbye; I'll always check up on the goings on here, and add my thoughts when the spirit moves me, as well as keep up correspondence with some folks that I've formed a strong kinship with. The Shroomery and all it's members will always hold a very special place in heart, however; my life/path is moving in other directions, and I need to go with the flow.
As I said though, I'll always check in, so if anyone needs to talk, please PM me whenever....it might take me a bit to get back to you, but I'll check things out as often as I can.
Much Love, Light & good luck to you all!
--------------------
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#7047731 - 06/14/07 07:58 PM (4 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Man I just remembered about this thread I really think this should be sticky. I have been having a really hard time lately I got busted with some heroin I lost my job I lost my car am really close to loosing my apartment and on top of it all my fiance left me a couple months ago life really sucks I have cut myself down to using just enough to keep me well I havent even done any dope today just ate about 100mgs of morphine so I can sleep tonight. Life fucking sucks big time man It really does I am working on getting into a detox program I just need to get a new ID and 50 bucks and they will put me on suboxone to anyone reading this just getting into opiates watch your ass they will get ya before ya know it
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,776
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 9 days, 11 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#7049443 - 06/15/07 11:50 AM (4 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
dobie said:
Man I just remembered about this thread I really think this should be sticky.
I'm on it, holmes!
Dobes, gonna make it to Ohio this year?
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
|
I doubt it man I am so broke I can't even pay attention bro
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
DAVID_ALLAN_CEO
Resident Gambler
Registered: 10/29/06
Posts: 330
Loc: Grand Casino Tunica
Last seen: 1 day, 12 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#7081737 - 06/22/07 09:12 PM (4 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
dobie said:
M to anyone reading this just getting into opiates watch your ass they will get ya before ya know it
word
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#7092543 - 06/25/07 08:35 PM (4 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I'm really sorry to hear this brother. Keep the faith though, sometimes you have to go all the way down before you can rise above.
Quote:
I lost my job I lost my car am really close to loosing my apartment and on top of it all my fiance left me a couple months ago life really sucks
Just don't forget that you still have friends, and more importantly you still have life. Now's the time to start pulling yourself back up; the rest will all fall back into place. It'll be a long battle, and a long climb, but you can do it, and it'll be worth it!
Quote:
I have cut myself down to using just enough to keep me well I havent even done any dope today just ate about 100mgs of morphine so I can sleep tonight.
I remember those times well; grim, but the end of those times.....new times, better times, happier times & more successful times are around the corner.
Quote:
to anyone reading this just getting into opiates watch your ass they will get ya before ya know it
Word up.
We're here for ya brother.
--------------------
|
oso
man
Registered: 09/27/06
Posts: 158
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#7176886 - 07/14/07 09:19 PM (4 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
permanent.
--------------------
"When tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign foe."
James Madison
Edited by oso (09/30/07 07:37 PM)
|
PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 8,657
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 13 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: oso]
#7203022 - 07/20/07 02:27 PM (4 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
I do lots of ketamine.
Probably more ketamine than most people can imagine. A couple grams a day most weeks.
I make myself sick, horrible stomach pains - i think i might have ulcers. Sometimes i puke in the morning, really bad nausea.
its a love hate relationship - as of today ive been high for a week straight. Ill do 4 lines at a time...
im in a situation where im happy and everything is going my way, i can afford to be an addict.. mostly.
More or less im in debate with myself over wether its worth it to be this messed up. Is it ethical.. i find myself easily able to justify my situation...
Ive got my bills paid, a wonderful relationship, eat pretty healthy, have a nice house, an easy going lifestyle, good friends, etc..
The main thing is.. i have nothing to focus on.. im 21, i should be going to school or have a direction in life but really - im just meandering along.
My parents are going to help me buy a truck this summer - that should force some responsibility upon me.. *shrugs*
--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: PDU]
#7204652 - 07/20/07 09:49 PM (4 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
PDU said:
im in a situation where im happy and everything is going my way, i can afford to be an addict.. mostly.
I don't know anything about ketamine, but if this is a time when everything is going your way, maybe it is the perfect time to put an end to it. It's much harder to kick anything when everything is not going your way.
If not now, when?
Or is it never?
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 8,657
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 13 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7245467 - 07/31/07 09:12 PM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
good question. Im hoping to clean up in the fall... right now the summer is too much temptation and slack..
--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: PDU]
#7246704 - 08/01/07 06:58 AM (4 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
Whatever you have to do... but remember, winter is usually lonelier and boringer.
Good luck dude.
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
Robot Attack
Death Defying!
Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 4
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7343260 - 08/28/07 04:08 AM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Ech, I hate the thought that I'm going to forever be a struggling addict. You know the people that feel they struggle with sexual entanglement their whole life? Or the ones that have trouble eating too much/unhealthily? I'm neither. My one vice is substance abuse, and I fear that's how it will always be.
It doesn't bother me too much after having struggled through multiple painful withdrawals, I know I have the will power to stay off for a while. But what bothers me is that i don't feel like I'm able to use a substance responsibly. I can never just "keep something around" like my girlfriend can. If it's there, it's going to be used.
Oh the joys and pains of opiates. I even know why I feel the need to use them. A lot of people talk of opiates making them not care, well opiates make me do care. They make me care alot more than usual, they intensify my feelings, which I don't feel are strong enough usually, which in part is due to a relationship where I ignored my gut feelings for a long time when i was being treated like shit.
My family history doesn't lend itself much to avoiding substance abuse either, part Native American, part Lithuanian, and a whole slew of northern Europeans as well.
Well here's to those of us that know we're here. Good luck, 'cause I sure as hell need it.
|
LiFe_Trip
Mystic tripper
Registered: 08/27/07
Posts: 53
Loc: Québec, Canada
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
|
|
Well, I've started smoking weed about a year ago, this summer I started smoking almost everyday. I've had fun during this summer, but now my parents found out (yeah, I still live home which ain't a bad thing), I can see the sadness in their eyes and the lost of hope for me, they told me about addiction and all which I didn't really believe a word (well, I thought I was better than addiction). So, after a little conversation with the old folks, I've decided to stop, as I don't want them to be sad and all and I need to take myself back for school (I've passed the first week of school stoned).
So here I am, I've been on this forum, reading and documenting myself since I am an adept of mushroom (I do them about once a month or 2). I searched on the forum for this kind of thread and here I am.
I didn't think it would be so hard, I always think about smoking, everything that bother me seems to be enhanced badly, black ideas ... I always thought of weed as ... well ... weed. I knew I had an addictive personnality so it doesn't really suprise me in the end.
The biggest surprise was this morning, (I've cleaned my stuff yesterday and told friends to stop calling me to hang on around weed), I had the first real morning, I opened my eyes at 7am, jumped out of bed with such energy that it surprised me.
Anyway, good luck everybody, watch out for boring moments, they are the hardest.
--------------------
Shrooms are something any lost human being should try. Why think sober when you can trip and explore your mind out of the consciousness stress.
Edited by LiFe_Trip (09/20/07 09:04 AM)
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
|
Quote:
LiFe_Trip said:
Well, I've started smoking weed about a year ago, this summer I started smoking almost everyday. I've had fun during this summer, but now my parents found out (yeah, I still live home which ain't a bad thing), I can see the sadness in their eyes and the lost of hope for me, they told me about addiction and all which I didn't really believe a word (well, I thought I was better than addiction). So, after a little conversation with the old folks, I've decided to stop
Good for you. You are lucky that you didn't let it drag on for years like so many of us.
