Home | Community | Message Board

World Seed Supply
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale   Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Concentrates

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Farting etiquette
    #4738784 - 09/30/05 09:16 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Do you have any special tricks or techniques for farting in public?

Today one of my techniques was thwarted. It was near closing time in a mall. I was in a store pretty much alone. But, there were still some people milling about. I felt a very big and long fart coming on. I thought I would do the "slow release and walk fast" technique. This is where I let the fart out continuously in a slow manner while I walk at a brisk pace. This spreads it out and makes it probable that nobody will smell it.

Unfortunately, there was a woman who was about twenty feet behind me the whole time. I didn't see her until I was done farting. She was exactly in my path and she was going in the same direction. She had to have smelled my ass thunder.

I know that I was busted.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738791 - 09/30/05 09:18 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I don't think I have ever farted while moving now that you've got me

thinking about it.


When standing still, I just make sure I'm downwind.  :grin: :thumbup:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMcKennaFan200
AmateurGairologist

Registered: 04/30/04
Posts: 5,395
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738792 - 09/30/05 09:19 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

:rofl2:  I just let it go silently, no techniques really.


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBoom
just a tester
Male
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738793 - 09/30/05 09:19 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Meh I don't care unless I'm in a tight enclosed area...

I usually try to spread the ass a lil bit so it escaped silently, then I keep goin

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBoom
just a tester
Male
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738799 - 09/30/05 09:20 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah I def. hafta stop walking also, I can't fart on the move

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: Boom]
    #4738805 - 09/30/05 09:21 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

:lol:

Yeah, I'm afraid I'll shart if I don't stop moving.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLicense_to_Chill
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 4,979
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738814 - 09/30/05 09:24 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I used to fart while I ran track.

Usually felt as if I shit my pants...


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4738816 - 09/30/05 09:25 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

McKennaFan200 said:
:rofl2:  I just let it go silently, no techniques really.




99% of the time when you try to make your fart silent it works.  But, there is that 1% of the time when your sphincter decides to betray you and you get a fairly loud sound that everybody hears.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeathCompany
Oneironaut
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,662
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 1 year, 2 days
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738828 - 09/30/05 09:28 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

:lolz0rz:
i just blame it on the guy next to me


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738835 - 09/30/05 09:29 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

License_to_Chill said:
I used to fart while I ran track. 

Usually felt as if I shit my pants...




:thumbdown: shart :thumbdown:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLicense_to_Chill
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 4,979
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738843 - 09/30/05 09:30 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Yea, because my ass would be so sweaty that I couldn't tell if my bowels tricked me. :frown:


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738844 - 09/30/05 09:31 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

:thumbdown: swamp-ass :thumbdown:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCaptain Loafy McPoopdick
(4 1 2)

Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 6,571
Loc: 1 5 1 3 6
Last seen: 18 years, 30 days
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738845 - 09/30/05 09:31 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

:lol: funny story haha


I usually don't care who i'm around or how inclosed I am, i'll fart loud and proud! Faaarrrrt :puke: :grin:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCaptain Loafy McPoopdick
(4 1 2)

Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 6,571
Loc: 1 5 1 3 6
Last seen: 18 years, 30 days
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738849 - 09/30/05 09:32 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

WeAreAllOne said:
:thumbdown: swamp-ass :thumbdown:




Ahh, swamp-ass is THE worst. Boxer briefs usually cause it for me

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMcKennaFan200
AmateurGairologist

Registered: 04/30/04
Posts: 5,395
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738854 - 09/30/05 09:32 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Side Note- Love the sig man. I wanna hear "Welcome to Planet Motherfucker/Psychoholic Slag" so badly right now!


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLicense_to_Chill
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 4,979
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4738857 - 09/30/05 09:33 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Thats why I haven't worn underwear in nearly 3 years.  Feels good to dangle loose. :thumbup:


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeathCompany
Oneironaut
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,662
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 1 year, 2 days
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738873 - 09/30/05 09:36 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

jesus christ man :handth:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738880 - 09/30/05 09:38 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Commando!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSkunk420
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738882 - 09/30/05 09:38 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I fart a lot, come on I drink beer..I just let it out when no one is around...all at once. sometimes it comes out so what?? just dont shit your pants instead..:lol:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineredrum187
The Man Who Sold The World
 User Gallery
Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 1,104
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: Skunk420]
    #4738891 - 09/30/05 09:40 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

My job is pretty laid back... If there are no customers around my boss and i have competitions.


--------------------
Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.
-Tupac Shakur

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale   Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Concentrates


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* When girls fart
( 1 2 all )
moon_glue 3,547 38 02/09/09 12:58 PM
by grewya
* Pooping etiquette (danger, very funny!)
( 1 2 all )
daba 6,395 30 12/23/15 06:35 PM
by Cowb0yNeal00
* do u like the smell of ur own farts
( 1 2 all )
DeadPhan 2,295 25 05/10/09 06:41 AM
by Goomba
* Why is farting funny?
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Edge 6,088 60 06/23/08 06:57 PM
by Cannabischarlie
* Farts. (thppppppt) NewbieS 524 12 06/12/09 04:10 PM
by Gumby
* farting while no one is around....
( 1 2 3 all )
Cannabischarlie 3,947 48 06/25/08 06:13 PM
by Cannabischarlie
* The Etiquette Thread
( 1 2 3 all )
daimyo 2,969 45 10/21/05 04:07 PM
by Veritas
* Smoking Etiquette
( 1 2 3 all )
VoidOfsPg 5,902 44 12/02/05 09:55 AM
by Drink_Punk_Soda

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
6,135 topic views. 5 members, 39 guests and 66 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.03 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 13 queries.