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 Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork 
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
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 Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: deCypher]  1
#12202839 - 03/14/10 07:31 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
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Over spring break I am gonna shape my shit up. Too much going on now with finals week and shit. My roommate is going to rehab though. Of all the people I know who have successfully quit opiates...none did so with the help of rehab. Everyone I know who went to rehab just got my hook ups.
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 Irishdrunk
Now with less alcoholism!
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 20,586
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Just thought I'd mention my experience a little, I went to treatment 14 months ago for Alcohol, powder cocaine, and benzos....but I've done it all over the years.
I went to a world class rehab with 12 addiction specialists, a full time medical doctor on site, a psychiatrist for mental problems on site, 8 nurses, 80 inpatients, and 40 extended care patients. Of all those patients, about 20 are sober still, and 4 are dead. 3 of them died while in treatment with me. They had medical conditions related to the addiction and didn't get help before it was too late. The other one was found shot 8 times in the head 2 weeks after he got out. The ones who relapsed will suffer alot but hopefully will figure it out, but the odds are against them. I know a few who are homeless now. (one lived with me in a sober house) and 2 in prison. (One was caught selling drugs after rehab and one went to jail because he didnt complete treatment)
I'm pretty proud of myself for taking the right steps to stay sober, 14 months in I'm a much happier person. Its the harder path but I've taken the easy way my whole life and it didn't take me anywhere. Things are all coming together for me, and the future is looking good.
Anyways, just thought I'd mention that....its some serious shit but if you take the leap and work at it, you can succeed at being sober.
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He who makes a beast of himself,
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
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Irishdrunk
Now with less alcoholism!
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 20,586
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12286088 - 03/28/10 01:18 AM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tangerines said:
Of all the people I know who have successfully quit opiates...none did so with the help of rehab. Everyone I know who went to rehab just got my hook ups.
Thats funny, of the opiate addicts I know from treatment, most of them stayed sober. It was the crackheads that relapsed. So I guess it depends on who you know. Also the people you knew probably didnt take rehab seriously or didnt follow the easy directions to stay sober.
It is possible to kick it on your own of course. Rehab doesnt work for everyone... trying to kick it yourself is obviously the best way, but if you can't rehab can help.
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He who makes a beast of himself,
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
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Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Irishdrunk]
#12288156 - 03/28/10 01:42 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yea that's true. I hope my roommate can pull through.
I am currently 2 weeks clean and feelin' damn good.
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Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12290364 - 03/28/10 10:37 PM (2 years, 2 months ago) |
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High five tang! keep up the good work and remember moderation is the key
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This place is gayer than when the balls touch
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Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#12531979 - 05/09/10 12:57 PM (2 years, 22 days ago) |
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I just wanted to check in & give a little update on my own struggle since things are actually going well.
I don't remember my last post in here, but as a lotta you know I wound up going way off deep-end, once again........to where I thought that I'd never get back.
However, I did the rehab thing & have surrendered completely to the program of NA. and I gotta say; I'm really digging it. Not that it's easy, but total abstinence from all drugs (including alcohol) is where it's at for me. I'm learning a lot from my journalling & step work & loving the meetings and other get-togethers we have.
It's a trip & a half.....almost like a drug in & of itself; all the feelings & other stuff. For example uncontrollable hysterical laughter....like I'm on acid or something. It's pretty wild. I know some people think that staying completely straight is lame, and that NA is lame, etc....but to be perfectly honest, I don't care what anyone thinks about it anymore. This is not just what I have to do for myself...it's what I want to do. I've done more than enough drugs in my day, there's no need for me to do more. Straight up. But that's just me. 
Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my experience, strength & hope in here & let ya know that it's actually pretty sweet to be clean. Today (05/09/10) I have 91 days clean.
Much love to you all! 
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Tangerines
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,879
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 22 days, 2 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#12532038 - 05/09/10 01:10 PM (2 years, 22 days ago) |
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Congrats on getting clean man. My best friend was in a similar situation as you and NA brought him back from his death bed. Whatever it takes to get and stay clean man fuck the haters.
I'm still opiate free myself, though I still smoke and drink.