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
blkjkrabbit
Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: pB0t]
#7453447 - 09/25/07 08:04 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
I'm trying to kick cigarettes for the third time starting today...I got so pissed at myself for still smoking even when I know it's a filthy and disgusting habit. I handed a co-worker what was left of my pack and WILL quit - this time for good. I hate cigarretes because you get locked into a pattern/routine where it's not even about smoking anymore - it's just your routine. I've gone months at a time in the past without smoking but will somehow manage to slip once or twice and get hooked right back on into my routine - the problem for me is that I'm completely surrounded by it. EVERYONE at school smokes, and damn near everyone at my job smokes too. 
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7455479 - 09/26/07 10:53 AM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
You have to have something else to do for every single occasion you normally have a cig.
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
blkjkrabbit
Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7457849 - 09/26/07 08:52 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
exactly. I've broken out of my routine and don't hang around the smokers outside. Started day 1 off right with no cigs
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7459897 - 09/27/07 10:27 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Good show
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
SHR00M0L0GIST
Psilocybin GOD
Registered: 11/26/02
Posts: 624
Loc: Mescaland
Last seen: 4 months, 30 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7511001 - 10/11/07 08:59 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Candy and gum works miracles. Of course, most important is a strong will.
|
PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 8,657
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 13 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: PDU]
#7531231 - 10/18/07 12:19 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
My last post read:
Quote:
PDU said:
good question. Im hoping to clean up in the fall... right now the summer is too much temptation and slack..
Now it is fall, and i haven't done K in a couple weeks. Feeling great, if not a little bored. However, the blessing is, the connections have been severed (through issues of theirs, unrelated.)
When i think of maybe doing a little k, sometime in the future im filled with a deep seated sense of revulsion for myself. I feel the pain ive caused my friends and myself much more in this current moment of clarity, you might say, perspective has never been clearer.
I used to gloat in the fact i could be a sustainable drug addict, but am hoping to rebuild myself before its too late (as im 22 now).. into something productive mentally/physically/spiritually and ambition wise.
--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,474
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: PDU]
#7531240 - 10/18/07 12:23 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Right on man
Don't let your guard down
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
marshalldylan1
Stranger
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 2,485
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7531834 - 10/18/07 02:50 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I'm going to try and self-detox this weekend from opiates. Does anyone have any advice? Anything I can do to fight off the withdrawals?
My dealer was busted, and has to go to jail, so I won't be able to get anymore. I figured this was a good time to try and self detox. I also happen to be going to Voodoo Music Festival the 26th to the 28th. I don't want to be miserable while there, and the supply I have right now wouldn't last until then.
So, what are some things I can use to get off this shit? I plan to get some benzos, but I may not be able too. Any OTC drugs I can use?
Tonight will be my last nod....
Wish me luck.
|
PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 8,657
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 13 hours, 42 minutes
|
|
Goodluck and better times to you man.
--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.
|
sleepy
zZzZzZzZz
Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 3,888
Loc:
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: PDU]
#7582035 - 10/31/07 06:07 PM (4 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
grateful dead is my anti everything
|
psilotatsic
useless
Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Here
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: sleepy]
#7639954 - 11/15/07 01:10 PM (4 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Ive been struggling for years guys.. i no sometimes it gets so hard you never think your goin make it.. stick wth it.. go workout something..
Anyways here i go again over a week clean but i know its not even the hard part yet
Atleast im not sick fucking opiates
--------------------
"Those whoe truely get high never come back"
|
psilotatsic
useless
Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Here
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: psilotatsic]
#7671800 - 11/23/07 05:25 PM (4 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Lol fucking got 15 stamps the other night and now im hurting all over all over again
Why do fucking clinics charge?
--------------------
"Those whoe truely get high never come back"
|
large_dose
Melonhead
Registered: 05/05/06
Posts: 1,323
Loc: Right in the Middle
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: psilotatsic]
#7684113 - 11/26/07 11:07 PM (4 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
done with it.
Edited by large_dose (03/11/08 07:53 PM)
|
Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: large_dose] 1
#7699156 - 11/30/07 12:54 PM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
uuggg here it goes:
My life is a mess, and i use heroin a lot. However i don't have the cut and dried struggles/triumphs of an addict.
I'v been going steady for ??? a year or two mabey? and i'v never binged to the point of a physical addiction. But i shoot up a lot. And i'm depressed all the time.
And i want to be happy, but i'm stuck in a cycle of deppression. It would be great if i could say "oh if only i quit the junk it would be the first step to a happy life" but thats simply not the case.
I get high some days, than i may be sober for a week. Sometimes two.
And i have nothing in life to go to any more. All friends are gone.
So i go downtown, and i get a $20 balloon, and i take it home, and shoot half, and feel a familiar warmth, and sense of acomplishment. It makes me feel as if i was a better man.
Than depending on how strong it is, i shoot the other half, and i nod off on the back porch, and smoke ciggerettes, or lay down, and want it to feel like it used to. Want that bulldozing wave of euphoria, accompanied by the sense of complete well being, and the buetiful heroin dreams.
I rarely get anything close to that. Just feel pretty good, and a little fucked up.
Do i have to hit rock bottom to bounce up, and redeem myself, because it might be a LONG descent.
The Heroin used to be for fun, and now i run to it whenever i feel stressed, or deppressed, or bored. Which is ALL the time.
I could quit, but i don't think it will do any good. It won't solve any imediate or long term problems, as it won't help them either.
Am i in denial? I have to be to a certain extent, because everyone tells me i'm an addict. That the only thing heroin will ever do is make me dead or in prison.
They all turn there backs on me, because they believe that it will make me quit, and solve all my problems. I don't listen to them, and let them hurt us for giving the ultimatum, but the question still stands.
--------------------
|
Love Cap
Wanderer
Registered: 09/16/07
Posts: 397
Loc: somewhere in the plains
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dreamer987]
#7700832 - 11/30/07 08:09 PM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
why don't you actually quit for a while, then tell everyone you quit.. and see how that goes? time can heal things.
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Robot Attack]
#7709450 - 12/03/07 12:26 AM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
First off, to everyone I hope that you are are doing well on your paths. I cannot access the internet very often, but I wanted to let you all know I'm still out there, and still thinking about all of you.
Much Love & Light.
Quote:
Robot Attack said:
Ech, I hate the thought that I'm going to forever be a struggling addict. You know the people that feel they struggle with sexual entanglement their whole life? Or the ones that have trouble eating too much/unhealthily? I'm neither. My one vice is substance abuse, and I fear that's how it will always be.
I don't like being the buzzkill, but man, ya gotta face the facts head on if you want to recover, and the fact is that the consequences last for a very long time. If that comes off s harsh, than I apologize; ya gotta be 100% honest about it with yourself before you can really recover. I'm still struggling to adapt to this myself, but perseverance and faith will get through it. Faith in yourself, and whatever reasons you have for moving on and progressing in your life.
Keep the hope and faith alive my friend; it's not going to be any easy road, but it's the path with the light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote:
what bothers me is that i don't feel like I'm able to use a substance responsibly. I can never just "keep something around" like my girlfriend can. If it's there, it's going to be used.[
Quote:
Oh the joys and pains of opiates. I even know why I feel the need to use them. A lot of people talk of opiates making them not care, well opiates make me do care. They make me care alot more than usual, they intensify my feelings, which I don't feel are strong enough usually, which in part is due to a relationship where I ignored my gut feelings for a long time when i was being treated like shit.
Famous last words dude. That's called the honeymoon period, and it doesn't last. You don't want to know where this road will lead you, trust me on that.
I wish you much love and luck on your journey my friend, remember that you can do this; it's all inside.
--------------------
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#7747951 - 12/12/07 01:52 AM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
dobie said:
Man I just remembered about this thread I really think this should be sticky. I have been having a really hard time lately I got busted with some heroin I lost my job I lost my car am really close to loosing my apartment and on top of it all my fiance left me a couple months ago life really sucks I have cut myself down to using just enough to keep me well I havent even done any dope today just ate about 100mgs of morphine so I can sleep tonight. Life fucking sucks big time man It really does I am working on getting into a detox program I just need to get a new ID and 50 bucks and they will put me on suboxone to anyone reading this just getting into opiates watch your ass they will get ya before ya know it
Well I have offically been clean for 17 days now. It took me going to jail and being forced to detox but I feel great now. My life was in the shitter and now its starting to look good again. I got my ass off the streets and into my parents house again. Sometime this week I am getting into a program too which should help alot. I am still having useing dreams almost everynight when I can sleep, But other than that I feel great I am so glad to be off dope.
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,934
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 4 months, 3 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#7779887 - 12/19/07 09:53 PM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Man Ive had a drinking problem for quite some time now and could really use some help or advice, today is day one of no booze, I had some kava tincture to relax but thats it so far. Whats your guys opinion on weed and being an alcoholic? Ive been trying to kick now and for the last half a year and the longest I made it on my own without booze was three weeks but I was smoking like a chief the whole time? Do you guys think I just need to steer clear of all chemicals altogether or what? In other words do you think weed will eventually make me relapse into alcohol? I guess only I would know the answer to that, but what has been your experiences?
PS sorry for the double post since I made this in another thread but this is a crisis for thanks for the patience folks.
--------------------
-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
|
implee
Cyber Hippie
Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 5,823
Loc: Houston, Texas.
Last seen: 8 days, 13 hours
|
|
Im hooked on Jenkem.
Not really but Ive been sober for like 3-4 months except for dosing mushrooms a few times and getting high a few times. Ive been clean from cocaine for probably... One whole year now too... Thats pretty major because we used to get an ounce of regular pot (texas/mexico) every few days and an 8ball a day.
High five for being semi sober
|
wowitch17
Growery is Better
Registered: 01/10/06
Posts: 8,541
Loc: Chile
Last seen: 22 hours, 59 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dreamer987]
#7837477 - 01/05/08 09:08 PM (4 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Dreamer987 said:
uuggg here it goes:
My life is a mess, and i use heroin a lot. However i don't have the cut and dried struggles/triumphs of an addict.
I'v been going steady for ??? a year or two mabey? and i'v never binged to the point of a physical addiction. But i shoot up a lot. And i'm depressed all the time.
And i want to be happy, but i'm stuck in a cycle of deppression. It would be great if i could say "oh if only i quit the junk it would be the first step to a happy life" but thats simply not the case.
I get high some days, than i may be sober for a week. Sometimes two.
And i have nothing in life to go to any more. All friends are gone.
So i go downtown, and i get a $20 balloon, and i take it home, and shoot half, and feel a familiar warmth, and sense of acomplishment. It makes me feel as if i was a better man.
Than depending on how strong it is, i shoot the other half, and i nod off on the back porch, and smoke ciggerettes, or lay down, and want it to feel like it used to. Want that bulldozing wave of euphoria, accompanied by the sense of complete well being, and the buetiful heroin dreams.
I rarely get anything close to that. Just feel pretty good, and a little fucked up.
Do i have to hit rock bottom to bounce up, and redeem myself, because it might be a LONG descent.
The Heroin used to be for fun, and now i run to it whenever i feel stressed, or deppressed, or bored. Which is ALL the time.
I could quit, but i don't think it will do any good. It won't solve any imediate or long term problems, as it won't help them either.
Am i in denial? I have to be to a certain extent, because everyone tells me i'm an addict. That the only thing heroin will ever do is make me dead or in prison.
They all turn there backs on me, because they believe that it will make me quit, and solve all my problems. I don't listen to them, and let them hurt us for giving the ultimatum, but the question still stands.
I want everyone thats struggling with heroin to read this, and know that he is in fact dead now. A lot of people are sad/hurt/angry because of his death. He was wrong when he said he had no friends, bu t its too late for that shit now.
--------------------
|
fapjack
Slap my sack
Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 7,405
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 8 days, 3 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: wowitch17]
#7837781 - 01/05/08 10:30 PM (4 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Well at least he doesn't have to struggle with heroin addiction anymore. It sucks, but he knew the dangers as soon as he picked up the needle.
--------------------
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#8096620 - 03/03/08 07:20 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
It's been like 72 hours since last dosing, I'm shivering and sweaty, shit and puke, but I'm still happy to be stopping. I seriously underestimated opiates!
How long does this shit last?
|
xshadowmage666x
*opiate enthusiast*
Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 3,047
Loc: Right Here, Right Now
Last seen: 26 days, 23 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#8096626 - 03/03/08 07:25 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
dobie said:
This is like the junky roll call but none the less I am here, Hooked struggling with life and shit but with plans of rehab in the near future but am just afraid of taking that step and actually doing it.
You should all check out my thread titled "addiction" I had tons of great input to help me through my struggle, im sure you remember that eh dobie?
Just reading it prior to going about my day would help me. I have honestly gotten more support from fellow shroomerites than in everyday life.
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/7960463/an/0/page/3
--------------------
"It is the prayer of my innermost being to realize my supreme identity in the liberated play of consciousness, the Vast Expanse. Now is the moment, Here is the place of Liberation. " -alex grey
|
marshalldylan1
Stranger
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 2,485
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
|
Quote:
marshalldylan1 said:
I'm going to try and self-detox this weekend from opiates. Does anyone have any advice? Anything I can do to fight off the withdrawals?
My dealer was busted, and has to go to jail, so I won't be able to get anymore. I figured this was a good time to try and self detox. I also happen to be going to Voodoo Music Festival the 26th to the 28th. I don't want to be miserable while there, and the supply I have right now wouldn't last until then.
So, what are some things I can use to get off this shit? I plan to get some benzos, but I may not be able too. Any OTC drugs I can use?
Tonight will be my last nod....
Wish me luck.
Haha, last nod my ass.
Well, I'm gonna try and quit again. These opiates are affecting my school so much. I never get up for class in time cause I usually wake up sick.
I'm tired of having to explain where all my money is going to the rents, tired of having to constantly think about those damn opiates.
Let's see if it'll stick this time.
|
Freeker
jackaroe
Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 2,225
Loc: buffalo
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#8118502 - 03/08/08 12:17 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
i'm addicted to dope ,
right now its like a calm before the storm,
i do it when no one is around, and i'm performing fine at work and home
but i know its going to ruin me
i've been trying to pull away, this thread makes it easier
|
aDoS
freedom lover
Registered: 06/18/05
Posts: 7,590
Loc: land of the free
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Freeker]
#8355468 - 05/02/08 07:33 PM (4 years, 29 days ago) |
|
|
I know this thread is dead...but I feel like I want to tell someone this. Today is my 16th day without any drugs...and its absolutely horrible...how do people do this shit. I really can't even imagine life without drugs.
--------------------
"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley
GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH
|
xshadowmage666x
*opiate enthusiast*
Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 3,047
Loc: Right Here, Right Now
Last seen: 26 days, 23 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: aDoS]
#8360888 - 05/04/08 09:57 AM (4 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
yeah its some hard shit man i have fell back into my old fucking ways and i hate it.