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blissedout
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,108
Loc: Yonder
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Tangerines]
#12532408 - 05/09/10 02:24 PM (2 years, 22 days ago) |
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Nice going guys! Stay strong and you will beat this disease.
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Dobie
HICK THUG
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 48,414
Loc: Yo mamas vagina
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#12545513 - 05/11/10 07:27 PM (2 years, 20 days ago) |
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High five bro, I am still non addicted but not clean if ya know what I mean I just got outta jail last week probation didn't like my 5th dirty ua or something lol fuck its been harder to quit weed than heroin
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This place is gayer than when the balls touch
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Society
Society
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 10,692
Loc: Society
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dobie]
#12546082 - 05/11/10 09:22 PM (2 years, 20 days ago) |
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Good to see that things are going pretty well with you fellas. Minus the jail thing.
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Society
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4ohdmt
Stranger
Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 2,086
Last seen: 5 months, 15 days
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Society]
#12549512 - 05/12/10 02:32 PM (2 years, 19 days ago) |
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I'm at 29 days free of opiates 
It really fucking sucks, but I guess it'll get better. I'm just now starting to get satisfaction from other things in my life. If it gets too bad, it's been nice out lately - I just go out for a walk and enjoy the weather.
I really need a job and a car though. Quit my job because I had to leave for detox and couldn't really miss any more work, but it was on good terms so I can still use them as a reference (it's just a pizza place, but I worked for them for four years at 2 different locations and in every position.)
Lost the car... longer story. I started on Celexa and shit kept me up until 2 in the morning every night, and I had to get up at 6 in the morning to drive 30 miles to school. Eventually I had such a sleep debt that I just fell asleep at the wheel on my way home, about 2 minutes away from the house, ran into the curb, and fucked up 3 tires. The car is in my parents name and I didn't pay for the majority of it so they just gave it to my sister. She still mocks me, saying she got the car because I was on drugs and crashed it and stuff like that. I was not on drugs - well, I had a red bull that morning but that is the only drug I had taken that day. I had a bag of freshly picked poppy pods in the back seat I was going to blend up once I got home. FML...
I really regret admitting to my parents I was addicted to opiates, I just hated seeing my mom worried like that when she said she thought I was on something. I wanted to see a doctor to get some clonidine but the doctor wouldn't give me clonidine because I was on Remeron. I figured I could just take clonidine, kratom, klonopin, and weed to get through it. I am sure I could have... going to detox just meant going through withdrawal the day after I got out because my last dose was 1mg of suboxone.
So having fucked up the car and just gotten out of detox, I had missed just enough classes that I would not have to drop them all unless I had another absence - and my dad was going to drive me to my school every morning. Well, the first day I was going to go back to school, my dad said I was hard to wake up and "had slurred speech and was hardly breathing." I took 400mg of lyrica the night before and 0.1mg of clonidine, and 0.5mg of clonazepam. Of course I was groggy, but I wasn't slurring my speech or barely breathing. My mouth was dry as shit because I had a stuffed nose and it made me talk funny until I brushed my teeth but yeah, my dad called my mom and said I had overdosed and he refused to take me to school.
I would be graduating with an AA and AS in a few days if it wasn't for that shit. My parents call me self-centered and weak and stuff all the time and my sister rubs it in my face that she's their favorite, as if she never drinks or smokes pot or takes pills. I got addicted to opiates. Shit happens. I was extremely depressed and it seemed like a better option than killing myself.
I really regret admitting to my parents that I was addicted to opiates. I was trying to handle it on my own and I was even down to like 1/8 my normal dose of pods and in the process of acquiring some drugs to ease the withdrawal. I was determined to get off of them, unlike the time I quit several weeks before for like 4 days.
I wish I could have gone back and done things differently, but I have a few nice things going for me right now that maybe wouldn't have happened otherwise. Maybe it was for the best. But as for my family, fuck them. My dad had lung cancer and 1/4 of his lung removed recently, and he's apparently fine now, but as sick as it sounds, I can't wait until it's time for him to stop taking pain meds. I hope he just gets cut off abruptly. I'm not sharing my clonidine, benzos, lyrica, or zofran with him. He told me I was depressing to look at because I was wearing a jacket for about 2 weeks after getting off the suboxone and always had goosebumps and felt cold. I took my jacket off so he could see my goosebumps in the 80 degree weather.