--------------------
"It is the prayer of my innermost being to realize my supreme identity in the liberated play of consciousness, the Vast Expanse. Now is the moment, Here is the place of Liberation. " -alex grey
|
recycledsoul
Stranger
Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 54
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#8368959 - 05/06/08 01:04 PM (4 years, 25 days ago) |
|
|
meditation will totally end your addiction
--------------------
Listen to what the universe wants you to do, be happy
listen to what the mind wants you to do, be miserable
just be Here. Reality as it is, dont change it as you would like it to be, just observe, no repression, no expression
|
fapjack
Slap my sack
Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 7,405
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 8 days, 3 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: aDoS]
#8369192 - 05/06/08 01:52 PM (4 years, 25 days ago) |
|
|
It sucks dude, but it gets better. I'll be 20 months clean on the 20th and it gets a lot better. The first few months suck, but it gets better everyday. Soon you will be doing all sorts of fun shit you forgot about while being strung out. Life gets much better, trust me, just hold on.
--------------------
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#9971391 - 03/14/09 03:23 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I'm not usually one to bump a dead thread, shit, today's the first time I've even logged on in months....but after really turning my life around, working out on a daily basis, back in martial arts, working on my recovery...just really making a lot of genuine progress for the first time since it all began, I threw it all away a few weeks ago for no fucking reason whatsoever. So here I am, on my second opiate-free day, once again, feeling like shit, pissed off at myself, hurt, confused, yadda yadda yadda. Maybe everyone's right, and I am a lost cause, a broken record. I don't want to believe that though. I've made the progress before, I can do it again. The question is why I'm once again in this position? I don't know, I'm just kinda lost right now and throwing it out there.
--------------------
|
sunflower
We're here....
Registered: 08/19/06
Posts: 551
Last seen: 5 days, 15 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#9971652 - 03/14/09 04:04 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Just start now and be what you want
--------------------
|
Sage
Human
Registered: 03/29/06
Posts: 308
Loc: Cali Valie
Last seen: 15 days, 3 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: sunflower]
#9973628 - 03/14/09 09:49 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Hang I there man. Dont forget...
life without dope gives hope for your life.
yea you can quote me...
Sage
--------------------
Something intelligent...
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Sage]
#9978680 - 03/15/09 08:21 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Thank you both for looking out. I was pretty blase about it until yesterday, then I got really down about it. I had such high hopes & aspirations for 2009 to be different.
--------------------
|
Sage
Human
Registered: 03/29/06
Posts: 308
Loc: Cali Valie
Last seen: 15 days, 3 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#9979303 - 03/15/09 10:25 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
You still have a chance. 2009 just started.
This is one quote that keeps me going....
"You can't always get what you want, But if
you try sometimes you just might find
you get what you neeeeed. OOh yes, Woo!"
Rolling Stones-
Makes me realize that I really do get what
I need. Thats just what I needed to get on
the wagon.
Sage
--------------------
Something intelligent...
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Sage]
#9981544 - 03/16/09 11:41 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Word brother.
--------------------
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#9999073 - 03/19/09 12:57 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Brother, you know that I always pull for you. Do it for me. Focus on blissedout.;)
--------------------
|
Ferris
PsychedelicJourneyman
Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 11,529
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread *DELETED* [Re: blissedout]
#9999081 - 03/19/09 12:59 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Post deleted by FerrisReason for deletion: .
--------------------
Discuss Politics
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Ferris]
#9999119 - 03/19/09 01:18 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I smoked about 12 cigs tonight and I plan on doing at least a gram of molly this weekend.
Not thatthere is an addiction involved though. Maybe the cigs...
Molly I just love.
--------------------
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: blissedout]
#10042444 - 03/25/09 09:30 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Brother, you know that I always pull for you. Do it for me. Focus on blissedout.
Thanks brother, I'm really stoked that I'm going to finally get to meet you in person and get down at Rothbury this summer. Shit's gonna be tits.
Quote:
Since I posted in this thread a while back, I think an update is appropriate
CLEAN FROM METH SINCE SEP/2007
I also haven't had a cigarette in over a month
Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man!!!!!!!!!
Dude, high fives all around, that's awesome! Congratulations, and keep up the good work. You're an inspiration my friend!
--------------------
|
dieselkush
Stranger
Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 582
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#10042590 - 03/25/09 09:52 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I know mine is nothing compared to some of the people here, but... im trying to get off of mj and prescription pills. Ive tried to quit many times and have gone through the stages in the 1st post. but my problem is where I live this stuff is easy to get, and is in the house constantly. so when I quit I do good for a week then about the second week my mind starts turning to the substance. it passifys me, calms me to the devestation of this world and makes me not think clearly. plus I do not learn as fast or quick as if I was sober. but for some reason as long as I have it to fall back on im in a good mood, and have motivation.without it to fall back on at the end of the day or during the day I am in a shit mood, and have no motivation. how do I take the steps to get off of it permanetly. I am wanting to get an education,but I cant while on these...
Edited by dieselkush (03/25/09 09:59 PM)
|
MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 25,978
Loc:
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#10042625 - 03/25/09 09:57 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I have not been drunk since new years.
I see it as an accomplishment for me since I used to drink the point of passing out/ blacking out every day.
--------------------
 
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
|
Quote:
I have not been drunk since new years.
I see it as an accomplishment for me since I used to drink the point of passing out/ blacking out every day.
That's badass man, keep on keeping on!
It's amazing how good you feel when you finally break the cycle & get used to sobriety.
Quote:
I know mine is nothing compared to some of the people here, but... im trying to get off of mj and prescription pills. Ive tried to quit many times and have gone through the stages in the 1st post. but my problem is where I live this stuff is easy to get, and is in the house constantly. so when I quit I do good for a week then about the second week my mind starts turning to the substance. it passifys me, calms me to the devestation of this world and makes me not think clearly. plus I do not learn as fast or quick as if I was sober. but for some reason as long as I have it to fall back on im in a good mood, and have motivation.without it to fall back on at the end of the day or during the day I am in a shit mood, and have no motivation. how do I take the steps to get off of it permanetly. I am wanting to get an education,but I cant while on these...
You can do it....it's not going to be easy, but nothing worthwhile is. The trick is, you need to learn how to not only acknowledge, but also appreciate the fact that you won't always feel good. You gotta embrace life in it's entirety, taking the bad with the good. Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you not. Sometimes you feel great, sometimes you feel like shit. Sometimes you're alert & motivated, sometimes you're tired, groggy, cranky and lackadaisical. Just remember that thoughts and feelings are just thoughts and feelings......they come and they go. There's a recovery workbook that's really opened my eyes; The Tao of Sobriety, check it out, it may help you as well.
Also, what kind of prescription pills are you taking?
--------------------
|
MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 25,978
Loc:
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#10043457 - 03/26/09 12:45 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
The only thing that really seems to help me when I get to the point of not careing and just wanting to obliterate my feelings is asking "how would that help my situation?"
Asking that makes the difference between whether I say "fuck it Im gonna get drunk tonight" or not.
--------------------
|
dieselkush
Stranger
Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 582
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#10044652 - 03/26/09 08:32 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
vidcodin,oxycontin, and darveset mainly. Ill have a look at the book you've suggested, I normally have self control with most things in my life. but with those I live with they pop pills and smoke every day, every time I walk by they offer me some. I cant say no, by heart I love these things, bud and pills....
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: dieselkush]
#10046929 - 03/26/09 02:51 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Reading this thread is crazy it seems like it was so long ago that I was using everyday and living on the streets, I still ain't got my life all the way together but at least I am not physically addicted to opiates anymore lol The shit never fucking leaves my mind I still think about it almost everyday, Things just set me off the weirdest things too like certain pop songs that were on the radio alot that summer. Dirty bathrooms in some ghetto resturant in portland always remind me of getting high, Everytime I see the scars on my arms.