I even offered that bastard some promethazine because he was staying up coughing.
I have some serious fucking issues with my family. They drugged me up on zoloft, seroquel, some tricyclic, buspar, all sorts of shit, I think I was on 4 psych meds at once and I nearly shot myself with a handgun I made myself. I didn't get a choice... I've always been depressed, but I never seriously intended to kill myself until then.
They kicked me out when I was 18 and they said I could stay at home as long as I was going to school and working. Why? My (ex)girlfriend gave my sister some pot. I ended up telling them EVERYTHING my sister did for being a fucking rat when I was 17-18, she always told my parents everything I did while pretending not to. "How'd you like to know that adderall you caught me with I got from my sister? Oh, and she takes benzos, soma, hydrocodone, smokes weed, does whippets, LSD, and drinks." They drug tested me that day and I turned up clean for everything because I hadn't done any drugs in months - because they said they'd kick me out if I did drugs. Hell, my sister was telling my parents I was doing shit I wasn't so she could look better. They have not once drug tested her, I got drug tested repeatedly.
My mom told me I was BSing how shitty I felt and looked getting off of pods because she came off of 30mg/day of hydrocodone and it "wasn't that bad at all." I don't really know how I could pretend diarrhea or goosebumps.
Sorry for the long rant... I had some stuff I had to get off my chest. In spite of everything I still love them. I just didn't realize how angry I was and it ended up all spilling onto the keyboard.
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deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: 4ohdmt]
#12549522 - 05/12/10 02:34 PM (2 years, 19 days ago) |
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Good to hear you're almost a month clean from opiates man!
I totalled my car while kicking heroin, so it's allll good.
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
  
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Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 8,797
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star] 2
#15778772 - 02/08/12 11:11 AM (3 months, 19 days ago) |
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Well, seeing as today I officially have 2 years clean I figured that I'd bump this thread. It's hard to believe that I started this thread almost 5 years ago. Time flies........ But yeah, 2 years clean. It's kind of a weird place to be, to be honest. I've progressed a lot in my life, but not as much as I would like..............or would've thought. Still, it's a miracle to not be sick, to not have to take something to get through the day...........to have a chance. I don't even want to use anymore, and that's a pretty awesome feeling. I've been feeling the pull of the psychedelic lately, but i don't categorize that as "using" in the traditional sense. Not craving opiates, alcohol & blow to escape my daily life is a big change. I'm coming to accept life for what it is, including the pain. I was never able to do that before. Life is interesting. I'm in college, moving closer to my degree.....and a highly respected professor at my school told me recently that I should seriously consider going to medical school! That's pretty big considering where I was at a couple of years ago. Life has it's ups & down, but at the end of the day I'm grateful that I have a life to live. Looking back, I should've been dead a bunch of times. Yet I've survived........
So can you.  
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bigmike7104
Stranger
Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 1,312
Loc: USA
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#15782854 - 02/09/12 08:17 AM (3 months, 18 days ago) |
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Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 25,978
Loc:
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: bigmike7104]
#15796975 - 02/12/12 09:39 AM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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10 days sober.
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bigmike7104
Stranger
Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 1,312
Loc: USA
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keep it going man, you can do it. and when you get a craving, try to look at what caused that craving and what thoughts you had before it.
Quote:
If five minutes of resisting temptation actually lowers your cognitive control, what's the impact of five hours? If 10 minutes of suppressing your feelings saps your cognitive reserves, imagine the impact of suppressing those feelings (deliberately and consciously) all day long, day after day. Addicts know the feeling. And that's why I often say that addicts need to be stronger—not weaker—than ordinary folks, just to endure their cravings.
also here's a good article
Quote:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/addicted-brains/201202/ego-fatigue-and-the-pull-the-present
and going even further, try to look at what circumstances you were in right around the time you became addicted
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Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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