When I first got clean I was proud to tell everyone about what I had gone through and how I had overcome it and whatnot, But now its just embarrassing I can't beleive I let myself go like that
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
marshalldylan1
Stranger
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 2,485
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#10047572 - 03/26/09 04:26 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I really don't think I could go through the intensity of what my withrawals would be like right now.
Less than 18 hours without my DOC, and I'm freaking out, and that is only the start.
Plus, this shit would last 2 weeks of withdrawing.
I just can't get off this shit.
(I'd rather not say what it is, but it's morphine and the withdrawal last 2 weeks)
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: dieselkush]
#10049672 - 03/26/09 09:09 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Ok, I wanted to make sure that you weren't talking SSRIs or anything like that where you need to be under doctor supervision to kick. You can do this on your own; it's not going to be pleasant, but you can get through it. Remind yourself that it's not going to last forever, and remember that you'll feel so much better when it's over. It's like the sun coming out from behind the clouds after a perpetual storm.
dobie, i'm so happy to hear that you're doing good! Keep it up brother.
marshalldylan1, sure you can man, I've done it before, about to do it again. You're a lot stronger than you realize, and once you beat this your confidence in yourself will jump.
--------------------
|
slickvic
seeker
Registered: 12/07/07
Posts: 131
Last seen: 1 year, 5 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#10054272 - 03/27/09 01:56 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
anyone who is willing to step up and tackle their addiction is true badass, one of the most difficult battles to ever be fought. Just stay away from thet 12step meetings its the blind leadint the blind over there. Good luck.
--------------------
i tell you this, no eternal reward will forgive us now for Wasting the dawn...
|
Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 14 days, 14 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: slickvic]
#11787092 - 01/07/10 10:19 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Thread Resurrection...
But I need support. I've been addicted to opiates for nearly 8 or so years, off and on.
Now I'm snorting heroin. There are moments when I want to shoot it but I stop myself.
I'm ordering 2 oz of Kratom to see if that will help control my cravings, I pray that it works
even half as well as it is advertised.
I'm currently not physically addicted, I have been spreading out my use, binging and such...
But the cravings.... Just the mental cravings are crushing me. I am hating my life because
of this shit.
I just needed to vent somewhere. I've no good place to go for help. Thanks.
~Casil
--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.
~Casil
|
deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Todcasil]
#11787321 - 01/07/10 11:06 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Good luck man! I'm currently battling psychological addiction to heroin myself after quitting a daily IV habit. I'd recommend exercise, not only to keep you fit and healthy but also for the endorphin release.
Opening Pandora's box has certainly made for an interesting journey... BTW are you in AZ by chance? I'm down in Tucson.
--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
  
|
Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 14 days, 14 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: deCypher]
#11787371 - 01/07/10 11:18 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah... For some reason I think maybe we have spoke before? I am in Phx though.
Glendale to be precise.
I constantly think about exercise... Depression is also a dual battle i am facing alongside
my addiction as well... A double whammy for sure :/
~A. Casil
--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.
~Casil
|
tracedwards313
Tits Mcgrits
Registered: 08/02/09
Posts: 1,014
Last seen: 11 days, 12 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Todcasil]
#11979141 - 02/06/10 10:45 PM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
i have recently started use of opiates, and to be honest imin fucking love with them.
i have spent over 5 grand in the past 6 months on opiates along
i do my make my money as well, but they are really starting to take hold of me.
some times ill do a 3 for no reason, knowing it wont get me high but just calm the want.
im in a pickle, im still quite a ways for addiction. but i have no desire to stop.
i understand that this is a one way street to destruction
moderation of all drugs is the tru key
but i just feel these quick fixes are the easiest way to fullful my life, which i know is stupid.
i just wish i could find something productive tht gave me the great feelings i get from drug use.
my one one question to you guys, people in similar shoes. should i really try to just drop my habbits NOW. or try to do it in moderation?
started on perc 30s, now do OC 80s from time to time, and love just about any other pill like xanax or really anything
should i stop? i always got weed and alcohol which never cause much of a problem but but pills are a whole new ball game
--------------------
 
I love Psilocybin.
Psilocybin, LSD, Ketamine, Mescaline, 2C-E, 5-Meo-DMT, DXM, LSA, Marijuana, Alcohol, Heroin/Opiates, 4-Aco-DMT, Methylone, 25I-NBOMe, Cocaine/Crack, amphetamines, Pharms, PCP, Benzos, DMT/Aya, Salvia, MDMA, Nitrous, MXE, 2C-C
Exile Nation Project
|
roboto212
Stranger
Registered: 12/25/09
Posts: 690
Last seen: 2 days, 23 hours
|
|
Quote:
tracedwards313 said:
but i just feel these quick fixes are the easiest way to fullful my life, which i know is stupid.
i just wish i could find something productive tht gave me the great feelings i get from drug use.
my one one question to you guys, people in similar shoes. should i really try to just drop my habbits NOW. or try to do it in moderation?
You need to read up on raw foods immediately. I cannot advocate Raw Foods enough as it is my belief that it can cure anything, including addiction.
This is how I look at it: Every human has a desire to be in a bliss state, a state of pleasure absent of worry. People do various things to achieve this state, whether its drugs, alcohol, exercise, sex, meditation, yoga, etc. This desire is hardwired into our brains, even at the ripe age of 1 years old babies like to spin around in circles to make themselves dizzy, to induce an intoxicating state of joy.
This is why adults do drugs, to induce an intoxicating state of joy. Why do we all have this desire? It is our birthright to be in a bliss state, it is not some make believe state, or something waiting for those in the afterlife, bliss is obtainable on Earth.
When you take up Raw Foods, you are eating the healthiest foods on Earth: Uncooked fruits, veggies, seeds, nuts, beans, pollen etc. You are giving your body what it wants to return to homeostasis, and when your body is in perfect homeostasis, you achieve a naturally sustaining bliss state. This bliss state is best replicated by smoking a fine strain of cannabis. Feelings of joy, happiness, energy, youth, no anxiety, no worries. The Raw High you achieve after eating only raw foods for a couple weeks is the cannabis high without the negative side effects of smoking. When you are on a Raw High, you can no longer smoke a cigerette, as the taste smears your taste buds and makes you gag, you have no need for a cigerette as your dopamine levels are in perfect homeostasis. You dont want to take those opiates because your endorphin levels are elevated from being in an alkaline state, perfect homeostasis.
Same goes for any drug: The medical industry is the largest junkie in the world. They give you a chemical substance to alter your body chemistry, to fill in the gap of some deficiency. What if our bodies are serotonin, dopamine, endorphin deficient as well? It makes sense that so many people who eat cooked foods easily develop addictions, even when they dont necessarily want to.
It is an innocent act to do drugs, as you are desiring the natural birth right which is a bliss state. It is OK to want to feel good all the time, but our society has skewed everything.
Try raw foods for a week, even while taking your opiates. You will notice that you will no longer need the opiates, that the morphine/endorphin deficiency is no longer present, you have reached an equilibrium in your endorphin levels.
It is very hard for people to believe you can achieve a drug high from only eating raw foods, but it has always been the case that you can get higher without drugs than you can with them.
--------------------
OM MANI PADME HUM! IM SO HAPPY
|
Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 14 days, 14 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: roboto212]
#11982101 - 02/07/10 01:10 PM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
Interesting... I used to have a really good friend who started eating Raw Foods
and I couldn't help but notice a change in her. The trick is to constantly be eating
raw foods though, when she would slip and eat cooked foods she would always
have panic or supra-depressed moments, depending.
BTW I'm clean you guys
Still struggling some days, but I always catch myself and I'm staying out of trouble.
Peace.
--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.
~Casil
|
sleepy
zZzZzZzZz
Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 3,888
Loc:
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Todcasil]
#11989484 - 02/08/10 04:06 PM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
i've found ayurveda to be really helpful for drug addiction. and ayurveda says that raw food is not good for some people, but good for others.
|
Scudreloaded
psychonaut
Registered: 03/15/09
Posts: 2,928
Loc: Wonderland
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: sleepy]
#12013908 - 02/12/10 01:32 AM (2 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
i'm trying to quit or atleast slow my alcohol drinking.
i have alcohol posioning two nights ago and almost died.
i'm going to start seeing a psychologist next week.
thinking of maybe moving to a different state so the same people cant get ahold of me to try and take me out to go drinking
--------------------
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. - Hunter S. Thompson
- believe what you may but take the internet with a grain of salt
|
Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
|
|
Well I'm about to go through minor WDs, again. But it is completely expected so meh just another day.
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12145100 - 03/04/10 08:28 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I think my love affair with opiates have finnaly ran its course I spent this last weekend in a state of constant nod and to be honest I didn't like it I didn't like to be around people that fucked up I feel like I looked like a fool, Plus after 3 days of partying I was dopesick the two days after that and it sucked. When I got em I don't think I even wanted em I just grabbed em outta habit. Heroin still occupies my thoughts most of the day everything triggers me especially this house this computer and this website, I spent a whole lot of nights really high on surfing this site. I don't know if I will fully ever get over opiates I do know right now if I was offered I think I could say no and it wouldn't drive me crazy thinking about drugs I missed out on
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
JackofSpades
Peace
Registered: 02/28/09
Posts: 2,894
Last seen: 3 hours, 13 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#12155346 - 03/06/10 05:23 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
have faith man! keep fighting were with you.
--------------------
  If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.
|
Scudreloaded
psychonaut
Registered: 03/15/09
Posts: 2,928
Loc: Wonderland
|
|
relapsing onto weed again.
i had a relapse with alcohol last week where i drank a handle of bacardi to myself but i havent been drinking latly..
so im gunna toke up a lil today
--------------------
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. - Hunter S. Thompson
- believe what you may but take the internet with a grain of salt
|
Irishdrunk
Now with less alcoholism!
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 20,586
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#12175226 - 03/10/10 12:21 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
This is a great thread, I didn't think a thread like this would be taken well on such a drug oriented site. So cool to see people asking about getting help etc. I hope I can help answer some questions. Spent 4 months in treatment and active in AA/NA.
--------------------
He who makes a beast of himself,
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
Edited by Irishdrunk (03/10/10 12:29 AM)
|
Irishdrunk
Now with less alcoholism!
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 20,586
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#12175303 - 03/10/10 12:46 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Dobie said:
I think my love affair with opiates have finnaly ran its course I spent this last weekend in a state of constant nod and to be honest I didn't like it I didn't like to be around people that fucked up I feel like I looked like a fool, Plus after 3 days of partying I was dopesick the two days after that and it sucked. When I got em I don't think I even wanted em I just grabbed em outta habit. Heroin still occupies my thoughts most of the day everything triggers me especially this house this computer and this website, I spent a whole lot of nights really high on surfing this site. I don't know if I will fully ever get over opiates I do know right now if I was offered I think I could say no and it wouldn't drive me crazy thinking about drugs I missed out on
You should consider going to treatment dob. You will have using dreams and constant cravings because your addiction sounds pretty strong.
--------------------
He who makes a beast of himself,
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
Edited by Irishdrunk (03/10/10 02:05 AM)
|
deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Irishdrunk]
#12175315 - 03/10/10 12:48 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Irishdrunk said:
Addiction isn't something you can just stop.....its incurable, life long, and often deadly if left untreated.
This is not necessarily true.
--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
|
Irishdrunk
Now with less alcoholism!
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 20,586
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: deCypher]
#12175375 - 03/10/10 01:09 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Ya you're right, theres numerous factors it depends on, like what you're addicted to, and how strong the addiction is, my mistake. I shouldnt have posted the deadly part thats wrong too. All addictions are harmful in different ways, but some can be deadly. Some addictions you can stop with willpower if they aren't strong. Maybe I'll take more time thinking about what to say in here before posting it. I dont want to give the wrong ideas. Thanks deC.
As for alcoholism and hard drug addiction, ts a complicated subject, and there's alot of opinions on whether or not its a desease and incurable.
--------------------
He who makes a beast of himself,
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
Edited by Irishdrunk (03/10/10 01:25 AM)
|
PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 8,657
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 13 hours, 42 minutes
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Irishdrunk]
#12175619 - 03/10/10 02:35 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Irishdrunk said:
As for alcoholism and hard drug addiction, ts a complicated subject, and there's alot of opinions on whether or not its a desease and incurable.
I don't think it comes down to a debate. The answer is "where there's a will there's a way."
ANYONE who truly wants to quit addictive substances and pull their life together, can. It is a matter of taking initiative to create the right set of circumstances in order to follow through.
Bottom line IMO.
(BTW - i've quit a cocaine/crack addiction and a very heavy 3 year ketamine addiction, without outside help.)
--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.
|
Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Irishdrunk]
#12175652 - 03/10/10 02:50 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I have been thinking of going to a students with addiction group meeting that my school recently put together. Just to check it and see if anything sticks.
|
Delilah Skye
Registered: 03/03/10
Posts: 14
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12181580 - 03/11/10 02:25 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
ahh.. Addiction.. that's a word i know too well.. growing up, both parents were alchoholics (one in AA and one not)... grandparents and various other relatives as well.. i partied all through high school.. dated drug dealers... and most recently dated a man for 3 years who was an extreme non functioning alchoholic.. and while dating him i got to watch my father die from his own alchoholism.. one day i woke up and had to get myself out of the situations i'd put myself in.. seems odd, i was never the one with the huge problems.. yea i'd partied a lot.. yeah, i'd done tons of almost any drug you can name... but it seemed i always had a hold on it and knew when to stop... till i fell for a drunk.. growing up around alchoholism i guess i should have known better.. (all that stuff about it running in the family) so when i left him it was too late.. i don't blame him at all.. i knew exactly what i was getting myself into.. i was becoming the next alchoholic in the family.. funny how that works.. but anyway.. about 4 months ago i ran into this man after being apart for a over a year.. we got together and it was like we'd never separated, except for the fact that he'd sobered up... so all i know is.. if this man, who was total rock bottom.. in and out of jail, waking up with 5 shots in the morning, and totally stung out... if he can kick his habbit like he has, and can inspire me to slow down and take a good long look at myself... i think anyone can.. like someone said before, it is will power.. but part of that will power has to include the courage to ask for help and get treatment.. im not saying i'm 100% sober... i still have my wine every now and again... and i guess only time will tell if thats a slippery slope for me or not.. but it's nice to get it off my chest somewhere... this really is a great thread.
--------------------
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Irishdrunk]
#12188337 - 03/12/10 04:45 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Irishdrunk said:
Quote:
Dobie said:
I think my love affair with opiates have finnaly ran its course I spent this last weekend in a state of constant nod and to be honest I didn't like it I didn't like to be around people that fucked up I feel like I looked like a fool, Plus after 3 days of partying I was dopesick the two days after that and it sucked. When I got em I don't think I even wanted em I just grabbed em outta habit. Heroin still occupies my thoughts most of the day everything triggers me especially this house this computer and this website, I spent a whole lot of nights really high on surfing this site. I don't know if I will fully ever get over opiates I do know right now if I was offered I think I could say no and it wouldn't drive me crazy thinking about drugs I missed out on
You should consider going to treatment dob. You will have using dreams and constant cravings because your addiction sounds pretty strong.
I have been in treatment since the summer its helped a bit but I am still a drug addicted lunatic I just don't do drug that much anymore
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
Kiefish
JuniperJones
Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 1,567
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: wowitch17]
#12191480 - 03/12/10 03:48 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I just read through this entire thread, as I've been
questioning how bad my drinking is lately.
This made me really sad too:
Quote:
wowitch17 said:
Quote:
Dreamer987 said:
uuggg here it goes:
My life is a mess, and i use heroin a lot. However i don't have the cut and dried struggles/triumphs of an addict.
I'v been going steady for ??? a year or two mabey? and i'v never binged to the point of a physical addiction. But i shoot up a lot. And i'm depressed all the time.
And i want to be happy, but i'm stuck in a cycle of deppression. It would be great if i could say "oh if only i quit the junk it would be the first step to a happy life" but thats simply not the case.
I get high some days, than i may be sober for a week. Sometimes two.
And i have nothing in life to go to any more. All friends are gone.
So i go downtown, and i get a $20 balloon, and i take it home, and shoot half, and feel a familiar warmth, and sense of acomplishment. It makes me feel as if i was a better man.
Than depending on how strong it is, i shoot the other half, and i nod off on the back porch, and smoke ciggerettes, or lay down, and want it to feel like it used to. Want that bulldozing wave of euphoria, accompanied by the sense of complete well being, and the buetiful heroin dreams.
I rarely get anything close to that. Just feel pretty good, and a little fucked up.
Do i have to hit rock bottom to bounce up, and redeem myself, because it might be a LONG descent.
The Heroin used to be for fun, and now i run to it whenever i feel stressed, or deppressed, or bored. Which is ALL the time.
I could quit, but i don't think it will do any good. It won't solve any imediate or long term problems, as it won't help them either.
Am i in denial? I have to be to a certain extent, because everyone tells me i'm an addict. That the only thing heroin will ever do is make me dead or in prison.
They all turn there backs on me, because they believe that it will make me quit, and solve all my problems. I don't listen to them, and let them hurt us for giving the ultimatum, but the question still stands.
I want everyone thats struggling with heroin to read this, and know that he is in fact dead now. A lot of people are sad/hurt/angry because of his death. He was wrong when he said he had no friends, bu t its too late for that shit now.
I know it's been a while but it really hit me for some reason.
--------------------
 
|
5HTSynaptrip
Dopamine Enthusiast
Registered: 09/14/08
Posts: 3,824
Loc: Ohio
Last seen: 3 days, 22 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#12202647 - 03/14/10 06:52 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Have been clean from opiates for 17 days. Still not sleeping at night, and it's affecting my memory. I forget things all the time and have terrible mood swings, zero motivation, and just this profound sense of boredom.
I hate the insomnia though. Can't sleep a wink over 3 hours.
--------------------
Science is a way of thinking much more than it is a body of knowledge. - My hero, who will be forever remembered, Carl Sagan.
 
|
deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
|
|
I am still hopelessly addicted to chainsmoking clove cigarettes.
--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
|
Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: deCypher] 1
#12202839 - 03/14/10 07:31 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Over spring break I am gonna shape my shit up. Too much going on now with finals week and shit. My roommate is going to rehab though. Of all the people I know who have successfully quit opiates...none did so with the help of rehab. Everyone I know who went to rehab just got my hook ups.
|
Irishdrunk
Now with less alcoholism!
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 20,586
|
|
Just thought I'd mention my experience a little, I went to treatment 14 months ago for Alcohol, powder cocaine, and benzos....but I've done it all over the years.
I went to a world class rehab with 12 addiction specialists, a full time medical doctor on site, a psychiatrist for mental problems on site, 8 nurses, 80 inpatients, and 40 extended care patients. Of all those patients, about 20 are sober still, and 4 are dead. 3 of them died while in treatment with me. They had medical conditions related to the addiction and didn't get help before it was too late. The other one was found shot 8 times in the head 2 weeks after he got out. The ones who relapsed will suffer alot but hopefully will figure it out, but the odds are against them. I know a few who are homeless now. (one lived with me in a sober house) and 2 in prison. (One was caught selling drugs after rehab and one went to jail because he didnt complete treatment)
I'm pretty proud of myself for taking the right steps to stay sober, 14 months in I'm a much happier person. Its the harder path but I've taken the easy way my whole life and it didn't take me anywhere. Things are all coming together for me, and the future is looking good.
Anyways, just thought I'd mention that....its some serious shit but if you take the leap and work at it, you can succeed at being sober.
--------------------
He who makes a beast of himself,
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
|
Irishdrunk
Now with less alcoholism!
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 20,586
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12286088 - 03/28/10 01:18 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Tangerines said:
Of all the people I know who have successfully quit opiates...none did so with the help of rehab. Everyone I know who went to rehab just got my hook ups.
Thats funny, of the opiate addicts I know from treatment, most of them stayed sober. It was the crackheads that relapsed. So I guess it depends on who you know. Also the people you knew probably didnt take rehab seriously or didnt follow the easy directions to stay sober.
It is possible to kick it on your own of course. Rehab doesnt work for everyone... trying to kick it yourself is obviously the best way, but if you can't rehab can help.
--------------------
He who makes a beast of himself,
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
|
Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Irishdrunk]
#12288156 - 03/28/10 01:42 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Yea that's true. I hope my roommate can pull through.
I am currently 2 weeks clean and feelin' damn good.
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12290364 - 03/28/10 10:37 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
High five tang! keep up the good work and remember moderation is the key
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#12531979 - 05/09/10 12:57 PM (2 years, 22 days ago) |
|
|
I just wanted to check in & give a little update on my own struggle since things are actually going well.
I don't remember my last post in here, but as a lotta you know I wound up going way off deep-end, once again........to where I thought that I'd never get back.
However, I did the rehab thing & have surrendered completely to the program of NA. and I gotta say; I'm really digging it. Not that it's easy, but total abstinence from all drugs (including alcohol) is where it's at for me. I'm learning a lot from my journalling & step work & loving the meetings and other get-togethers we have.
It's a trip & a half.....almost like a drug in & of itself; all the feelings & other stuff. For example uncontrollable hysterical laughter....like I'm on acid or something. It's pretty wild. I know some people think that staying completely straight is lame, and that NA is lame, etc....but to be perfectly honest, I don't care what anyone thinks about it anymore. This is not just what I have to do for myself...it's what I want to do. I've done more than enough drugs in my day, there's no need for me to do more. Straight up. But that's just me.
Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my experience, strength & hope in here & let ya know that it's actually pretty sweet to be clean. Today (05/09/10) I have 91 days clean.
Much love to you all!
--------------------
|
Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#12532038 - 05/09/10 01:10 PM (2 years, 22 days ago) |
|
|
Congrats on getting clean man. My best friend was in a similar situation as you and NA brought him back from his death bed. Whatever it takes to get and stay clean man fuck the haters.
I'm still opiate free myself, though I still smoke and drink.
|
blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12532408 - 05/09/10 02:24 PM (2 years, 22 days ago) |
|
|
Nice going guys! Stay strong and you will beat this disease.
--------------------
|
Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#12545513 - 05/11/10 07:27 PM (2 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
High five bro, I am still non addicted but not clean if ya know what I mean I just got outta jail last week probation didn't like my 5th dirty ua or something lol fuck its been harder to quit weed than heroin
--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch
|
Society
Society
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 10,692
Loc: Society
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#12546082 - 05/11/10 09:22 PM (2 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
Good to see that things are going pretty well with you fellas. Minus the jail thing.
--------------------
Society
|
4ohdmt
Stranger
Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 2,086
Last seen: 5 months, 15 days
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Society]
#12549512 - 05/12/10 02:32 PM (2 years, 19 days ago) |
|
|
I'm at 29 days free of opiates
It really fucking sucks, but I guess it'll get better. I'm just now starting to get satisfaction from other things in my life. If it gets too bad, it's been nice out lately - I just go out for a walk and enjoy the weather.
I really need a job and a car though. Quit my job because I had to leave for detox and couldn't really miss any more work, but it was on good terms so I can still use them as a reference (it's just a pizza place, but I worked for them for four years at 2 different locations and in every position.)
Lost the car... longer story. I started on Celexa and shit kept me up until 2 in the morning every night, and I had to get up at 6 in the morning to drive 30 miles to school. Eventually I had such a sleep debt that I just fell asleep at the wheel on my way home, about 2 minutes away from the house, ran into the curb, and fucked up 3 tires. The car is in my parents name and I didn't pay for the majority of it so they just gave it to my sister. She still mocks me, saying she got the car because I was on drugs and crashed it and stuff like that. I was not on drugs - well, I had a red bull that morning but that is the only drug I had taken that day. I had a bag of freshly picked poppy pods in the back seat I was going to blend up once I got home. FML...
I really regret admitting to my parents I was addicted to opiates, I just hated seeing my mom worried like that when she said she thought I was on something. I wanted to see a doctor to get some clonidine but the doctor wouldn't give me clonidine because I was on Remeron. I figured I could just take clonidine, kratom, klonopin, and weed to get through it. I am sure I could have... going to detox just meant going through withdrawal the day after I got out because my last dose was 1mg of suboxone.
So having fucked up the car and just gotten out of detox, I had missed just enough classes that I would not have to drop them all unless I had another absence - and my dad was going to drive me to my school every morning. Well, the first day I was going to go back to school, my dad said I was hard to wake up and "had slurred speech and was hardly breathing." I took 400mg of lyrica the night before and 0.1mg of clonidine, and 0.5mg of clonazepam. Of course I was groggy, but I wasn't slurring my speech or barely breathing. My mouth was dry as shit because I had a stuffed nose and it made me talk funny until I brushed my teeth but yeah, my dad called my mom and said I had overdosed and he refused to take me to school.
I would be graduating with an AA and AS in a few days if it wasn't for that shit. My parents call me self-centered and weak and stuff all the time and my sister rubs it in my face that she's their favorite, as if she never drinks or smokes pot or takes pills. I got addicted to opiates. Shit happens. I was extremely depressed and it seemed like a better option than killing myself.
I really regret admitting to my parents that I was addicted to opiates. I was trying to handle it on my own and I was even down to like 1/8 my normal dose of pods and in the process of acquiring some drugs to ease the withdrawal. I was determined to get off of them, unlike the time I quit several weeks before for like 4 days.
I wish I could have gone back and done things differently, but I have a few nice things going for me right now that maybe wouldn't have happened otherwise. Maybe it was for the best. But as for my family, fuck them. My dad had lung cancer and 1/4 of his lung removed recently, and he's apparently fine now, but as sick as it sounds, I can't wait until it's time for him to stop taking pain meds. I hope he just gets cut off abruptly. I'm not sharing my clonidine, benzos, lyrica, or zofran with him. He told me I was depressing to look at because I was wearing a jacket for about 2 weeks after getting off the suboxone and always had goosebumps and felt cold. I took my jacket off so he could see my goosebumps in the 80 degree weather.
I even offered that bastard some promethazine because he was staying up coughing.
I have some serious fucking issues with my family. They drugged me up on zoloft, seroquel, some tricyclic, buspar, all sorts of shit, I think I was on 4 psych meds at once and I nearly shot myself with a handgun I made myself. I didn't get a choice... I've always been depressed, but I never seriously intended to kill myself until then.
They kicked me out when I was 18 and they said I could stay at home as long as I was going to school and working. Why? My (ex)girlfriend gave my sister some pot. I ended up telling them EVERYTHING my sister did for being a fucking rat when I was 17-18, she always told my parents everything I did while pretending not to. "How'd you like to know that adderall you caught me with I got from my sister? Oh, and she takes benzos, soma, hydrocodone, smokes weed, does whippets, LSD, and drinks." They drug tested me that day and I turned up clean for everything because I hadn't done any drugs in months - because they said they'd kick me out if I did drugs. Hell, my sister was telling my parents I was doing shit I wasn't so she could look better. They have not once drug tested her, I got drug tested repeatedly.
My mom told me I was BSing how shitty I felt and looked getting off of pods because she came off of 30mg/day of hydrocodone and it "wasn't that bad at all." I don't really know how I could pretend diarrhea or goosebumps.
Sorry for the long rant... I had some stuff I had to get off my chest. In spite of everything I still love them. I just didn't realize how angry I was and it ended up all spilling onto the keyboard.
|
deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: 4ohdmt]
#12549522 - 05/12/10 02:34 PM (2 years, 19 days ago) |
|
|
Good to hear you're almost a month clean from opiates man!
I totalled my car while kicking heroin, so it's allll good.
--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
|
Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star] 2
#15778772 - 02/08/12 11:11 AM (3 months, 19 days ago) |
|
|
Well, seeing as today I officially have 2 years clean I figured that I'd bump this thread. It's hard to believe that I started this thread almost 5 years ago. Time flies........ But yeah, 2 years clean. It's kind of a weird place to be, to be honest. I've progressed a lot in my life, but not as much as I would like..............or would've thought. Still, it's a miracle to not be sick, to not have to take something to get through the day...........to have a chance. I don't even want to use anymore, and that's a pretty awesome feeling. I've been feeling the pull of the psychedelic lately, but i don't categorize that as "using" in the traditional sense. Not craving opiates, alcohol & blow to escape my daily life is a big change. I'm coming to accept life for what it is, including the pain. I was never able to do that before. Life is interesting. I'm in college, moving closer to my degree.....and a highly respected professor at my school told me recently that I should seriously consider going to medical school! That's pretty big considering where I was at a couple of years ago. Life has it's ups & down, but at the end of the day I'm grateful that I have a life to live. Looking back, I should've been dead a bunch of times. Yet I've survived........
So can you.
--------------------
|
bigmike7104
Stranger
Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 1,312
Loc: USA
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#15782854 - 02/09/12 08:17 AM (3 months, 18 days ago) |
|
|
--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
|
MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 25,978
Loc:
|
Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: bigmike7104]
#15796975 - 02/12/12 09:39 AM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
|
|
10 days sober.
--------------------
|
bigmike7104
Stranger
Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 1,312
Loc: USA
|
|
keep it going man, you can do it. and when you get a craving, try to look at what caused that craving and what thoughts you had before it.
Quote:
If five minutes of resisting temptation actually lowers your cognitive control, what's the impact of five hours? If 10 minutes of suppressing your feelings saps your cognitive reserves, imagine the impact of suppressing those feelings (deliberately and consciously) all day long, day after day. Addicts know the feeling. And that's why I often say that addicts need to be stronger—not weaker—than ordinary folks, just to endure their cravings.
also here's a good article
Quote:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/addicted-brains/201202/ego-fatigue-and-the-pull-the-present
and going even further, try to look at what circumstances you were in right around the time you became addicted
--------------------
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
|
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit 
Reply 
Anonymous
